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20.9.14 0114
The W - Pro Wrestling - Raw #1033 3-11-33 Bellabration
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JustinShapiro
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Since: 12.12.01
From: Pittsburgh, PA

Since last post: 3 days
Last activity: 54 min.
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.75
BELLAS
BELLAS
BELLAS
BELLAS
BELLAS

IF YA BELLALALALALALALALALOW

Complete gamechanger. Not sure what would be bigger for this industry, Bellas vs. Funkadactyls in the finals of a tournament for the WWE Divas Tag Team Titles, or Naomi turning on Cameron to become Fandango's Paisley.

Using Paul Bearer for heat honestly could've been a lot worse, and I thought it was going to be. I hope the Punk/Taker feud doesn't become "Punk has the urn!" instead of respect vs. the measuring stick, and the biggest villain vs. the ultimate force of justice. It's not his property.

    Originally posted by JustinShapiro
    Coincidentally, they started running Team Hell No vs. Team Zig E matches at the house shows. So maybe Jericho is just going to skip Wrestemania. Or Jericho vs. Wade Barrett, former NXT protege and heel with a, um, ton of momentum.


Yup. Hard not to see either feud as a very disappointing use of Ziggler and Jericho. Bryan vs AJ is fun, and it's funny that those two will go full circle from last Wrestlemania to this one, but there's no chance the PPV match will be as good (or as long) as Ziggler/Bryan tonight.

And whatever's going on with Jericho -- Cesaro lays out all three guys next week to make it a fourway? -- will be his most throwaway Mania program in twelve years.

Del Rio/Swagger should be the YouTube match.

Conversely, I think the Shield stuff and Ryback/Henry has been really good. Show, Sheamus, and Orton will come to learn that they need each other.
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BigDaddyLoco
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Since: 2.1.02

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#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.28
Jesus Christ, we need a recapper around here.

The Road to Wrestle Mania went straight into a ditch tonight.

This show was crap.

The one feud I was looking forward to Punk/Taker lost some of it's luster tonight. I don't know if it is because The Undertaker looked like a really old man every time he had to bend down, or the fact that I wasn't buying the fact that Punk is the type of guy who would shit on Paul Bearer tributes all night. I would have rather he dissed it once and then moved on to their original program.

I am not ready to sell my Brad Maddox stock just yet even if that was a dreadful performance. It's fun to have the WWE go to all this trouble to promote these movies and then laugh about how dumb their people look promoting them.

Mark Henry kneed the piss out of Kofi, there is my positive spin.

Why is it so hard to put together a good wrestling show?


Edit: Damn you Shapiro, your name wasn't glowing when I started this.



(edited by BigDaddyLoco on 11.3.13 2351)
It's False
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Since: 20.6.02
From: I am the Tag Team Champions!

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#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.37
Oops, I was in the middle of a writeup, so it's a good thing I caught this. Let's cut and paste...

It was Paul Bearer tribute night on Raw...in more ways than one.

Show started off with a Paul Bearer video package, followed by Undertaker's entrance. Undertaker approached a memorial urn in the middle of the ring and did his trademark pose, as the "In Memoriam" was posted on the Titantron. Had this been it, it would have been a really touching tribute, but this company just can't help itself and CM Punk comes out to turn this all into angle fodder. After Punk's promo, Kane comes out to avenge his father (the one he locked in a freezer last year), but Punk manages to escape. Vickie and Brad Maddox book Punk/Kane in a No DQ match for tonight.

Punk/Kane have an intense brawl that ends with Punk getting distracted by the GONG! Kane hits the chokeslam for the clean pin. Undertaker comes out again on the ramp. UT and Kane put that whole "buried alive" silliness behind them and pose together, as the "In Memoriam" was posted on the Titantron. Had this been it, it would have been a really touching tribute, but this goddamn company just can't help itself! Punk attacks Kane from behind with the urn and steals it, just to take things OLD SKOOL~! Show ends with Punk mocking UT and UT promising the slashing of throats.

As for the rest of the show?

Well, Chris Jericho had Miz and Wade Barrett on the Highlight Reel in a segment so freakin' terrible that Cole and Lawler openly buried it at one point. Brad Maddox came out to make the segment EVEN WORSE! I almost feel bad for the putz, because he was pretty obviously stumbling over his lines and Cole and Lawler just wouldn't stop making fun of him. It was really a mean-spirited kind of burial, but what else can I expect at this point?

Mark Henry killed Kofi Kingston dead, because Kofi doesn't matter anymore. Ryback destroyed Heath Slater and then Ryback and Henry decided to have a little fun by taking turns teeing off on Drew McIntyre. The gist looks to be that they're sizing each other up, but why do I feel like this could lead to a potentially kickass tag team? They're set to go on SmackDown and if you think that match is actually happening on Friday, I have some WWE stock I'd like you to invest in.

The New Age Outlaws were supposed to face the Rhodes Scholars, because there will be no Wrestlemania payday for the Scholars. But BROCK LESNAR CAME OUT AND DESTROYED THE OUTLAWS!!! Heyman accepts Triple H's challenge for Wrestlemania...on the condition that Brock picks the stipulation, which only gets revealed after Triple H signs the contract. I smell an "I Quit" match coming!

The Scholars weren't done for the night, though. They went backstage to hang out with Kaitlyn and reveal that THE BELLAS ARE BACK! I guess mainstream entertainment just wasn't ready for twin magic, was it? The Bellas antagonized Kaitlyn and GOD HELP US, THAT is going to be the Wrestlemania program for the Divas! Are they really in such dire straits that they need the fucking BELLAS to save the division? All apologies to Justin and Johnny O, of course.

I know when to admit I'm wrong and I admit I'm wrong on Fandango. This gimmick kinda rules it. And OF COURSE, the natural first feud for him is Brodus/Tensai. Once again, we're denied Fandango wrestling, as he's simply embarrassed by Tensai pronouncing his name wrong and the way Tensai tries to "donce".

Also, the Shield dominated! They destroyed Big Show after Show/Rollins got thrown out and destroyed Orton and Sheamus after they polished off the Scholars. The uneasy alliance of Sheamus, Orton, and a still-heel Show is an intriguing proposition for Wrestlemania.

Surprisingly very little Rock/Cena, aside from a video package.

On a last note, I did love Bryan/Dolph and Hell No/Zig-E should be fun, if that's where they're going. But why do I get the sense that we're still missing something...? Oh yeah, the TOKEN CELEBRITY MATCH! Somebody get Halle Berry on the phone and let's make this a six-person match! I hear David Otunga has her phone number.

(edited by It's False on 11.3.13 2054)



WE are the tag team champions!
John Orquiola
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Since: 28.2.02
From: Boston

Since last post: 83 days
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#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.45
Where are the I'M A PAUL BEARER GUY shirts?

Also, if Punk had kicked the urn into the crowd a la Snitsky did Lita's baby, that would have been one of the best RAW ending ever.

Paul Bearer's urned a rest.

BELLAS!

(edited by John Orquiola on 11.3.13 2053)


"Cody, I mustache you a question." - The Miz
Big Bad
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Since: 4.1.02
From: Dorchester, Ontario

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#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.46
So let me get this straight....when they're pushing Tensai as a major heel threat, they stick him in shiny red tights that make him look foolish. When they're pushing Tensai as a goofy, dancing comedy face, they put him in long tights and make him look like a badass.

Easy way to bump up Taker's streak: Fandango challenges him, guest ring announcer Donald Trump mispronounces his name, Fandango leaves in a huff, Taker wins by forfeit, tombstones Trump for kicks, then calls out Punk.

So Mania...
* Rock/Cena
* Taker/Punk
* HHH/Lesnar
* Del Rio/Swagger
* Ryback/Henry
* Shield/Orton & Sheamus & Show
* Maybe Cesaro gets involved and we get Jericho/Miz/Barrett/Cesaro in a fourway? Or, it's a tag team match where Jericho and Miz can win both belts if they win?
* Some combo of Hell No against Team Ziggler, though wouldn't Kaitlin be the logical third for Bryan/Kane rather than sticking her with the Bellas or presuming we won't actually see the spectacle of Halle Berry wrestle a match?

This still leaves the Rhodes Scholars, Rey/Sin Cara, Kofi/Truth, Brodus/Tensai and the Prime Time Players without a match, so they can have a tag team turmoil on the preshow.



"It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone." --- Bart Giamatti, on baseball
CruelAngel777
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Since: 7.4.02

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#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.02
The Bellas are back....sure why not? Goatface gets lonely on the road.

This show was mainly one big ass Wrestlemania commercial/movie trailer night! I wasn't paying full attention but I swear I saw Kane have a phone conversation with Halle Berry.

Mark Henry super knee was pretty funny. I couldn't help but think about Matt Striker's (years ago when he was still a commentator and wasn't SOL in this company) racist comment about how Mark Henry looked like Kofi, if Kofi had been run through a washer & Dryer while watching the match tonight.

"What's a Matt Striker?" you ask. Don't worry your pretty lil' head about it.

Raw is Bearer. It was unusual that the WWE forced William "Paul Bearer" Moody's actual death into this Punk v. Taker angle seeing as how the character Paul Bearer has been killed on screen several times. It was surreal, like the actor William Moody wasn't really dead at all and his death was a ruse. The line between real life mortality of a performer and using the tribute for the character portrayed by said performer was a little to blurred for me tonight and I would have preferred they not take this direction with the story at all.

Then again Punk didn't hit Kane with Paul's dead body, and what bigger tribute for Bearer then to be figuratively heading into the next Wrestlemania with Undertaker posthumously?



I believe in The Shield....
thecubsfan
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Since: 10.12.01
From: Aurora, IL

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#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.30

    I hope the Punk/Taker feud doesn't become "Punk has the urn!


You'll disagree when he melts it back down into the chain. Or maybe a nice tumbler to drink non-alcoholic drinks? All I know is CM Punk is now the best wrestler ever to steal the urn, a elite group of ne'er-do-wells and supreme fighting machines.

Announcers clearly hate Brad Maddox. Different strokes for different folks, but I'm not sure the point of using Maddox if they're just going the announcers are going to treat him as Mike Adamle horrible every time he appears. But I guess they have to keep him around because Vickie turned face at some point (in sorrow about her Brock signing backfiring?) and they need someone to make heel decisions? I dunno.

Weird how Cole kept insisting Kane was Undertaker's stepbrother, which wouldn't work unless Paul Bearer married Mother Undertaker sometime after her untimely demise. Or they just want to avoid touching on the whole adultery/burning the house down situation on such a sad day.

(edited by thecubsfan on 11.3.13 2348)


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ekedolphin
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Since: 12.1.02
From: Indianapolis, IN; now residing in Suffolk, VA

Since last post: 93 days
Last activity: 3 days
#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.19
(deleted by ekedolphin on 12.3.13 0540)
Hogan's My Dad
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Since: 8.6.02
From: Canada

Since last post: 17 hours
Last activity: 17 hours
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.73


Big Show looks like he aged 17 years since last week's RAW.

I am more and more disturbed by Big E Langston's lack of pants every week. He needs to tape up his thighs or something, just to appear less absurdly nude.

Kaitlyn is the least attractive diva in quite some time. And she doesn't really make up for it by being a good wrestler, or having charisma. Thus I welcome the return of the Bellas, who also cannot wrestle, but are at least hot.

Del Rio is even more of a heel now than when he was...y'know...a heel. He's doing Fabulous Rougeau promos. Fuck's sakes. It's really bad.

I've been watching old Adam West Batman shows from the 60s on Youtube. I think Seamus' promos are mostly inspired by Chief O'Hara's dialogue.

Wow. That Rock/Cena package was almost good enough to make me forget I don't want to see their match.



(edited by Hogan's My Dad on 12.3.13 0535)


Quiet, Or Papa Spank!
ekedolphin
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Since: 12.1.02
From: Indianapolis, IN; now residing in Suffolk, VA

Since last post: 93 days
Last activity: 3 days
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.19
(deleted by ekedolphin on 12.3.13 0541)
Tribal Prophet
Andouille








Since: 9.1.02
From: Winnipeg, MB, Canada

Since last post: 33 days
Last activity: 2 days
#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.80
    Originally posted by CruelAngel777
    The Bellas are back....sure why not? Goatface gets lonely on the road.



As does John Cena.

The Bella's back made my night. The Road to Wrestlemania began tonight!
dwaters
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Since: 16.10.02
From: Connecticut

Since last post: 5 days
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#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.24
Rhodes Scholars doing the DX schtick was my highlight.

"Oh, you weren't aware??...."
ekedolphin
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Since: 12.1.02
From: Indianapolis, IN; now residing in Suffolk, VA

Since last post: 93 days
Last activity: 3 days
#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.19
There are some instances in which Real Life Writes the Plot, and rightfully so. Wrestlers get injured, and even die, on occasion, and the storylines must be immediately changed so that the wheel can keep on turning.

With injuries, it's somewhat easy. You can kayfabe blame the injury on another wrestler who may not have had anything to do with it, and create a storyline where, upon returning from injury, he seeks revenge on said wrestler (e.g., Triple H vs. Chris Jericho at WrestleMania X8) or someone who talked smack about him while he was away (e.g., Edge vs. Jericho at WrestleMania XXVI). You can have him vacate the title he was currently holding or just won. (Batista, Edge and John Cena have all had to do this).

Writing someone out due to death is a little harder, and it's common internet lore that Benoit and Guerrero were both supposed to win world championships the night they died or thereabouts (Benoit, the ECW Title; Guerrero, the World Heavyweight Title). In Guerrero's case, he got two nights' worth of tributes on both RAW and SmackDown, and rightfully so. In Benoit's case, he got the RAW Tribute highlight show before they realized the full scope of his terrible crime, and obviously he didn't get one for SmackDown, and again, rightfully so.

Saying Benoit's name or showing photographs of him will probably be forever verboten in WWE (with the exception of collector edition DVD sets they obviously can't edit him out of, like the WrestleMania legacy sets or showing every Elimination Chamber match up to that point). And that's probably the way it should be. But WWE seemed intent on milking Eddie Guerrero's death for every ounce of storyline they could get out of it (I mean, granted he's a villain, but Randy Orton even said Guerrero was in Hell, for godsakes), and now they're gonna turn Punk/Undertaker, which is a match that could have stood on its own merits, into a freak show because of the untimely death of Paul Bearer.

And no doubt they would have done the same thing with Benoit's death, if not for the fact that it was a murder/suicide. That's all I'm really trying to say.

(edited by ekedolphin on 13.3.13 2236)

"I'm sorry, I'm not much of a hugger."
"Not yet you're not."
--Randy Orton and Daniel Bryan, SmackDown 1/18/13

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lotjx
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Since: 5.9.08

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#14 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.12
So much for the classy exit for Paul Bearer. Christ, this company and sometimes its wrestlers need to stop what they are doing and think. Bellas back is probably due to not having a divas matchup worht a time. I like Kaitlyn, because she is a bigger girl and her spear does look devastating. Team Dolph vs. Team Hell No is probably the least inspired booking this year. They both deserve so much better. I wonder if RVD is wondering why he got de-pushed while Jack Swagger who has a tenth of his talent is keeping his. I guess having an agent and a racial political angle on your side saves you.

Taker/Punk was my OMG match, now its oh...Taker is going to beat him and Punk still believes that territory shock stuff is good to use. Guess no one told him the territories are gone.



The Wee Baby Sheamus.Twitter: @realjoecarfley its a bit more toned down there. A bit.
Amos Cochran
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Since: 28.8.09

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#15 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.73
The indignation over their use of Paul Bearer's death is kind of staggering to me. They spent the whole show paying tribute to him and Punk didn't even take shots at Bearer himself - he just used UT and Kane's pain to goad them. It's the tamest "exploitation" I've ever seen.
Excalibur05
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Since: 19.1.02
From: Minnesota

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#16 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.97
I can't know it for a fact, but Paul Bearer came from such a weird, carny era for the wrestling business that he probably would've gotten a kick out of making one last appearance in an Undertaker angle last night.



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BigDaddyLoco
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Since: 2.1.02

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#17 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.28
There was nothing wrong with the way they handled Paul Bearer. An old timer like Greg Valentine might shave a year off his life to get a full night of tributes and some name dropping in WrestleMania. It wasn't like what they did with Eddie. Hopefully it is just a one night deal and we can get back to this feud should be about.

... Of course if he died in a different month he probably gets a screen shot.

(edited by BigDaddyLoco on 12.3.13 0907)
John Orquiola
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Since: 28.2.02
From: Boston

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#18 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.45
    Originally posted by Amos Cochran
    The indignation over their use of Paul Bearer's death is kind of staggering to me. They spent the whole show paying tribute to him and Punk didn't even take shots at Bearer himself - he just used UT and Kane's pain to goad them. It's the tamest "exploitation" I've ever seen.


Seriously. What was so offensive about the use of Paul Bearer? Were they all supposed to stand in front of the camera and cry and tell stories and write poems like they did for Owen? By all accounts from the people who actually KNEW Bill Moody, (Jim Ross and Mick Foley on Twitter for starters), he would have loved tonight's show.

Bill Moody was an epitome of sports entertainment. He spent the most famous part of his career portraying a cartoon character funeral director who lead a zombie with an urn and fathered a fiery monster. He was not some 'wrestling is serious business ROH ROH ROH WRESTLING IS ABOUT HONOR!' kind of guy. He was willingly and happily a part of some of the most ridiculous angles in WWE and by all accounts he loved the business that gave him worldwide fame and an amazing life. Bill Moody understood the pro wrestling business and WWE from the inside for decades in a way indignant smarks posting on message boards never, ever will.

I thought last night was a pretty fitting tribute to Paul Bearer and a fun walk down memory lane for Bearer, Undertaker and Kane moments. He probably would have loved Kane beating the former WWE Champion CM Punk in the main event of RAW to honor his father, while still using the fabled urn for setting up Punk's WrestleMania showdown with the Undertaker.



"Cody, I mustache you a question." - The Miz
BigDaddyLoco
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Since: 2.1.02

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#19 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.28
Also has anyone noticed that anything Chris Jericho gets involved in these days is terrible. He might get more free passes than anyone on the internet.
lotjx
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Since: 5.9.08

Since last post: 1 day
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#20 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.12
    Originally posted by John Orquiola
      Originally posted by Amos Cochran
      The indignation over their use of Paul Bearer's death is kind of staggering to me. They spent the whole show paying tribute to him and Punk didn't even take shots at Bearer himself - he just used UT and Kane's pain to goad them. It's the tamest "exploitation" I've ever seen.


    Seriously. What was so offensive about the use of Paul Bearer? Were they all supposed to stand in front of the camera and cry and tell stories and write poems like they did for Owen? By all accounts from the people who actually KNEW Bill Moody, (Jim Ross and Mick Foley on Twitter for starters), he would have loved tonight's show.

    Bill Moody was an epitome of sports entertainment. He spent the most famous part of his career portraying a cartoon character funeral director who lead a zombie with an urn and fathered a fiery monster. He was not some 'wrestling is serious business ROH ROH ROH WRESTLING IS ABOUT HONOR!' kind of guy. He was willingly and happily a part of some of the most ridiculous angles in WWE and by all accounts he loved the business that gave him worldwide fame and an amazing life. Bill Moody understood the pro wrestling business and WWE from the inside for decades in a way indignant smarks posting on message boards never, ever will.

    I thought last night was a pretty fitting tribute to Paul Bearer and a fun walk down memory lane for Bearer, Undertaker and Kane moments. He probably would have loved Kane beating the former WWE Champion CM Punk in the main event of RAW to honor his father, while still using the fabled urn for setting up Punk's WrestleMania showdown with the Undertaker.


I hate that slippery slop argument that he was in the business, so its OK to use his death to further our fake fighting show. Jim Ross is the biggest shill to walk the Earth. Foley is getting close. We, a we that includes everybody don't know what he wanted, because he is dead. I also doubt anyone's will says please use my death for your show to try to make Vince richer.

There is a shit ton of assuming. For all we know Paul could have thought Punk is a shit wrestler who only got over by breaking the fifth wall. A wall, he and others like him spent decades defending. We don't and neither does anyone else. Just play the classy video that was online and be done with it. Its not like it helped sell the natch anyway. Punk looked like a fool and now I am more annoyed than excited for this match. Considering how shitty this card looks that us not a good thing.

(edited by lotjx on 12.3.13 0908)


The Wee Baby Sheamus.Twitter: @realjoecarfley its a bit more toned down there. A bit.
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They can't screw up this Joey Mercury/Matt Hardy storyline, can they? It's so basic it has to work...old friends + legit injury + revenge...once Joey's healthy enough to come back, the singles feud culminates in MNM vs. Hardyz at WrestleMania I presume?
- Spiraling_Shape, 1/12/06 Smackdown Discussion thread (2007)
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