TNA and The Hardys put together a wrestling masterpiece.
Highlights include
Jeff being attacked by drones at home
Jeff attacking drones with a guitar.
A Matt Hardy hologram appearing from a super drone threatening Jeff.
Jeff chasing the super drone on his dirt bike.
Matt Hardy laughing maniacally on a riding lawn mower.
This all happened before the match.
The match itself started with Matt questioning a referee's credentials and then playing a violin. Jeff showed up and the two of them then wrestled to generic rock music until Jeff hit a Swanton from a tree onto Matt who was on a ladder for only two. (Jeff caught mostly ladder). It spilled out to the floor where Matt shot off high powered Roman Candles at Jeff leaving an eerie smoke filled scene. As Matt spoke of Jeff's demise he stopped dead in his tracks, lost his accent and said, "Oh, shit" and ran for the hills as Jeff had his own high powered Roman Candles that he fired at Matt who hid underneath a "dilapidated boat".
The battle spilled into the creek where once again Matt claimed victory only this time he was attacked from behind by Willow who gained the upper hand until Senor Benjamin, the gardener, hit Willow with a pink taser. Matt regained himself, called for the official and got a three only when he took Willow's mask off it was Senor Benjamin and not Jeff.
Somehow Jeff and Matt end up on a dirt bike track. Jeff has Matt down and climbs a ten foot Hardy symbol and is about to finish this when a mystical Reby shows up handing Matt his son's 1 year old birthday candle that is used to start a huge fire up the symbol sending Jeff crashing into the dirt. Matt goes for a cover and gets the victory.
Bravo. If I ever have a fight with my brother I hope it looks something like this. I have been in a real shitty wrestling mood lately, but this pleased me greatly. It felt like an event, and Impact was actually pretty good again. Lashley vs Edwards will be fun. Final Deletion ruled. Seek it out. It's outside the box ... way outside the box, but wrestling needs that.
Also before the match: Maxel's birthday party where Matt describes 1 of his son's gifts as an "extraordinary xylophone."
I hadn't really seen footage of this feud since the baby-throwing video...when did Matt start trying to do ALL THE ACCENTS at the same time?
But yeah - wow - this was (hopefully) a once-in-a-lifetime, outside the box wrestling match that you kinda need to see to appreciate the true absurdity of it all.
I also was expecting this insanity to take up a bit more of the show so I ended up watching more of an episode of Impact than I ever had before...
TNA Final Deletion or WHEN ARE THEY GOING TO GET TO THE FIREWORKS FACTORY?
As an episode of Impact Wrestling looking to piggyback off the Sharknado of Wrestling that only the Hardys could bring, this is probably a failure. The Ultimate X match was pretty eh, I think I actually fell asleep during James Storm vs. Some Guy, nobody new stood out to me as somebody I'd want to watch, nor did any of the older people I'd recognize. (Lashley still looks like a guy who should be Vince's ultimate champion and is a more confident talker, so that's good, and I'm already familiar with and love ECIII.)
Sending out Dixie Carter felt like a terrible move, as a signal of "it's still TNA", but we did get the debut(?) of Authority Figure And Possibly Heel Billy Corgan, which was something I am extremely glad I can say I've seen regardless of whether it's a good thing or not.
But we're here for the Hardys, and the Final Deletion. The match itself was kind of a letdown (Jeff Hardy climbing a ladder to climb a tree to do a swanton onto his brother but mostly landing on a second ladder is about the Most Jeff Hardy Thing possible.) But the lead-up segments were pretty much worth the whole thing.
Most of the highlights have been hit ("extraordinary xylophone" was a personal favorite of mine, too), but the peak was probably the middle segment where we saw Jeff doing elaborate lawncare art, only to be attacked by Matt's "fleet" of drones, captained by his fleet's flagship, the...Vangaurd 1. (Yes, it was spelled onscreen in the V1's own HUD as "Vangaurd" and not "Vanguard", which is probably proof that Matt is in on the joke.) The Matt Hardy Hologram is truly a high-point of...something. Anyway, yeah, Matt has a fleet of killer attack drones led by one with incredible futuristic technology, which he uses to distract his brother so he can mess up his lawn.
I wanted to complain that Matt Hardy's Evil Baby didn't physically figure into the match, but his Ghost Birthday Candle leading directly to the finish (and the meta-brilliance of booking a Matt/Jeff match to end with Jeff accidentally falling off something) probably makes up for it.
Señor Benjamin is the Sensational Character Find of 2016. What a guy. Every line he had, every second he was onscreen, just amazing.
Originally posted by Dr UnlikelySeñor Benjamin is the Sensational Character Find of 2016. What a guy. Every line he had, every second he was onscreen, just amazing.
Order your Brother Nero & Señor Benjamin t-shirts today.
I had been following the Hardy insanity from a distance, but the hype got me to actually watch this episode of Impact. Maybe it's my boredom with the WWE's pre-draft holding pattern and Lucha Underground's "not as good as the first" second season, but I really enjoyed the show. It still has the air of TNA-ness (Josh Matthews' voice, the Dixie/Billy stuff) that has kept me from being a full-time fan, but the in-ring stuff was solid. And I like seeing indie guys get TV time.
I was entertained enough to want to come back for DestinationX. I tweeted as such, and they immediately retweeted me. So, I guess I'm labeled a TNA fan in the eyes of Twitter now. Oh well, whatever, it was fun. Props to the Hardys for putting together something genuinely entertaining.
I could find absolutely nothing wrong with this entire segment. I loved every minute of it. Bad acting. Overacting. Bring it on. Violins. Xylophones. Guitars. I want more.
I will watch this whenever I am having a bad day and need to feel good. I loved it that much.
Life is hilariously cruel.
It ain't the six minutes... it's what happens in that six minutes.
The Señor Benjamin "no intente esto en casa" warning at the beginning, followed by the spanish fiesta for the villainous 1 year old Maxel has to mark up there as the most unexpected intro since Bischoff's infamous acoustic guitar segment.
Shades of Al Wilson.
Vangaurd 1 (v.1)'s "Brother Nero" tracker screen was filled with "blink if you miss them" Mattitude facts about how Jeff sucks. ("Phony Twist of Fate", "Likes to Play Guitar and Paint", etc.)
Hologram v.br0ken Matt was the highpoint of this show filled with mastery.
I seriously must have missed something here, because I was just not getting the appeal of this entire angle at ALL. It just sailed through "entertainingly awful" to just unentertaining.
You wanted the best, you got... the Out of Context Quote of the Week.
"And this has been your Comfortable with his Sexuality Update." (Stefonics)
This is absolutely the best kind of Wrestlecrap. I love everything about this. I want WWE to rehire the Hardys just to give them an hour show a week on the Network of this insanity.
Originally posted by drjayphdI seriously must have missed something here, because I was just not getting the appeal of this entire angle at ALL. It just sailed through "entertainingly awful" to just unentertaining.
I agree. I was hoping to see something that was "so bad it's good" but I thought it was just bad. Oh well, whatever floats their boat.
Originally posted by QuezzyI agree. I was hoping to see something that was "so bad it's good" but I thought it was just bad. Oh well, whatever floats their boat.