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The W - Pro Wrestling - Raw 1-5-04
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Since: 1.2.02
From: Appleton, WI

Since last post: 1149 days
Last activity: 1149 days
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.54
In Bisch's Room of Fun, he, in black suit and Coach, in white "Tiger" longsleeved tshirt, chat. Then Teddy and Mark barge in, demanding their favor - that Teddy be the Raw GM for a night. Bisch hatches an evil plot and pawns the show off on Teddy for tonight.

Fighting evil by moonlight, winning love by daylight, never running from a rea fight, because it is time to WAKE UP! It's also time for Raw, live from Memphis, TN (God no - it's a Lawler self-indulgent crapfest)...and a Fashion Report, too!

Teddy, the new GM, in navy blue suit with checkered pins and white shirt, is out and on the mic. He runs-down Memphis, so Lawler (damnit), in black/white vertical stripes with gold and black jeans rebutts. Then Randy hits an RKO on Lawler (he's my new hero!).

Now in the back, Randy and Teddy chat. Mark shows up and demands an IC match. Teddy displays a remarkably short memory (is he one of the writers?) and books that match. Austin shows up, in "F*CK FEAR" tshirt, with a freakin' badge, and changes that match to RVD vs. Mark - the winner faces Randy next week.

Coach joins JR, in black sportscoat, black hat and white shirt, as announcer. Coach brought a "LSU" chair.

Rene, in blue "La Resistance" undies, with Conway (or not), with FOOTAGE! of Spike nearly being killed 4 months ago, vs. Spike, in black singlet and black/gold camo pants. Jack Doan referees. Johnathan (as the closed caption calls him) and Jim (again, the closed caption) would rather talk about last night's football game than call the match. Spike counters a press slam with a rollup for the pin. Average match. Post-match the Dudleys come out to celebrate, but Flair and Batista come down to beat-down the Dudlyes. (Man, that closed caption is pretty poor.)

Trish sings. Buy their CD.

Jericho, in his dressing room, is visited by Christian!, who tires to mend fences. Christian! asks if Jericho would join him for a tag team match - Jericho accepts.

FOOTAGE! of Michaels vs. HHH, with music (NFL Films would be proud).

Lawler comes back out, but Teddy arrives on-scene and makes all three men (JR, Lawler and Coach) his announce team.

Jericho, in sparkly pink/black silhoutte "Jericho" tights and Christian!, in navy blue tights with gold "C"s on purple/gold crests, vs. Hurricane, in cape and neon-green/black "H" suit, and Rosey, in grey "SHIT" tshirt, orange sleeves, and purple/green shorts. Hebner officiates. Unprettier -> pin. A nice match.

Stevie, in pink "Stevie Night Heat" fullcuts, with Victoria, in white sports bra and pants, vs. Test, in black undies with arcing hip flames. Victoria distracts much. Stevie with the rollup for the pin. Postmatch, Test boots Victoria - this causes Stevie to retaliate (and huddle over Victoria, reverting to animalistic instinct, protecting his mate).

Austin is out; he procedes to speak, as is his wont. HHH, in blakc polo shirt and black slacks, carrying the Heavyweight Title, interrupts (and he's actually pretty funny). Then Shawn, in black "The Source of Strength/Prepare for Battle" tshirt and black jeans, interrupts. Eventually Austin spits-out that HHH vs. Michales is a Royal Rumble match - and it's Last Man Standing. Pedigree to Michaels!

Molly, in red/black bodysuit, the Title over her shoulder. Since Victoria can't go, Teddy books a non-title match between Molly and Trish, in black top and plack/pink bellbottoms. Jack Doan again is the referee. Jazz, in white top with pink "(something) Bitch" swilr and blue jeans comes out, destructing all the other ladies. No Contest. Post-match, Jericho runs-off Jazz and tends to Trish (who is still a total bitch cold-shouldering him).

Randy Orton is the NEW hardcore legend.

Pete Rose, at Wrestlemania in '98, faces-down Kane (and gets tombstoned or it). Lousy gambler.

Rob, in black/green "RVD" singlet with yingyang, vs. Mark Henry, in red "Mark Henry" singlet with gold trim with Teddy Long. Charles Robinson is the official. Lillian wears a white top and white skirt, both with black trim around the zippers. Mark with a chairshot -> DQ. But Teddy makes it a no-DQ match. This brings-out Austin, on a 4-wheeler, to chase-off Teddy. Adbreak keeps us from knowing if the match continues.

Oh, so the match IS continued. Why is Mark going for a bearhug and not the pin? 5-Star for the pin. An average match. Post-match, Austin chasses Teddy into the ring. Finally catching him, Austin delivers the KickWhamStunner. Then there is drinking.

Jericho walks-into Trish's dressing room. He confesses his undying love to her. But it turns out to by Mae Young (enough to turn any healthy man homosexual).

Kane (who DOES have nothing better to do), in black tights with red stripes, with FOOTAGE! of last week's beatdown on Booker, is out to announce his entry into the Royal Rumble (and that he doesn't care about the fans). He does have FOOTAGE! of Undertaker betraying him. Oh, Booker, in white hot-crotch, flamin' "BookerT" undies interrupts the promo; he chases-off Kane, and announces that HE is entering the Royal Rumble, too.

Evolution - Flair in blue "Nature Boy" sequined robe and black "RF" undies, wearing the Tag Title, and Batista, in black undies with red wrapping flames, carrying the Tag Title, with FOOTAGE! of earlier tonight, vs. the Dudleys - DVon in sleeveless black "Dudley Boyz 3D" tshirt and black/yellow camo pants, wearing the Tag Title, and Bubba, in "Dudleyville 3D" jersey and black/yellow camo shorts. Mike Chioda is the referee. Flair bleeds...from the chest/shoulder? HHH comes out to distract. One armed cover by Flair -> pin on DVon. An average match. Post-match, Shawn superkicks HHH.

Overall: An okay show.

Fashion Reporter Extraordinaire

Because ten billion years' time is so fragile, so ephemeral...
It arouses such a bittersweet, almost heartbreaking fondness.

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Since: 6.11.03

Since last post: 4272 days
Last activity: 4248 days
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.68
Line of the night:
Coach: "he's chasing a black man"
stone cold chasing long around...quite many black references...i miss when king made criminal refrences about booker t.

Sign of the night:
Flair fears retirement
yep...i wonder how much longer the old folks can hang around...what is this WCW?!
Boudin rouge

Since: 5.10.02

Since last post: 232 days
Last activity: 1 day
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.91
Pretty good raw overall.

I have to say Triple H belittleing the sheriff gimmick was pretty funny, especially his comment.

"I get hit with sweet chin music last week and wake up this morning in mayberry."

That, The Hurricane/Rosey vs Vitamin C match, Kane promo and hell, even the Stevie/Test match was good(mainly the post match, nice to see Stevie actually on raw)
Head cheese

Since: 17.11.03
From: Aransas Pass TX

Since last post: 3217 days
Last activity: 3076 days
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.89
Am i the only one who would have loved it if when jericho had went into trish's lockerroom, he opened the shower curtain to find Christian and Trish making out. I know its far fetched but i was totally hoping that would happen

God Bless
Ramblin Wreck

Since: 28.7.03
From: Atlanta

Since last post: 4140 days
Last activity: 4125 days
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.63
Please Steve Austin, go home. It's sad, I'm already sick of watching your latest character.

Come on, it's nothing new. We've seen this same Austin character before. We saw it with the two-man power trip, and again during the Invasion. Now he's back again, as the so called 'sheriff', but he isn't fresh and he certainly isn't entertaining, although the fans in the crowd seem to love it.

A few things bothered me about Austin already, but perhaps I'm just nitpicky. First of all, he made a comment while confronting HHH that he would 'strip Triple H's title if he felt like it'. That is just threatening to be petty, to be no better than Bischoff. There are very few characters who should be able to arbitrarily strip a champion of a belt, Vince comes to mind, but certainly not a sheriff who supposedly is there to see that justice is served. That's not justice, that is just vengence.

Secondly, I much preferred when Austin could only attack after being physically provoked. It meant he had to be clever, baiting someone until they attacked him so that he could strike. Now he is the same old Austin he used to be, able to run all over anyone he wants, without fear or reservation. Expect to see him confronting and stunning several wrestlers over the next few months, often for the silliest of offenses (because Stacy wouldn't drink beer comes to mind).

Please WWE, you had a chance to do something with his return, change up the character or motives, but all you did was give us the same old Steve Austin. It's sad that his return has just begun, because who knows how long he will be around for this time. I'm not tuning in to see what crazy thing Austin will do this week, I'm tuning into RAW in spite of it.

Since: 26.1.03
From: Naples, FL

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 9 min.
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.86
RAW Thoughts:

Good to see Teddy Long get more face time....You HAD to know Lawler was gonna do something in Memphis. And of course, per the "hometown hero loses" part of all WWE contracts, he gets punked out....I didn't see Austin's badge at first- too small. I thought as a Sheriff, he was in charge of "law and order"- but now he's making matches? So he's like the co-gm again, great....I have a feeling Coach wouldn't have been on the show tonight if Oklahoma beat LSU....Dupree v.s Spike was okay. I'm digging Rene's in-ring work....Oh god, wrestlers singing. Didn't they learn their lesson with that already?....The tag match with Vitamin C and the Superheroes was all right. How does Rosey fit into that bodysuit?....Stevie wins three in a row over Test? I'm liking that....The obvious "Sherrif" jokes thanks to Trips....I thought Teddy would book Jazz v.s Molly instead of beating around the bush....

I loved the "paid for by friends of Randy Orton". All they needed was "Pssst, buy the shirt" like on the NWO ones....RVD v.s Mark Henry was better than it had any right to be....I hate to brag, but I called that Mae Young would step out of the shower. What was she even doing at RAW, much less in Trish's locker room?....The Kane/Booker T. thing did nothing for me, other than set-up the Kane/'Taker feud....The main event was okay, but the Dudleyz are more stale than hardtack- Civl War Hardtack!....An okay show, nothing too memorable though.
Mr Heel II
Lap cheong

Since: 25.2.02

Since last post: 12 days
Last activity: 1 day
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.12
HHH was so dead-on about how I felt with Austin as "Sheriff". Please. The four-wheeler was kind of fun, even if he nearly killed himself on it.

Kane cuts his promo about trusting somebody and I'm dreading the return of X-Pac. But that's because I couldn't watch last week. Instead, I get the impression I'll be seeing Kane and Booker T get it on at the upcoming house show. That's fine with me.

Interesting timing in breaking out the Pete Rose flashbacks. Of course, is all over it..."Should Pete Rose get chokeslammed or put in the Hall of Fame? Find out more in the BackDoor." No thanks.

So if you beat Test twice on Heat, you get bumped up to Raw so you can...fight Test?!?

Exactly how many shirts has Michaels released? (Checks shopzone...finds five...swears there's a new one every week...)

Oh well. Where's that Canucks game...

Since: 20.8.03
From: New Jersey, USA

Since last post: 3724 days
Last activity: 3405 days
#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.79
Meh Raw. A couple notes:

--When Jericho approached the shower, I was legit expecting Jericho to turn around and see Christian. A Trish heel turn with Christian is the best way to go now.

--I don't know if it's a full moon but I actually marked out for both Orton and HHH tonight. I have NEVER enjoyed anything Orton has ever done, and I haven't HHH in over a year. But the RKO on Lawler and mocking sheriff bit were funny.

--I enjoyed the Booker T/Kane segment, and I don't think I've enjoyed a single Kane feud since the Corporation angle. Looks like Taker's coming to Raw.

Since: 9.7.02
From: Sleep (That's where I'm a viking)

Since last post: 918 days
Last activity: 46 days
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.39
Jericho & Mae: Not funny.
Coach falling out of his chair: Hi-freaking-larious!

    Originally posted by CRZ on January 4, 2001
    Somebody should remind Jericho that Y2K is over and he risks dating himself.

    Originally posted by CRZ on December 24, 2001
    Look, it's almost 2002 - is there ANY chance we'll see the "Y2J" moniker fall by the wayside ANY time soon?
Lap cheong

Since: 18.6.02
From: North Cacalacky

Since last post: 2341 days
Last activity: 263 days
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.22
Coach and Teddy Long were the definite highlights tonight. I never thought I'd say this, but I hope they keep Coach in the broadcasting booth for a few more weeks. He added a LOT more entertainment to the show. "I'll slow it down for those of you who are hip-impaired." Now that's just funny.

Kane v. Booker T? Still not thrilled.

Could this be a push for Stevie Richards? If it is then pencil me down as the happiest man on earth. Unfortunatley, I know better.

"The preceeding announcement was paid for by friends and supporters of Randy Orton" God, that was fucking GREAT!

RVD v. Mark Henry was over the negative star range. Doesn't that make it Mark Henry's greatest match ever? And, hey, now RVD gets to job to Randy Orton next week! YAY!

Just a question: With Dudleyz v. Flair & Batista taking place tonight, RVD v. Orton taking place next week, and Booker T and Kane both being in the Rumble match, what matches (aside from HHH v. Michaels) does RAW have left for the PPV?

Pete Rose: What a coincidence.

And was it just me, or was that a total nipple-slippage by Mae Young there? Uggghh

The answer to WWE's financial problems...
Matt Tracker

Since: 8.5.03
From: North Carolina

Since last post: 3 days
Last activity: 1 day
#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.78
Sheriff Austin, stop drinkin' the haterade. Holla.

Vitamin C/Rosey & Hurricane. You're at the show, They just played a backstage skit with Vitamin C in face roles. Who do you cheer for?

Speaking of cheering, I felt very bad for Victoria gamely slapping the mat to get the crowd into the Test/Stevie match to utterly no avail. I also didn't like crazy Victoria shying away from the big bad heel. Hey, let her play the face but don't take away the viciousness. Jazz wouldn't have scurried away like that.

Speaking of her, glad to see the WWE marketing geniuses let her waltz onto camera in an airburshed shirt she coulda got at the mall. In 1983. Give that woman the obligatory WMXX shirt!

It was a placeholder show, with a nice twist using Teddy Long that way. Sure, why not? Why not Eric granting GM status to a new sucker each Monday? Next up: General Manager Rob Conway.

So ... if Austin can strip titles and abuse GMs and lay down the law, why didn't he pit himself against Randy Orton?

(edited by Matt Tracker on 5.1.04 2044)

"To be the man, you gotta beat demands." -- The Lovely Mrs. Tracker

Since: 20.8.03
From: New Jersey, USA

Since last post: 3724 days
Last activity: 3405 days
#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.79
    Originally posted by OMEGA

    Just a question: With Dudleyz v. Flair & Batista taking place tonight, RVD v. Orton taking place next week, and Booker T and Kane both being in the Rumble match, what matches (aside from HHH v. Michaels) does RAW have left for the PPV?

Looks like Test vs Stevie Richards, Stone Cold/King vs Teddy Long/Mark Henry, and Chris Jericho vs Jazz.

Since: 18.3.03
From: Honolulu, HI

Since last post: 717 days
Last activity: 16 days
#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.30
i believe jazz's shirt read "super bitch".

i was dissappointed that they copped out on the victoria vs. molly match but i thought they handled the return of jazz nicely. IMO, jazz and victoria's finishers both look more painful and crippling than the RKO.

the "paid for by supporters of randy orton" commercial was straight out of wcw's playbook with the "paid for by the nWo" commercials they used to run. (i think there was a thread somewhere about WWE using WCW ideas.. ;-))

maybe i'm in the minority here, but i thought that booker t's promo was a pretty shining example of his main-event worthiness. it brought back memories of his championship run back in wcw.

it says so right here in the wcw handbook!
Super Shane Spear

Since: 2.1.02
From: Sector 7 Slums

Since last post: 1991 days
Last activity: 1991 days
#14 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.08


(edited by Super Shane Spear on 5.1.04 2111)

Since: 23.1.02
From: Phoenix, AZ

Since last post: 599 days
Last activity: 400 days
#15 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.30
    Originally posted by Super Shane Spear

    Die WWE

    (edited by Super Shane Spear on 5.1.04 2111)

Too smark for our own good, maybe? This was the only segment I really watched of Raw. I was waiting to see what the payoff would finally be. Boy was I disappointed.


"I'm going to go now and demand beer money from my representative. We simply must deal with the problem of my sobriety." - PalpatineW
Swordsman Yen

Since: 16.2.02
From: Shaolin

Since last post: 4337 days
Last activity: 4320 days
#16 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.00
If I can be serious for a minute...
You guys actually thought the WWE would have a well thought out payoff in the shower cooked up for the Jericho storyline? You people obviously haven't been paying attention for the last 3 years.


Since: 20.6.02

Since last post: 271 days
Last activity: 264 days
#17 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.36
Can't say I was really impressed with Raw this week. It was an ehhhh kind of show. I didn't care for the LSU vs. OU banter between Coach and JR...for that matter, I don't think Coach, King and JR showed much chemistry.

I like ol' Peanuthead, but in small doses. After this episode, I'm wishing Long would return to being a referee as soon as that. Belee dat!

For the first time in a long time, I actually liked Triple H. His promo reminded me of his DX days.

Note to Stone Cold: GO AWAY!!!

Good to see Stevie Night Heat on another night :-) I loved his work tonight; I almost bought his anger when he unloaded on Test after he (supposedly) hit Victoria. Of course, here in Canada, we didn't see that.

Here's hoping Smackdown!'s fare this week turns out decently.

Lordy lordy...what have I done? Engagement? The horror!
It's False

Since: 20.6.02
From: I am the Tag Team Champions!

Since last post: 55 days
Last activity: 3 days
#18 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.35
It's hard to believe how much the IWC has completely turned on Steve Austin. Today, especially, the level of Austin-hatred has reached astronomical levels. Well, *I* still like Austin, dammit!

But the "sheriff" moniker just makes the man look ridiculous. The powers of his title aren't clear and I think this whole storyline was cooked up just so the writers could have an excuse to put a badge on someone. Austin rules the universe...when he's given GOOD material, which this ain't. And obviously, the writers haven't kept up with their continuity, or else they'd remember...

Badges? You got us badges? We don't NEED no stinkin' badges! (

I'm not angry that Austin's on my TV. I'm angry that Austin's been given such a shitty storyline.

Admit it. You laughed too when you found out Brock was feuding with Sparky Plugg.

Since: 10.1.03
From: Enter your city here

Since last post: 2577 days
Last activity: 632 days
#19 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.53
Coach still reminds me of the guy who won the "One lucky fan gets to call a night of Raw alongside Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler" contest. Not that it would make any differences as any show headlined by the DUdLLey Boys is bound to be awful. I know the staleness of there gimmick is talked about alot, but does WWE really think that refreshening characters equates to handing out different color camo's every six months?

Yes, the IWC has turned against Austin, and im sure i'll loose another half point off my rating by saying I still dig the guy. Just, no, not in that role. Funny thing is, the whole Austin anti authority storyline started when to roll when he attacked Sgt. Slaughter, who at the time had the gimmick of "New Sheriff In Town."
Lap cheong

Since: 4.4.03
From: Nitro WV

Since last post: 67 days
Last activity: 4 days
#20 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.64
    Originally posted by ScreamingHeadGuy
    Jericho walks-into Trish's dressing room. He confesses his undying love to her. But it turns out to by Mae Young (enough to turn any healthy man homosexual).

The second post of that thread almost came lead to Mae Young, yet not her crotch. Darn
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To be somewhat fair, his argument is if it turns out to be a good show, Vince will get money from him (although less than the original price)
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