Given the choice between buying No Mercy, and playing another three hours of Xenogears... I'll just catch the reviews later and, y'know, enjoy myself this evening.
2 interesting matches just aren't worth the price tag, especially since they give away at least one great match per week on Smackdown. Now that I think about it, I have about three hours of recent **** matches on tape, maybe I'll just watch that.
I'm actually going to watch this. I already feel dirty.
Noble vs. Tajiri (maybe)- Ah, the cruiserweight division. What a waste of talent. Noble will win, allowing us to be subjected to another block of tasteless trailer trash skits, further grinding the belt into oblivion.
Torrie vs. Dawn Marie- I really don't care. I'll be in the kitchen making a margarita.
Van Dam vs. Flair- This could be really good or really bad, depending on the ring chemistry. Both guys could really use the win, but I'll go with Flair simply because RVD annoys the shit out of me.
Angle & Benoit vs. Edge & Mysterio- Should be a stellar match. I'll be making two margaritas so I don't have to get up. Maybe bring an empty quart of milk to piss in, too. I'm not missing a second of this shit. This is for my 35 bucks. I'll predict Angle & Benoit because I like their angle right now.
Heat just started. Heyman is shilling for the HIAC. HAHA. "No one walks out of the cell the same man they went in as." "This match is going to change everybody's lives, and not for the better." What a fuckin' cheese donkey.
Jericho & Christian vs. Booker T & Goldust- Booker is the shit and he needs this. Talk about misuse of fucking stellar talent.
Trish vs. Victoria- Margarita time again. Actually, if this match lasts longer than five minutes I'll probably just start drinking the damn tequila straight out the bottle. My prediction? The fans lose, ultimately.
HHH vs. Kane- Kane is my man, and despite the fact that he's involved in a godawful angle right now, I'll still stick with him. If he loses, I hope he still continues to get a big push. He deserves it. Go Kane.
Brock vs. Taker- At this point, I'll be thoroughly shitty from tequila, and I've decided I need to upgrade my TV. I will also have my AR-15 locked and loaded next to my couch. If I have to be subjected to another Taker title reign I am going to empty the fucking clip into my television. If you live in Denver and hear 30 shots after Brock jobs, that's me. Come say hi.
A SHOOT is someone forgetting the script and stiffing the shit out of someone with the usual intent of injuring on purpose. A mule kick to the head that was too hard and causes a career-ending concussion? A sloppy accident.