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The W - Pro Wrestling - 2013 Royal Rumble Results Thread
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It's False
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Since: 20.6.02
From: I am the Tag Team Champions!

Since last post: 2199 days
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#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.33
Q'n'D
-(Pre-show) Antonio Cesaro d. The Miz with The Neutralizer to retain the United States Championship.
-Alberto Del Rio d. The Big Show to retain the World Heavyweight Championship in a Last Man Standing match after Ricardo duct taped Show's legs to the ropes and Del Rio took out the arm with the cross-armbreaker.
-Team Hell No d. Team Rhodes Scholars to retain the WWE Tag Team Championship with the No! Lock.
-Take one guess who won the Royal Rumble
-The Rock d. CM Punk to win the WWE Championship. Punk initially won the match after Shield-erference (in total darkness), but Vince McMahon restarted the match and Rock won with the People's Elbow.

--------------------------

ANTONIO CESARO v. THE MIZ: UNITED STATES CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
I'm jumping into this one late, getting back in time to watch Miz nail Cesaro with a back elbow and inside cradle. Cesaro comes back by catching Miz's leapfrog with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker (for a big pop) that gets 2! Chinlock is brief, as Miz comes back, but runs into a slam for 2. Cesaro DEADLIFTS Miz into a gutwrench suplex! Miz charges in again, so Cesaro lifts him HIGH into a backbreaker! Cesaro's FEELING IT tonight, baby! Miz suddenly makes the babyface comeback with the neckbreaker. (Or if you're Jack Korpela, "WHATAMOVE!") Miz pounds on Cesaro in the corner and hits the straddling clothesline! Miz comes off the top, but Cesaro catches the leg coming down! That looked nasty! Miz hobbles in, but Cesaro takes him down, but the ref catches the Flair pin! Miz rolls up Cesaro for 2! Cesaro misses a corner charge and Miz sets up the Figure-4 (Woo!). Cesaro boots Miz off, so Miz boots him right back, sending him to the outside. Cesaro drags Miz into the steel ring structure! And the Neutralier is academic to retain the title.

WINNER: Antonio Cesaro - Cesaro was DAMN good here and Miz even played the babyface role pretty well.

And now it's time to start the PPV proper!

WWE FOREVER

We open with a video package for CM Punk/The Rock!

Opening pyro! We are LIVE from the U.S. Airways Center in Phoenix, AZ!

THE BIG SHOW v. ALBERTO DEL RIO (w/RICARDO RODRIGUEZ): WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP LAST MAN STANDING MATCH
Well, there aren't too many matches on the card, so SOMETHING has to jerk the curtain. We look back at three weeks ago, where Del Rio beat Show to win the title in this exact type of match. Backstage, Ricardo expresses concern, but ADR tells him not to worry. Meanwhile, they run into...BRET HART, of all people! Bret says ADR is a Mexican Bret Hart, to which ADR says that Bret's like a Canadian ADR. Ricardo gets caught up in fanboyism, as ADR tells him that they have to go! But before they go, Bret takes out a pair of his glasses and puts it on Ricardo! Awesome! Your hosts are Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and JBL! They introduce our Spanish Announce Team, who will have their table broken soon enough. Ricardo comes out and does the Bret entrance! HA! He introduces ADR for our opening match!

Show overpowers ADR to start. Del Rio tries to come back with strikes, but runs into a clothesline. Show hits a bodyslam and stalls. Here's a big chop. Del Rio tries to come back with another round of strikes, but he comes off the second rope right into a chop. Show hits the corner avalanche, but Del Rio comes right back with a seated dropkick to the knee. Here's a big "¡Si!" chant, as Del Rio hits a standing side kick. Show comes right back with a powerbomb attempt, but it's reversed into a 'rana. Del Rio hits a top-rope seated senton. Del Rio hits the enziguiri early and tries for the jujigatame, but Show simply picks him right up and drops him. Show continues his methodical offense. Show grabs a chair (a regular-sized chair, not his Super Mario Bros. 3 chair) and Del Rio dropkicks it away. Now Del Rio goes to work with the chair! Chairshots gets "¡Si!" chants from the crowd! Del Rio comes off the second rope, but Show catches him with AAAAAAAAAAATHECHOKESLAM!!! Del Rio's up at 9, but falls right back to the outside. Show slams ADR on the outside to start another count. Del Rio gets right back up and goes to the Greco-Roman Kick to the Nuts! Show's up at 9 and hammers away, as the fight moves up the ramp. Show whips ADR into the Rumble set piece! Show grabs a piece of the set and bops Del Rio with it before clearing off some furniture. Now Show climbs the set piece and takes ADR with him, with ONE HAND! Show chucks Del Rio through the table! Del Rio's up at 9...and collapses again. The fight moves back to the ring, where Show calls for the Mayweather Sucker Punch, but Del Rio slides outside to the safety (?) of the announce table. Show follows and grabs the steel steps. He chucks the steps and misses. Ricardo tries to attack from behind, so Show disposes of him easily. Show tries to spear ADR through the timekeeper's area, but misses! Show's up at 9, but ADR has a chair and starts wailing away with it! Del Rio puts Show's arm on the steel steps and whacks it with the chair! Now ADR grabs the fire extinguisher and puts Show's fire out! Del Rio tries to put the arm out of commission with the jujigatame, while Ricardo grabs DUCT TAPE and ties Show's boots to the ropes! Show tries to get up, but his arm's busted and he's completely tied up, so the ref counts to 10!

WINNER: Alberto Del Rio - That was some fun, sneaky heel work from the babyfaces! And I don't mean that as a bad thing, either. This was a fun little opener.

Matt Striker talks to Dolph Ziggler, AJ, and Big E Langston. Dolph chooses #1, because that's exactly what he is. Striker tries to talk and incurs AJ and Big E's wrath. Big E does his best Mean Gene impression and talks to Dolph. Dolph says he's going to win the Rumble tonight after cashing in his briefcase and unify the titles at Wrestlemania. Catch! Phrase!

Your hosts are Michael Cole, JBL, and Jerry Lawler. They shoot off to vignettes from various Rumble participants: Antonio Cesaro, the Prime Time Losers, Randy Orton, John Cena (who, of course, gets booed), Wade Barrett, Sheamus, and Ryback (who informs us that it's 90-second intervals this year).

We take a look back at the YouTube pre-show, where Antonio Cesaro successfully retained his title against The Miz.

TEAM RHODES SCHOLARS v. TEAM HELL NO: WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Rhodes works over Bryan to start, as we shift into a wrestling sequence. Bryan catches Rhodes and clamps on the NO! SURFBOARD~! Kane tags in and dropkicks Rhodes in mid-surfboard for 2. Rhodes comes back with a dropkick and tags out before Kane fights out of the heel corner. Bryan tags in and we get the double-team corner dropkick before Bryan polishes Sandow off with NO! kicks! Sandow tries to come back, but gets a boot to the face. Cody gets dumped and Bryan takes out both Scholars with the suicide dive! Sandow shoves Bryan into the ropes, where Rhodes pulls the ropes down. The heels now work over Bryan. Bryan tries to comeback with a cradle, as the announcers talk mustaches, because of course they do. Sandow hits the Russian legsweep and ELBOW OF DISDAIN~! for 2! Bryan comes back with a kick to the face, but Sandow stops the hot tag. Rhodes goes to the backbreaker submission, but Bryan slips out and clobbers Sandow before planting Rhodes with the DDT! Tags made on both sides and Kane's a house of hellfire! Rhodes runs distraction to stop the top-rope clothesline, but Sandow gets shoved off the top. Top-rope clothesline misses and Sandow hits the swinging neckbreaker for 2! Kane grabs a DOUBLE GOOZLE!, as Bryan makes the blind tag. The Scholars hit a double suplex and Sandow gets caught with a missile dropkick! Rhodes eats a chokeslam, while Bryan finishes Sandow with the NO! Lock to retain the titles!

WINNERS: Team Hell No - Man, they just don't want to give the belts to the Rhodes Scholars, do they? What's the point of such a one-sided feud, especially when the Scholars have proven to be so entertaining?

Promo for the Elimination Chamber. Seriously, they NEED to find another time of the year to hold this PPV, because February is NOT the time to have those matches.

Here's the Royal Rumble By The Numbers video package!

Backstage, Hell No rejoice over their win. But here's Vickie Guerrero to remind us that she's still around. She passes Hell No their numbers. Bryan shows Kane his number. Kane says it's interesting. Bryan wants to see Kane's number, but Kane says no. "It's the rules! I show you mine, you show me yours!" "Trust me, you would feel very inadequate." HA! Kane says he'll see his partner out there. Bryan says he'll see him first, but Kane holds up his number and says that's highly unlikely.

Your hosts are Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and JBL. They talk about the Royal Rumble Fan Fest and the NXT Tournament to determine tonight's NXT rep in the Rumble match. The winner is...Bo Dallas.

And now...it's time (#1)...

30-MAN ROYAL RUMBLE
Of course, your #1 is DOLPH ZIGGLER and he has AJ and Big E Langston with him. Dolph grabs the mic and says he stands alone in the spotlight where he belongs and it'll stay that way when the match ends. Dolph wants #2 NOW! So he gets...HOLY SHIT!!! #2 is CHRIS JERICHO! I certainly didn't see that one coming! Neither did Dolph, obviously, as he's suddenly sweating! Lock-up starts us off. Jericho gets the shoulderblock and Dolph tries to dump him. Jericho lands on the apron and hits a top-rope chop. Dolph gets clotheslined over, but lands on the apron. Dolph goes up top and gets crotched. Jericho tries to shove him out, but Dolph fights to stay in! And we get ready for our next entry, as Jericho hits a superplex!

#3: CODY RHODES
Cody runs right into clotheslines and chops from Jericho, but now the heels work the numbers to their advantage. Jericho fights out of that predicament and gets Cody in the Walls! That does him no good, obviously, as Dolph attacks him from behind. Dolph hits the catapult guillotine.

#4: KOFI KINGSTON
Oh, poor Kofi. He comes in with a springboard clothesline and dropkick on Rhodes. Kofi gets the ten-count punches on Cody. He misses Trouble In Paradise on Dolph. Dolph rubberbands Kofi off the ropes. Now everyone's fighting on the ropes!

#5: SANTINO MARELLA
I sense we're getting the dregs out early. Santino goes after Dolph and then Cody. Cody hangs on! Jericho hangs on! Santino celebrates, but realizes that everyone's still alive. He tries to defend himself with the COBRA~! Kofi charges into it, like an idiot, while Jericho and Cody pair off to take him out. Cody dumps Santino! (ELIMINATED: Santino Marella) Now Kofi's hanging on for dear life on the ropes. Kofi kicks them all off!

#6: DREW McINTYRE
At least McIntyre made it into the match this year. He gets a boot on Kofi and stalls. Kofi, McIntyre, and Jericho fight on the ropes, while Rhodes and Dolph fight on the other side. Dolph nails Jericho with the standing dropkick! Dolph dumps Jericho, but Jericho skins the cat!

#7: TITUS O'NEIL
Titus takes it to Cody and Kofi, but the offensive spurt is short-lived. Titus hits a double-clothesline. DOG BARK! Titus hits the "Millions of Dollars" backbreaker! Jericho lowbridges McIntyre and takes him out with the springboard dropkick! (ELIMINATED: Drew McIntyre) Now Dolph hangs precariously on the ropes, but survives!

#8: GOLDUST
Huge pop for Goldust! And Cody's NOT impressed by his brother's surprise entry. Everyone plays dead, except Cody, and we get the Rhodes face-off immediately to a HUGE pop! Dolph tries to interrupt, but the Rhodes brothers take him out! Goldust tries to take out Cody, but he hangs on. Now everyone pairs off in corners.

#9: DAVID OTUNGA
Otunga greets Goldust with a back elbow and works over Jericho with his roided-up offense. Dolph tries to dump Kofi to no avail. The Rhodes brothers pair off on Titus, but can't quite get him out.

#10: HEATH SLATER
Slater goes after Goldust, as we're rapidly filling up with dead weight. Jericho can't dump Dolph. Whole lot of nothing here.

#11: SHEAMUS
Time to start clearing out deadwood! Irish Curses for Dolph and Cody! Rolling fireman's carries for Slater and Jericho! Titus gets the 10-count chest strikes before getting knocked out. (ELIMINATED: Titus O'Neil) 10-count chest strikes and Brogue Kick end Otunga's night. (ELIINATED: David Otunga)

#12: TENSAI
Tensai greets Sheamus with headbutts. Everyone pairs off again with no eliminations.

#13: BRODUS CLAY
Brodus dances at the entrance and slowly funks his way to the match. Brodus goes after Jericho, while everyone's pairing off. Brodus and Tensai do the big man face-off. We are rapidly fililng up with deadwood again, as I wonder if we're just waiting for Ryback. Goldust tries to eliminate Cody to no avail and now they right on the apron. Cody chucks Goldust into the ring post to eliminate him to huge heat! (ELIMINATED: Goldust)

#14: REY MYSTERIO
Fresh off the injured list! Dolph gets a kick to the face! 619 for Dolph! 619 for Jericho! Camera and annoncers can barely keep up, as Rey Drops the Dime on Jericho!

#15: DARREN YOUNG
Young joins everyone ganging up on Brodus Clay, as Brodus gets toppled over! (ELIMINATED: Brodus Clay) Meanwhile, Kofi lowbridges Tensai to send him out! (ELIMINATED: Tensai) Kofi gets knocked out, but he saves himself by landing on Tensai's back! Tensai throws Kofi on the Spanish announce table! Kofi gets to his feet, as all eyes are on him! Kofi's asking for JBL's chair, as we count down!

#16: BO DALLAS
As the NXT rep comes in, Kofi sets up JBL's chair! Kofi pogo sticks off of JBL's chair to get himself back to the apron! Nicely done, but it can't touch the bonkers spot from last year. Young charges in and gets lowbridged! (ELIMINATED: Darren Young) As Kofi tries to come in, Rhodes nails him with the Disaster Kick to send him out to ANOTHER round of huge heel heat! (ELIMINATED: Kofi Kingston)

#17: THE GODFATHER
The Godfather gets a huge pop and comes out with a pair of PG-rated escorts! Godfather comes in and is IMMEDIATELY eliminated by a Dolph dropkick! Oops! (ELIMINATED: The Godfather) "I don't think he ever lasted that short," says Cole. HA! The music continues playing all the way through Godfather's walk back up the ramp.

#18: WADE BARRETT
Barrett goes after Jericho and Slater. He catches Sheamus with the Boss Man Slam!

#19: JOHN CENA
John Cena comes out to big heel heat and I guess it's time to eliminate more deadwood. The heels literally STOP and prepare to ambush Cena. Everyone gangs up on Cena, but NO ONE CAN STOP SUPERCENA! Crowd boos the shit out of Cena no-selling a 4-on-1 onslaught. So long, Slater! (ELIMINATED: Heath Slater) Goodbye, Cody! (ELIMINATED: Cody Rhodes) Dolph saves Jericho from the power of Fruity Pebbles! Dallas, of all people, tries to eliminate Cena, but gets nowhere.

#20: DAMIEN SANDOW
Sandow stomps away on Dallas. Rey climbs the turnbuckles and gets caught by Barrett. They both nearly spill, but survive...until Barrett sidekicks Rey out. (ELIMINATED: Rey Mysterio) Sheamus tries to avenge Rey by stomping on Barrett! Jericho gets the Walls on Cena to a HUGE pop!

#21: DANIEL BRYAN
Bryan wastes no time going after Sandow with NO! kicks! Dolph interrupts and eats his own NO! kicks! Barrett interrupts that and HE eats NO! kicks for his troubles! Bryan and Sheamus gang up on Jericho, but he BARELY hangs on!

#22: ANTONIO CESARO
Cesaro goes after Barrett and Bryan. Everyone pairs off, as we're filling up with bodies again. Cole notes that Bo Dallas has lasted 10 minutes, but...he hasn't DONE anything. More pairing off and no eliminations.

#23: THE GREAT KHALI
JUDO CHOP~! for Barrett! JUDO CHOP~! for Sandow! JUDO CHOP~! for Jericho! Not much going on here, as the ring continues to fill up with bodies.

#24: KANE
Time to throw out some more dead weight, I guess. Kane tries to toss Dolph, but can't. Hell No gang up on Khali and get nowhere. Sheamus hangs on, as Sandow tries to thrust him out.

#25: ZACK RYDER
Oh, I can't see this ending well. Ryder comes out showing more enthusiasm than more than half the guys in this thing. There goes Khali! (ELIMINATED: The Great Khali) BRYAN ELIMINATES KANE! (ELIMINATED: Kane) Bryan suddenly gets knocked into Kane's arms! Bryan begs for his life and Kane simply drops him. HA! (ELIMINATED: Daniel Bryan)

#26: RANDY ORTON
Time to throw out more guys. Well, it was nice knowing you, Zack! (ELIMINATED: Zack Ryder) Cena tosses out Cesaro! (ELIMINATED: Antonio Cesaro)

#27: JINDER MAHAL
This is the last of the 3MB. Not a lot happening here.

#28: THE MIZ
Miz catches Cesaro in the middle of the aisle and they brawl! Goodbye, Jinder, at the hands of Sheamus! (ELIMINATED: Jinder Mahal) More laying around, as we prepare for our last two.

#29: SIN CARA
Surprised to see Sin Cara off the injured list. He hits Dolph with an enziguiri. This place is going to explode for Ryback at #30. Everyone just kills time, as everyone waits to be fed. Except for Bo Dallas, who eliminates Barrett! (ELIMINATED: Wade Barrett) Ten seconds left and there's only one guy left! Barrett takes umbrage to this and comes back to get rid of Dallas. (ELIMINATED: Bo Dallas) Barrett lays out Dallas with the Bullhammer for fun.

#30: RYBACK
FEED ME BORE! Goodbye, Sandow. (ELIMINATED: Damien Sandow) Goodbye, Sin Cara. (ELIMINATED: Sin Cara) Miz tries to attack from behind. Goodbye, Miz! (ELIMINATED: The Miz) Codebreaker puts Ryback down! Lionsault for Cena! Jericho AGAIN can't get rid of Sheamus, a theme running back to last year! Dolph backdrops Jericho to the apron and ends him with the superkick to big heel heat! (ELIMINATED: Chris Jericho) Sheamus and Orton are going at it! RKO for Dolph! RKO for Cena! Brogue Kick misses and Sheamus eats an RKO! Hanging DDT for Ryback! Big ovation for the RKO machine! VIPER COIL! Orton goes for Ryback, but gets tossed out! (ELIMINATED: Randy Orton)

FINAL FOUR: RYBACK, SHEAMUS, DOLPH ZIGGLER, JOHN CENA
Dolph gets lucky and lands on the apron again, but a Brogue Kick FINALLY ends Dolph's night! (ELIMINATED: Dolph Ziggler) You know, Dolph's been hit with that so many times, I never would have guessed that it would end his Rumble run. And we're down to Sheamus, Cena, and Ryback! Cena and Sheamus double-team Ryback without hesitation! With Ryback dispatched, Cena and Sheamus LOOK AT THE SIGN and start going at it. Cena hits The Usual to heel heat. Five-Knuckle Shuffle is stopped with the KNOCK THE PISS OUT OF YOU! lariat! Shell Shock for Sheamus is countered with White Noise! Sheamus sets up the Brogue Kick, but RYBACK TOSSES HIM OUT! (ELIMINATED: Sheamus) It's down to Cena and Ryback. Time to LOOK AT THE SIGN again! FEED ME BORE! FEED ME BORE! Crowd, which was lukewarm before, is now THOROGHLY on Ryback's side. KNOCK THE PISS OUT OF YOU! lariat is caught with the shitty STF. Ryback still manages to work over Cena by bashing his head on the mat. Ryback rushes Cena to the ropes, but Cena slips out and pushes Ryback over the top rope and John Cena Overcomes the Odds (again) to win the Royal Rumble.

WINNER: John Cena - Well, of course he won. Anticlimactic result aside, I wasn't a big fan of this Rumble. Way too many dead spots for my tastes.

Give John Cena ONE MILLION SETS OF "A WINNER IS YOU!" PYRO!

Video package catches us up on the Punk/Rock feud.

Josh Matthews sets up a Rock promo. Rock talks about overcoming adversity, including pointing to his cancer-surviving mother in attendance. Rock says the people all count, despite what CM Punk says.

And now...it's time (#2)...

CM PUNK (w/PAUL HEYMAN) v. THE ROCK: WWE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Justin Roberts gives us the championship intros.

Both men go at it as soon as the bell rings! Rock comes out of the corner with a clothesline and clotheslines Punk over. Both men fight over the Spanish announce table and along the barricade. Rock clears off the Spanish announce table, but Punk kicks him. Dueling chants are up, as Punk puts the Spanish announce table back in place before taking a bow. HA! The fight continues on the outside, as we get a thunderous "CM Punk" chant! Uh-oh! Heyman attacks Rock from behind to a pop! Rock no-sells it and tries to go after Heyman, but Punk attacks from behind. Punk takes the Spanish announce table lid off again...but thinks better of it and puts it back. Punk drops Rock on the barricade. "Rocky" chant starts up, as Punk hits a snapmare and a kick to the back. Punk grabs the bodyscissors and gets a knee to the midsection for 2. We go back to the bodyscissors. Rock gets an inverted atomic drop, but runs into a flying spinning heel kick. Punk walks over Rock and wipes his feet. HA! Punk continues to work over the abdomen with kicks. Heyman gets a cheap shot in. Rock gets sent out, as Punk climbs to the top. Punk comes down with an elbow to the head, as Punk starts to favor the knee. Another round of "CM Punk" chants! Back in the ring, Rock starts to go after the knee until Punk pulls Rock to the outside. Punk follows with a suicide dive! Punk rolls Rock back in and wants the springboard. Springboard clothesline misses and Rock starts working over the knee. Rock calls for the Rock Bottom (to heat), but Punk fights it off and tries for the GTS! Rock tries to counter with his shitty Sharpshooter, but Punk turns it into the Anaconda Vise! Rock rolls Punk over into a two-count! Rock makes the babyface comeback and the DDT leads to a double KO! Rock wants the Rock Bottom again! Punk turns it into a crucifix, but Rock turns THAT into the shitty Sharpshooter! Bret's facepalming somewhere backstage. Punk reaches the ropes. Back outside, Rock wants that Spanish announce table, dammit! Rock sets Punk up on the table, but Punk kicks him in the head! Now Punk wants the GTS on the table, but Rock grabs for the Rock Bottom...AND THE TABLE FALLS APART UNDERNEATH THEM!!! Well, somebody's getting fired, because Rock's holding his knee now and it looks legit. So Rock tries to make up for it with a Rock Bottom on the outside! Back in the ring, Rock tries to pick up Punk, but he was playing possum and hits the roundhouse kick to the head! Both men are up at 9 and start trading blows. Rock hits a clothesline. Spinebuster hits! People's Elbow looks to hit, but the lights go out! THE SHIELD are destroying Rock on the outside, but the lights are completely out! We hear the triple powerbomb through the announce table, but we don't SEE anything! The lights come back up and everyone's gone! Punk starts laughing, as he knows that no one techinically SAW the Shield do anything! Punk grabs Rock's corpse and tries to roll him back in, as Punk yells to Cole that he has nothing to do with the Shield. Punk rolls Rock back in and gets the pin to retain the title!

WINNER: CM Punk - Well, that's a bit of a cop-out finish, isn't it? Pretty good match otherwise, but it wasn't the match that I was hoping it would be.

Punk kicks Rock out of the ring and celebrates to some BONKERS heel heat! Oops, but "No Chance In Hell" hits and here's VINCE McMAHON to stop the party. Vince says that Punk thinks we're all stupid since we couldn't see anything. Vince is ready to lay the hammer down, but Rock grabs the mic and says the night's not ending that way. "You're not taking it from him. *I* am! Restart the match, now!"

Well, ok, then...

CM PUNK (w/PAUL HEYMAN) v. THE ROCK: WWE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH (TAKE 2)
Punk hammers away on Rock right away and waits for Rock to get up. Corner knee hits. Savage Elbow hits! It gets 2! Punk wants the GTS and is wasting an AWFUL lot of time, just to hammer home the foregone conclusion. Rock fights out of the GTS attempt. Spinebuster hits and the People's Elbow will put an end to the CM Punk Title Reign at 434 days and win the title!

WINNER AND NEW CHAMPION: The Rock - The ending was a foregone conclusion once the match was restarted, but I don't fault the execution.

Rock celebrates with the title after his second match in 10 years. Closing credits are up and we're out!

FINAL THOUGHT

Well, CM Punk's chickens all came home to roost and the reign has finally ended. But man, I kinda do wish just a little bit that they had let the original ending go, because the heat Punk got for that initial ending was NUCLEAR! They'll never be able to get that kind of heat on someone again, but maybe Punk can prove us wrong.

Definitely better than last year's PPV, with another average Rumble match, a much better undercard, and a really good (though not the dream match I quite hoped for) main event. Well, let's start on the Road to Wrestlemania...even though we all know what the ultimate destination is.

Until next time! Take us home, Sheamus!




(edited by It's False on 28.1.13 1002)

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BigDaddyLoco
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Since last post: 327 days
Last activity: 327 days
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.77
There really is no better way for Vince to maximize his media presence than to have this as his outcome, but it's really one of the last things I want to watch. Of course, I am probably not the person Vince really cares about either.

The Main Event wasn't really very good. The Rock cut an over the top "I'm one of you" promos, and he then blew up about a third of the way through the match. I am not a fan of the Dusty Finish. I'd much rather Vince strip the belt only to find out later it was Brock and not The Shield who laid out Rock. Just because Michael Cole says it was The Shield doesn't make it so, because ...

... the announcing was horrendous all night. Special kudos to Lawler for exposing his disinterest in the product by finding out Cole wasn't on Smackdown anymore. I also think we met Dr. Shelby's three biggest fans.

The Rumble match itself was one of the better ones. Nothing will be really memorable down the road, but it had a great pace and enough wrestlers who matter throughout the whole match.

I enjoyed 2 of the 3 surprise entrants. Jericho was a big surprise plus he worked a full night and how could you not enjoy Goldust doing battle with his homoerotic brother.

That all being said I hated the outcome. I don't like Cena, I don't care about Cena, and I don't want to listen to him and Rock trade promos again. Not to mention Cena winning sealed Punk's fate even before Rock cut the mom promo.

The tag match was fine and the World Title match was very good, but I thought the finishes to both of those could have been better.

I'm going thumbs in the middle. I mostly don't agree with the decisions, but I will always mark out for a well paced Rumble Match.




(edited by BigDaddyLoco on 27.1.13 2316)
odessasteps
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Since: 2.1.02
From: MD, USA

Since last post: 3571 days
Last activity: 3538 days
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.75

great line by Meltzer:

"Rock was freaky big, 265 and cut almost like Strongman Jon Anderson"

could that be any more coded?

for the non lucha/puro watchers:





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RUSSIAN FLAG BURIAL - an examination of 1984 mid-south



CRZ
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Since: 9.12.01
From: ミネアポリス

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Last activity: 2 days
ICQ:  
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.43
    Originally posted by odessasteps
    great line by Meltzer:

    "Rock was freaky big, 265 and cut almost like Strongman Jon Anderson"

    could that be any more coded?
So....let's say I get what you're driving at. Or what Meltzer's driving at, I'm not even sure if you're making a point or just wanted us to know Dave's. ANYWAY. I'm still not sure what your/his point is. What's your/his point?

EDIT BECAUSE THIS DOESN'T DESERVE A SEPARATE POST:
    Originally posted by It's False
    (Or if you're Jack Korpela, "WHATAMOVE!")
Korpela has been gone for over a year. I believe this was the WWE high-profile debut of Tony "for the win" Luftman*, who after only one match of play-by-play I have determined says "for the win" WAAAAAAAAAY too much.

*(not counting any shows that aren't airing in the USA - I know he's on NXT and wouldn't be shocked to learn he's doing Superstars)

(edited by CRZ on 27.1.13 2301)

BigDaddyLoco
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#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.77
    Originally posted by CRZ
      Originally posted by odessasteps
      great line by Meltzer:

      "Rock was freaky big, 265 and cut almost like Strongman Jon Anderson"

      could that be any more coded?
    So....let's say I get what you're driving at. Or what Meltzer's driving at, I'm not even sure if you're making a point or just wanted us to know Dave's. ANYWAY. I'm still not sure what your/his point is. What's your/his point?

    (edited by CRZ on 27.1.13 2222)


No track suit shirt this week
Big Bad
Scrapple








Since: 4.1.02
From: Dorchester, Ontario

Since last post: 1927 days
Last activity: 1495 days
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.46
All I could think about during Big E's backstage announcer promo was AJ's tweet about how this was why they didn't let him talk.

Good Rumble, lacking the comedy of last year's event, but this was much of a straight-forward match. After Ziggler went out, the match result became very anti-climactic. Cena becomes the first man to win the Rumble from the #19 position.

I'll be damned if Del Rio isn't getting over as a megaface. I want to see ADR/Ziggler at Wrestlemania for the title.



"It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone." --- Bart Giamatti, on baseball
texasranger9
Frankfurter








Since: 9.1.11

Since last post: 1453 days
Last activity: 1453 days
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.36
Why does Kofi have to do the good guy move all the time? Anyone with a bit of scene would of sat down on the Spanish announcer table and waited til the final 2-3 then used the chair to get back in. But after seeing that Rock Bottom attempt, the table wouldn't of held him for that long.


I am very disappointed in Danial Bryan. He shows us The Dazzler, www.tout.com/m/6mkynf?ref=twseyaq5, and then doesn't deliver at the Rumble. There was even a sign about it in the crowd.

(edited by texasranger9 on 27.1.13 2242)
CruelAngel777
Sujuk








Since: 7.4.02

Since last post: 2791 days
Last activity: 2773 days
#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.02
This was the worst Rumble. The worst (hyperbole, thy name is..) We're gonna sit through 2 months of Rock/cena dueling catchphrase battles, unfunny Cena segue into monotone serious Cena promos until Wrestlemania? CM Punk had a great title run at least. I'd be all for Cena v. Punk at Wrestlemania, seeing as how THEY ARE ACTIVE ROSTER MEMBERS but whatever.

Nice to see Jericho back, a part timer who actually makes more than two or three live appearances a year. I'm really not looking forward to Wrestlemania this year.

(edited by CruelAngel777 due to rage on 27.1.13 2042)

(edited by CruelAngel777 on 27.1.13 2043)
Spiraling_Shape
Bierwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: PA

Since last post: 33 days
Last activity: 11 days
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.42
They pulled wayyy back on the wacky comedy compared to last year (remember when all the announcers were in the Rumble?) and I appreciated that. Cena was a foregone conclusion but I looooved the surprise Jericho entry, and how long he lasted after 5+ months away (and knowing he was in L.A. all weekend for a music biz conference).

Loved the Rhodes/Rhodes dynamics...I was figuring we'd get all of 3MB in the ring at the same time to see their air guitar skillz at once...before a simultanous dumping out of the ring.

The only prediction I had wrong was Rhodes Scholars not winning.

When there was total darkness during the Shield attack, you could really briefly see someone on camera...was it Reigns? Was hard to tell...

And of course I was saddened to see Punk's Reign come to an end, but what an amazing, historic run it was...



"Ice cream bars! Ice cream bars!" - RAW crowd, Boston, 7/11/11
SKLOKAZOID
Bierwurst








Since: 20.3.02
From: California

Since last post: 1692 days
Last activity: 822 days
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.41
Solid PPV. Nothing too earth-shattering, but I was onboard. There's nothing that happened tonight that's making me go "What were they thinking?"

This was the first Royal Rumble I've watched live in years (maybe not even since Rock last held a belt), so I was hooked just by the basic formula of the Rumble match.

Having Ziggler and Jericho in there for most of the time really helped it out, I think. They anchored a lot of the action and there were some bits I found entertaining (Cody/Goldust). The Final 6 were great. Kofi's spot wasn't as fun as last year's, but I still found it fun. I wish Ryback and Cena had a little bit more back-and-forth at the end, but whatever. Ryback made sense as the Big Show/Kane/Last Big Guy Who's Impossible to Elimiate and then Cena Does. Rock wins the title to seal the deal, WrestleMania is on. (unless Cena wants to challenge Del Rio... Ha!)


And yeah, they could have kept the original ending with Punk pinning Rock and vacating the title. That way, Elimination Chamber would've been for the vacant title and Rock could win there, but... it's gonna go to The Rock either way, Punk's reign would have ended either way. Why not just have The Rock win and get it over with?

So, I'm guessing Ziggler cashes in his briefcase to challenge Del Rio very soon, or cashes it in and sets the match for WrestleMania like Bryan almost did last year.

Great job, CM Punk. Best year the WWE Title has seen in, well, years.
Juggalo101
Italian








Since: 27.4.04
From: Atlanta

Since last post: 4077 days
Last activity: 4076 days
#11 Posted on
Thought the Rumble match and Punk/Rock were both good overall except for the finishes.

Cena eliminating Ryback was too bland and predictable. Most people I was watching with didn't really have a dog in the fight after Ziggler was eliminated.

As for the main event, it was well done overall but the People's Elbow is way too weak of a finisher to end Punk's long reign. Maybe it's just me, but I thought they should have Punk kick out of the elbow to at least set up the Rock Bottom.

I hope Kofi's Rumble spot becomes an annual tradition.
JustinShapiro
Scrapple
Moderator








Since: 12.12.01

Since last post: 1764 days
Last activity: 1416 days
#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.75
I thought it was a good show. Not blowaway but a lot better than last year.

Last year's Rumble had a better finish, but this one topped it in every other aspect. Last year's was tons of joke entrants and minimal starpower; this year's had the smallest amount of filler in a long time. Which must be a bummer for your Gabriel/Colon/Uso types who thought this was going to be their second-biggest payday of the year.

Ryder made it in, though! What an upset! Is Truth hurt? 'cause it seemed like they snuck Santino in with a light load for his injured neck just to get him on the show as a thanks buddy.

My night was made with Jericho. Nice job on the Rumble surprise red herrings. This must be the first of Jericho's comebacks where people really didn't know he was coming and the first where he actually came back for revenge against the guy who put him out. Wonder if he'll be working with the Shield at Mania as teased a few weeks ago.

PLEASE do Rhodes Scholars vs. Booker T & Goldust.

Rock/Punk was very good, especially for a 40-year-old monstrosity wrestling his 3rd match in 8 years. I would've liked it better with a big climax of moves and nearfalls instead of the restart, but I did buy the fake ending. I was, however, skeptical that you are allowed to commit a crime if you do it in the dark.

You can't really lament the end of Punk's title reign, because if he wasn't given the long reign specifically to give Rock someone special to beat for the title, then he would've already lost the belt to Ryback at HIAC.

I like having Rock and Cena go over strong, although delaying one or the other would've given you 4 more weeks of TV to not have to do angles for a match they already spent a year on.

Did Bo Dallas get Richie Steamboat's spot of NXT guy feuding with Barrett?

    Originally posted by Juggalo101
    As for the main event, it was well done overall but the People's Elbow is way too weak of a finisher to end Punk's long reign.


I totes agree but I guess they went for the symbolism of him doing it for the people.

(edited by JustinShapiro on 28.1.13 0130)
El Nastio
Banger








Since: 14.1.02
From: Ottawa Ontario, by way of Walkerton

Since last post: 43 days
Last activity: 28 days
ICQ:  
#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.45
Was a bit bummed out they went the telegraphed way.

Three things I noticed:

1)

Fans: YOU STILL GOT IT!
Jericho: I NEVER LOST IT, BABY!

2)

Cole calling Golddust "Dustin".

3)

Cody doing the dropdown uppercut, following by Golddust doing it to him, after a pause thinking "my brother should no better than to try a back bodydrop"



"You can't put a price on integrity"
AlbySure
Boerewors








Since: 10.12.01
From: LA

Since last post: 2506 days
Last activity: 2056 days
#14 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.64
Props to WWE for bringing back Godfather with the high degree of difficulty inherent in not being able to say "pimp," "ho," "roll a fatty for this pimp daddy" or most anything else associated with the character.
spf
Scrapple








Since: 2.1.02
From: The Las Vegas of Canada

Since last post: 3069 days
Last activity: 404 days
#15 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.94
Is Rock v. Cena so compelling that it deserves to be the main attraction of three straight Manias? Guess WWE better hope so, because Rock and Brock have to be costing them a pretty hefty coin.



2007 and 2008 W-League Fantasy Football champion!
Tribal Prophet
Andouille








Since: 9.1.02
From: Winnipeg, MB, Canada

Since last post: 2936 days
Last activity: 2196 days
#16 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.80
    Originally posted by spf
    Is Rock v. Cena so compelling that it deserves to be the main attraction of three straight Manias? Guess WWE better hope so, because Rock and Brock have to be costing them a pretty hefty coin.


Last year set records for money made.

If that's not a good enough reason to have a rematch, then there will never be a good enough reason.
JustinShapiro
Scrapple
Moderator








Since: 12.12.01

Since last post: 1764 days
Last activity: 1416 days
#17 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.75
also what about old school parade of Rumble promos IN OUTER SPACE
emma
Cherries > Peaches








Since: 1.8.02
From: Phoenix-ish

Since last post: 445 days
Last activity: 166 days
#18 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.11
Live from Phoenix ...

Live show was really fun!

Building appeared to be honestly sold out -- no tarped off sections, & bodies all the way up to the rafters.

Cesaro vs Miz was very good! Don't know if Cesaro comes across better live than he does on TV, or if they just worked particularly well together. It was crisp & tight. (Mostly -- there was one thing that looked like a failure to communicate, but they covered & moved on well.) Excellent pre-show match!

One piece of business before we get started with the show: They zoomed in on a couple in the usual VIP area behind the spanish announce desk. That's Adam Jones of Tool. OK, he's known to be a WWE fan, & has done a guitar version of the national anthem at a PPV. Well, apparently Adam wants to ask Korin to marry him. When you're the guitarist for Tool, I guess you don't have to settle for the standard ball game proposal. :-)

I'm well documented as not an ADR fan, but this match was good! I liked them using the stage decoration for the big table spot. (At first it looked like ADR hit the table badly, but it all seemed to be OK.) Nice assistance from Ricardo with the gaffer's tape to Show's ankles. Entertaining match!

Sandow & Rhodes vs Kane & Bryan was pretty entertaining. Maybe Sandow was just having a bit of an off night. The blind tag by Bryan was a nice ending for the match.

So then we get to the Royal Rumble proper ...

Jericho!!! That was absolutely the awesomest event of the night! And he was good! He worked hard the whole time, worked with a lot of people, & pulled out all of his big moves.

The Goldust / Cody interactions were nicely done. (Apparently the threesome of Goldust cosplayers, knew something the rest of us didn't.) Not everybody around me knew that they're related, but most of us got it.

(Note to It's False: At entry #13, should be "Eliminated: Goldust", rather than Cody. Excellent recap, BTW.)

Loved the "Let's go Albert!" chant for Tensai. Not sure Vince is thrilled that we remember. But it can't be nearly as irksome to him as the "Goldberg" chants that Ryback sometimes gets.

I was surprised that this Bo Dallas guy got quite a bit of time in there. I think maybe a few of the guys were working him kinda stiff -- welcome to the big time, baby-Bo. (Although as I type that, didn't they float him to us once before? Wikipedia, why art thou so slow when I need thee? Maybe it was a dark match ...)

In our section, the "Lets go Cena" & "Cena sucks" chants were about evenly balanced, but the pop when Cena won was huge.

This was a fun Rumble live!

Why yes, Rocky -- all people count. Here in Phoenix, we can count to 10 in both english & spanish, & we can count backwards from 8 seconds to 0. We count really well! (Weird promo by the Rock.)

Yeah, the main event. Basically the story was more important than the mechanics. Punk was having to slow down & lighten up a lot to accommodate Rocky. In my section, I was astonished that the chants during the match were about evenly split between Rocky & CM Punk. And as the match went on, it shifted more to pro-Punk. ("Boots to asses" was even met with "knees to faces", & he hasn't pushed that one much at all.) Heyman was great with his occasional dirty shot on Rock -- I love Paul Heyman!

The lights-out / beat-down was ... unexpected. There were certainly enough flashbulbs going off that there ought to be photographic proof. Looked like the Shield to me, but that might have been a ruse (eg. But that wasn't really the Shield; Vince shouldn't have demanded the restart; the streak stands.)

Here's my theory about the whole match ending strategy: I was surprised how "soft" a reaction Rock was getting during the match. Couple that with the crowd not really wanting to see Punk's streak end. I wonder if that was something Vince et al were concerned about. So we put the stipulation in place. Punk wins - crowd happy, but concerned about the stipulation. When Vince comes out to strip Punk of the title, Rocky can demand that he win the title the right way. There was a huge crowd change at that point, & generally people were much happier with Rock - for winning "clean", for wanting to do the right (face-ish) thing, etc. I think it was an effective strategy for bolstering the crowd response to Rock.

Y'all didn't get Rock's speech at the end of the show then, eh? I didn't take notes, & there wasn't anything real specific in the content. (Great crowd, happy to have his family in attendance.) But I kept going back & forth trying to decide if this was a preamble to a final run. If so, they could be making it a Rock-n-Sock Hall of Fame. Or, maybe it was just mostly personal for his family. Dunno.

Overall, a very entertaining live show -- I had a great time!
lotjx
Scrapple








Since: 5.9.08

Since last post: 1681 days
Last activity: 1520 days
#19 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.12
As a mania ticket holder, its a mixed bag. I get the not so fun of seeing Cena vs. Rock II. Yet, I get to see the Rock hopefully walk into a Wrestlemania with the belt, something I never thought I would see. That of course is probably when I will be leaving unless they actually get some balls and turn Cena heel or if its really fucking cold in there.

Punk vs. Taker to me is the main event if they go for it. The real question is will they ever pull the trigger on Ziggler?



The Wee Baby Sheamus.Twitter: @realjoecarfley its a bit more toned down there. A bit.
Spiraling_Shape
Bierwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: PA

Since last post: 33 days
Last activity: 11 days
#20 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.42
Jericho also already has a new t-shirt and it's his best one in years:
http://shop.wwe.com/Chris-Jericho-%22Can%27t-Be-Duplicated%22-Authentic-T-Shirt/77086,default,pd.html?dwvar_77086_color=black&start=1&cgid=superstar-current-chrisjericho

    Originally posted by Juggalo101
    I hope Kofi's Rumble spot becomes an annual tradition.


I think it already is.

    Originally posted by JustinShapiro
    Last year's Rumble had a better finish, but this one topped it in every other aspect. Last year's was tons of joke entrants and minimal starpower; this year's had the smallest amount of filler in a long time. Which must be a bummer for your Gabriel/Colon/Uso types who thought this was going to be their second-biggest payday of the year.

    Ryder made it in, though! What an upset! Is Truth hurt? 'cause it seemed like they snuck Santino in with a light load for his injured neck just to get him on the show as a thanks buddy.


Yeah early on I was predicting the likes of the Colons and the Usos to show up (and didn't even think of Yoshi Tatsu or Jack Swagger of Mars) but gradually realized they weren't going to be a part of this Rumble.

And yeah, Truth got a nasty gash on his leg a month or so ago (I believe in a match with Cesaro) that he posted a picture of online and hasn't been on TV since...

(edited by Spiraling_Shape on 28.1.13 0511)


"Ice cream bars! Ice cream bars!" - RAW crowd, Boston, 7/11/11
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There was apparently a huge turnout of wrestlers, from what I remember. It was held at Andre's ranch in North Carolina, and Hogan delivered one of several euglogies.
- CANADIAN BULLDOG, Andre and the Macho Man (2004)
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