"As you may have read in Robert Parker's Wine Newsletter, 'Donaghy Estates tastes like the urine of Satan, after a hefty portion of asparagus.'" Jack Donaghy, 30 Rock
I honestly keep forgetting about these PPV's nowadays.
John Cena vs. Ryback, Three Stages of Hell Match for the WWE Championship: After that first Sid-esque promo with Mick Foley, Ryback has bounced back in ways I couldn't have imagined and has become a damn good heel. Naturally, he's going to lose two out of three here. CM Punk attacks Cena post-match to blow the roof off the United Center and set up their next feud.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Alberto Del Rio, World Championship Match: I can't imagine this match lasting long. A cluster of interference from Big E, AJ, and Ricardo lead to Dolph getting the cheap roll-up win. This feud MUST continue!
Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns vs. Daniel Bryan & Randy Orton, Tag Team Championship Match: This match is going to be a game-changer. Face miscommunication leads to the Shield retaining, most likely from Orton making another blind tag, like he did at Wrestlemania. Orton kills Bryan after the match to FINALLY turn heel and also send Bryan on the face run of a lifetime.
Dean Ambrose vs. Kane, United States Championship Match: Shield-erference backfires and Orton (fresh off his heel turn) wipes out Kane with the RKO to help Ambrose retain.
Wade Barrett vs. The Miz vs. Curtis Axel, Triple Threat Match for the Intercontinental Championship: Triple H destroys Axel to remove him from the match. Miz beats Barrett in all the confusion to win the title.
Kaitlyn vs. A.J, Divas Championship Match: Kaitlyn wins in a surprisingly good match.
Chris Jericho vs. C.M. Punk: I will eat my hat if this match happens. Punk no-shows and the United Center nearly riots as a result. Brock Lesnar shows up out of nowhere to destroy Jericho, because sure, why not?
Going quickly, since it is late and I will not be able to watch due to family obligations. It's going to be really tough for me not to watch since there is always a big "oomph" with Chicago PPV's (even the bar I go to watch the PPV's get hotter with these PPV's...I'm in the Chicago area).
Cena/Ryback (WWE Title Match) Stage 1 - Lumberjack match - Ryback by Shellshocked pin Stage 2 - Tables Match - Cena by AA through table Stage 3 - Ambulance Match - Both end up in ambulance, but Cena makes the quick escape and shuts the door to win match. And Cena will get booed out of the building.
Ziggler/Del Rio (World Title Match) - Ziggler by pin after ref-unseen Big E-ference.
Rollins & Reigns/Bryan & Orton (Tag Team Title Match) - Reigns spear after miscommunication. Bryan goes nuts after match and destroys Orton.
Ambrose/Kane (US Title Match) - Ambrose via face-first drive finishing move pin.
Barrett/Miz/Axel (IC Title Triple Threat Match) - Axel over Miz with Perfectplex pin to win title.
Kaitlyn/AJ (Divas Title Match) - Probably not much of a match, AJ by DQ after Kaitlyn does not break.
Jericho/Punk - Punk by GTS pin, will definitely get the most cheers of the night.
Sheamus/Sandow (Kickoff match) - Sheamus by brogue boot pin.
Cena Kaitlyn Ziggler Dean Ambrose Shield Jericho, its not going to be Punk that comes out, but Lesnar. Sheamus Curtis, because well look who is Dad was.
The Wee Baby Sheamus.Twitter: @realjoecarfley its a bit more toned down there. A bit.