Well, I should have known I was in trouble when I saw that the first half-hour or so of this trainwreck was dedicated to a dance contest between Fandango and Chris Jericho. A dance contest that never really got started. It ended with Fandango giving Jericho a heel beatdown. This is about 30 minutes of my life that I'll never get back.
Dolph Ziggler is officially scratched from the PPV, thanks to Jack Swagger giving him a concussion...because there aren't enough strikes against Jack Swagger already. The PPV match is now an "I Quit" match between Del Rio and Swagger with the winner getting Dolph at whatever the hell the next PPV is. That led to Big E Langston facing the winner of a WWE App poll (Hey, do you know what the WWE App? If you don't, watch this show and they'll tell you about it A MILLION TIMES!), which turned out to be...Jack Swagger...by a landslide! Oof! That can't bode well for Del Rio's face turn. Swagger won this match by countout, because nothing says EXTREME like a countout! Del Rio came out and we had the World's Most Tepid 3-way Brawl, which Del Rio wound up winning.
We got a six-man elimination match between Hell No and John Cena facing The Shield. Kane got eliminated after a LAAAAAAAAAAAME DQ and Bryan got eliminated after Ambrose's bulldog driver. Ok, so that leaves all three Shield guys against John Cena, who's still injured with a bad Achilles. They wouldn't POSSIBLY be dumb enough to have Cena Rise Above Hate and win, would they? Well...Cena pins Rollins after the AA, Reigns gets himself DQ'd after shoving the ref and spearing Cena, Cena kicks out of the spear and pulls Ambrose in for the shitty STF, leading to the other Shield guys coming in for the DQ. Holy fucking shit, they actually did it. They had John Cena beat all of The Shield BY HIMSELF! I'm fucking STUNNED! This goddamn company!
Post-match, Ryback beats up Cena. Whatever. Blow me.
What else happened on this atrocity of a show? Well, Randy Orton beat Antonio Cesaro, ending his epic Raw win streak at...one. The thing is, they just had a 20-minute match on Main Event a few nights ago (which Orton also won, 'natch) and their next to move is to...book them for the very next Raw and have it end in a two-minute squash. What is the point of even having secondary shows? Or why not book ANYBODY ELSE to face Orton? It CANNOT be this difficult!
AJ beat Natalya, which is shocking because I forgot that Natalya was still a wrestler! Shocking still, AJ won with something that WASN'T a roll-up, submitting Natty with a pretty boss octopus! Kaitlyn was on commentary. The Bellas were also on commentary, because............uh-huh, they were on commentary, alright.
The main event is a 20-minute Triple H promo, because OF COURSE IT IS! H calls out Brock, we get a pull-apart inside the steel cage (because they're spending good money on steel cages for Triple H promos now), and H stands tall. Good night everybody!
Oh, almost forgot, The Miz is back to kill us all. (tm CRZ)
I have to be honest. I'm nearly at the breaking point again and I might have to take YET ANOTHER break from this company. The only thing keeping me around right now is the fact that Extreme Rules has historically been one of the year's better PPV's. But can anybody see anything positive here? Is there ANYTHING to get excited about? Is there anything that isn't just more of the status quo?
Normally I look for anything, and I mean anything, positive to cling to when putting RAW into perspective. Tonight... I actually liked the not so much dance off. Past that there weren't to many bright spots.
Especially attending a WWE house show only 10 days removed listening to some kid behind me who wasn't even ten referencing the "Super Cena" article & screaming for a heel turn already. Which brings me to my conclusion for everyone younger than 30 on the W. The E is brainwashing the upcoming generation & we're doomed! Doomed I tell you!
Originally posted by jwrestleEspecially attending a WWE house show only 10 days removed listening to some kid behind me who wasn't even ten referencing the "Super Cena" article & screaming for a heel turn already. Which brings me to my conclusion for everyone younger than 30 on the W. The E is brainwashing the upcoming generation & we're doomed! Doomed I tell you!
Someone under 10 wanting Cena to turn heel? Surely that's a positive right?
(surprised he even knows what 'heel' means if I'm honest)
As for the Raw...yeah. Let's just leave it at that shall we?
Looking to the future, according to the dirt-sheets, the WWE's big plan is to turn Randy Orton heel and have him feud him with Cena.
That's their 'big summer angle'? Turn yet *another* guy who's name isn't John Cena heel? Really?
Bitch please, 2009 is calling, and they want their feud back. I predict all of you asking for this will in a few months be complaining about the fact that Randy Orton is being made to look like a weak & scared villain next to Cena, because that's what will probably happen. Cena will be allowed to bury Randy on the Mic, and Randy will have to stand there and take it, because that's what bad guys do these days when John Cena is involved.
It feels like the WWE are just biding time with Cena, making him sweat it out (read: milking his mer-ch for all it's worth) for one more year as the good guy till Cena v Taker at WM, at which point no doubt more excuses will be made by VKM as to why Cena can't do anything remotely interesting with his character.
Ugh, that show was awful. The dance-off was kind of interesting, with Fandango's heel dance partner, and it led to a pretty good serious Jericho promo later in the night. And I thought DB's hot streak in the six man was a highlight. Other than that, I wound up barely even watching the show. Almost nothing was capable of holding my interest, except for when it was exceptionally bad. Holy shit, the way they were plugging the app again made me wish that I could KILL THEM WITH MY MIND. You've got a pretty solid six man tag in the ring, and you cut in to announce that I should stop watching that, get on the internet with another device, and see what the Ryback has to say? Are you serious? It's a better way to watch RAW! Any time something remotely interesting is happening, you can stop watching it and get on the app to watch something stupid and pointless! Better! It's the absolute acme of their strategy to get me to not care about what's happening on their show.
Originally posted by Amos CochranThis was a better show than recent weeks, I'll give it that much. Watching people freak out over Shield losing by DQ (THEY RUINED THEM SO TOTALLY OMG!!!!!!) has been fairly amusing too.
John Cena didn't go over anybody tonight outside off Rollins, guys. Seriously.
(edited by Amos Cochran on 14.5.13 0319)
I think your defense has more to do with me calling this in the Smackdown thread as the inevitable worse thing they could do and you laughing it off. I still say it should be Kofi instead of Cena at a god damn PPV and not some Raw where you have two game 7s going on.
The Wee Baby Sheamus.Twitter: @realjoecarfley its a bit more toned down there. A bit.
steven87gill, don't forget 2007 for Cena vs. Orton version 1.0.
Apologies to anyone who foolishly thought Cesaro was getting a push again. Future apologies to anyone who thinks Kofi is getting one now (or 90% of the roster).
While I don't think Shield losing is earth shattering, I just don't understand why it had to happen here. Cena essentially beating them all was totally unnecessary. What would be bad is if they all job at the PPV, the they will be saddled firmly in the mid-card with all the other losers.
Originally posted by kentishWhile I don't think Shield losing is earth shattering, I just don't understand why it had to happen here. Cena essentially beating them all was totally unnecessary. What would be bad is if they all job at the PPV, the they will be saddled firmly in the mid-card with all the other losers.
This gives them a more recent reason to interfere with the title match at the PPV and cost him the belt.
"To be the man, you gotta beat demands." -- The Lovely Mrs. Tracker
Shield losing-ish is just basic WWE marxism (marks-ism?). They're about to get all the belts so they can afford to go 'down' (even without getting pinned) the week before. I wouldn't have done it like that with them, but I wouldn't have done these Cesaro/Orton matches either.
Originally posted by JustinShapiro
Originally posted by It's FalseI'd point out that United States Champion Kofi Kingston did the clean job in a match where he tagged with The Usos who haven't been on TV in ages (and one of whom was busted on DUI not too long ago), but The E is just purposely trolling everyone with the secondary champion business, so why bother?
Shield seemed to notice Kofi's title the same way they've claimed the tag belts. I think they pinned Kofi to set up a title match and change and all three Shield guys with titles.
See. While madness, there are still methods to it.
No bitching. Cena pins one of them (I'll repeat that: ONE OF THEM) and the sky is falling.
Now let's have a little quiz: You see a man get beaten to the point of injury. You are then given the opportunity to see this man punished via a beating of his own, delivered by:
a. a friend of the injured man b. some other guy
Who do you pick?
Because after being shown two different video packages of Jack Swagger concussing Dolph Ziggler, the fans were given the option of letting Dolph's girlfriend's good friend kick the shit out of him, they took the aforementioned option, and the response here is "DEL RIO'S FUCKED".
DEL RIO DIDN'T CONCUSS HIM. JACK DID.
There was a LOT wrong with this show, but quite frankly, O'Neil and Young beating Tons of Funk was infinitely more offensive than either of the above mentioned occurrences. The Not-Wanted-On-Primetime Players winning a match? Ain't nobody got time for that.
You know, I remember thinking to myself that the comics couldn't possibly be as funny on a consistent basis as the previous text-only reports you would do. Then I viewed the panels with Rey Misterio this week and I am in awe. Those were beautiful, man....