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The W - Pro Wrestling - iMPACT! 10-01-09
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Karlos the Jackal
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Since: 2.1.02
From: The City of Subdued Excitement

Since last post: 3011 days
Last activity: 1966 days
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.00
Two quick programming notes:

1. Spike has canceled the Impact replay, supposedly to try and boost ratings for the Thursday showing.

2. Global Impact 2 is (finally!) showing next week, after Impact. Should be good. Here's the lineup, courtesy TNA's site:

MAIN EVENT MAFIA VS. NEW JAPAN MAIN EVENT:
Kurt Angle, Kevin Nash, Masahiro Chono, Riki Choshu vs. Giant Bernard, Takashi Iizuka, Tomohiro Ishii and Karl Anderson

IWGP TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH:
Team 3D (TNA) vs. Togi Makabe and Toru Yano (NEW JAPAN)

IWGP JUNIOR HEAVYWEIGHT TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH:
The Motor City Machineguns (TNA) vs. Yujiro and Tetsuya Naito (NEW JAPAN)

-----

No title for this episode, as we jump right into things -- Abyss is out and he would like some answers from Mick Foley. (The Impact Zone agrees -- "WE WANT ANSWERS," they chant.) Mick is out (with the "tough" security -- Mikael Judas, Phil Shatter, and Kimo), carrying his barbwire bat, and says that he owes Abyss NOTHING. Foley paved the way for guys like Abyss! And in return, Abyss ruined Foley's most prized possession, the picture of the Tweet-n-Tweak Connection.

Abyss explains what happened -- he went into Foley's office to get the barbwire bat in order to rescue Foley from Kevin Nash two weeks ago (and ended up getting Foley DQed and ruining his title shot). He accidentally knocked the picture off the wall at this time. Amazingly, this chain of events actually makes perfect logical sense to me.

Foley points out that he's never needed Abyss to save him before -- not when he was being thrown 20 feet off the Hell in a Cell (call your cable provider now!), not when he was in Japan, not when he got his ear torn off -- and he doesn't need it now. Abyss starts SCREAMING at Mick that Mick USED TO BE his hero, but not anymore.

Mick backpedals and says that his actions -- "while warranted" -- may have gone to far. After all, look -- here's another framed picture of the Tweet-n-Tweak connection. Abyss says, "You fixed it!" but Foley points out that, no, this is just a cheap facsimile, a copy, a rip-off -- and if there's anyone who should know about that, it's Abyss. OH. OUCH. And FRAMED PICTURE SHOT TO ABYSS' HEAD. Foley takes off; Abyss follows, wiping out the security guys, but loses Mick.

Amazing Red vs. Kiyoshi vs. Abdul Bashir vs. Jay Lethal vs. Consequences Creed: This is a ladder match, and the winner gets an X Division title shot next week! Red's the clear underdog here, and goes for the contract immediately but gets bulldogged off the ladder.

Cut to the back -- Abyss is angry and looking for Foley. No Eugene antics for Abyss tonight.

In the ring, Bashir hits Creed with a belly-to-back piledriver, and then immediately eats a Lethal Combination. Red is back in and takes out everyone with kicks and DDTs. Creed seems to spit out a mouthful of oatmeal when he takes Red's Huracanrana DDT. (I dunno if he actually threw up or if it was a "chunk job" -- the former makes me feel bad for Creed, but the latter means that someone in creative thought that that would be an awesome spot, which is a dismal idea to consider. I'll go ahead and blame Ed Ferrara.)

Red skips up the ladder and grabs the contract. Jeremy Borash does a quick interview with him on the ramp. Him vs. Samoa Joe could be really fun if they give it some time (which would surprise me).

Dr. Stevie is in back and points out -- loudly -- that the $50,000 bounty was to end Abyss' career, which clearly hasn't happened, so therefore Kevin Nash has stolen the money. Revenge tonight!

Dr. Stevie vs Kevin Nash: Stevie gets some licks in early on thanks to a distraction from Daffney, and even locks in a Cobra Clutch -- excuse me, "General Anesthesia." Nash turns it around and gives Stevie a Jackknife powerbomb -- and then pins him with one foot! This was heel vs. heel, and both guys have lousy motives, so I dunno what the deal is except to allow the bounty angle to be over while still keeping Abyss employed. Fair enough, I guess.

Traci Brooks vs. Christy Hemme: This is a -- ugh -- "Battle of the Playboy Bunnies." Hemme and Brooks try hard, but this isn't very good. Hemme wins with a roll-up out of the corner. Post-match, Brooks gets even with a Shane Douglas-style shoulder jawbreaker.

Abyss has found Foley backstage and the two brawl until security breaks it up.

Mike Tenay hosts a sit-down with Sting and AJ Styles. Styles says he gave Sting a title shot because he has to know if he can beat Sting. Tenay asks Sting about "passing the torch," and Sting answers, rather vaguely, that he's pretty much done it all, and "it is what it is." Styles thinks that it kinda sounds like it's not passing the torch so much as, Sting just doesn't want the torch anymore -- and if Sting's not sure what he wants, maybe he shouldn't even bother lacing his boots up. "And I say that in a loving way," Styles finishes, as Sting stares a hole through him. Styles stands up and leaves.

Awesome Kong vs. ODB: Tara is out for commentary, and says that she can't figure out why ODB is mad at her for walking out during their Knockout Tag Title match last week. Wow, Tara is dim. Anyway. ODB tries some power stuff but Kong is too big. Kong takes a page out of the Nasty Boys' book with a Pit Stop. (That's a move I never needed to see again. I blame Ed Ferrara!)

Raisha Saeed comes over to the announce table and lures Tara over to ringside, where Kong grabs her -- but Tara turns that into an over-the-rope necksnap, and ODB schoolboys Kong for the pin. Rollups are Kong's kryptonite -- I don't think anyone's ever pinned her any other way.

Tara and ODB are in the ring and they shove each other, which escalates into a brawl. Kong breaks it up and hands out free Implant Busters to both of them. Generous!

Hernandez vs. Kurt Angle: A win over Angle would do wonders for Hernandez's title aspirations! Angle is sneaky and Hernandez plays the power game, at one point holding Angle up in a vertical suplex for three and a half hours. Hernandez goes for a Border Toss -- no, reversed into a German -- no, again, Hernandez reverses that into a sit-out Dominator. They brawl to the outside and there's a double count-out.

World Elite is out and they attack BOTH (!) Hernandez and Angle, dragging them to the back.

The Motor City Machine Guns announce that they have new theme music and will debut it next week -- along with a highlight reel! I don't think they're ever going to wrestle again!

The remaining Beautiful People -- Madison Rayne and Velvet Sky -- are out. They want to apologize to everyone -- they've been rude and inconsiderate for the last year, but it's all Angelina Love's fault -- she's MEAN and she made them do it! They'd like to apologize to Sarita and Taylor Wilde (who they'll be facing at Bound for Glory).

Sarita and Wilde come out, and they're awfully dubious -- as they should be -- but this doesn't stop them from shaking hands and then TURNING THEIR BACKS WHAT. The BPs attack but Sarita and Wilde IMMEDIATELY turn things around and start laying in a beating. Now another woman is out from the crowd -- a tall woman with long blond hair -- and she helps turn the tables around again. Tenay and Taz recognize her as Lacey Von Erich, and sure enough, she busts out the IRON CLAW on Sarita! OMG! The NEW Beautiful People stand triumphant.

Von Erich has some size to her, but seems pretty gawky and gangly, more like Rhaka Khan than, say, Tara. We'll see, but if their best wrestler is Madison Rayne, I don't imagine the Beautiful People being a dominant team much longer.

Eric Young vs. Matt Morgan: For a guy they seem to be pushing, Young still isn't getting much done in the ring, as he gets tossed around pretty handily by Morgan. They go to the outside where Morgan eats a chair shot by Angle, dressed as an Abyss-fan-dressed-as-Abyss, complete with "ABYSS USE MY CHAIR" painted on the chair. That guy's been there throughout the show; there must have been a switcharoo at some point. Anyway, that's a DQ.

This turns into a Main Event Mafia vs. World Elite brawl that's so big that not only does it extend over a commercial break, but they come BACK for ten seconds in the middle of the break to let us know the brawl is still ongoing! Security and refs and "front office" guys are out to break it up -- I see Scott D'Amore and Pat Kenney -- and they finally calm things down.

I still don't get the heel stable vs. heel stable thing.

The British Invasion & Rhino vs Team 3D & Bobby Lashley: Pretty standard stuff from these guys. I am really not sold on Lashley but he does a couple of things I appreciated: For one, there's a spot where Doug Williams, whipped into the corner, tries to do the up-and-over, but Lashley moves in really quickly and smoothly and grabs Williams for a running powerslam. Then we get an everyone-in-the-ring-at-once segment before Lashley Full-Nelson-slams Brutus Magnus and then makes Williams tap out with the Standing Dragon Sleeper. (Impressively, they were the legal men!)

3D take their leave but Lashley pauses to gladhand the fans -- until Samoa Joe runs in and slaps on the Coquina Clutch! Joe's eyes roll back into his head! And we're out.

Lots of action tonight -- some cool stuff, like the Abyss/Foley interaction, but a whole lot of it felt rushed, scattered, and abrupt.

--K

(edited by Karlos the Jackal on 2.10.09 0230)

Last 5 movies seen: Monsters vs. Aliens ***1/2 - Away We Go *** - Inglourious Basterds **1/2 - Pan's Labyrinth n/a - Song of the South **1/2
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John Orquiola
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Since: 28.2.02
From: Boston

Since last post: 3560 days
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#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.75
    Originally posted by Karlos the Jackal
    Von Erich has some size to her, but seems pretty gawky and gangly, more like Rhaka Khan than, say, Tara. We'll see, but if their best wrestler is Madison Rayne, I don't imagine the Beautiful People being a dominant team much longer.


I only caught this segment. Tazz made the right call: "Well, they look great." Lacey throws a clothesline about as well as Velvet takes a clothesline. That was one heatless debut.
InVerse
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Since: 26.8.02

Since last post: 2046 days
Last activity: 2009 days
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.41
    Originally posted by Karlos the Jackal
    Creed seems to spit out a mouthful of oatmeal when he takes Red's Huracanrana DDT. (I dunno if he actually threw up or if it was a "chunk job" -- the former makes me feel bad for Creed, but the latter means that someone in creative thought that that would be an awesome spot, which is a dismal idea to consider. I'll go ahead and blame Ed Ferrara.)


For what it's worth, Creed seemed to indicate it was legit on Twitter, though not in a definitive manner.

Hopefully Foley vs Abyss will be the reset of the Abyss character that I was hoping for when Raven returned a few months ago. (Also, speaking of Twitter, the image of Abyss backstage at a Toby Keith concert is almost as wrong as the image of him rooting for his fantasy football team.)

I think something that people need to keep in mind is that Bobby Lashley is still relatively green. He really only wrestled for about 3 years before his extended break and has only had a handful of matches in AAA and TNA since then. The fact that he's as good as he is is a testament to his natural ability and having spent a good deal of those 3 years working with top talent.
Amos Cochran
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Since: 28.8.09

Since last post: 3375 days
Last activity: 3375 days
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.52
People actually class Lashley as "good"? In any way, shape or form?
InVerse
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Since: 26.8.02

Since last post: 2046 days
Last activity: 2009 days
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.41
    Originally posted by Amos Cochran
    People actually class Lashley as "good"? In any way, shape or form?


Yes
Oliver
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Since: 20.6.02

Since last post: 3314 days
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#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.31
When Mike Tenay was talking about checking out Lacey giving someone the claw, sorry, I was checking something else out. Nice camera angle

Was this the first ever match between Big Daddy Cool and Big Stevie Cool? Either way, it was kinda boring.

Loved the AJ/Sting interview.

I've missed TNA for the past month - when did Angle start shaving again? I kinda dug the homeless bum slash Jason Statham look that he had for a bit.



"I have a feeling that waiting isn't as pointless as it seems. If someone is waiting, that place becomes a place to return to."



Tsukasa to Jii-san, Kamen Rider Decade # 25



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Karlos the Jackal
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Since: 2.1.02
From: The City of Subdued Excitement

Since last post: 3011 days
Last activity: 1966 days
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.00
    Originally posted by Oliver
    I've missed TNA for the past month - when did Angle start shaving again? I kinda dug the homeless bum slash Jason Statham look that he had for a bit.
Yeah, about a month ago, I guess. Reportedly he grew it out for a movie role.

Here's an interview with Lacey Von Erich:

Click Here (miamiherald.com)

She talks a little about growing up in the business and about WWE developmental. Of particular interest with regards to TNA is this bit about her role with the Beautiful People:
    Originally posted by Lacy Von Erich
    I feel like it was made for me, and she [Angelina] wasn't a good fit for it in my opinion [...] I thought that everybody was going to be, 'Oh no. Angelina is gone,' but not one person said that. Nobody really missed her that much. I feel like I can fill the shoes that I'm supposed to.
This fits with the BP's backstage promo, in which they buried Angelina. This part of the interview sounds kayfabe to me, like they're planning to feud Lacey and Angelina when Angelina (assumably) comes back.

--K



Last 5 movies seen: Monsters vs. Aliens ***1/2 - Away We Go *** - Inglourious Basterds **1/2 - Pan's Labyrinth n/a - Song of the South **1/2
InVerse
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Since: 26.8.02

Since last post: 2046 days
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#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.41
Now that I think about it... How long will it take Russo to pair Lacey von Erich up with Suicide in some manner?
Quezzy
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Since: 6.1.02
From: Pittsburgh, PA

Since last post: 1908 days
Last activity: 1907 days
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.53
    Originally posted by InVerse
    Now that I think about it... How long will it take Russo to pair Lacey von Erich up with Suicide in some manner?


Ouch! TNA would do something stupid like that though.

    Originally posted by Karlos the Jackal

    Here's an interview with Lacey Von Erich:

    Click Here (miamiherald.com)

    She talks a little about growing up in the business and about WWE developmental. Of particular interest with regards to TNA is this bit about her role with the Beautiful People:
      Originally posted by Lacy Von Erich
      I feel like it was made for me, and she [Angelina] wasn't a good fit for it in my opinion [...] I thought that everybody was going to be, 'Oh no. Angelina is gone,' but not one person said that. Nobody really missed her that much. I feel like I can fill the shoes that I'm supposed to.
    This fits with the BP's backstage promo, in which they buried Angelina. This part of the interview sounds kayfabe to me, like they're planning to feud Lacey and Angelina when Angelina (assumably) comes back.



Nope. Apparently this was 100% Lacey being a dumbass by bashing somebody that quite frankly is 100 times better than her. TNA was reportedly upset with Lacey already and Lacey changed her tune on her Twitter page.

"I hope everyone enjoyed the show last night! Angelina Love was amazing in the beautiful people and I hope I do it justice! P.S. Don't believe rumors! I think Angelina will be missed in TNA and hope we can work together someday!"



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As to Mideon, I STILL want to see the pay-off from BigShow crushing his eye back in May (April?) of '99. But, well, that's never going to happen. Or will it? (No.)
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