Why won't they wake up? Are they narcoleptic? It's Raw, live from "Mohegan Sun", in Terrhaute, Conn., and a Fashion Report, too!
Kane, in black tights with red stripes, under the towell, vs. Rosie, in neon green/purple shorts, grey "Super Hero In Training" tshirt, orange shirt and tights, with purple mask and Hurricane beach-towell. According to JR, Kane is "uncontrolable" and "out of control". But, really, he's mostly in control of the match. Chokeslam to a pin for Kane. An average match. Post-match, Hurricane, in neon-green/black "H" suit, comes out to take his beating. Then Shane (the money), in blue patterned shirt and jeans, gets some shots in and runs away.
In the back, Kane storms into the production truck. Yeah, use the woman as a shield! Shane hides in a limo, but Kane gets a pipe and crawls-in after him. Automotive hijinx ensue.
King, in "Stunner Inc." jersey, and JR, in black hat and "WW" shirt, are cut-off by Adbreak.
In the back, with FOOTAGE!, see the wreck and a bloodied body. I bet whoever parked that truck there has a really red face now. Firefighters arrive to use the JAWS. Austin is held back.
Gail, in red trenchcoat, red bikini top and lace-up skimpy shorts, with Molly joining commentary, vs. Lita, in black winged "Lita" tanktop, green shorts with black pockets, and red armwraps. How can they let Lita wrestle with that studded wrist-band? That's kinda like a weapon. DDT to a pin for Lita. A nice match; I tuned-out the announcers.
In the back, cops arrive. Bischoff is held back.
Via FOOTAGE!, HHH cuts the "evil mastermind"-style promo.
In the back, HBK walks to Austin's office. Yeah, Shawn, Mark Henry already has a match - didn't you watch last week's show?
Steiner, in chainmail and black "Freakzilla" tights, with Stacie, in black top, blue skirt, and net-pattern stockings. Steiner gives the ol' bad-guy promo. Bisch, in black leather jacket, black shirt, and blue jeans, is out; he promises to book a match....
Steiner vs. Spike, in media res. Oh, screw the match - in the back, Kane is being hauled off. Stacie looks distraught; pale, actually. Prolonged squash. Post-match beatdown. Bubba and DVon come to help their bro. Test drags Stacie away.
In the back, Rob and La Resistance try to take-down Goldberg, but he makes them job. Love the cardboard-box blind.
In the back, Bischoff blames Austin.
Jericho, in red sparkly "Jericho" silhoutte shirt, and black "Jericho" tights, with Christian!, in orange tights with black "C"s on white crests, Lance Storm, in red undies, and Coach, in black "WW" shirt, backwards cap, and black jeans. Jericho blames Austin. Coach blames Austin. Christian!, with FOOTAGE!, blames Austin. Storm likes Austin; for that he gets a beating. But Austin, in black sleeveless "F0CK Fear" tshirt, jean shorts, and kneebraces, is out. Then Rob is out (to remind us he's still around). Austin blabs. Not that THEY'd try to push the "CLB" thing down our throats. Oh, and Austin books a match for RIGHT NOW - Chrisitan! and Jericho vs. Lance and Rob, in black "RVD" singlet with perched dracolich and ying-yangs. Screw the match, let's have us an Adbreak! (JR says "right now" just as we fade-out; love the production!) We return and, of course, the match is in mediea res. Dropkick to a pin for Lance. A nice match.
Let's see the FOOTAGE! of the Kane/Shane/limo/truck segment, AGAIN! Gosh, good thing they had all those cameras around the back, for NO APPARANT REASON. JR has "never seen something like this" in his 20-something years (except for the NWO/Rock bit, the Austin/HHH/forklift bit, Austin getting run-over, etc.).
In the back, Terri interviews Mark Henry, but Teddy Long talks. And Rodney Mack stands around. OOO - closeup!
Also in the back, Randy and Flair are, well, walking.
Randy, in black "Randy" undies with red/silver hip bolts, and Flair, in blue "Nature Boy" robe with silver sequins, and red undies thereunder, vs. Jindrak, in black "Jindrak" undies, and Cade, in blue undies. RKO, and Flair rolls into the pin. A nice match.
Pimp The Rock and "The Rundown". Standard fare.
In the back, Maven and Trish walk into Flair and Randy. Maven and Flair talk smack - next week it's a date. Yes, "More championships than you've had women."
Stevie, in pink "Stevie Night Heat" fullcuts, and Victoria, in tassled black top and black pants, vs. Maven, in black "M" fullcuts, and Trish, in sparkly black slit-coat, black v-neck and bellbottoms. I didn't pay attention - oops.
Mark Henry, in white bodysuit, with red slashes, w. out Mack, vs. Goldberg, in black fullcuts with white trim and barbedwire butt, carrying the belt. It's already 10 PM. Charles Robinson is in the stropes. A power-based match. Mack with a chair leads to Goldberg by DQ. An average match. Shawn is out to eat a stray spear. Post-match jackhammer (and he still goes for a pin - ha! - such instinct).
Overall: Really, a "blah" show; it wasn't bad, wasn't good - it just was THERE for two hours. What was up with the Adbreak placement? The camera shots were all over the place - like the producers just wanted to flip around every few seconds, rather than stick with one. Honestly, WWE, maybe it's time you TAPE the show so you can edit crap like this out. Tonight really didn't feel like much, and I place a deal of the blame for that on the poor pacing and production.
Show was just there for me, too, although I will say that those stockings did incredible things for Stacy. Best I've ever seen her look.
Sometimes I ask myself why I watch WWE after all the crap it's given me. HLA, necro, HHH, and so on. And then it hits me. That one simple phrase that can be modified and used for anything that gets you down, yet makes you keep coming back.
Every episode has the potential to be the best one ever, and I'll be damned if I'm going to miss it after sitting through this shit.
The Kane/Rosie/Hurricane segment accomplished what it was supposed to....Shane outsmarts Kane again. Here's my surprised look....Gail/Lita was okay, though it looked like their timing was off a couple times. Lita's dancing is on par with Shane-O-Mac's....More Triple H!!....I never thought I'd see Shawn Michaels demanding a match against Mark Friggin Henry....Steiner v.s Spike was a Heat-worthy squash. So they built up Test/Steiner feud for 5 months only to have them..form a tag team? Who's idea of a joke is this?.... Nice to see them mention the RVD/Christian match from last week AN HOUR into the show....I was wondering why Storm was out there with the rest of the anti-Austin squad. And no mention of Goldust???....Nice match, though....Was Mark Henry looking at a teleprompter during that interview? Sure didn't look like he was looking at the camera....The Green Monkeys (TM Legends of the Hidden Temple) v.s Flair/Orton was okay, except no one cares about Cade/Jindrak. I love when Flair fakes going after someone in the crowd....Stevie/Victoria v.s Maven/Trish was average....Henry v.s Goldberg was the abomination I expected. So next week is it Michaels/Goldberg v.s Henry/Mack with a Michaels turn or a straight Michaels v.s Goldberg match?
A complete waste of a first segment as Rosey and Hurricane are Kane fodder. Then we get a car crash. That was a pretty convoluted trap. The WWE automobile fetish is getting old as in "1998 called and they're sick of you" old.
Not a bad match between Lita and Gail. Not a lot of polish, but Lita busts out a Protobomb, and almost busts out of the t-shirt. Left brain=me likey the outfit! Right brain=spinning backdrop bomb! Gail looked great too. Fashionwise, that is.
Man, you knew Steiner was gonna be fed Spike Dudley. What an auto-pilot booking. Blah.
Nice tag matches tonight. I'm impressed with Orton, Cade and Jindrak more and more.
Maven is indeed using the leaping tornado neckbreaker as his finisher, and it hit cleaner tonight than it did last week. I look forward to his match with Flair, and I hope it gets ten minutes to develop. Flair, as ever, was genius tonight.
And I'll admit, I thought they did a great job selling Henry as a beast tonight. The presentation of the match was pitch-perfect. Mark, however, was visibly indecisive, going to the Rock Bottom and turnbuckles too often. But dig that Chocolate Mousse, baby!
A great show? No, the car crash took too much emphasis and Lawler's attempt to make JR admit his happiness at Kane's injuries was just ... weird. Why shouldn't JR snicker a bit at karmic (car-mic?) balance? And how can Ross flatly delcare it's wrong to hit a woman when he's cheered men tossing around a "jezebel" from time to time?
"To be the man, you gotta beat demands." -- The Lovely Mrs. Tracker
Well, the Chocolate Mousse is now apparently called the Take That, which is, impossibly enough, an even lamer name.
Pretty meh show. Nothing horribly offensive, unless you count Shane sending Kane out with a stretcher job, but nothing really stand-out either.
"I do have a degree in electrical engineering... from almost 20 years ago. Punchcard systems were just becoming obsolete, we had rotary phones in the dorms, and a modem was still a gizmo the size of a shoebox into which you squooshed the phone receiver itself. In short, we lived like animals.
The instant obsolesence is why I became a writer. The rate of punctuation in a sentence doesn't double every 18 friggin' months, and you never have some 22-year-old looming over your shoulder, shaking his head, saying "dude... you're still using adverbs...?"
Originally posted by geemoneyThe Green Monkeys (TM Legends of the Hidden Temple)[endquote]
I thought I was the only one here who remembered that show! God, that was so good back when I was 7. I wondered why they cancelled it...until I saw it about 6 motnhs ago. Now it's on Nick GAS every other hour it seems.
(edited by gugs on 7.10.03 0028) Sometimes I ask myself why I watch WWE after all the crap it's given me. HLA, necro, HHH, and so on. And then it hits me. That one simple phrase that can be modified and used for anything that gets you down, yet makes you keep coming back.
Every episode has the potential to be the best one ever, and I'll be damned if I'm going to miss it after sitting through this shit.
I missed most of Raw due to the Sox game, but I caught the Jericho/Christian vs. RVD/Storm match (sweet) and the Kane car crash (God, I hate Shane right now- Kane should be wrestling... a wrestler, for fucksake).
Inquiring minds want to know... Why is Lawler wearing a Stone Cold shirt when he's talking shit about him?
That car crash was pretty cool looking all things considered. I think this one and the Rock/Hogan one were both examples of how to correctly book a car crash, whereas the HHH is Lazarus death fall from Survivor Series or whatever that was was the bad example. The show was a little eh from when I started watching it, but it wasn't bad or anything.
Caped Boy: Excuse me, ladies. You may remember me as the guy who came to dinner a few weeks ago with underwear on my head. My name is Keith Stat from Milbourne, New Jersey. State bird, the mosquito. And as you may have heard I am recently a crowned class B dungeon-master. So if any of you would like to play D&D today, please speak now or forever hold your peace. [He chuckles, and there is an awkward silence at the table.] Caped Boy: Anyone? Alexa! [Alexa gives him a withering glare.] Caped Boy: Maybe you would like to join in? We do need a druid, and you have definitely cast a level 5 charm spell on me. Alexa: In your dreams, douche-bag! Caped Boy: Douche-bags are hygienic products, I take that as a compliment. Thank you. [Keith walks off] Alexa: Ewww!
First Molly shoves paper in Lita's mouth, then HHH shows up with the briefcase o' money, now "like a famous man said, everybody's got a price".....am I the only one REALLY holding out hope for a Dibiase return?
Anybody can kick people's asses. But it takes a true monster to kick people's asses AND breastfeed at the same time - Excalibur05
I really didn't like how they mocked and trivialized something so serious as a car accident by making it an angle. Perhaps with Dan Snyder's death still so fresh, this came off worse to me then it would have normally.
Car crashes, pits of fire, torching people, jumper cables, 30 foot drops, am I the only one who sees how this undermines the entire product? It's just like how hardcore matches became so common place that no one bought a single chairshot as anything serious.
Triple H trying to act in his pretapes is great. He so thinks he has it but he's so unnatural at it.
On the bright side, perhaps we'll get a Chris Jericho vs Lance Storm singles match on RAW next week?
I thought the Mark Henry thing should've been a one off deal. If I were Shawn Michaels with his back, I don't think I'd want to be working Goldberg. (Remember his "Be Careful" thing at SummerSlam).
A closing thought, after October 25th, can we fill the McMahon RAW Quota with Triple H and get rid of Shane? Yeah, that's right, I WANT TRIPLE H ... instead of Shane McMahon.
I got a "meh" feeling from this show primarily because of the pacing. Not just the adbreaks, but rather, the order of the matches. In my mind, the best shows give you a strong opening to get you interested (which the Kane/Shane debacle at least attempted) then you start small and gradually build the show, starting with the jobber matches and ending with the big hits; that way, when the main event comes, you've built up the audience's interest, and they're more hyped than ever.
So here we have RAW, prefacing the main event with Stevie Richards, Victoria, Maven and Trish.
If they want to build the ratings, they've gotta start putting some worthwhile material out there. What did we have this week?
-Kane vs. Rosey: Predicting this is not what one would call a stretch of the imagination. -Kane vs. Shane: Kane takes something unhuman, Kane comes back in a week or two, Kane eventually beats up Shane. We *just* did this. -Gail vs. Lita: I like the exposure for the women--but it's not gonna bring in an audience. -Steiner vs. Spike: See Kane vs. Rosey; as to setting up Steiner/Test vs. the Dudleyz--come on. Presuming they feud--where the hell do you go from there? RAW does not have a tag division. -Jericho/Christian vs. Lance/RVD: So basically, the same amalgamation of wrestlers with Storm thrown in. I liked the match, sure--but why should any casual viewer care? The feud doesn't stand out, and they're not doing anything to change this. -Evolution vs. Idaho Potatoes: Riiiiiiiiight. -Stevie/Victoria vs. Maven/Trish: We've *just* established that Maven will be starting with Flair. Logically, one would imagine that should factor into this match. Instead, we get...nothing. -Goldberg vs. Henry: They did a decent job of building Henry as a monster--but as the guy who's going to dethrone Goldberg, *one week* after the cash announcement? It's not believable. The weak-assed ending didn't help matters either. Goldberg vs. Michaels? I'm keeping an open mind.
My point is, regardless of whether or not you like the product, the inarguable point is that something needs to be shaken up if they're going to hold their audience, let alone draw in a new one. Instead, we get filler. This is a two-hour block of primetime, and there are a million things that they could be doing with their wonderfully talented roster.
So why are we getting so much disposable wrestling? Giving the show the benefit of the doubt, HALF of it did next to nothing to really spark interest in any given storyline. It's a matter of what they COULD be doing. Why just throw Cade and Jindrak out there, sans personality, motive or angle? Why not at least give them a reason--even something as simple as "we're looking to prove ourselves" is better than NOTHING.
Instead, we're coasting, despite that we're gradually sinking into the water.
All rants aside, however, there is one thing that bothers me: what the hell is it with all the extreme close-ups of Mark Henry's face? It's not like he's a particularly attractive or even expressive guy; why must we be forced mere centimeters away from his nasal sweat?
The limo wreck was silly for me because I couldn't figure out where Kane could have possibly been all the time that it took Shane to wedge the board, fire up the car, put it in gear, and send it towards doom...unless he supposedly bopped Kane with the board inside first, but that doesn't seem plausable either. Of course, "plausable" would have to apply to three cameras being pre-set to catch the crash in the first place.
I did like the several segments they did returning for updates through the show. I also liked how Lawler called JR on the crash being an "accident"...the first time. It got annoying after that.
Hurricane comes out to make the save for Rosey! Even though Rosey had already cleanly lost and had rolled out of the ring and the only thing going on was Kane getting ready to fire off his pyro...
Flair gets one of the best lines of the year: "I've had more World Championships than you've had women!" That was AWESOME.
I popped for HHH using "Everybody has a price".
I loved the Lance Storm stuff and the fact they used him in a match as well as they did (for once). I really enjoyed the tag match. I also enjoyed the mixed tag, the Evolution match, and Lita/Gail. In fact, it felt like there was more time devoted to actual matches tonight, especially in the second hour.
Originally posted by Matt Tracker>Not a bad match between Lita and Gail. Not a lot of polish, but Lita busts out a Protobomb, and almost busts out of the t-shirt. Left brain=me likey the outfit! Right brain=spinning backdrop bomb! Gail looked great too. Fashionwise, that is.
Actually I think she's going for Kikuchi's Fireball bomb, and I seem to remember her doing it a handful of times before the injury. on one hand working smarter, on the other still a long way to go...gotta sell the neck more...although that messed up facecrusher or whatever could have sent her back to the shelf.
Was it Dropkick night or something?
and why should an 18-wheeler faze Kane? And why do I think he'll be back in time for Halloween anyway?
Rough night for Kane. Not too bad a match with Young Roosevelt, but then Hurricane & Shane conspire to keep him from getting his pyro off. Then he gets squashed in a limousine. I thought the game of hide & seek through the limo was pretty fun though. :-)
They really did go all out with the limo crash. We complained about how hokey the effects were when Kane set JR on fire. They definitely stepped it up with the flaming dumpster effect, & then tonight, sacrificed what seemed to be a perfectly good stretch limo. Then they went to a lot of trouble to show the extrication from the wreckage. I thought it was pretty cool.
Lawler kept saying to JR, "After what just happened, I don't know how you can call this match." And I kept chanting back at the TV, "But he's not calling the match!" Since we're back to JR/Lawler, at least they're making an effort to have them do something interesting with the insinuation of a Lawler heel shift. (Don't know that it's going to help, but at least it's different.)
"... Gold. Fast cars. Even faster women." Vroom-vroom. ;-)
Steiner squashing Spike -- yeah-yeah. At least we weren't missing much interesting while we were backstage with the paramedics. The crowd certainly didn't seem to think it was very interesting. I think it was this backstage segment where the cinema verite camera work started to make me just a little seasick. Please pass the Dramamine. (Lawler: "I can't believe we're actually calling this match!" Emma: "You're still not calling the match!!")
Did Rene actually say "[If we get the bounty] we can finally afford that little french poodle we wanted." ??!!?! I don't know what was funnier, the "cardboard-box blind" (courtesy ScreamingHeadGuy), or Goldberg vogue-ing for his photo shoot in the background.
"If Kane dies tonight, it's because of Steve Austin. Kane's health is on Steve Austin's head." OK, Bischoff doesn't usually say things that come out quite that weird. Eric?
Let go of "Creepy Little Bastard" -- the Peeps won't stand for it.
The Jericho/Christian/Coach/Storm segment was pretty good. It did a nice job pulling together the several different storylines, & the "members of the Board of Directors are in attendance" was a very nice touch.
Was it my imagination, or was the crowd pretty much dead as we returned to the Jericho/Christian/Lance/RVD match? The guys got the crowd back, but that was an inauspicious start. A reprise of the Christian/Jericho "69" spot -- eh, didn't float my boat the first time. Since when is it legal to tag through the ropes?? And after the match, when the ref "accidentally" thwapped Lance in the forehead -- I swear it wasn't an accident.
Has Randy gotten more tattoos??
Flair/Orton/Cade/Jindrak was fun, once I re-watched it without the announcers!
OK, what the hell are JR & Lawler thinking shilling that the bounty doesn't just apply to wrestlers, but to anybody, even viewers?!? Did I not hear them correctly??
Having completely exceeded my JR tolerance... There is no such word as "de-habilitate". There is "debilitate", & there is "rehabilitate". Every damn show, he works in "de-habilitate" at least once. Stopitstopitstopit!
Maven is doing so good! He was hanging in with Flair in the segment in the hall, right up to "I've had more world championships than you've had women." Even Trish was having a little trouble keeping a straight face at that one, & Maven had no answer whatsoever. :-)
I enjoyed Maven/Trish/Stevie/Victoria. The women got a lot of work, & they did great. Maven's doing good in-ring too, & Stevie's been great fun since he got paired with Victoria. (And the most amazing thing of all -- JR & Lawler actually called about half of the match -- even when the women were working! I was astounded.)
Note to Mark Henry: Especially if you're going to wear a white singlet, you need some padding, or a cup, or something. As they were walking(!!) down the hall, I saw way more of Mark than I ever wanted to. And, in the battle of Goldberg's phlegm vs. Mark Henry's genitalia, the phlegm wins. ("Phlegm wins! Phlegm wins! Phlegm wins!") I'm tellin' ya Bill -- decongestant, antihistamine, allergy-prevention -- whatever it takes -- please.
Soooo... Cool, fun stuff littered with bad & "eh" stuff. Adbreak & JR both being especially annoying. Makes for a strange show.
I'm glad someone said something about the way they kept zooming in on Mark Henry. It was wierd, too. They would pan to Mark, zoom in as much as they could, then they'd have to pan to Long, in a wide shot, but then they'd pan back to Mark and zoom in again. Just a really wierd way to shoot the interview. I'm starting to think the WWE recently hired an all new production staff, what with all the mistakes and wierd shots we've been seeing for about the last three weeks.
Pretty blah show. RVD + Canadians was a good match, but everything else wasn't very good. ME should have ended w/ a clean pin on Henry - there's no reason to protect Mark friggin' Henry. All that stuff could have happened post-pinfall.
And JR is a damn hypocrite. "There's never a reason to put your hands on a woman" (or whatever the line was). I guess I must have dreamt all the times the Dudleyz put heel women through tables as JR delcared that those "jezebels got what they deserved."
Readers who know me really well, know that at heart, Iím a whiny procrastinating son of a bitch. They know that for every column that I actually finish, I have another half-completed kicking around here.