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22.8.14 2243
The W - Movies & TV - POSTAL! The Review! (Spoilers!) (...and exclamation points!!!)
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Cerebus
Knackwurst








Since: 17.11.02

Since last post: 24 days
Last activity: 4 hours
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.48
Postal!

INDIANA JONES wasn't the ONLY film to be released this week, you know. Uwe Boll's POSTAL also came out in a whopping 14 theatres! I wonder which movie will make the most money? (Hahaha!)

POSTAL, as some of you could guess, is based on the video game by the same name. It doesn't exactly have ANYTHING to do with the game, but it's still based on it, according to the credits. The film is centered around Postal Dude (Zack Ward). Yes, this is the only name he is given in the film. Postal Dude isn't having a good life. His beautiful wife has ballooned to gigantic proportions AND is cheating on him with EVERYBODY, he can't get a job. He's pretty much a loser. What's a guy to do... hmm.

Also in town, called Paradise, happens to be everyones favorite Public Enemy Number One... Osama Bin Laden(Larry Thomas AKA Seinfeld's The Soup Nazi!), hiding out (in Arizona?!?!), waiting to commit the next atrocity on America. He's just hanging out at a convenient store playing pool and calling up his good 'buddy' George W Bush.

Chaos ensues when Postal Dude decides to help out his Uncle Dave (played by a scene stealing Dave Foley!) steal some kids toys shaped like penises that just happen to be filled with Avian Bird Flu, which is what Bin Laden is waiting for.

In the ensuing battle... hundreds... HUNDREDS of children and regular people get killed in bloody, nasty, and hillarious ways. Uwe Boll himself even gets shot in the balls.

Director Uwe Boll really out does himself this time. The script is funny, the directing isn't shitty, and he even makes fun of himself a few times. The acting is good to great thanks to Dave Foley, with his penis deserving a co-star billing. Zack Ward is also pretty good here, basiclly playing the straight guy to everyone elses goofball. He's about the sanest character in the film, which isn't really saying much, I guess. Other stand outs are JK Simmons(LAW & ORDER, OZ) as a guy running for office yet he's totally nuts ("George W Bush... he's an actor. That's not even his real name!") and Vince Desi, one of the creators of the POSTAL games, shows up as himself to attack Uwe Boll for fucking up the film version of his game.

Overall: This film certainly won't win any awards or even make money. Uwe had to pay for the distribution himself, which explains why it's ONLY showing in 14 across America and Canada... but damnit, it's funny and pretty good. You don't really have to see it in a theatre, but do try to catch it at some point because it's easily his second best film. I'd also admit it's the funniest film I've seen this year.

Rating - B - A surprising good film that made me laugh from the opening on through to the credits. This was SHOCKINGLY good for Uwe Boll. SHOCKING!!!

(#14)

EDIT: Why the hell won't the picture show? What am I doing wrong?

EDIT again: Never mind, got it!

(edited by Cerebus on 25.5.08 0015)

(edited by Cerebus on 25.5.08 0017)

Forget it Josh... it's Cerebustown.
Promote this thread!
Llakor
Landjager








Since: 2.1.02
From: Montreal, Quebec, CANADA

Since last post: 500 days
Last activity: 491 days
AIM:  
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.50
    Originally posted by Cerebus
    You don't really have to see it in a theatre, but do try to catch it at some point because it's easily his second best film. I'd also admit it's the funniest film I've seen this year.

    Rating - B - A surprising good film that made me laugh from the opening on through to the credits. This was SHOCKINGLY good for Uwe Boll. SHOCKING!!!



OK. I'll bite what do you think is his best?

Dungeon Siege: In the Name of the King?

Where everyone is acting in a completely different film?
(I will admit that I did dig the Robin Hood Cirque du Soleil Lesbian Assassins.)





"Don't Blame CANADA, Blame Yourselves!"
Cerebus
Knackwurst








Since: 17.11.02

Since last post: 24 days
Last activity: 4 hours
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.48
    Originally posted by Llakor
    OK. I'll bite what do you think is his best?


    Originally posted by Cerebus

    AMOKLAUF (1994) – Directed by Uwe Boll. Yes THAT Uwe Boll, the guy we all love to hate. Ordinarily, he puts out shit films, but this wasn’t always the case. AMOKLAUF is about a German waiter who has a very boring life. So boring, in fact, that after a regular day at work, he comes home to watch slaughter house tapes and porn and masturbate. He gets interrupted by his rather beautiful neighbor who he, seemingly for no reason, kills her and displays her dead body so that it can watch him finish his ‘self abuse’. Then he goes off on a killing spree. Watching this was quite strange, because if It didn’t say ‘Directed By Uwe Boll’ in the beginning, you’d never even consider that it was. It was quite good and sadly is the last good thing he’ll ever do. So much promise here, only to be shattered by everything he’s touched since.


...I posted this here (The W)way back in October of last year. You were the ONLY person to even comment on it. (hmm... and I put SO MUCH work into it too.)

AMOKLAUF really is quite a good and fascinating film.



(edited by Cerebus on 27.5.08 2258)

(edited by Cerebus on 27.5.08 2301)

Forget it Josh... it's Cerebustown.
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For I as well. I particularly enjoyed Steve accidentally working a day in his life, though he loved it so much he went back for more, and Emmy completing her self-righteous transformation into Michael Bluth.
- John Orquiola, Running Wilde 1x3 "Oil & Water" (2010)
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