Hogan vs. Catchphrase: How long until Catchphrase moves back to movies, so I don't have to switch off SD for about half an hour when he's on? Card is in Montreal, Hogan/Vince at Mania, so we know we'll get the Montreal screw-job in this match: Winner: Catchphrase via screwjob.
Steiner vs. Trip: If Vince puts a World Title belt leading up to Mania on Steiner, he deserves for the company to become the AWA. I don't think Vince has gone that crazy (yet). Winner: Trip.
Batista vs. Booker: Booker is seeking revenge for the attack on his friend and is probably the most over person on the RAW roster. Batista has potential, but should be two years away from a serious push. Thus, picking this match is easy. Winner: Batista.
Jeff Hardy vs. Jericho: Well, I guess 1bullshit was right when they said Test was going to be punished for no showing in the snow. Now remember the lesson: Look disinterested and blow spots for about a year: get pushed. Miss a show because of a blizzard: get punished. Match between these two was pedestrian at best on RAW two weeks ago, and hopefully they don't try to spice things up by having Test interfere and lead to Jericho/Test and Hardy/Michaels at Mania. Winner: Jericho.
Regal/Storm vs. RVD/Kane: RVD went over Storm on RAW, thus conventional logic has RVD jobbing on PPV. I still think they will do an RVD/Kane split for a Mania match, and Dudleys getting revenge on Regal/Storm at Mania, thus: Winners: Regal/Storm.
Taker vs. Big Slug: I really don't care. A face is going to have to go over at some point, so it might as well be here. Winner: Taker.
Matt Hardy vs. Kidman: Cruiser title makes an appearance on PPV. If Matt Hardy does not go over, something is seriously wrong. Winner: Matt Hardy.
Team Angle vs. Lesnar/Benoit/Edge: At least thats the match set-up at the time I'm writing the predictions. Should be match of the night, but on this card, thats not much of an accomplishment. No better time to do the Edge stretcher job than on PPV. Winners: Team Angle.
When Jeff Hardy is on a PPV and Los Guerreros aren't, something is seriously wrong with the world.
Edit: Somehow, I forgot Austin vs. Uncle Eric.
Austin vs. Uncle Eric: Well, they could do the Starrcade '98 match where Eric went over Flair. If they did, the fans might riot though. Austin stuns Bischoff after pretending to be willing to forgive him for firing him in '95.
(edited by redsoxnation on 21.2.03 2022) The only military skill provided by the French is demonstrating the methods of surrendering.
Hulk Hogan v. The Rock Re-Match from WrestleMania Result: Hulk Hogan Why: Rock gets cocky and Hogan fights him off. Hogan's too old to go over clean, but I bet some screwy Vincerference accidently goes against Rock, and Hogan wins, setting Vince trying to take matters into his own hands at Mania.
Scott Steiner v. Triple H WWE World Title Match Result: Triple H Why: Because Steiner won't get a title run? I'm guessing the Evolution runs some interference, which is countered by Booker T. HHH goes over, but sets himself up with a solid feud for the near future.
Team Angle v. Benoit/Edge/Brock Result: Team Angle Why: Angle plays the chickenshit staying away from Brock the entire match. Brock chases Angle around, while the rest of the team takes out Edge and Benoit. I wouldn't rule out an Albert run in on Benoit. Oh boy.
Steve Austin v. Eric Bischoff Result: Steve Austin Why: Eric does a fancy looking martial arts routine, Austin gives him the finger. Kickwhamstunner, and drink some beer. Welcome back, Steve.
The Undertaker v. Big Show Result: The Big Show Why: Upset special as Nathan Jones makes his debut attacking Taker and leaving him for dead against Show. Undertaker gets his revenge on Smackdown next week.
Jeff Hardy v. Chris Jericho Result: Chris Jericho Why: Jericho/Michaels for Mania. Canadian fans go rabid for Jericho.
Matt Hardy v. Billy Kidman WWE Cruiserweight Title Match Result: Matt Hardy Why: Shannon tries interference and fails, but Matt hits the Twist of Fate and gets the title.
Rob Van Dam and Kane v. William Regal and Lance Storm WWE Tag Team Title Match Result: William Regal and Lance Storm Why: Kane accidently cost the team the match, and Van Dam is upset. Kane hints at a heel turn.
Batista v. Booker T Result: Booker T Why: Because Booker is in the middle of a big push, Batista is Upper-midcard Booker fodder right now.
(edited by Excalibur05 on 21.2.03 2025) RAW Satire 2/17 Buffy 7.15 gets a 8 The Kennedy tweener turn happened out of nowhere, but whatever. Mostly good stuff though.
-Hogan v.s Rock: Hogan, so the fans can go home happy -Steiner v.s Triple H: Triple H, for so many reasons... -Team Angle v.s Benoit/Edge/Brock: Team Angle, to set up Angle v.s Brock at WrestleMania -Austin v.s Bischoff: No-brainer-Austin, but they could do a lot of different things to get there -'Taker v.s Big Show: 'Taker, but who cares? -Jeff Hardy v.s Jericho: Jericho, since Jeff was just added -Matt Hardy v.s Kidman: Mattitude gets the belt -RVD & Kane v.s Regal & Storm: RVD & Kane...how long can Regal & Storm keep going over with no one caring except J.R.? -Batista v.s Booker T.: Booker; he seems to be getting pushed to the top of RAW now; I could see him going over w/o making Batista look bad (DQ?)
Hogan vs. Rock- PICK: ROCK - I also see another Montreal Vince McMahon screw job a mile away
Steiner vs. HHH - PICK: HHH - As much as I hate HHH. Steiner would be worse
Batista vs. Booker - PICK: BOOKER T - Is this match even offical, first I heard of it.
Jeff Hardy vs. Jericho - PICK: JERICHO - Jericho is getting a pretty big push to Wrestle Mania. Right?
Regal/Storm vs. RVD/Kane- PICK: RVD & KANE - I will be honest no clue at all. I'm thinking a heel turn from Kane. But on the other side I see all champions on all shows being heels if my predictions for the night, they might want one face to come out on top. So I went with the faces
Taker vs. Big Show- PICK: UNDERTAKER- I'll bet a daily double that this match will suck
Matt Hardy vs. Kidman- PICK: MATT HARDY - Please give the title to someone with personality. Who would have guessed 6 months ago when saying put the title on someone with personality I'd be talking about Matt Hardy LoL
Team Angle vs Benoit/Brock/Edge - PICK: BENOIT/BROCK/EDGE - I just get a feeling the faces will go over here
Austin vs. Bitchoff- PICK: AUSTIN- I still dont' get this match up but safe bet Austin.
All titles on the line except the womens match. I'd rather see Jazz vs. Victoria then Booker vs. Batista or Taker vs. Show Ohhh well
Edit in one more prediction. Test and Stacy will be hosting No Way Out Live from the World
(edited by Net Hack Slasher on 22.2.03 0042) Oh they have the internet on computers now!
Hogan vs Rock: First, Rock isn't as stupid as Mania where he bumped all over the place for Hogan's ridiculous offense. Rock wins with the VinnieMac screwjob. Austin gives Rock and Vince some Stunners to send the fans home happy.
Steiner vs HHH - Duh, HHH.
Booker vs Batista - Was this even announced? Booker T
Jeff Hardy vs Jericho - Jeff wasn't even supposed to be on the show so Jericho goes over but it is JERICHO so the right thing is never a sure bet with him.
Regal/Storm v RVD/Kane - Regal/Storm
Taker vs Show - Taker
Matt vs Kidman - Mattitude
Team Angle vs Team Face - Faces go over
Austin vs Bischoff - Austin pulls a bunch of wild shit and Stuns about 300 people. Will he drink beer? Can he? That's the real question. Bischoff trades Austin on RAW the next night.
I believe he meant a 'push' out the door. Just as D-Lo's beginning to get over with the crowds, they give him the pink slip.
Well... 'I don't do predictions', but I guess since I AM posting in here...
Hogan vs Rock - This one is a toss up, actually. Hogan will probably win cause that is the better build up to a Hogan/Vince match, but Rock's already lost once to him, and in all fairness, Rocky deserves the rub here, so it should also be Rock going over here. Shit, I don't know, I hate predictions.
Steiner vs HHH - Steiner: He needs to go over here if they want to use him any more. He can't keep losing every match to Helmsley. But then I hope they don't put the belt on him, unless he just gonna lose it on RAW to someone else; I'm guessing a DQ of some sort.
Booker vs Batista - Batista: Ric Flair's gonna be there, I'm sure and Booker T can't beat the Man! This will ALSO set up a match for 'Mania.
Jeff Hardy vs Jericho - Jericho: Look at how easy it was to replace Test in this match, it must be Jericho winning but with some sort of interference by Shawn Michaels.
Regal/Storm vs RVD/Kane - Regal/Storm: I care about them, they are both great athletes and I think they DESERVE the spot they've got.
Undertaker vs Big Show - Undertaker: I think a certain lactating aussie will be doing some interference here. "I don't make milk!"
Mattitude vs Kidman - Kidman: His girlfriend's Torrie Wilson, and SHE never loses, right... oh wait.
Team Angle vs Benoit/Brock/Edge - Team Angle: this is build up to 'Mania, so they GOTTA let Angle look good for his probable loss to Brock at 'Mania.
Austin vs Bischoff - EVERYONE in attendance who dished out the extre $5 to $10 bucks a ticket to see his return. However, I'd love for Austin to be WITH Bischoff and stay on RAW but I don't see this happening. He'll probably stunner Eric a few times and leave with Stephanie cause of the whole Alliance thing or something, THEN attack Rock later in the night.
Cerebus: Barbarian, Prime Minister, Pope, Perfect House Guest.
"Graft is as necessary as throwing up when you drink too much."
Austin vs Bischoff: Austin via five or more stunners.
Booker vs Batista: Hmmm... the only one I care about where I'm not really sure. Either Booker gets decked mid-spinaroonie by Flair and Dave wins, or Booker goes over and we all rejoice. I'm in a good mood today so I'll go Booker.
Mattitude vs Kidman: Kidman gets a Mattitude adjustment. Huzzah!
Taker vs Big Show: Taker by a squash that hopefully lasts just long enough for me to get the beers in without missing anything.
Y2J vs Jeff Hardy: At least if Test had been here I could have stared at Stacy. Oh well, Jericho cheats to win
Rvd/Kane vs Regal/Storm: Somebody turns heel letting Regal/Storm win
HHH vs Steiner: HHH after Evolution interference.
6 man tag: Makes no sense to have the faces go over. Team Angle after Kurt spends less than 2 minutes total in the ring with Brock
"You dont appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman: stuff you'd pay good money for these days."
CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: Billy Kidman (c) VS Matt Hardy - Matt Hardy is becoming one of the most over midcarders on the Smackdown brand; Billy Kidman has the charisma of one of the ringposts. Plus, if you look at Wrestlemania, Hardy-Mysterio for the Cruiserweight belt is a lot more appealing than Kidman-anybody, and you really have to book No Way Out via Wrestlemania, so... WINNER: Matt Hardy, new Cruiserweight champion
The Undertaker VS The Big Show - 'Taker, obviously. I see no logic in putting Show over here, and Undertaker doesn't exactly job every day. (Although, it is possible to drag this fued out another month, seeing as there's really nothing for either of these guys to do at Wrestlemania, and it's kind of a WWE-bylaw that Taker wins at WM. Still...) WINNER: The Undertaker
WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: Lance Storm and William Regal (c) VS Kane and Harvey Dee - I suppose this one could go down either way, judged on it's own merits. Kane and Van Dam aren't really doing anything important right now, and Storm and Regal have had a fairly long reign by current standards. (Almost TWO MONTHS!) Still, it seems to me that the Dudleyz have to be the ones to get the belts off Storm and Regal themselves, and Kane and RVD could easily wind up fighting each other at Wrestlemania. When it comes down to it, I'd bet on seeing the "suspended" Dudley Boyz show up here, giving the belts to the faces, who wind up dropping the belts right back to the heels the next night on RAW due to that damned Chief Morely, just like the Rumble. WINNERS: Kane and Rob Van Dam, very brief new Tag Team champions
Booker T VS Batista - This is just the beginning of Book's fued with the Evolution - he won't job this early. Batista, for all his massive scariness, really hasn't won that many of his matches anyway. WINNER: Booker T
Chris Jeircho VS Jeff Hardy - I wouldn't expect to see too much interference here. I'm sure Test's punishment would keep him off PPV entirely and, while there's no reason to doubt a Christian run-in, trying to play Shawn Michaels as a face in Montreal against a Canadian is an exercise in futility. That said, Jeff Hardy's little more than an over jobber, and Jericho's got a major match against HBK all but announced for Wrestlemania, so there's not much to question in this one. WINNER: Chris Jericho
WCW-ESQUE WORLD TITLE MATCH - PISSBREAK EXTRAVAGNA: HHH (c) VS Scott Steiner - Ol' Fuzzy Bastard will go take a shower and then make some nachos, returning just in time to see HHH hit the Pedigree and win cleanly. (And against the rare opponent where that is A Good Thing.) WINNER: HHH, still WCW-esque World Champion
Team Angle VS Brock Lesnar, Chris Benoit and Edge? - First, there's the matter of Edge's injury. Normally, in a match like this, they could keep him out of the ring most of the time, but I don't think we'll see Angle and Lesnar together in the match very much, which would make it necessary to keep BROCK on the apron most of the time as well. Sure, Benoit could fight the whole match by himself, but that's really not a very practical idea. I think we may see a Team Angle beatdown on Edge, possibly during Heat, leading to a replacement in the latter match. Rhyno seems to be a likely cantidate, and this would be a hell of a time to reintroduce him into the mix, and a later heel turn would make for a good post-Wrestlemania fued for Brock. Still, I kind have a feeling the third man would turn out to be the otherwise unutilized and completely logical Rey Mysterio Jr. No matter who it is, Team Angle's getting the win, and Kurt will probably pin Brock. WINNERS: Team Angle.
SURREAL MATCH: Eric Bischoff VS The Pussy. First of all, Austin will get booed out of the arena. I just have a feeling. They're in Canada - that's the Bizzaro universe of crowd heat. As for the "match", Austin will beat Bischoff like his dinner was cold, and then drink beer and say "What" for twenty minutes. The over/under on people getting sick of ol' Stone Cold again stands firmly at ten minutes.
The Rock VS Hulk Hogan - You know something, I have NO IDEA who's going over in this one. Common logic says that you put the younger guy over in a match like this, but ---Rock beat Hogan last time, and ---Rock's even more of a part-time wrestler than the Hulkster
I could honestly see this one going either way, but the little Hulkamaniac inside of me knows that nothing can stop Hulkamania. Neither guy really NEEDS the win, they're both over by default at this point in their careers. Yeah, I gotta go with the Hulkster, brother. WINNER: Hulk Hogan.
EDIT: Me write pretty words.
(edited by OlFuzzyBastard on 22.2.03 1223) "Contrary to popular belief, there are no good wars, with the following exceptions: the American Revolution, World War II and the 'Star Wars' trilogy." -Bart Simpson
Kidman/Hardy- Matt Hardy. Undertaker/Big Show- Big Show with help. Storm Regal/Kane RVD- Storm and Regal. Booker/Batista- Booker T. Jericho/Hardy- Jericho. HHH/Steiner- HHH. I don't think it will be negative stars. Team Angle/Lesnar Edge Benoit- Team Angle. Bischoff/Austin- Austin. Rock/Hogan- Hogan. The crowd is going to love this.
This is the first ppv I'll be ordering since Summerslam. The product seems a lot better to me when Rock is around.
Booker T vs. Batista- I don't think this is on the card, but it should be. If it is, I say Booker T. He needs the rub if he is going after HHH. If he gets a good match out of Batista, I'll be floored. I just checked wwe.com, this match is not happening. Another reason to split the PPVs.
Hardy vs. Kidman. Matt does a title after being depushed for A-Train for no reason. The idea of Hary/Rey at Wrestlemania X-9 is a great idea.
Team Black hole of suck vs. RVD/Kane- I want anyone to take those belts off Lance and Regeal, but it won't happen here. Team Canada wins.
Taker vs. Big Show. I say Taker since its his comeback match and he gets his revenge while ohters never due.
Jericho vs. Jeff. Jericho wins, its Montreal and Shawn maybe in Jeff's corner, so Jeff is automatically a heel here.
Steiner vs. HHH- The loser, the fans. If the Booker/HHH rumors are true then I'm saying routing for HHH. I feel dirty. HHH wins either cause he put a ring on Steph last week.
Team Angel vs. Brock/Edge/Benoit. Brock should carry the load since Benoit and Edge are hurt, but Benoit is a gamer so he'll fight and Edge will do a few moves before leaving for a year. In the end though, its Brock/Benoit/Edge since it will lead to ramifications at Wrestlemania.
Austin vs. Eric- Eric gets one good shot in and thats about it. Good to have Austin home.
Rock vs. Hogan- Rock all the way and I hope he breaks one of Hogan's hips. I don't know if Rock's comments the last few weeks have been shot or just ironic, but Hogan has bored the hell out of me. I just hope they do Montreal screwjob him, he deserves it. Fuck the fans.
A Fan- I have to say this is a really nice looking PPV.
Kidman vs. Matt Hardy - Tough one. Up until Smackdown, I would have went w/ Hardy full on, but Matt picked up the pinfall on Thursday so I'm gonna go w/ Kidman.
Show vs. Taker - Similiar logic here. Show jumped Taker on Smackdown so Taker goes over. Plus, Show sucks.
Booker vs. Batista - Wait, where did this one come from? Anyway, Booker wins, esp. if they want him to look like a credible opponen for Trips at Mania.
Steiner vs. Trips - No brainer here. Trips.
Jericho vs. Jeff Hardy - Tough one. Hardy did get the pinfall on Raw, but it was really more because of Michaels than anything. Honestly, I think it'll end in a DQ after interference from HBK and/or Christian. If not, then Jericho.
Storm/Regal vs. RVD/Kane - I don't see any other good reason for this match to take place besides to give RVD and Kane the belts. So, there's my pick.
Team Angle vs. Edge, Benoit and Lesnar - Edge/Benoit/Lesnar w/ Lesnar going over either haas or Benjamin.
Bischoff vs. Austin - Austin.
Rock vs. Hogan - Gotta go w/ Rock w/ possible interference from Vinnie Mac.
Hey, come on, there are at least two Road Warriors going in this year. They can just have Sunny say "WELLLLL!" during their joint LOD2000 induction. Cena broke out the "Wu Tang is for the children" defense on The Rock!