Roddy Piper sent out the following press release this weekend:
This is Roddy Piper.
Well who'd of thought they'd ever see Rowdy Roddy Piper on WWF television again? Not many people that for sure, but thanks to Tom Pritchard, I'm back.
The Internet is up in arms over me returning to the WWF. Certain others wrestlers who NEVER drew any money, plus punks who live vicariously through the wrestlers are calling me a hypocrite. I'm writing this editorial to address this. In fact, I can answer this question in one word, HELL NO.
In my book In The Pit With Piper I said I was sick of sports entertainment, where promoters make all of their money by prostituting wrestlers and how disappointed I am wrestling is so focused on T&A. Yet, I turn up at WrestleMania, the show I created, the show I put on the map, and appeared alongside woman with huge t**s (Trish Stratus) and woman showing ass (Victoria). Did I let my fans down? No I didn't.
Here is why:
I can now have a say on the creative direction of the Smackdown product. I've already been invited to production meetings which will mean I'll get to hear the show before it is filmed, and remember, I'm fluent in bulls***, if I hear bulls*** I'll call it. I'm not like these 20 year old college boys who are scared of going against Vince, me and Jr. have gone at it in the past and I'm sure we'll go at it again.
The kids in the company will have someone to come to for help and won't be able to be abused. Let's say that they want Josh Mathews to have a 350 pound Samoans ass in his face, well guess what? It isn't happening, at least whilst I'm there.
You see, to be able to change the industry you have to be in the inside, be where the decisions are made, now Roddy Piper might be the original Outsider (before it was the cool thing to have on a T-shirt) now I'm working for Jr. again I get to help change the product.
Piper's back and in a big way, I'll be wrestling alongside Hulk Hogan, Vince McMahon and Jimmy Hart in a tag team match on the next PPV.
I've heard some people write that I haven't got another match in me after my car accident. Well let me tell you all something, I've always got another ass kicking in me for Hulk Hogan.
I'm not a hypocrite, I'm actually doing something for this industry I love and that needs fixing. If you want to support my cause than get to one of the following shows I'm booked at to see Piper live.
April 15 - Norfolk, Virginia - Smackdown Taping April 22 - Nashville, Tennessee - Smackdown Taping April 27 - Worcester, Massachusetts - Backlash PPV April 29 - Manchester, New Hampshire - Smackdown Taping May 6 - Halifax, Nova Scotia - Smackdown Taping May 13 - Baltimore, Maryland - Smackdown Taping May 20 - Greensboro, North Carolina - Smackdown Taping May 27 - Pensacola, Florida - Smackdown Taping
I'm not shocked at all if they really are bringing Piper in on the production meetings. I think that's a sign of just how desperate Vince has become at this point. I'm not saying either though that having Piper there is a bad thing. I love Hot Rod. And I mean, if what he says is true and he's really gonna try to convince them to cut back on the sports entertainment stuff, then maybe there will be some improvement (with more concentration on athleticism, hopefully.)
Also, I found it kind of odd when he said he'll be teaming "alongside" Hogan, Vince, and Jimmy? I'm assuming he means him and Vince vs. Hogan and Jimmy though.
I guess all I/we can do is sit back and see what the Piper can do.
No, no, no. A hippopotamus. And now we're going to see a wrestling hippopotamus, unfortunately.
As far as creative goes, Piper will be dropped before he has any influence over what happens. While he may be able to stand toe to toe with Vince, Vince can always send him packing at the drop of a hat.
So, he's coming up with a young guy who he thinks he can help bring up, and the name that pops into his head is Josh Matthews. You know...the guy who quit wrestling because he thought he was a better announcer. And Piper is coming up with a scenario that he's going to try to block, and he comes up with the Stinkface. A move that EVERYBODY in the company has already taken.
Piper's goals are noble, if a little uninformed or misguided. Which pretty much sums up the past few years of his career, if you think about it.
I was a huge fan of Piper's Pit when I was younger (as well as a huge Piper fan), and if there's a place for Roddy in today's business, that's it. I'm a little bit wary about hearing him do anything else. We'll see what happens, I guess.
Satire 03/31/03 (wienerboard.com) <- No kidding, right? Buffy 7.17 gets a 7.87 So...Spike and Wood have Oedipus complexes...riiiiight...
I was just about to post what would have been IMHO an immensely humorous and strikingly witty reply dripping in sarcasm until I was directed to this article (411mania.com) stating that the "press release" by Roddy Piper was in fact a fake. Oh well, some of my best work now worthless!
(edited by Downtown Bookie on 6.4.03 1530) Patiently waiting to be Stratusfied.
I just love how he can't wait to insult Trish Stratus and Victoria, while forgetting that either of them completely embarass him in terms or wrestling skill (and yes, I remember his 'old days' before the first 6 retirement matches).
Yeah, I'm sure he'll get along GREAT with the people backstage. I set the over/under on the 'creative' lasting at 3 weeks.
Wrestling exists in the eternal present. What is, has always been, and when it no longer is, it never was. It has no past and no future, and sometimes even today is in question. - Madame Manga
(Extra credit if you're familiar with the term, 'cause Piper showed all the symptoms in his Confidential interview. The man's in sad shape, and putting him on regular TV will only result in embarassment for all concerned.)
This, I think, is where we need an objective voice of reason, such as Hot Newz, to teach us right from wrong. If he was still around, he'd sort this mess out....
"Triple H, The Rock says they didn't keep you at the bottom of the barrel just because you wanted to say goodbye to your roody poo friends in Madison Square Garden. No! The Rock says, they kept you at the bottom of the barrel because you absolutely suck."
Of course, Zach Gowen could make his return as Pegleg Pete, the one legged pirate. Or, they could bring back Jean Pierre Lafitte- the evil pirate who stole Bret Hart's leather jacket...or something like that. "A Pirate?