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18.3.24 2302
The W - Pro Wrestling - Raw #1034 3-18-13
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It's False
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Since: 20.6.02
From: I am the Tag Team Champions!

Since last post: 2190 days
Last activity: 572 days
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.37
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Huh? Wha? I'm awake! I'm awake! But MAN, did that main event Triple H contract signing ever put me to sleep. Good lord, that was SO boring and even Heyman couldn't save it, because that crowd was BORED and their boredom was contagious. So Heyman makes innuendos about Stephanie and Hunter has his way with him (the way he tore Heyman's shirt DID look disturbingly erotic) before signing the contract.

Post-signing, Brock Lesnar comes out, so Hunter counters with his trusty sledgehammer. Heyman laughs, because he has his stipulation. And that stipulation is...

No holds barred...with Triple H's CAREER on the line!

That's a totally shocking revelation that would really mean something if Triple H had wrestled more than twice in the last three years! I mean, come on, guys! He's essentially BEEN retired! Why should I care if he gets retired again?

I can't be bothered to remember the rest of the show, aside from the opening John Cena promo. The Prime Time Losers try to reinvent themselves, as Titus O'Neil is now playing an afro'd character named Uncle Rufus "Pancake" Patterson, which is pretty clever. This leads to Cena facing Darren Young, which pretty much consists of returning from the commercial with the match in progress and Cena hitting The Usual for the squash pin, with Young getting absolutely ZERO offense. Yup.

Plus, we advance the Undertaker/CM Punk feud slightly, as we see CM Punk on the Titantron handling the urn like a basketball, as we get the implication that Paul Bearer's ashes are in there. I can only wonder what this program would have looked like if Paul Bearer hadn't died?

That's all I got. Talk amongst yourselves.

Until next time!

(edited by It's False on 18.3.13 2038)


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Tenken347
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Since: 27.2.03
From: Parts Unknown

Since last post: 32 days
Last activity: 14 hours
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.60
Well, I got zero complaints about that del Rio/Rhodes match, and the triple threat for the IC title was pretty good, but the rest of that show was pretty much a pile of shit. I know I've complained about the booking on some past WrestleManias, but this year is pretty damn bad.
Spaceman Spiff
Knackwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: Philly Suburbs

Since last post: 1327 days
Last activity: 1 hour
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.43
I'm assuming Titus is taking cues from Clinton Portis (deadspin.com) with this Pancake Patterson personality.

Booker T in the HOF, awesome! "We're coming for you" ::video cuts away to something else::.

(edited by Spaceman Spiff on 18.3.13 2351)


JustinShapiro
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Since: 12.12.01

Since last post: 1755 days
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#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.79
Biggest news. Fandango's entrance is incredible and FANDANGO vs. JERICHO IS REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do it, HHH. Retire. Go out just like Shawn with two losses to the same guy. Build up Brock for next year's match with Rock. Do iiiiiiiit.

Undertaker and Punk are not getting it done. Undertaker's streak and Punk's promos are two of the sure things in wrestling and yet, nope. Shame on Paul Bearer for dying and ruining the build.

God, calm down, Hall of Fame. You've got two main eventers and everyone else would be a strong co-headliner any other year. Bruno, Foley, Backlund, and Trump all belong in NY I guess, but this doesn't seem like the right year for Booker or Trish even if Wrestlemania isn't going back to Toronto anytime soon and they make sure to induct a woman every year.

AJ redoing her summer spots is actually a cute use of random continuity for this random feud.

I'm glad I didn't go to this show. As I was last March.
Texas Kelly
Lap cheong








Since: 3.1.02
From: FOREST HILLS CONTROLS THE UNIVERSE

Since last post: 2358 days
Last activity: 1520 days
ICQ:  
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.55
Ladies and gentlemen, the following public service message is brought to you by your friends from D-Generation X, who would like to remind each and every one of you that if you're not down with that, we've got two words for you...

    Originally posted by JustinShapiro
    Bruno, Foley, Backlund, and Trump all belong in NY I guess, but this doesn't seem like the right year for Booker or Trish even if Wrestlemania isn't going back to Toronto anytime soon and they make sure to induct a woman every year.

What bugs me in particular is that they're flying Trish in for a HOF induction that probably should've been saved for the next WrestleMania in Toronto (and unjustly putting her in before Lita, who was the key performer in the transformation of the Divas from sexy models to sexy WRESTLERS, but that's a whole other discussion), and they're showing no inkling of USING HER AT WRESTLEMANIA. Yes, they can have pseudo-random in-ring appearances by C-list celebrities (Snooki, Maria Menounos), but they can't book THE BEST FEMALE WRESTLER THEY EVER HAD for a match. And not only are there a good deal of options for them to do so, but NONE of the dirt sheets are calling the E out on this, especially since we're this close to the first WM in over a decade without a women's match of some kind on the card. Now, if they asked Trish and were told no, that's one thing, but if that's the case, for Pete's sake say it already...

(Sorry for the rant. Just something of a lot of things that's been bugging me about how they've built this card up that kind of illustrates why I have no regrets about my decision to leave NYC during WrestleMania weekend for an Orlando mini-vacation...)

(edited by Texas Kelly on 19.3.13 0010)


e-mail me at texas (dot) kelly (at) gmailread a bunch of incoherent nonsense
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smark/net attack Advisory System is Elevatedsmark/net attack Advisory System Status is: Elevated
(Holds; June 18, 2006)
While the switch from Cena to RVD should alleviate some complaints, the inevitability of the belt's return to Cena (note where Summerslam is this year) and the poor initial showing by the new ECW are enough to keep the indicator where it is for now. The pieces are in place, though, especially on RAW, for improvements to be made to the IWC's psyche in the near future.
thecubsfan
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Since: 10.12.01
From: Aurora, IL

Since last post: 938 days
Last activity: 318 days
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.30

    they're showing no inkling of USING HER AT WRESTLEMANIA.


You know, Team Hell No is good, but they're in trouble against Big Zig with AJ at ringside causing trouble. If only there was some way they could counter her...

(alternate plan: giving Tensai the riot act for embarrassing the good name of T&A.)

(edited by thecubsfan on 18.3.13 2333)


thecubsfan.com - luchablog
SKLOKAZOID
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Since: 20.3.02
From: California

Since last post: 1683 days
Last activity: 812 days
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.38
    Originally posted by JustinShapiro

    Do it, HHH. Retire. Go out just like Shawn with two losses to the same guy. Build up Brock for next year's match with Rock. Do iiiiiiiit.

Oh, wow, this feud sucks. I mean, I guess their brawl a couple weeks back wasn't so bad, but this isn't quite at the level of a title match nor an Undertaker match in terms of WrestleMania anticipation. The only thing really meriting its main event status is the on-paper rarity of a Brock Lesnar match and the fact that HHH automatically means main event. It's so non-influential on everything else.

The only worthwhile thing they could do with this match is job out HHH to Lesnar, but I think adding the career-ending stipulation just further cements an HHH revenge victory. After all, he did already pseudo-retire after SummerSlam and there's no point in doing the same ending twice.

...But it's still the best ending, which I guess makes all of this pointless.


    Originally posted by JustinShapiro
    Undertaker and Punk are not getting it done. Undertaker's streak and Punk's promos are two of the sure things in wrestling and yet, nope. Shame on Paul Bearer for dying and ruining the build.

Yeah, I have to think that CM Punk had a legit shot at ending the streak before Bearer died. He's a safe investment for WWE. Thus far, isn't seriously injury prone, he's clean, he's young enough to have a few years ahead of him (knock on wood), and he's totally in control of his ring and mic work. Definitely a superstar who would be cemented by an Undertaker win that would make him a mega-star.

Also, if Undertaker is eyeing a retirement match at next year's Mania, losing this year would set up the fact that he's beatable going into next year's match. I think a Streak Match and a Retirement Match after losing could draw on their own merits alone without Undertaker being undefeated.

But man, Punk is going so full-on heel with the Bearer death that Undertaker almost has to win just like Rey had to win for Eddie. I mean, I guess there's still a chance Punk could win to MASSIVE heel heat, but it feels wrong to put him over at this point.

Still, when WrestleMania is actually live, all bets are off and it really comes down to the ringwork and Punk making us believe through ring psychology that he can really win the match.

    Originally posted by JustinShapiro
    God, calm down, Hall of Fame. You've got two main eventers and everyone else would be a strong co-headliner any other year. Bruno, Foley, Backlund, and Trump all belong in NY I guess, but this doesn't seem like the right year for Booker or Trish even if Wrestlemania isn't going back to Toronto anytime soon and they make sure to induct a woman every year.

Hey man, the tag team was called Harlem Heat. But yeah, not necessary, but not too distracting for me.

(edited by SKLOKAZOID on 18.3.13 2155)
graves9
Sujuk








Since: 19.2.10
From: Brooklyn NY

Since last post: 1680 days
Last activity: 1440 days
#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.22
I sure hope Booker thanks Skandar Akbar for paying for his mamas heart surgery twenty years ago in his hall of fame induction speech. I will think a lot less of him if he doesn't.
Chumpstain
Bockwurst








Since: 21.1.02
From: Canada

Since last post: 549 days
Last activity: 549 days
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.46
Someone needs to get through to Michael Cole and/or Jerry Lawler and tell them that treating the talent like jokes during a segment isn't productive. When you've got the Prime Time Players calling out John Cena, doing some silly things and getting a reaction from the crowd, burying them on commentary and talking about how painful it is to watch and listen to isn't doing anyone favours. It wasn't good last week when they did it to the Highlight Reel segment, it wasn't good last year when they did it to Foley's "This Is Your Life" bit.

There is potential someday for people like the PTP, Brad Maddox, 3MB, Zack Ryder and whoever else to make money for the company. In the case of Ryder he's already made a lot with merchandise sales. By running them down and insinuating they're wastes of space, not only do you hurt their chances of making the company money, but you might also encourage viewers to change the channel. Neither is a good outcome.

Both Cole and Lawler are on the Twitter. Maybe someone can tweet them and ask them why they do it? And if there's someone in the headset telling them to say it, haven't they been around long enough that they can say no? I mean, we had Cole tonight take the (presumably headset-fed) line attacking Obama during the Sandow match and turn it around to slam Congress instead. If he can stand up to Vince or Triple H to protect the President, why can't he stand up for washrags everywhere?
HMD
Andouille








Since: 8.6.02
From: Canada

Since last post: 2532 days
Last activity: 2532 days
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.73
    Originally posted by Texas Kelly
    What bugs me in particular is that they're flying Trish in for a HOF induction that probably should've been saved for the next WrestleMania in Toronto

If anything I think Trish's induction is a strong indicator they have no intention of coming back to Toronto for a Mania. Ever. Edge is retired, Christian, no matter how good a worker he is, is never going to be built for a significant Mania match and that's about it for significant Toronto connections. Vince changes booking around MSG crowd reactions but when it's Toronto (with essentially the same reactions), he responds by banishing TV tapings. And this is one of the largest cities in North America, one of the largest media markets...but spite comes first. Oh well. If this Mania was lined up for TO I'd probably be selling my ticket by now.

Booker is more than HOF worthy, but do they not want to save anyone for the future?

Watching Triple H beat up Paul Heyman reminded me of when Stephanie came back and cut that promo on how Heyman had never achieved anything in his entire life. Where did this entire family get the notion that being a bullying, insufferable, belligerent dick is somehow babyface gold?

Liked Zigs/Kofi. Best part of ADR/Cody was when the racists chanted U-S-A, presumably in support of Swagger. Triple threat, goodish. Wish Jericho could win a thing ever. Rock better bring his A Game because this just doesn't feel like Mania season. At all.





Quiet, Or Papa Spank!
Whattaburger
Boerewors








Since: 18.5.04
From: Badstreet USA

Since last post: 3391 days
Last activity: 3391 days
#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.04
    Originally posted by It's False
    Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

    Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

    Huh? Wha? I'm awake! I'm awake! But MAN, did that main event Triple H contract signing ever put me to sleep. Good lord, that was SO boring and even Heyman couldn't save it, because that crowd was BORED and their boredom was contagious.

    No holds barred...with Triple H's CAREER on the line!

    That's a totally shocking revelation that would really mean something if Triple H had wrestled more than twice in the last three years! I mean, come on, guys! He's essentially BEEN retired! Why should I care if he gets retired again?


It only works if they articulate—I mean really articulate—that this is it if HHH loses. No more "revenge matches"; no more grudge matches; no more DX; no more HHH as the Too-Cool-For-School version of Mr. McMahon—that's it, finished. HHH loses and sits at his desk in his corner office in lackluster Stamford, Connecticut, and scouts and signs new talent for the rest of his days.

They've pulled the curtain pretty far back in regard to HHH's status and relationships within the company, which makes it difficult for him to be seen as a sympathetic character because if he loses so what? He is still heir to the throne and most people understand this.

Wrestling in that ring will always be #1 for HHH, so that has to be taken away from him completely; otherwise, it's a bit ho-hum in my opinion.



This is all serious business.
CRZ
Big Brother
Administrator








Since: 9.12.01
From: ミネアポリス

Since last post: 17 days
Last activity: 8 days
ICQ:  
#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.45
Look at The Undertaker's new chyron!!!!!!



Not since WCW's The Giant have we had a man whose nom de graphic representation BREAKS THE VERY MOLD.

Here is a man who transcends brands.

A man who is most assuredly not on Twitter.

(Also, Kim tells me this is a very gay-friendly chyron - "it would have been better in pink," she said, but there's probably some prior rights to pink from Bret Hart to consider.)

Also, picking up on that thread from Smackdown, you know the one time they DON'T tell you how many nights it is until WrestleMania? Here in this graphic:



I'm still watching the IC match, so I'm sure I'll regret having sent this reply without waiting for the true main event of this program...but I'd also like to get some sleep soon...

(edited by CRZ on 19.3.13 0245)


Kevintripod
Knackwurst








Since: 11.5.03
From: Mount Pleasant, Pa.

Since last post: 14 days
Last activity: 3 days
#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.65
    Originally posted by Hogan's My Dad
    Wish Jericho could win a thing ever.



Jericho is the new Foley.


I'm with Shapiro. I'm also glad I didn't go to this show.







"You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life." - Winston Churchill
Kevintripod
Knackwurst








Since: 11.5.03
From: Mount Pleasant, Pa.

Since last post: 14 days
Last activity: 3 days
#14 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.65
    Originally posted by It's False
    No holds barred...with Triple H's CAREER on the line!

    That's a totally shocking revelation that would really mean something if Triple H had wrestled more than twice in the last three years! I mean, come on, guys! He's essentially BEEN retired! Why should I care if he gets retired again?



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"You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life." - Winston Churchill
BigDaddyLoco
Scrapple








Since: 2.1.02

Since last post: 318 days
Last activity: 318 days
#15 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.28
I like Fandango's girl, it will be a shame when they get around to embarrassing her just because.

lotjx
Scrapple








Since: 5.9.08

Since last post: 1672 days
Last activity: 1511 days
#16 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.12
Well, this build is everything I feared. Punk going straight classless Indy dick with Taker. Cena and HHH getting wins back they both don't deserve. Creative playing pick a name out the hat. On top of the fans getting behind Swagger since WWE views driving with drugs as no biggy unless you are not WWE home grown talent. Still having Jericho face a guy who refuses to wrestle and is now stale after three weeks. Its not like that triple threat was worth seeing again or give the secondary title a rub. Nah, let's do more bad comedy.



The Wee Baby Sheamus.Twitter: @realjoecarfley its a bit more toned down there. A bit.
Spiraling_Shape
Bierwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: PA

Since last post: 24 days
Last activity: 2 days
#17 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.47
Heyman goading and taunting and shouting "BROCK!!!" was of course the highlight of the ending segment.

Punk supposedly got hurt to some extent in his match with Kane last week, didn't work the weekend house shows, so good thing he's in a feud with someone who won't be wrestling til Mania and can spend the next few weeks hopefully healing and just trash talking. I loved his urn-jugglin' act. When was the last time a cuss word was bleeped like that on WWE TV? (even if it was obviously on purpose)

AJ vs. D-Bry & Kane actually makes great sense, continuity-wise...and Ziggles could still use that briefcase to give himself an even bigger Mania night...

    Originally posted by CRZ
    Here is a man who transcends brands.


HA! I said the same thing!

    Originally posted by JustinShapiro

      Originally posted by Mike Zeidler
      I find it hard to believe Jericho will ever pronounce his name correctly.

      Originally posted by SchippeWreck
      Fan-DAYN-go.


    god yes.

    FANJUNIOR
    FLAMINGO
    BOJANGLES
    VAN MANGO

    YOU WILL NEVER
    E-E-E-EVER
    HEAR YOUR NAME

    AGANE


You all win!!!



"Ice cream bars! Ice cream bars!" - RAW crowd, Boston, 7/11/11
Matt Tracker
Scrapple








Since: 8.5.03
From: North Carolina

Since last post: 112 days
Last activity: 5 days
#18 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.80
This show as a great build to a Judgement Day or Backlash. But a Mania? No.

Indicative of her stable's success, AJ distracts Kane and Bryan, and they still win. I don't see them losing at Mania either, but Ziggler and Bryan getting some ring time together will be good.

I like Punk. I like what he's doing here. I even like how old-school this angle is -- HE STOLE THE URN -- but it's so far all him. Taker just has to show up each week and let Punk do all the work.

Here's why Heyman's so good: He delivers his material in such a true monologue style that the crowd can't jump in with "what." And they were dying to.

Fandango was a death gimmick already. Fandango Who Never Wrestles is a vegetative state. That trick works better for someone we want to see in the ring, but casual fans (and me) aren't gonna demand he work a match when we have no reason to expect more than punches and a roll-up finisher --the standard new-heel moveset.



"To be the man, you gotta beat demands." -- The Lovely Mrs. Tracker
SchippeWreck
Banger








Since: 26.3.03
From: Glendale, CA

Since last post: 2096 days
Last activity: 167 days
#19 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.84
    Originally posted by CRZ
    Also, picking up on that thread from Smackdown, you know the one time they DON'T tell you how many nights it is until WrestleMania? Here in this graphic:



Dammit. Vince is trolling me.

(edited by CRZ on 19.3.13 1237)


"It's magic! We don't need to explain it!"
Amos Cochran
Lap cheong








Since: 28.8.09

Since last post: 3366 days
Last activity: 3366 days
#20 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.73
What the Hell was the point of booking Ryback in the six-man if the pay-off was VICKIE changing the match? It's the booking equivalent of watching someone trying to cut a steak with a spoon. They seem to have forgotten the most basic of motor functions.
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