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1.10.14 0727
The W - Pro Wrestling - Raw #1016 11-12-12 (Jerry Lawler returns)
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It's False
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Since: 20.6.02
From: I am the Tag Team Champions!

Since last post: 2 days
Last activity: 16 hours
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.75
A combination of Jerry Lawler's return and a terrible Steelers/Chiefs game drew me to Raw. From the looks of it, I probably should have stuck to football.

Jerry Lawler made his triumphant return at the start of the second hour, delivering a welcome back promo. And this company wastes ZERO time turning this into an angle, as CM Punk and Paul Heyman interrupt and make fun of him. Punk even threatens to kill Lawler at one point. Classy. Then they turn the classy meter up to 11, as Paul Heyman pretends to have a heart attack inside the ring, with Punk throwing up the "X" sign!

And there's your winner for the 2012 WON Most Disgusting Promotional Tactic award! By a landslide!

So what did that awfulness lead to? Well, Mick Foley came out, even though he and Punk supposedly don't have a PPV program together anymore. Foley appoints himself the special enforcer for tonight's Cena/Punk match, because why not, this is America!

Ok...so how about the rest of the show?

Well, the angle between AJ, John Cena, Vickie Guerrero, and Dolph Ziggler continued with...OH MY GOD, I DON'T FUCKING CARE!!! I tuned the whole thing out and I guarantee you that NONE OF IT is designed to make you want to buy the PPV, which again begs the question, WHAT...IS...THE POINT???

In a far more amusing segment, Ryback destroyed Brad Maddox! And I mean DESTROYED him! Before the match, an ambulance rolled up to the ramp, with EMT's bringing up a stretcher. And then it was the Squashiest of Squashes that you'll ever Squash! Ryback just CREAMED him in an extended squash and kept the fun going post-match. Highlight of the beatdown was Ryback wiping out Maddox with the "KNOCK THE PISS OUT OF YOU!" lariat and yelling out "I...HIT...HARD!" BWAHAHAHAHA!!! I don't know why, but I just kept picturing Sloth from The Goonies. After toying with the guy, Ryback tosses the poor bastard into the ambulance and sends him on his merry way.

Also, Miz had his face turn tonight, because...um...yeah! It stemmed from a random backstage argument with Ziggler, so a passing Mick Foley put Miz into his Twitter Poll of Fun, with the winner getting the last slot on his team. Miz won out over Santino and Zack Ryder. Jesus, Ryder can't even win Twitter polls anymore! That's just pathetic!

That also led to Kane and Miz beating the Rhodes Scholars. Highlight of this was Daniel Bryan playing the jealous spurned partner. Miz wasted no time sliding into the babyface role and I already like him better as a face than a heel.

The main event saw an abbreviated Cena/Punk match. Punk tries to take a walk at the end, but Ryback chases him back to the ring, where Cena polishes him off clean with the Attitude Adjustment. That sound you hear is The E flushing money down the toilet. Nothing like Rising Above Hate on a throwaway edition of Raw and not on a PPV, where people would actually pay money and stuff! Show ends with Cena and Ryback playing tug-o-war with Punk's title.

That's all I got! I'm out this Sunday, so some other schmuck is going to need to start the PPV thread.

Take us home, CM Punk!




(edited by It's False on 12.11.12 2059)

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odessasteps
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Since: 2.1.02
From: MD, USA

Since last post: 105 days
Last activity: 72 days
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.85
Would anyone have really expected them not to make an angle out of Lawler's return?

Be thankful that, as far as I know, there was no reference to it being the anniversary of the Montreal Screwjob.

Edit: I thought I heard on Twitter that Regal had a match tonight. Was that incorrect?

(edited by odessasteps on 13.11.12 0032)


Mark Coale
Odessa Steps Magazine presents



RUSSIAN FLAG BURIAL - an examination of 1984 mid-south



It's False
Scrapple








Since: 20.6.02
From: I am the Tag Team Champions!

Since last post: 2 days
Last activity: 16 hours
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.75
    Originally posted by odessasteps
    Edit: I thought I heard on Twitter that Regal had a match tonight. Was that incorrect?

Big Show squashed Regal in about 60 seconds. After Sheamus beat David Otunga later in the night, Show beat up Regal some more in the back. Sheamus was upset by this, because he and Regal are now friends...for some reason.



odessasteps
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Since: 2.1.02
From: MD, USA

Since last post: 105 days
Last activity: 72 days
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.85

They tagged on the European tour last week. I guess they figured Regal would be cheered, so might as well make him a face and team him with the Irish guy.



Mark Coale
Odessa Steps Magazine presents



RUSSIAN FLAG BURIAL - an examination of 1984 mid-south



Tenken347
Boudin blanc








Since: 27.2.03
From: Parts Unknown

Since last post: 2 days
Last activity: 10 min.
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.17
    Originally posted by It's False

    Well, the angle between AJ, John Cena, Vickie Guerrero, and Dolph Ziggler continued with...OH MY GOD, I DON'T FUCKING CARE!!! I tuned the whole thing out and I guarantee you that NONE OF IT is designed to make you want to buy the PPV, which again begs the question, WHAT...IS...THE POINT???



THANK YOU. This angle is death, and having aborted the Cena/Dolph match in favor of the title three-way, it doesn't make any sense to even do it. It's awful AND baffling.

The only thing I really liked last night was the Miz's face turn. It's been a slow burn since he lost his title to Kofi, and I thought it made sense that he's looking to make a change to turn his career around. It's also just exciting because Miz hasn't played a face in forever, and I want to see what he can do with it.
John Orquiola
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Since: 28.2.02
From: Boston

Since last post: 94 days
Last activity: 94 days
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.34
AJ looked really hot last night. Like, ridiculously hot.

Thank God Punk was there to save Paul Heyman's life. So many heart attacks on RAW. At least Punk was there to avert another tragedy.

That's all I got.

#LearnCPR



@CMPunk
“@ZackRyder: @CMPunk She played me bro” I got your back.
lotjx
Scrapple








Since: 5.9.08

Since last post: 22 hours
Last activity: 10 hours
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.45
As bad as the Steelers game was, I still decided to watch the Kansas City, we haven't lead in any game, Chiefs wreck the Steelers in the first quarter than participate in another classless WWE segment. I really thought Punk would veto something like this, but I wonder if it appeals to his fantasy of territory days of blurring the line and blah, blah, blah. Well, there are a few reasons there are no territories anymore and doing a little too close to home storylines is one of them. Looking at you Von Erichs.

I did see AJ's voice mail and realized that Vince is a genius. What everyone guy in WWE's demographic wants is a Glee storyline right before football. I have no idea where they are going with all of this and I don't care.

(edited by lotjx on 13.11.12 0711)


The Wee Baby Sheamus.Twitter: @realjoecarfley its a bit more toned down there. A bit.
Reverend J Shaft
Liverwurst








Since: 25.6.03
From: Home of The Big House

Since last post: 2 days
Last activity: 18 hours
#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.11
Haha! WWE.com is internet-aware and self-trolling now, apparently.

    Originally posted by WWE.com
    The fracas then brought out Teddy Long, who, looking spiffy in his red suit, restored order to the chaos in his own, time-honored manner on behalf of Managing Supervisor Vickie Guerrero: The contest would be restarted as a (you guessed it) tag team match.

    Holla!
John Orquiola
Scrapple








Since: 28.2.02
From: Boston

Since last post: 94 days
Last activity: 94 days
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.34
    Originally posted by It's False
    as Paul Heyman pretends to have a heart attack inside the ring, with Punk throwing up the "X" sign!


The best part of all that, and Punk's CPR tweets later, are 1)Despite Punk throwing up the X sign, no medical personnel came out from the back. So either, in the context of kayfabe, no one believed Heyman was having a heart attack or even if they did, they just didn't care about Paul Heyman to investigate. And 2) Punk didn't even try the mouth to mouth part of CPR.



@CMPunk
“@ZackRyder: @CMPunk She played me bro” I got your back.
JimBob Skeeter
Bratwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: MN

Since last post: 23 hours
Last activity: 1 hour
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.97
When Vicki started playing the third vm, I walked away. Haven't been that annoyed with my wrasslin' in a LONG time. AJ: "How'd you do that?!?!?!?" Seriously? Technology. We have it. Shoot me now.

I! Hit! Hard! Loved. It. After the match when Ryback was beating the hell out of Maddox outside, I was waiting for the ref to come in and try and break it up leading to a match reversal and Million Dollar Maddox would have been born. Instead: Meatwagon.

Punk looked like such a pansy at the end between Ryback and Cena when they each had one end of the belt. "Hey, that's mine! Can I have it please?" I LOVE the Flairesque heel stuff Punk has been doing, but I don't remember Ric ever doing that.

That 8 man tag was great. The crowd ate that up! Here's to tag team wrestling!

Speaking of that, Miz looked like he was honestly to God amazed at the reaction he was getting. MIZ IS AWESOME, INDEED~! Cole jumped track on Miz pretty fast, too.


Why couldn't they at least have had JR stay out there for the second hour, then officially hand the reigns over before the third hour? Bullshit.

(edited by JimBob Skeeter on 13.11.12 0749)
CruelAngel777
Frankfurter








Since: 7.4.02

Since last post: 22 hours
Last activity: 5 hours
#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.81
That Vickie/Aj angle made RAW seem like 4 hours last night. If Creative thinks pairing AJ with Cena and teasing a romance between the two is gonna magically get a majority face reaction for Cena they got a long road ahead of them, and have been given bad directions. Also it's always bothered me that Creative feels she needs to have some love interest/storyline to get over. Can't she just go crazy on Divas without it involving some dude?

My boy D-Bry is an odd bird. First of all his beard is ridiculously awesome. Then last night we saw him turn into a fussy toddler which would of been eye-rollingly bad had anyone else tried it. Maybe I'm becoming easily amused by Bryan but he is the one shining spot on these 5 hour RAW tapings.

I strongly believe that Magical Foley Twitter poll was heavily doctored. Miz jobs most of the year, continues to annoy fans, then he decides to back Foley a half hour ahead and gets picked to join Team Foley at SurSer by a landslide? I call shenanigans, weeee little shenanigans. Though I'm intrigued by Face Miz as I don't think he's been a face at any time during his entire WWE career.

The Punk dissing Lawler segment was funny for one reason only. The reaction of the guys behind Lawler. I remember one of the troops and a bearded guy having the most hilarious looks of shock I've seen since Miz Girl. Then there was another guy wearing a CM Punk shirt that looked so uncomfortable during the whole thing. Maybe I'm sick but that was hilarious to me.

Wasn't Heyman supposed to fix the situation with Maddox and Punk's matches last night? Did I miss him doing anything about them?

No 3MB last night in a 8 hour RAW? I guess we just HAD to put more time to AJ and Vickie.
kentish
Andouille








Since: 19.8.05
From: My Old Kentucky Home

Since last post: 14 days
Last activity: 16 hours
#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.50
How big of a loser is Ziggler? Just push the guy, or have him lose the case! If you treat him like a jobber (and they are) and then he wins the belt, why would anyone take him seriously? Him being involved in the AJ/Cena mess isn’t doing him (or anyone else) any favors either.

They sucked any excitement out of the Miz turn by having a ridiculous poll to determine the 5th member. Remember when Cena first turned face prior to the 2003 Survivor Series, and it was a surprise? This was not that. Does this company just not know how to get behind anyone anymore? Even Ryback looked like a jerk for nearly killing that kid.

I just can't stop watching, even zooming through it on DVR. What is wrong with me?
Dr Unlikely
Frankfurter








Since: 2.1.02

Since last post: 23 hours
Last activity: 10 hours
AIM:  
#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.30
"Jerry Lawler was dead! He was dead! He was dead!"

Gotta say, considering how hard they hit the Lawler dying button, I was disappointed that they didn't have Ryback actually kill Maddox, only to have a concerned Lawler lay hands on him and heal him. This would set up a huge angle with Jerry Lawler as a mystical faith healer with Heyman and, I don't know, let's say Brother Love and Paul Bearer, trying to exploit him for his powers vs. a returning Shawn Michaels and, I dunno, let's say the Undertaker, trying to stop Lawler from abusing said magical gifts.

Keep in mind I also would have booked this angle with Crush and his heart punch.

Am I crazy, or did they just straight up re-do the ending on the fly to get the last shot right? Cena and Ryback both grab the title, Punk jumps up and kinda reaches for it, then drops off the apron back to the ground and they both drop the title. Then, seconds later, Cena and Ryback both grab the title again, Punk leaps right back up onto the apron and this time the camera is in better position to get Punk right in the middle making that (intentionally) awesome, pathetic face.

If I can fantasy direct for a moment, I would have had Cena go to pick up the title, only to have Ryback step on it, with a shocked Cena looking up at him and Punk still making his face in the background from the floor.

I'll say again, Punk is doing a great job at a thing I otherwise have zero interest in watching at this time. I hate the direction, but the guy reliably entertains in spite of my growing disinterest in the product itself.

I think the only other thing I actively enjoyed on the show was the beat Maddox hit when he broke stride on the ramp as the ambulance came out, suddenly realizing that he was going to die. Between that and the earlier bit in the back where he gave the sad interview about his upcoming murder that turned immediately into him claiming that no, he would never get comeuppance, I kinda liked the Brad Maddox character of last night's Raw, so I assume we will never, ever see him again.
It's False
Scrapple








Since: 20.6.02
From: I am the Tag Team Champions!

Since last post: 2 days
Last activity: 16 hours
#14 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.74
    Originally posted by Reverend J Shaft
    Haha! WWE.com is internet-aware and self-trolling now, apparently.

      Originally posted by WWE.com
      The fracas then brought out Teddy Long, who, looking spiffy in his red suit, restored order to the chaos in his own, time-honored manner on behalf of Managing Supervisor Vickie Guerrero: The contest would be restarted as a (you guessed it) tag team match.

      Holla!


I can't help but wonder if The E's own official Raw recapper is just as tired of these old tropes as we are?



JustinShapiro
Scrapple
Moderator








Since: 12.12.01
From: Pittsburgh, PA

Since last post: 10 hours
Last activity: 1 hour
#15 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.73
    Originally posted by JustinShapiro
    Brad Maddox getting a million dollar contract by beating Ryback by DQ when Punk comes in and hits Maddox would be huge easy heat for a long time, but Ryback will just kill him because putting heat on heels is for hot coals.


Reverse the decision for excessive beating down, you jerk ref. I guess that's what happens when you disrespect the stripes. :(

(edited by JustinShapiro on 13.11.12 1427)
InVerse
Bierwurst








Since: 26.8.02

Since last post: 8 days
Last activity: 28 min.
#16 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.95
    Originally posted by John Orquiola
    And 2) Punk didn't even try the mouth to mouth part of CPR.


It has actually been determined that the mouth-to-mouth portion of CPR is ineffective. It was removed from the rules of CPR a few years ago and the American Heart Association no longer recommends using it.
Big Bad
Scrapple








Since: 4.1.02
From: Dorchester, Ontario

Since last post: 19 hours
Last activity: 5 hours
#17 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.69
Drew McIntyre has been caring for his critically-ill mother, so I'd presume that's why we didn't get any more 3MB this week. (And why Slater and Jinder were a 2MB last week on Raw.)

    Originally posted by Reverend J Shaft
      Originally posted by WWE.com
      The fracas then brought out Teddy Long, who, looking spiffy in his red suit, restored order to the chaos in his own, time-honored manner on behalf of Managing Supervisor Vickie Guerrero: The contest would be restarted as a (you guessed it) tag team match.

      Holla!



As one WithLeather commenter put it, "Whenever I'm arguing with my three roommates, I kind of wish the doorbell would ring and Teddy Long would show up."



"It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone." --- Bart Giamatti, on baseball
SchippeWreck
Banger








Since: 26.3.03
From: Glendale, CA

Since last post: 16 days
Last activity: 12 hours
#18 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.84
    Originally posted by Dr Unlikely
    I kinda liked the Brad Maddox character of last night's Raw, so I assume we will never, ever see him again.

I wouldn't mind seeing Maddox go against incrementally weaker opponents each week, in order to win incrementally smaller contracts.



"It's magic! We don't need to explain it!"
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