Normally, I try to stay out of site bashing -- if I find a contributor ridiculous, inane or obnoxious, I just avoid him or her. But I have yet to figure out exactly what qualifies Mallory Mahling to produce her "alternative perspective" Raw report each week for the Torch -- apparently, "alternative" is a euphemism for "rarely informed." Her breezy take on the night's events is guaranteed to produce at least one howler every week, which is why I still glance at it now and then.
This week's highlight, reproduced without further comment:
(5) He's coming, teased an ad for a "mysterious" masked wrestler. Who? Well, as unpredictable as the last couple of weeks have been, it could be almost anybody, including Bret Hart.
"No society has managed to invest more time and energy in the perpetuation of the fiction that it is _moral, sane and wholesome_ than our current crop of _Modern Americans_." -- Frank Zappa
Call it a hunch, but I don't think she was serious. It was just a jab at the WWE writing team.
Mean Gene: "You know, I don't think it's a question - Goldberg, I don't think it's a question of who's next, I think it's a question of who's left?" Goldberg: "No, see, that's where you're wrong. It ain't who's left, it's - WHO'S NEXT?"
"Just how hardcore am I? Well this morning, I drank milk that was two days past the expiration!" -Norman Smiley
I enjoy the Torch site and subscribe to the newsletter, but I make sure to skip her inane Raw reports. I am surprised that Keller puts up with her (then again, he gives space to that blowhard BJ Bethel, so I guess I am not TOO surprised).
"Oh would you stop being all stealthy and just get in the truck"- Tom Servo
Originally posted by TorchslasherNo, she probably is that oblivious.
I enjoy the Torch site and subscribe to the newsletter, but I make sure to skip her inane Raw reports. I am surprised that Keller puts up with her (then again, he gives space to that blowhard BJ Bethel, so I guess I am not TOO surprised).
haven't parents learned yet that they can not name their kids BJ w/o leaving them open to jokes?
I've snickered at every BJ I've been introduced to.
um...that might have been the oddest statement that I have ever said/typed
"If it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college." -Lewis Black
"Yeah, fuck you E.T. you ungrateful dick." -BigDaddyLoco 5/20/2
"MAY PRE HOUSE THE SEAMY SIDE VOLITATION!!!" Warning from a "Flying Goku" Dragon Ball Z toy
"I'm her sugar momma, which is ok, because I'm her sister." Connie French, and the funniest thing one of my customers has ever said to me
I think Mallory's take on RAW are pretty decent, if only becuase they are at least a little different than the other 100 recaps you can read on the net. Who needs another CRZ when no one can come close to being as good as CRZ is at recapping (in his style) in the first place? Judging by her sarcastic remarks from other columns, I think it's safe to assume that the line about Bret Hart was made in jest.
What I have issue with is Bruce Mitchell, the guy who constantly tears the WWE for not doing anything long term, recapping a show in which he comments on things as-they-occur. I think it is part of a larger issue of cynacism that I'll be touching upon in my Smackdown recap this week. Don't get me wrong, the stream of concisousness thing is a good idea, but not for him.
She must not have got the memo that all Torch staff had to declare that Monday night was the 'Worst Raw Yet'. Describing it as 'entertaining' is really going against the party line.
I don't mind her reports at all, if only because they are generally more positive than most you'll find on the Net, and it's a nice change of pace, especially for someone like me who is more of a fan than a smart.
If you want a great quote from the article this week, "Plus they keep headlining the Tough Enough kids at the expense of the veteran wrestlers in the back. " So.... having a fresh face in Chris Nowinski beat a washed up Bradshaw is bad? She makes it seem like Maven and Chris squashed Angle and Rock.
I'm gonna get me an oversized guitar, gain 40 pounds, and become the next D!