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The W - Pro Wrestling - Ring of Honor funny
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The Amazing Salami
Sujuk








Since: 23.5.02
From: Oklahoma

Since last post: 7222 days
Last activity: 7221 days
#1 Posted on
OK, so I'm reading this press release talking about their Code of Honor (which sounds remarkably like the American Legion Baseball Mantra).

It's all this gooey stuff about Honory and Glory, Fights Without Honor ... until they get to the actual wrestlers. Two or three matches in, they hype a match between Da Hit Squad and some other guy. I never got to who the other guy was because I was laughing so hard about the strangeness of a fed trying to be all uppity with their Honor and Glory bullshit speeches but has a wrestler named Da Hit Squad in one of their top matches. DA HIT SQUAD.

Sorry this took so long to explain. Hope I'm not the only one who thought this was funny.





"You're always 17 in your hometown." - Cross Canadian Ragweed
Promote this thread!
Jim LotFP
Linguica








Since: 9.1.02
From: Atlanta

Since last post: 7181 days
Last activity: 7179 days
#2 Posted on

    Originally posted by The Amazing Salami
    OK, so I'm reading this press release talking about their Code of Honor (which sounds remarkably like the American Legion Baseball Mantra).

    It's all this gooey stuff about Honory and Glory, Fights Without Honor ... until they get to the actual wrestlers. Two or three matches in, they hype a match between Da Hit Squad and some other guy. I never got to who the other guy was because I was laughing so hard about the strangeness of a fed trying to be all uppity with their Honor and Glory bullshit speeches but has a wrestler named Da Hit Squad in one of their top matches. DA HIT SQUAD.

    Sorry this took so long to explain. Hope I'm not the only one who thought this was funny.




It's a tag team name.

For Monsta Mack and Mafia I think their names are.

They pretty much suck and have been extremely one-dimensional on the shows I've watched with them, but are pretty entertaining as far as just stiffing the shit out of people. Probably why they don't go against the 'real' wrestlers in the promotion.




--
Lamentations of the Flame Princess
Weekly Metal Newsletter http://lotfp.cjb.net
The Amazing Salami
Sujuk








Since: 23.5.02
From: Oklahoma

Since last post: 7222 days
Last activity: 7221 days
#3 Posted on

    Originally posted by Jim LotFP

      Originally posted by The Amazing Salami
      OK, so I'm reading this press release talking about their Code of Honor (which sounds remarkably like the American Legion Baseball Mantra).

      It's all this gooey stuff about Honory and Glory, Fights Without Honor ... until they get to the actual wrestlers. Two or three matches in, they hype a match between Da Hit Squad and some other guy. I never got to who the other guy was because I was laughing so hard about the strangeness of a fed trying to be all uppity with their Honor and Glory bullshit speeches but has a wrestler named Da Hit Squad in one of their top matches. DA HIT SQUAD.

      Sorry this took so long to explain. Hope I'm not the only one who thought this was funny.




    It's a tag team name.

    For Monsta Mack and Mafia I think their names are.

    They pretty much suck and have been extremely one-dimensional on the shows I've watched with them, but are pretty entertaining as far as just stiffing the shit out of people. Probably why they don't go against the 'real' wrestlers in the promotion.



Oh My God. Even funnier. DA HIT SQUAD is a tag team with a guy named Monsta Mack. HAHAHAHA. You couldn't make stuff up funnier than that.



"You're always 17 in your hometown." - Cross Canadian Ragweed
VK Wallstreet
Goetta








Since: 18.6.02
From: New York, NY, USA

Since last post: 7773 days
Last activity: 7772 days
#4 Posted on
The fact of the matter is that Rob Feinstein is stupid. Typical Internet mark. Thinks the typical fan goes ga-ga over honor and glory and "mutual respect," when of course, what fans really want to see is blood and ass kicking. The WWF really hit on that with the Attitude thing ("Sportsmanship? What a load of crap") while ECW cornered the market on Internetty code-of-honor shit. (For the record, I always liked ECW, but it was admittedly stupid sometimes.)



¡Azúcar, flores y muchos colores! Estos fueron los ingredientes elegidos para crear a la niñita perfecta. Pero el profesor Utonio agrego accidentalmente otro ingrediente a la formula: ¡la sustancia X! Y así nacieron, ¡las Chicas Superpoderosas! ¡Con sus ultra súper poderes, Bombón, Burbuja y Bellota dedican su vida a combatir el crimen y las fuerzas del mal!
Scorpio
Boudin rouge








Since: 18.2.02
From: Laurel, MD, USA

Since last post: 7299 days
Last activity: 7250 days
#5 Posted on
I note Monsta Mack by Sir Mix-A-Lot is one of the best songs EVER WRITTEN.



PMMJ

"Nothing remains interesting where anything may happen." -H.G. Wells
"Show me the country in which there are no strikes and I'll show you that country in which there is no liberty." -Emma Goldman

Confusatron
Braunschweiger








Since: 30.8.02
From: Orlando, FL

Since last post: 7844 days
Last activity: 7838 days
#6 Posted on
Building a promotion around the 'Code of Honor' gimmick holds even less weight when you have Low-Ki be the spokesman who introduces the Code on your first show, only to be EXPOSED as a hypocrite later. Apparently the 'Code of Honor' says NOTHING about giving Tammy her seat back.
Ubermonkeys
Frankfurter








Since: 2.1.02
From: Michigan

Since last post: 6953 days
Last activity: 6827 days
#7 Posted on
He should have kicked her in the god damn head and then given the same speech to Candido about how he "respects him" as he walked away laughing. The whole thing sounded like a scene from Roseanne- just because somebody takes your chair- yes, it's annoying- but you don't hit them with a shoe.

The real issue is that Low Ki didn't have enough sense to pick a chair NOT covered with a disease-infested wet spot on it.



KICK A LESBIAN IN THE RIBS AND WIN A PRIZE!!

Jim LotFP
Linguica








Since: 9.1.02
From: Atlanta

Since last post: 7181 days
Last activity: 7179 days
#8 Posted on

    Originally posted by VK Wallstreet
    The fact of the matter is that Rob Feinstein is stupid. Typical Internet mark. Thinks the typical fan goes ga-ga over honor and glory and "mutual respect," when of course, what fans really want to see is blood and ass kicking. The WWF really hit on that with the Attitude thing ("Sportsmanship? What a load of crap") while ECW cornered the market on Internetty code-of-honor shit. (For the record, I always liked ECW, but it was admittedly stupid sometimes.)


Why should I care what the typical fan thinks? I stopped really watching wrestling week-to-week when they screwed Hart, and just shut it off completely when the Russo way got hot.

(and since when did ECW have code-of-honor shit?)

Ring of Honor gives the best in-ring wrestling I've seen in forever. Doesn't mean I like 100% of what I see. I don't like that they have any garbage brawls and gimmicks like the Christopher Street Connection.

But as long as the tapes have more good than bad, always with something amazing... I'll keep ordering them.

This is the first I've heard of the Low-Ki/Tammy thing, and I must say I couldn't care less. What does that have to do with ANYTHING?

Low-Ki just had his first tour of Japan, and got whatever Jr. Hvy. title Zero-One's got right now. I really hope he catches on and is able to make a living and never has to go WWE.





--
Lamentations of the Flame Princess
Weekly Metal Newsletter http://lotfp.cjb.net
Oliver
Scrapple








Since: 20.6.02

Since last post: 3305 days
Last activity: 3299 days
#9 Posted on
    Originally posted by Scorpio
    I note Monsta Mack by Sir Mix-A-Lot is one of the best songs EVER WRITTEN.
You mean this one?

raggedly runnin' for hills 'cause the mack is back,
i'm hookin' up girls by fax,
if you're stacked, you can rub a big mack,
i gotta get some so don't worry 'bout scraps, oh no!

five foot eleven with a seven foot game,
got a big mouthpiece and i show no shame,
monsta kinky, have no morals,
monsta love to get oral, mmmm!

ducked and cause and the girls like that,
i was born and bred to be a mack.
what's your sign is played,
you gotta put a little style in your game nowadays.

in the sixties girls was all high,
lsd had 'em givin' up thighs,
the baby boom was on and i dropped,
no more woodstock, but now ya got mix-a-lot!

so put me in your cd changer,
watch your girl 'cause mix 'll re-arrange her,
ooh he sexist, ooh he sexist,
keepin' ol' rush limbaugh restless,

i'm a mack and that's monsta,
straight chase girls through the tail 'cause i won't stop,
you can call it whacked but you respect this black,
when it comes to game,

i'm a monsta mack.
big name, but the mix-a-lot game is tough,
big name, but the mix-a-lot game is tough,
i'm a monsta mack.
big name, but the mix-a-lot game is tough,
big name, but the mix-a-lot game is tough,

(strike the pose) but she ain't nasty as me,
'cause mix-a-lot is stuck on freaky,
can't stop tappin' that tweety,
givin' to the needy,
nope, 'cause i'm too damn greedy,

here i go, walkin' through the mall,
don't play ball, but i got game for 'em all,
funky's on a victim, funky's on a victim,
mister richard is hot so let's sick him,

and like a tomahawk, jumpin' on a scud,
girl you got to give me my pud,
the pick-up king is back buddy,
tryin' to give lessons
to these fake-ass ballers and understudies,

but i'm not tryin' to call ya no bitch girl,
don't give a damn if you're poor or rich girl,
and we can play a little pool,
i'm pokin' that 8-ball cool,

and the booties, i still like the booties,
she got a little waist,
doin' squats just to keep me on my duty,
giant size game's what i'm droppin',
straight freaks with those big-ol' glutz' is what i'm knockin',

now the right wing wanna test me,
if likin' sex is a crime then you arrest me,
but don't tell me who to sing to jack,
'cause a third of your life is in the sack,

i'm a monsta mack.
want more buddy, want more buddy,
but the mix-a-lot game is tough,
want more buddy, want more buddy,
but the mix-a-lot game is tough,
i'm a monsta mack.
yeah, lookin' for sex, but the mix-a-lot game is tough,
lookin' for sex, but the mix-a-lot game is tough.

drivin' my car by the bus stop,
'til i spot a young cutie straight suckin' down a soda pop,
baby girl's winkin', mix-a-lot's thinkin',
i hope this girl's feet ain't stinkin'

yippee yo, swingin' my frame was to get a little soul food,
now ya got a brother in the mood,
damn, gotta get a-home with the quickness,
'cause this thickness boy on a witness,

no need, to put my girls on tilt,
'cause straight up game 'll get ya milked,
the nasty dog is back, with straight pimp game,
black, i ain't no shame,

i'm a monsta mack.
but the mix-a-lot game is tough,
monsta mack, fool!
but the mix-a-lot game is tough,
i'm the monsta mack.
but the mix-a-lot game is tough,
monsta mack, with big game baby,
but the mix-a-lot game is tough.

Sorry...not as good as BABY GOT BACK...LOL

(edited by SOK on 26.9.02 1906)

Storm 1:08 says Air Canada sucks!
Mild Mannered Madman
Toulouse








Since: 1.3.02
From: Westminster, CA

Since last post: 3904 days
Last activity: 150 days
#10 Posted on
    Originally posted by Jim LotFP
    Low-Ki just had his first tour of Japan, and got whatever Jr. Hvy. title Zero-One's got right now. I really hope he catches on and is able to make a living and never has to go WWE.




The title's name is the NWA International/UPW/Zero One Junior Heavyweight Title. I'm SO glad I don't have to announce this at a show. =)

And the WWE has gone on record that they don't like Low Ki' and American Dragon's shoot style wrestling, despite giving Low Ki' a number of Jakked matches. I'd recommend he follow the American Dragon route and move to L.A. and work in the New Japan Dojo. It seems to have worked for the folks training there so far (American Dragon, Ricky Reyes, Rocky Romero, Jack Bull)


(edited by Mild Mannered Madman on 26.9.02 1852)



We're all mad here... I'm mad... You're mad...
Quezzy
Scrapple








Since: 6.1.02
From: Pittsburgh, PA

Since last post: 1899 days
Last activity: 1898 days
#11 Posted on

    Originally posted by The Amazing Salami

      Originally posted by Jim LotFP

        Originally posted by The Amazing Salami
        OK, so I'm reading this press release talking about their Code of Honor (which sounds remarkably like the American Legion Baseball Mantra).

        It's all this gooey stuff about Honory and Glory, Fights Without Honor ... until they get to the actual wrestlers. Two or three matches in, they hype a match between Da Hit Squad and some other guy. I never got to who the other guy was because I was laughing so hard about the strangeness of a fed trying to be all uppity with their Honor and Glory bullshit speeches but has a wrestler named Da Hit Squad in one of their top matches. DA HIT SQUAD.

        Sorry this took so long to explain. Hope I'm not the only one who thought this was funny.




      It's a tag team name.

      For Monsta Mack and Mafia I think their names are.

      They pretty much suck and have been extremely one-dimensional on the shows I've watched with them, but are pretty entertaining as far as just stiffing the shit out of people. Probably why they don't go against the 'real' wrestlers in the promotion.



    Oh My God. Even funnier. DA HIT SQUAD is a tag team with a guy named Monsta Mack. HAHAHAHA. You couldn't make stuff up funnier than that.



I bet I could...

Let's say there is a guy who goes on a message board posting about how stupid someone else's name is!

And the best part is HIS name is the Amazing Salami!

HAHAHAHAHA!!



Lance's Response:

THAT IS AWESOME!
WhoBettahThanDeion
Bockwurst








Since: 4.1.02

Since last post: 7818 days
Last activity: 7654 days
#12 Posted on
Hey Yo...

In response to the above, Low Ki HAS been to the WWF, as noted above earlier. I'll give the guy credit, he's good. But, there's a fine line between entertainer and wrestler. WWE has tons of good wrestlers, it's being able to be a character that seperates the WWE guys from a lot of feds. And it's not only doing a character and doing it well. Low Ki was awesome, but wouldn't fit in at the medium to upper levels, he just has little character. I personally think AJ Styles has no character either. Watching him try to act all heel las week on NWA was just plain laughable.

I'll give these guys credit, they're pretty good, but it's the ability to be "larger than life" and entertaining as hell in and out of the ring that seperates the two. No dig on that kind of wrestling, I'm not into the act of wrestling as much as I am the guys themselves and their characters that get me into the feuds. Kurt Angle giving me a reason to care about his fights is what it's all about to me. I still like the matches, but without the drama it's just not the same (to me, anyways).



"Gay people LOVE ME!" -Kurt Angle

"Pootie Tang? More like Dootie Tang!" -Chris Rock
VK Wallstreet
Goetta








Since: 18.6.02
From: New York, NY, USA

Since last post: 7773 days
Last activity: 7772 days
#13 Posted on
Hey!

From a leading wrestling news site that will remain nameless:

--Ring Of Honor has modified their "Code of Honor" rules that regulate all competition within the Philly-based fed. These five Laws Of Honor are intended to promote sportsmanship, respect and honor inside the wrestling ring. The rules are:

-Competitors must shake hands before and after their match.
-No interfering in matches or having others interfere on your behalf.
-No harming a referee or causing others to harm an official.
-No sneak attacks.
-If you are disqualified in your match, you have broken The Code Of Honor.


Pffffffff! This is a bunch of horseshit. Who wants to see this? Certainly not me. I strongly suspect this is not an angle, either -- i.e. create a heel who openly flouts the Sacred Code.

Here's the thing: The Code of Honor would be an admirable addition to the wrestling business if wrestling were real, which it is not. Otherwise, what's the point? To make the shows less entertaining? More family-friendly, perhaps? Keep in mind ROH is run by a guy who portrays the "Fun Athletic Guy" (you figure it out) at finer indies everywhere.



¡Azúcar, flores y muchos colores! Estos fueron los ingredientes elegidos para crear a la niñita perfecta. Pero el profesor Utonio agrego accidentalmente otro ingrediente a la formula: ¡la sustancia X! Y así nacieron, ¡las Chicas Superpoderosas! ¡Con sus ultra súper poderes, Bombón, Burbuja y Bellota dedican su vida a combatir el crimen y las fuerzas del mal!
Mild Mannered Madman
Toulouse








Since: 1.3.02
From: Westminster, CA

Since last post: 3904 days
Last activity: 150 days
#14 Posted on

    Originally posted by VK Wallstreet
    Hey!

    From a leading wrestling news site that will remain nameless:

    --Ring Of Honor has modified their "Code of Honor" rules that regulate all competition within the Philly-based fed. These five Laws Of Honor are intended to promote sportsmanship, respect and honor inside the wrestling ring. The rules are:

    -Competitors must shake hands before and after their match.
    -No interfering in matches or having others interfere on your behalf.
    -No harming a referee or causing others to harm an official.
    -No sneak attacks.
    -If you are disqualified in your match, you have broken The Code Of Honor.


    Pffffffff! This is a bunch of horseshit. Who wants to see this? Certainly not me. I strongly suspect this is not an angle, either -- i.e. create a heel who openly flouts the Sacred Code



They did. "Fallen Angel" Christopher Daniels.





Listen to Filler Bunny...
The Amazing Salami
Sujuk








Since: 23.5.02
From: Oklahoma

Since last post: 7222 days
Last activity: 7221 days
#15 Posted on

    Originally posted by Quezzy

      Originally posted by The Amazing Salami

        Originally posted by Jim LotFP

          Originally posted by The Amazing Salami
          OK, so I'm reading this press release talking about their Code of Honor (which sounds remarkably like the American Legion Baseball Mantra).

          It's all this gooey stuff about Honory and Glory, Fights Without Honor ... until they get to the actual wrestlers. Two or three matches in, they hype a match between Da Hit Squad and some other guy. I never got to who the other guy was because I was laughing so hard about the strangeness of a fed trying to be all uppity with their Honor and Glory bullshit speeches but has a wrestler named Da Hit Squad in one of their top matches. DA HIT SQUAD.

          Sorry this took so long to explain. Hope I'm not the only one who thought this was funny.




        It's a tag team name.

        For Monsta Mack and Mafia I think their names are.

        They pretty much suck and have been extremely one-dimensional on the shows I've watched with them, but are pretty entertaining as far as just stiffing the shit out of people. Probably why they don't go against the 'real' wrestlers in the promotion.



      Oh My God. Even funnier. DA HIT SQUAD is a tag team with a guy named Monsta Mack. HAHAHAHA. You couldn't make stuff up funnier than that.



    I bet I could...

    Let's say there is a guy who goes on a message board posting about how stupid someone else's name is!

    And the best part is HIS name is the Amazing Salami!

    HAHAHAHAHA!!



This is like the fourth time in the last month or so that someone has made some gae comment about my name being weird. Get over it already.

The point was that they are trying to be all NOBLE and shit with their whole RING OF HONOR and GLORY bullshit ... AND they have guys named Monsta Mack and DA HIT SQUAD mixed in the middle of all that.

It would be like me posting on a Bar Association board discussing corporate tax law under the name The Amazing Salami.

As it is, on a freakin' pro wrestling board, the name is fine.

It's too bad I had to over-explain this because a few people (or maybe just one person) has the comprehension of a six-year old. On second thought, maybe six years is setting expectations too high. Asshole.



"You're always 17 in your hometown." - Cross Canadian Ragweed
Dr Unlikely
Liverwurst








Since: 2.1.02

Since last post: 2162 days
Last activity: 1769 days
#16 Posted on
You're missing what makes this so cool - the greatest stipulation match in the history of professional wrestling. At an upcoming show, Daniels will take on an opponent and the stipulation for the match is that, if Daniels wins, he must shake his opponent's hand. But if Daniels loses, his opponent is never allowed to shake hands again.

His opponent is never allowed to shake hands again! Holy crap! What if his opponent loses but in the future needs to make some sort of important gentleman's agreement on a real estate deal? Or what if he needs to get into some secret clubhouse, but can only do so if he does the secret handshake? This is the kind of thing that a man goes all out for, the kind of thing that motivates you to put it all on the line.

It would be cool if his opponent shows his confidence by purchasing a brand new joybuzzer right before the match, so sure is he that he will defeat that no-good Daniels and be able make hilarious prank-related use out of it for years to come. But the tension would be there that he might lose, and that it might end up with a heartbroken Dick Togo staring wistfully at the joybuzzer he never got to delightfully spring on his friends and co-workers. That's the stuff of epic storytelling.

I don't see any reason to get worked up about it. I've never seen any of the Ring of Honor stuff, but it's just an angle to make the bad guys bad because they're evil and won't shake hands, and you get really funny stipulations like this. Oh man, somebody doing the bit where you go to shake hands and and then pull your hand away and run it through your hair to indicate that the other guy was "too slow!" could be the new fireball to the face. Smooth.
The Amazing Salami
Sujuk








Since: 23.5.02
From: Oklahoma

Since last post: 7222 days
Last activity: 7221 days
#17 Posted on
(sarcasm) I can't believe you're making fun of something when your name is Dr Unlikely. (/sarcasm)

(edited by The Amazing Salami on 27.9.02 1324)

"You're always 17 in your hometown." - Cross Canadian Ragweed
Jim LotFP
Linguica








Since: 9.1.02
From: Atlanta

Since last post: 7181 days
Last activity: 7179 days
#18 Posted on

    Originally posted by VK Wallstreet
    Hey!

    what's the point? To make the shows less entertaining?



Do you find outside interference entertaining? I don't, EVER.

Do you find ref bumps entertaining? I don't, EVER.

Do you find DQ endings entertaining? I don't, EVER.

Sneak attacks, eh, as a backstage angle I don't care, but if it means a guy stumbles out and half-works his match and sells the whole time, I don't find that entertaining, EVER.

I think the 'code of honor' is more of a way of telling people, "You will see WRESTLING with clean finishes on our shows."

If they'd just fire Da Hit Squad and Natural Born Sinners (Homocide happens to also be the worst talker I have ever heard...) I'd be quite happy.
Hell, I'd also eliminate all mic work in the ring as well.

Just frickin wrestle... please... someone... anyone?

*cries for All Japan*





--
Lamentations of the Flame Princess
Weekly Metal Newsletter http://lotfp.cjb.net
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