Placeholder post for It's False, but I just watched it so I gotta say my "boo Kane" piece while it's all coagulated.
Boo Kane. I mean boo Orton vs. Kane. What a waste of Orton and of Mania belltime. The hot finish of the Bryan/Orton match followed by Kane's run-in made me especially sad that we weren't getting Bryan/Orton as the Wrestlemania title match. No slight to Sheamus, who I think is doing a good job, but Orton/Bryan in an all-out match is a classic in the making. Kind of crazy that it's the third year in a row that Randy Orton has been given a midcard Wrestlemania program, though I wonder if the payoff for veteran stars Orton/Kane will actually be that much different than the payoff for the down the card world title match.
Here's a list of people I'd rather have seen Orton face: Ziggler (already had a handful of matches but none on PPV), Del Rio (Never Before Seen), Henry (pre-devaluing, Orton never got his win back). I guess it doesn't really matter as it's someone faux important for Orton to beat and Kane has gotten the big renewed push. I hope the angle is that Kane tries to get Orton to embrace the hate and he's like "ok, done."
Guess Ryder's not coming back for Kane revenge either, not that I expected it.
I think Laurinaitis and Teddy have been pretty awesome in their interplay. Kane is going to beat Aksana with shovels.
I thought Sheamus/Ziggler was good and Show/Henry was surprisingly good too, especially considering Henry's injury -- kicking out of finishers + crowd sweetening = exceeded expectations.
Let's play round whatever of the full WM card game:
The Rock vs. John Cena The Undertaker vs. Triple H, Hell in a Cell CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho, WWE Championship Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan, World Heavyweight Championship Randy Orton vs. Kane The Big Show vs. Cody Rhodes
So who's left for the tag match?
heels: Del Rio (injured), Ziggler, Christian (injured), Miz (doghouse?), Henry (doghouse?), Swagger, Otunga
faces: Truth, Kofi, Santino, Ryder ("injured"/movie), Rey (injured), Sin Cara (injured), Khali (let's not, but he's been booked favorably and has a match with Otunga)
Don't know if McIntyre is part of this or just collateral damage. Further down the depth chart you get Gabriel and Ted. Brodus Clay ain't happening.
Also got something with all the girls (I don't think Beth's even been on TV since the PPV?) or maybe a women's title program plus a mixed tag with Eve, Kelly, Ryder, and a heel (good news Dolph, Vickie got you another Mania mixed tag).
Originally posted by JustinShapiroI think Laurinaitis and Teddy have been pretty awesome in their interplay. Kane is going to beat Aksana with shovels.
"I came here to be the bigger man and to get an apology from you." - Big Johnny to Teddy. Best line of the night for me, one I will adopt and use in real life at some point.
Did Booker really call AJ "a rat"? And he called Daniel Bryan her "meal ticket". What's gotten into Booker?
@CMPunk
“@ZackRyder: @CMPunk She played me bro” I got your back.
Originally posted by John OrquiolaDid Booker really call AJ "a rat"? And he called Daniel Bryan her "meal ticket". What's gotten into Booker?
ahahaha yes, he also gave Bryan the harshest condemnation possible: because of Daniel Bryan's disgraceful behavior, Booker T has stripped him of the nickname "D-Bry."
Good God, that Sheamus/Ziggler match was good. La Familia acted as a proper stable, Ziggler stood tall against the title contender, and Sheamus won the match with a great reversal into the Emerald Fusion, now called the White Noise. That could have been a Mania match.
"To be the man, you gotta beat demands." -- The Lovely Mrs. Tracker
Yes, yes it could. I am well on board for a potential Ziggler/Sheamus feud after Wrestlemania.
And yes, as far as Orton is concerned, a match with Kane at Mania is a MASSIVE comedown from potentially being in a World title match. But still. One has too look at the positive side of things - this guarantees in my eyes Orton both a victory and a favourable reaction at Wrestlemania. Orton should be able to squeeze a decent match out of Kane, and if you compare it to Batista/Umaga at WM24 in a similar spot, it should be better than that.
Cody/Show just has "MEH!" written all over it. Please add something to this match to make it somewhat worthwhile...
Originally posted by superfurryCody/Show just has "MEH!" written all over it. Please add something to this match to make it somewhat worthwhile...
Even if it's Big Show affirming the IC belt is the only major men's belt left for him to hold.
On the plus side, this is the first time in TEN YEARS (WrestleMania X-8, Rob Van Dam v. William Regal) that the Intercontinental Title will be defended at WrestleMania. We've come a long, downhill way since Savage v. Steamboat.
@CMPunk
“@ZackRyder: @CMPunk She played me bro” I got your back.
Booker was horrible last night. Him going over the top in being irate at Bryan and AJ was annoying. Especially AJ who has done nothing heelish, whore-like, or manipulative with her character. How is she a rat looking for a meal ticket Book?
Kane is attacking Orton to send a message.... what's the message Booker T? Why is it that you can never back up any of your accusations and theories that you make about superstars actions during commentary? Booker is a shit announcer plain and simple. At least Cole is making a steady transition of supporting Bryan since he has become champion. I really really want a new commentary team on Smackdown.
Rest of the show was great. When is Otunga gonna use his coffee mug as a convenient weapon ala Bob Orton with his migrating cast?
Originally posted by John OrquiolaOn the plus side, this is the first time in TEN YEARS (WrestleMania X-8, Rob Van Dam v. William Regal) that the Intercontinental Title will be defended at WrestleMania. We've come a long, downhill way since Savage v. Steamboat.
Rey Mysterio beat JBL for the IC title at Mania XXV. Though that match was only 21 seconds long (which is about as long as I expect Cody/Show to be given).
Well, before we get underway with this (late) recap, it's time for this week's edition of...
I HATE IT WHEN I'M RIGHT:
Originally posted by Me in the Raw threadRe: the GM situation. The qualifier seems to be that they kept saying "next week". So I'd imagine that Long gets Raw next week while Laurinaitis gets SmackDown. That should be...something.
Should be something, indeed. But that's next week! Let's focus on the here and now!
TONIGHT! Randy Orton RETURNS...again! He faces Daniel Bryan in a non-title match. Plus, it's Teddy Long's last day as SmackDown GM...for a few weeks. SmackDown is NOW!
The Champ may or may not be here, as the DVR recording cuts in late...so we join in the middle of the ad for tonight's show! Randy Orton RETURNS...aga...no, wait, I already used that joke.
Opening credits - Do You Know Your Enemy? Opening pyro! We are taped from Seattle, WA!
We start off with SHEAMUS and his Too Many Limes! Your hosts are the three lemons! And it's promo time for Sheamus!
Sheamus: You know, since winning the Royal Rumble match, all I can think about is Wrestlemania! Stepping into that ring, in front of over 80,000 members of the WWE Universe...and millions and millions more around the world, I am going to be in the main event of the greatest show on Earth! And I cannot wait to step in the ring, face-to-face, with the World Heavyweight Champion, Daniel Bryan. You know, since Daniel Bryan became World Champion, he's become a changed man. He's become conceited and obsessed. So much so, that he reminds me of someone after they won their first WWE Championship: Me. When I won my first WWE Championship over two years ago, I believed I was the greatest thing ever. I believed I deserved it. I became wrapped up in my own ego. When, as a matter of fact, I should have realized how lucky I was. I should have known that the WWE Championship was the greatest trophy I could have earned at that time. Well, what happened? I became the one thing I despised my entire life. I became a bully. And what I needed was...I needed somebody to remind me where I came from. I needed someone...to set me straight. I needed someone to knock my block off and realize what I had achieved and who I was. Well, Daniel Bryan needs the same thing. And luckily enough for him, come April 1, I'll be happy to show him when I kick his arse and become the new World Heavyweight Champion!
My ears suddenly start bleeding, so that must mean interruption comes from VICKIE GUERRERO and DOLPH ZIGGLER, of all people. They claim that no one cares what Sheamus has to say and that the world deserves to see Dolph in the main event at Wrestlemania. Dolph throws in a bad redhead joke that Sheamus can't help but make fun of. This somehow leads to Vickie endorsing John Laurinaitis for GM of both shows and TEDDY LONG makes his entrance before the promo can go off the rails. Long makes a Sheamus/Ziggler match for right now. Well...he probably means after the...
Ad break
"THE GREAT WHITE" SHEAMUS v. DOLPH ZIGGLER (w/VICKIE GUERRERO) We start with Dolph showing off before Sheamus wrestles him down with a headlock. Cole talks about the GM's switching roles next week, as Dolph nails Sheamus with a great dropkick. We shift into a Dolph headlock before Sheamus powers him down. Dolph misses a dropkick and eats a clothesline. Sheamus pounds away in the corner and hits the ten-count chest strikes. Vertical suplex brings Dolph back in for 2. Dolph ducks out, so Sheamus brings him back in. That allows Dolph to get a cheap shot and a nice hangman's neckbreaker off the ropes! Dolph hammers away in the corner and hits another neckbreaker for 2. Dolph keeps Sheamus down with elbows and the jumping elbow gets 2. Time to hit the chinlock! Rocker Dropper is dodged and Sheamus makes the comeback with Irish Hammers. Powerslam gets 2. Dolph manages to clamp on the Sleeper Hold, before getting backed into the corner and dumped to the outside. Dolph climbs the turnbuckles, but leaps into the Irish Curse! The cover gets 2 when Vickie puts Dolph's foot on the ropes. What a dastardly heel move...that has all the punch taken out of it when Matthews and Cole fall over themselves to compliment it. Sigh...idiots. Sheamus goes for the High Cross, but Dolph rolls him up for 2! Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets 2 for Sheamus! Sheamus calls for the Brogue Kick, but Vickie waves over some help. Here's "THE ALL-AMERICAN AMERICAN" JACK SWAGGER to run interference (in full suit and tie, no less!), but Sheamus easily disposes of him with the Brogue Kick. Your U.S. Champion, ladies and gentlemen! Dolph uses the distraction to hit the Rocker Dropper (which Cole calls the Brogue Kick, because he's a blithering idiot) for 2! Zig Zag attempt is blocked and the Celtic Cross (now re-dubbed the White Noise) finishes at about 10 minutes.
WINNER: Sheamus - Great opening match! I'd be ok with a nice extended feud between these guys.
Your hosts are the three coconuts. They talk about next week with Teddy Long running Raw and John Laurinaitis running SmackDown, as they recap the last few weeks between the two GM's.
Teddy Long walks backstage and enters his office to find Super Dave Laurinaitis and David Otunga. Laurinaitis wants to be the bigger, so he came to ask for an apology. Long tells them to go screw themselves and books Otunga to face The Great Khali this Monday. Ok, who's the prankster that keeps booking Otunga against the worst wrestlers on the roster?
Later tonight, The Big Show faces Mark Henry...again.
Ad break
The WWE Rewind is brought to you by the PlayStation Vita! It's Santino's training segment from last week, where Heath Slater came in for some HI-LARIOUS "comedy"! Dig Slater selling that water like it's acid!
HEATH SLATER v. SANTINO MARELLA Heath Slater doesn't get an entrance, because he's cannon fodder, of course. COBRA~!, goodbye in two minutes.
WINNER: Santino Marella - Santino's starting to hit his peak. Slater's a total waste.
Later tonight, Randy Orton RETURNS...again! He faces Daniel Bryan!
Ad break
Here's a look at Triple H/Undertaker, with various Superstars weighing in.
This Monday, Shawn Michaels RETURNS...again!
Let's go backstage to Eve Torres, for some reason. Natalya comes in and...yeah, I'm done here.
Ad break
EVE TORRES v. NATALYA Natalya gets no entrance, because she's cannon fodder, of course. Fast-forward to the fluke roll-up for Eve.
WINNER: Eve Torres - Natalya did her best, but face or heel, Eve's just awful.
Later tonight, Big Show faces Mark Henry. This show is seriously testing me to see how many times I can use the word "again" in one recap.
Ad break
CODY RHODES makes his entrance, as we recap his feud with Big Show. He's got the mic and it's promo time!
Cody: Last week, I chronicled The Big Show's pock-marked, crater-laden rear end suffering an embarrassing loss to Akebono at Wrestlemania 21.
Here are some still photos of the sumo match in question.
Cody: And this past Monday night on Raw, Floyd Mayweather KNOCKING OUT The Big Show at Wrestlemania 24 was the embarrassing moment du jour.
We get some still photos of that match in question.
Cody: Now if you hear it from Show, I'm at the TOP, the tippy-top of his you-know-what list because I cost The Big Show the opportunity to go to Wrestlemania. Well, Show, I hope it's a "thank you" list, because I saved you, sir. Saved you the embarrassment of floundering yet again on the grandest stage of them all. Listen! Listen! I know you're the world's largest athlete. I know you're a former World Heavyweight Champion. You were one of the biggest stars in all of the WWE! You were The Big Show! But AT the big show...haha...you're a choke artist. Need proof? WWE has some pretty extensive archives when it comes to Big Show's most embarrassing Wrestlemania moments. If you look, they'll just keep coming! For example...
Interruption comes from THE BIG SHOW and his music. Show comes in and chases Rhodes off, who escapes through the crowd.
Show: Cody! Cody! Hold on a second! Hold on a second! Where you going? You don't have to leave, I mean, hey! I wanted to come out and watch your next video segment! I mean, I can laugh at myself. I mean, sometimes I'm pretty funny. Well...sometimes. Come on back down, man! Come on, Cody! We can watch this together like friends! Now Cody...well, I mean, if you're not gonna come back down here, well, I guess I'll just have to come get you, don't I?
TEDDY LONG makes the next interruption. Long doesn't want Show running over people in the crowd, but assures Show that he'll get what he wants. Long books Rhodes/Show for the Intercontinental Championship. Oof! Somewhere, Dustin's weeping over his lost Wrestlemania moment. Anyway, Long segues this segment into...
THE BIG SHOW v. "THE WORLD'S STRONGEST MAN" MARK HENRY Both men exchange blows to start. Show comes off the ropes and eats a clothesline. Henry clotheslines Show out. Henry gives chase and hits a headbutt before whipping Show into the timekeeper's area. Show beats the count, so Henry bashes Show's head into the steel post to take us to our next ad break.
We come back with Cody Rhodes having joined the commentary team. Henry slowly beats Show down some more. Henry drives Show into the steel post. Henry grabs the steel steps and chucks them at Show! He misses! Back in the ring, some more slow offense. Henry's hits a slow avalanche! Vaderbomb gets 2! Avalanche attempt eats boot and Show spears Henry! Chokeslam attept is blocked and Henry hits the World's Strongest Slam...for 2! Good to see The E rewarding Henry soldiering on through his injuries by killing his finisher in a throwaway match. Henry argues with the ref and decides to charge at Show, running straight into the Mayweather Sucker Punch. Show takes his sweet time in covering, making Henry look THAT MUCH WORSE, and gets the pin anyway.
WINNER: The Big Show - I'd like to think there's still life in Henry, but his heel run is on life support right now. Also, ENOUGH ALREADY with this match! No more Show/Henry matches! Please!
Teddy Long walks backstage and finds Drew McIntyre. Long tells McIntyre that tonight is "do or die" for him. Jesus, is this storyline STILL going?
Your hosts are the three dopes. We look back at the Raw where Daniel Bryan concussed Randy Orton.
That takes us to the demoted Matt Striker standing backstage with Randy Orton. Orton wants revenge on Bryan tonight, not just for the concussion, but also for costing Orton the chance to go into Wrestlemania as champion. Tonight, Orton collects what's owed to him.
Ad break
DREW McINTYRE v. JUSTIN GABRIEL McIntyre doesn't get an entrance. How do YOU think this goes?
WINNER: Justin Gabriel - Sigh...
Post-match, Teddy Long appears on the Titantron and fires McIntyre. First of all, the very definition of irony is that there's a giant Be A Star placard in the background of Long's office. Secondl...hmm...what do you suppose is going to happen next week when John Laurinaitis is running the show?
Your hosts are the three jackals. They argue about McIntyre for a bit and essentially bury the poor guy. They send it off to a look at Bending The Rules, starring Edge. Yes, it's another shitty WWE Films effort, so I'm not even going to bother with this...hey, is that JESSICA WALTER? Maybe this won't be so bad, aft...no, wait, there's Jamie Kennedy. Never mind! FFWD!
Ad break
Time to shoot it off to the...um...let me just read these notes on my wrist...OH YES! The Raw Rebound!
Your hosts are the three croutons! How many times do I have to see these clowns tonight?
Let's go backstage to the demoted Matt Striker standing with Daniel Bryan and AJ. Bryan takes umbrage to Sheamus asserting that he's changed since winning the title, trying for a hometown pop...before pointing out that he moved to Vegas ASAP. He's a vegan, you know! He doesn't own a TV! He's the love of AJ's life! He's a role model! He beat two giants at the Royal Rumble! He beat five, five, FIVE men at the Chamber! He says he'll beat Orton tonight and he'll walk out of Wrestlemania as the champion!
"THE APEX PREDATOR" RANDY ORTON makes his entrance for tonight's main event. He faces Daniel Bryan next!
Ad break
"THE APEX PREDATOR" RANDY ORTON v. DANIEL BRYAN (w/AJ): NON-TITLE MATCH Spotted in the crowd: five guys each holding a "YES!" sign side-to-side! That is AWESOME! Booker and Cole have a ridiculous circular argument that makes my brain hurt, especially when Booker refers to AJ as an "in-house rat". Lovely.
Orton pounds away on Bryan to start and shoves him into the corner. He quickly dumps Bryan and chases after him. Orton tosses Bryan into the barricades and hits a clothesline. Orton whips Bryan into the steel steps. He makes sure to eyeball AJ, making sure she watches as Orton stomps Bryan's head into the steel steps! That's cold-blooded! Back in the ring, Orton bashes Bryan some more in the corner. Orton's superplex attempt is blocked and Bryan headbutts him off. Bryan hits the YAAAAAAH corner dropkick and begins working on Orton's arm. Single-arm DDT gets 2 and we take our final ad break of the night.
We come back with Bryan stomping away on Orton in the corner before he works over the arm some more. Orton tries to backdrop Bryan over the top rope, but Bryan lands on the apron and hangs Orton on the top rope. Bryan comes off the top, but Orton meets him with a dropkick. Orton makes the babyface comeback. Snap powerslam gets 2. Bryan tries to kick the arm, but Orton no-sells it and hits the Hanging DDT. Orton stares down AJ, with AJ reacting like she's getting eyeballed by Batista (ohhhh, that's a BAD It's False! BAD!), before the VIPER COIL! RKO is nearly turned into the LeBell Lock! Orton escapes, but the RKO is blocked again and Bryan escapes. The fight moves to the outside, as Bryan keeps trying to flee. Orton catches Bryan and tries for the Hanging DDT on the apron, but here's some pyro. Hellfire and Brimstone means KANE is here to ruin a perfectly good match. Meanwhile, Bryan runs back in the ring and IN THE MIDDLE OF KANE'S ENTRANCE, Scott Armstrong counts Orton out! Wow, there's dedication to your craft and then there's total contrivance!
WINNER BY COR: Daniel Bryan - Daniel Bryan's winning streak rolls on, no matter how ridiculous the circumstances.
Post-match, Orton and Kane do battle in the aisle. Kane kicks Orton's arm and sends him back in the ring. Kane enters the ring, at which point Bryan runs away and completely ditches AJ! Orton saves AJ with right hands, but Kane recovers quickly and both guys exchange blows again. The fight moves to the announce table and to the timekeeper's area. Back in the ring, Kane sends Orton into the steel post and finishes things off with a chokeslam. Kane demands a mic and tells Orton, "Welcome back, Randy! Welcome back!"
Hit Kane's music! We go backstage to John Laurinaitis and David Otunga watching what just happened. Laurinaitis says that it's nothing compared to the destruction he'll bring to SmackDown! Insert a "shoot comments" quip here. And so our show ends with Laurinaitis booking Kane to face...Aksana. Yup.
FINAL THOUGHT
It's easy to assume that Kane and Orton are being tossed together because neither guy has anything better to do. And you might be right. But oddly enough...the Kane/Orton feud makes sense when you think about it. Kane's last match before Mark Henry took him out was against one Randy Orton, who Kane had targeted that night. Maybe this is a continuation of that? Or maybe this is just a feud tossed together because these guys don't have anything better to do. I would hope that Kane being tied up means they're focusing Zack Ryder back on the U.S. title, but I'm not about to make any assumptions yet.
Sheamus/Ziggler was great and it was all downhill from there. Terrible matches, pointless burials, and boring squashes were the order of the day here. Luckily, Daniel Bryan remains awesome, as per usual!
I cannot believe how in the past year I've gone from disliking Orton to secretly giving him respect for putting on good matches to being pissed off that he doesn't get a WM title shot. I went "noooooo..." when Kane came out.
In the mean time...I really hate Sheamus' character at the moment. I see what they want to do, and I know the guy can go in the ring, but ever since his feud with Christian he's been so damn invincible and annoying. My one hope was that the WHC match would become a triple threat, to spice things up. Now I fear it will just be "Sheamus tosses Bryan around, powers out of everything. Kick. Win."
I'm not sure about the Cody-Show match at WM. If Cody wins, it proves the point that Big Show sucks at the biggest stage. If he wins, he has the belt. Then what? He simply loses it to Cody again at the following ppv? Unless of course they use this moment to elevate Cody to almost-main eventer like they did with Ziggler after losing to Ryder. *fingers crossed*
Since turning face, Orton hasn't been able to get out of Mania midcard...he had the Legacy breakup match at WM26, the Punk match last year and now Kane this year. I still don't *particularly* care for Orton so I don't mind or anything, but it's odd that the company seems to consider him somewhat of an afterthought every year. It's possible that this year they're intentionally keeping Orton out of a major spot since they're not sure about his health.
I'm not sure about the Cody-Show match at WM. If Cody wins, it proves the point that Big Show sucks at the biggest stage. If he wins, he has the belt. Then what? He simply loses it to Cody again at the following ppv? Unless of course they use this moment to elevate Cody to almost-main eventer like they did with Ziggler after losing to Ryder. *fingers crossed*
This is also the second straight year that Cody has been featured in a midcard Mania match that actually had a story built into it. Wouldn't surprise me if Show (like Rey last year) volunteered to put Cody over just to establish him even moreso as the next big star. I'd like to see Rhodes keep the IC title simply because I'd like to see Honky Tonk Man's record challenged/broken one of these years.
"It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone." --- Bart Giamatti, on baseball
Thread ahead: Impact Wrestling 3-1-12 Next thread: NY POST: WWE "cable network can't get off the mat" Previous thread: ROH blocks three Wrestlers from going to the WWE
To be honest, as much as I liked D-Lo's spiel (and he DEFINITELY gave us a different shade of Coach than I was used to) I hope he can find a niche somewhere on RAW.