The Layla/Jimmy segments have horrible horrible sound problems (over and beyond Jimmy)
blah blah stuff from last week... including the host lead in FF>>
Some unidentified girl talking about how wrestling is like romance with distracting sparkles behind her. Don't know what she said... there were distracting sparkles. It wasn't worth rewinding to hear the joke.
Bikini Shoot FF>>
Ah ha, the main event. I'm pretty sure White Magic's outfit won an honorable mention in the 4-H 11-14 age category at the county fair last year.
White Magic has an awkwardly posed seizure... leaves the ring, raises Draculetta from her coffin... only we can't really see it because they decided to switch to a black, red and white filter and put a digital smoke effect over the screen. Gah! Draculetta does a really cool hanging upside down from the ropes like a bat entrance thing... which I'm SURE would make her boobs do fun things in that Spencer's costume if there wasn't all this stupid smoke crap in the way. Amber Lively does a flip... Yawn. Lacey comes out... yawn. Commercial. White Magic de-blings... Amber does some "intimidating" cheer moves.
Some unidentified girl talking about how wrestling is like romance with distracting sparkles behind her. Don't know what she said... there were distracting sparkles. It wasn't worth rewinding to hear the joke.
Hey it's Madison Rayne and Lacey Von playing a face version of the Beautiful People. That match has one of the greatest submission moves I've ever seen since the Ankle lock. I hope she makes that a regular finisher. Madison could sooo do porn.
I've seen better vampire girl and voodoo girl gimmicks. In fact it's odd how when Shelly Martinez/Ariel/Selinas was doing the vamp girl gimmick (and the same with Roxxi as the voodoo queen) the realization that they were doing campy generic gimmicks didn't even occur to me. Maybe they were better actors or more attractive/better outfits?
White Magic does some sort of weird supposedly in-character shimmy/itchy thing to dislodge a costume piece that has gotten stuck in her hair piece. ((I think this might have been the voodoo doll she was supposedly smuggling into the ring, but she dropped it in front of the ref-- oops))
Seriously, what the hell is up with Amber's hair.
A wrist lock? A wrist lock... is she going to do an indian burn next?
Draculetta's half-pant things are making her thighs look fat.
Y'know Lacey, maybe it's just me, but it sure seems like wrestling barefoot would be a Bad Idea TM.
Ooo the double take cam. I was just thinking to myself, self this could really use some split screen work with a punny name.
Zomg a voodoo doll. Now we're classing up the joint.
God this match is boring. Slow paced. Man the only reason to watch this is to see if Lacy's pants ever actually slide off (they keep threatening and it doesn't look like she's wearing undies). This fight has more mime work than mat work.
At 14:12 White Magic slaps Lacey across the chest (boobs don't slap well...absorb too much energy- no loud slap) and it sure looks like Lacey busts up laughing.
That high knee to the chest did not look very painful... well I suppose it might be if she has implants.
German Pancake really stood out as a particularly bad line in the commenting.
And... Lacey's pants continue to hold on valiantly.
I'm not a big fan of cheerleading outfits, but I think Amber's outfit is probably the best outfit on Wrestlicious so far. It's properly skimpy, showcases her boobs and doesn't make her look like a train wreck (that's just her hair and that horrible blue eyeshadow). What is the deal with dressing everyone so poorly in crappy or cheap looking outfits. I don't mean cheap in a good way either.
The voodoo doll is cheesy, but not as bad as her voodoo seizures. I find it strangely appropriate that they called her White Magic... cause seriously all I can think while watching her wiggle around in that horrible outfit and paint is "that girl is so white".
*snicker* the ref actually took the voodoo doll away.
White Magic's vicious kick to the back made me laugh.
(bored... ho hum... bored)
Did White Magic just "pound" her on the back like a petulant child? I think a petulant child would do more damage.
Ok... I got to the "submission" hold. Can't type... laughing too hard... Maybe we're supposed to believe that Amber has never been stretched in that position before?
Now the sleeper hold... "Sleep well, and dream of large women."
The crowd's rhythmic clapping needs more cowbell to keep them together.
Oh, apparently Draculetta has the half pants to hide her kneepads. That makes sense, you lose goth points for kneepads.
Lacey's got her in "THE CLAW" but we're going to flip over to Amber's boobs while that's going on (probably a good call) back to the claw... and now voodoo staff for the DQ.
Lacey appears to be cracking up again as she helps her partner.
Aw the claw messed up White Magic's face paint...
I have no idea what just happened in that last skit. There was Bootcamp Bailey some bikini girls, the lameo P-diddyesque owner character, uhm... the farmer's daughter character, the prison guard (oh I guess one of the bikini babes must be Felony) and Jimmy doing his best Dante from clerks impression as he pretends that he knows how to make beds. "I'm a hall of famer... I don't need this"
Is it just my computer running slow or do the matches actually run on tv with that stop-motion effect??
The one redeeming quality of this show continues to be the match itslef. At least some Shimmer wrestlers are getting seen which is a good thing.
I can see that the girls are having alot of fun wrestling in character and that on top of a paycheck seems to be the reason the more established workers are doing this show.
Daffney soooo needs to show up at Destination X as Draculetta!! at least do the ring entrance. And a BP version of Amber/Madison's cheerleader outfit would be tasty.
I know we as a collective tend to be kind of hard on TNA, but I feel obligated as a wrestling fan to give them a little bit of credit and gratitude.
Because, if they'd never signed that television deal years ago, I would bet you all of my money and at least one organ that Spike TV would be broadcasting this show at least twice a week -- and honestly, I know the mainstream perception of professional wrestling isn't all that flattering, but this definitely wouldn't have helped matters.
I second the notion by Leroy that Lise should do the Wrestlicious recap every week. She's great at it, and is also the only one paying that close of attention to it. Well, other than the fact that I will not stop railing against the retarded heel-heavy booking that has permeated most of these niche women's wrestling promotions like WOW, GLOW and now Wrestlicious (seriously, when Lacey Von Erich can't get anything but a DQ win, you know all the babyfaces are doomed).
Like Ecks, I was also amused by the commentator's knowledge of wrestling from the 50's and 60's. A Lord Alfred Hayes reference, followed by a Verne Gagne reference? Wow. I was sure he was going to reference Roddy Piper when talking about that sleeper hold (or Triple H).
"Put on your helmets, we'll be reaching speeds of 3!" "It was nice of you to give that dead woman another chance." "All right, look alive everybody...oh sorry Susan."- MST3K: Space Mutiny Click Here (myspace.com)
Really, I'm going to have trouble NOT enjoying a match with Lacey and Daffney as a tag team. That said, Lacey Von Erich really just cannot wrestle. Not even a little bit.
Mildly entertaining match, everything makes me hate life just a little bit more.
Originally posted by spfMildly entertaining match, everything makes me hate life just a little bit more.
That's the problem. This should have been the best this company has to offer and it wasn't good. The things that should have been sexy were either funny or botched. The things that could have been kick ass were boring.
For example it does not seem like the wrestlers have much (or any) input in the creative process. So much of the show is clearly scripted by a pervy old dude that I feel bad for the performers. I don't think the wrestlers are even doing much of their own choreography (I think the wrestling would cater more to their strengths and there'd be less dead air in the match where the wrestlers appear to be trying to set up for a move that doesn't flow from the previous).
I could fantasy book a number of simple changes that would make this show something I want to watch while keeping their weird sexual overtone thing going... but they aren't going to happen in a million years. This show is not going develop into something I enjoy watching-- not even for the purpose of mockery.
Someone else is going to have to recap the next one.
Originally posted by spfMildly entertaining match, everything makes me hate life just a little bit more.
That's the problem. This should have been the best this company has to offer and it wasn't good. The things that should have been sexy were either funny or botched. The things that could have been kick ass were boring.
For example it does not seem like the wrestlers have much (or any) input in the creative process. So much of the show is clearly scripted by a pervy old dude that I feel bad for the performers. I don't think the wrestlers are even doing much of their own choreography (I think the wrestling would cater more to their strengths and there'd be less dead air in the match where the wrestlers appear to be trying to set up for a move that doesn't flow from the previous).
I could fantasy book a number of simple changes that would make this show something I want to watch while keeping their weird sexual overtone thing going... but they aren't going to happen in a million years. This show is not going develop into something I enjoy watching-- not even for the purpose of mockery.
Someone else is going to have to recap the next one.
To be honest, I was only half-watching. And the parts where Lacey Von Erich was in the ring, I was more like 1/10 watching. I did look up to see the rarely used "break a hold by using a voodoo doll of your opponent" escape. I agree the wrestling was not good at all, especially when LVE was involved. But for me, much like watching Rain overacting as Felony, I got enough of a kick out of Lacey's antics as White Magic that I didn't mind the 7 or so minutes of actually paying attention to the show that I gave it.
The match style does seem very choppy and booked more towards spots like the one highlighted above than a regularly called match. I suspect there has to be a lot of pre-planning since many of the girls are so inexperienced and trying to call a match on the fly in there with a lot of the roster would be a recipe for injurious disaster.
It is funny that of all the times nerds have talked about what they would do if they won the lottery and could start their own wrestling promotion, when it finally happens it looks just like something we've seen 3 times or so already, only without quite as much of a sense of humor (or we're all just older perhaps).
I'd rather see a nerd spend his lottery winnings on this than another ROH style promotion.
Ideally, they would spend it on an American lucha promotion or at least series of big shows held with luchadors and similar American worker in hispanic areas of the US..