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28.3.24 0507
The W - Pro Wrestling - TNA Impact 3.26.09 - "Captains, Cage, Chaos"
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used2bcool
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Since: 5.11.08
From: Ashland, MA

Since last post: 2099 days
Last activity: 1773 days
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.66
The Quick and Dirty for TNA Impact 3.26.09 from the Impact Zone in Orlando, FL.

- We get a video for tonight's 20-man gauntlet, which leads to the opening of the show. Cornette explains the rules and hypes the OTHER main event at Lockdown - Foley v Sting. Cornette says that the last two men standing in tonight's gauntlet match will be the captains come Lockdown. He says it's a new day in TNA and that everyone will have an equal opportunity. MEM come out to give their obligatory opening promo and Angle pokes fun at Cornette over his equal-opportunity schtick. He says the MEM will position Angle for captain tonight, then go into Lockdown as a team. Good call. He promises domination through 2010. Not sure Sting (or Nash) could hold up until then. Jarrett cuts him off and informs him that JJ is in tonight's gauntlet only to make sure Angle is not captain. "Choke on that, Slapnuts!" JJ pops Angle and lays in some rights before being separated by the rest of the roster.

- In the MEM locker room, Nash is with Jenna Morasca. Steiner tells Nash to save him some of that. Angle promises to stick Steiner's pipe up Jarrett's ass. Oops, there's that innuendo again.

X-Division Title: Suicide over Kiyoshi via Suicide Solution in 4 minutes. This was good for what it was, but of course it was only four minutes. I can't describe the frustration I feel when I see yet another 4-minute X-division match. What do they have to do to get say three more minutes? **1/4 on the PES.

- Backstage, Angle is prowiling around with a pipe. He can't find Jarrett in person, so he wipes out a picture of Jarrett on the wall. That man has issues. During the break, Angle finds Jarrett's office but the Frontline is in the way. Lots of threats are spouted, but nothing of note happens.

- Backstage, the Beautiful People profess their desire to be Knockouts Champs. They say they don't sweat Kong because they don't sweat at all. Velvet (I think) informs Madison Rayne that the hazing will continue tonight.

- Rough Cuts on Brother Ray. It's a good thing that TNA have focused their attention on the face part of their roster with these things.

- Tenay does a sit-down with Beer Money and Team 3D. Beer Money say that winning in Philly will make them the greatest tag team in the world, and propel them above Team 3D. Ray rips off Taz and warns Beer Money that they can survive only if "the fans in Philly let you." Roode wonders if 3D know what they've gotten into at Lockdown. He promises that there'll be no Jackie, no beer bottles, just two teams. He says this means more to Beer Money than anything else.

- Lauren catches up with Sting, who looks for logical reasons to explain what Foley did. Wrong! He then comes upon the fact that Foley has done very few logical things over the course of his career. Sting says he'll see him in the ring, and that he's prepared to come with weapons of his own. Post break, Foley says he has realized he was wrong last week and that there'll be no need for violence between him and Sting tonight. Huh?

Match 2: The Beautiful People over Awesome Kong and Raisha Saeed when Angelina Love pinned Saeed with the Lights Out in 4 minutes. A decent showcase of Knockouts talent to further this feud. I like the commentators treating this as a huge upset, as it helps Kong save face. *3/4 on the PES. Postmatch, TBP try to cut Kong's hair, but she makes her own save.

- Sting heads to the ring to demand an explanation from Foley. The Hardcore Leopard says that it was all just a miscommunication and that they'll be laughing about it soon enough. He says he was in a "slightly altered state" after eating the Angle Slam on the concrete so when he saw Sting grab the guitar he thought Sting was going to hit Jarrett. So Foley in turn saved Jarrett. He says it was a big joke, turning the crowd against himself. Oops. Sting doesn't buy into that, saying he used to respect Foley but now he's getting pissed. Foley says that the times have changed since he smacked Sting in the skull with the chair, and that everyone is talking only about Icon v Legend. He promises to make history at Lockdown. He promises he still has a couple of dives off the cage left in him. "Bang Bang!" I like Foley's subtle change of character and it has me looking forward to this match (not so much for it's quality, but rather it's conclusion) after this excellent promo.

20-Man Cage Gauntlet Match: The idea here is like a Rumble cage match with eliminations coming via pinfall or submission. A new entrant enters every 2 minutes. I'll cover the eliminations. The number in the parentheses indicates entrance number.

- Matt Morgan(6) via Black Hole Slam by Abyss.
- Homicide(7) via Cradle Shock by Chris Sabin.
- Alex Shelley(3) via Lethal Combination by Jay Lethal.
- Consequences Creed(9) via Ankle Lock by Angle.
- Chris Sabin(5) via Angle Slam by Angle.
- Jay Lethal(4) via Angle Slam by Angle.
- Naito(12) by Scott Steiner.
- Shane Sewell(14) via Angle Slam by Angle.
- AJ Styles(1) via Bookend by Booker T.
- Booker T(16) via Gore by Rhino.
- Sheik Abdul Bashir(15) via Angle Slam by Angle.
- Abyss(2) via double Uranage by Angle and Steiner.
- Eric Young(18) via Angle Slam by Angle.
- Yujiro(17) via Gore by Rhino.
- Rhino(10) via Angle Slam by Angle.
- Hernandez(19) via Angle Slam by Angle.
- Remember that Jeff Jarrett was entrant number 11 and was wiped out by Angle before he ever got to the ring.
- Scott Steiner(8) via The Stroke by JJ.
- Jeff Jarrett(11) via Angle Slam by Angle.
- Kurt Angle(13) via Muscle Buster by Samoa Joe in 44 minutes.

Angle and Joe are Lethal Lockdown captains. TNA's boneheaded booking gets in the way a bit at the end, since Joe just needed to show up and become captain by default. The last pin made no sense.

The rest of the match was a well-paced Rumble inside the cage. MCMGs and Lethal Consequences tore the house down at the beginning and the high drama at the end was also nicely done, especially Steiner and Angle laying down for each other. Generally multi-man matches in TNA are unwatchable clusterfucks, but this was very enjoyable. ***3/4 on the PES.

- Postmatch, West gets all uppity on Cornette saying Jarrett was eliminated from the match and he got two chances. Corny pulls the old "he was never pinned" card to shut him up. Angle says he beat Jarrett thrice in that match and wonders how much more he has to do. Angle tells Joe that letting him survive last time was the only mistake the MEM will ever make. He begs Joe to pick Jarrett on his team so they can end both their careers at Lockdown. Corny says he did what was right and if that involves consequences from the MEM then so be it. Backstage, Joe and his fuckin sling blade are with Lauren. Joe says he has no interest in being captain or fighting the good fight. He says he doesn't know who the captain or the team will be, but he and his fuckin sling blade will be at Lockdown to torture every Mafia member. Well, after the high of that excellent match, this was utter shit.

- End Show.

Wrestling Counter: 52 minutes.

--> This was a nice show highlighted by the Gauntlet Match. I was apprehensive about it first, but it was well-booked with the correct people given the time to shine in the spotlight. Except the dumbass ending, there was little wrong with the booking of that match. The focus seems to have returned to the top of the card, which is always a good thing. Some loose ends need to be tied up, and for the umpteenth time, that fuckin sling blade needs to go. I like the 50/50 booking of Foley/Sting, but several people have validly pointed out that it can ultimately hurt PPV buys, so that just might be a personal thing. Oh, and Suicide should unmask any week now, as my interest window is beginning to dwindle.

-->PES: ***1/4.

Goddammit, forgot the icon. Mods, please?


(edited by used2bcool on 27.3.09 1227)


Forfeit the game, before somebody else takes you outta the game, and puts your name to shame
Cover up your face, you can't run the race
The pace is too fast, you just won't last
- "Points Of Authority" - Linkin Park
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geemoney
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Since: 26.1.03
From: Naples, FL

Since last post: 12 days
Last activity: 8 hours
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.51
Just a small nitpick- usually "quick and dirty" is used for just giving results, not extensive recaps of the show. I mean, reading that certainly wouldn't be "quick" I wouldn't think.

But I'll agree as to not getting why Joe and Angle were fighting (or why the ref was counting)- I thought maybe the winner got the first pick for his team or something, but I don't think that was the case.
oldschoolhero
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Since: 2.1.02
From: nWo Country

Since last post: 5431 days
Last activity: 5365 days
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 9.00
"No-one's talking about that other wrestling show in April"

Jesus. Coming out of anyone else's mouth that line would be funny. With Foley it's just embarrassing.

Good, long ME, but why undo Joe being captain? I mean, I know WHY-so Jarrett can step in-but if they wanted that, why not just book Jarrett to win? They're trying to have their cake and eat it, but all this does is make JJ look weak by taking a role he didn't earn and Joe look stupid (doesn't being captain help him get to the MEM?).



"And here...we...go."
Karlos the Jackal
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Since: 2.1.02
From: The City of Subdued Excitement

Since last post: 3011 days
Last activity: 1966 days
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.00
I was assuming that the winner of the final pin gets the odds advantage during the entries (2-on-1, 3-on-2, etc.) but I guess they never said that? I missed the first 20 minutes, and I thought maybe it was mentioned in there.

Speaking of the first 20 minutes, what's Suicide's finisher?

--K



Last 5 movies seen: Quantum of Solace *** - The Deadly Mantis ** - Bolt ***1/2 - Dog Day Afternoon n/a - Making an American Citizen **1/2
StaggerLee
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Since: 3.10.02
From: Right side of the tracks

Since last post: 937 days
Last activity: 937 days
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.89
Was I the only one who was pissed off at the cameramen? You have cut outs in the cage, to allow better views of the action, and they barely use them, or start off a shot inside the cut out and then back up and show cage.

Horrible production.
Mayhem
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Since: 25.4.03
From: Nashville, TN

Since last post: 2438 days
Last activity: 251 days
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.14

Man, Joe needs to talk to Abyss about the benefits of wearing a shirt when you wrestle.
used2bcool
Merguez








Since: 5.11.08
From: Ashland, MA

Since last post: 2099 days
Last activity: 1773 days
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.66
    Originally posted by geemoney
    Just a small nitpick- usually "quick and dirty" is used for just giving results, not extensive recaps of the show. I mean, reading that certainly wouldn't be "quick" I wouldn't think.


Point taken. I'll stop writing that at the beginning of the recaps. I think I did it out of habit.

    Originally posted by Karlos
    Speaking of the first 20 minutes, what's Suicide's finisher?


It's called the Suicide Solution. Wikipedia calls it a "Flipping Leg Hook Release Belly to Back Suplex." It's essentially a Teardrop Suplex (like Shawn Michaels' old finisher) or a leg-hook Saito Suplex (if you're familiar with Fire Pro Wrestling) that ends with the other guy being flipped onto his face. Here's (youtube.com) a video of the match. He hits the Suicide Solution at around 5:18.



Forfeit the game, before somebody else takes you outta the game, and puts your name to shame
Cover up your face, you can't run the race
The pace is too fast, you just won't last
- "Points Of Authority" - Linkin Park
Peter The Hegemon
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Since: 11.2.03
From: Hackettstown, NJ

Since last post: 61 days
Last activity: 30 days
#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.03
The heels had no leg to stand on complaining that Jarrett was eliminated, since he wasn't. But what they SHOULD have been complaining about was Joe being held off until he was already the winner. What's up with that? Either have him enter at the same time that JJ comes back, or two minutes after that. Stupid.

In the meantime, count them--FIFTEEN consecutive eliminations by former WWE guys. They won't make their own guys look strong at all.

It would have been *so simple* to book a Lethal Lockdown that people would have actually cared about using the whole "Main Event Mafia" (veteran WCW/WWE guys) vs. Frontline/TNA Originals guys storyline. Angle, Sting, Booker, and any of Nash, Steiner, or Jarrett against Joe, Styles, Daniels, and Abyss. (If they really can't stand to have Daniels out there as himself, then substitute Lethal or somebody.) Instead, Joe's getting stupid stuff--he's not going to be over as a badass if he doesn't actually show it in the ring, without using a knife and without having wins handed to him--and there's no Frontline group to speak of. Yuck.

On a minor note, is it my imagination or has Velvet Sky gotten implants since she started in TNA? ISTR her being, um, smaller when she started, but I could be wrong. If she has, then boo!
blackdragon
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Since: 8.12.06
From: Georgia

Since last post: 4318 days
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#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.21
I'm as big a fan of Kurt's work as you can get without considering him my favorite wrestler, but damn did he rack up the eliminations last night. I grant you the rapid fire back to back to back ones because Lethal was a bit out of it, Creed must have forgot about the Ankle Lock, and Shelly got in some token offense, but what's with jobbing out Hernandez like that. It wouldn't even look that bad if an injured Jarrett didn't immediately come in an eliminate Steiner but why are they scared of pushing the younger guys? Hernandez is over, why couldn't he get a few of those Angle eliminations? I mean damn, only nine of the other eliminations came at the hands of the rest of the roster, 2 of which were Rhinos, 1 by an injured Jarrett, and another two by MEM, which means only two elimations were caused by TNA Originals and they were at the beginning of the match. Sorry for the run on sentence here and the smarky, smark complaining, but damn, would it kill them to show the young guys a little love. And not in the "hey, we gave Creed/Lethal/MCMG time to shine in the opening minutes" but in the "OMG Lethal pinned Steiner/Booker or "that's the second pinfall Lethal has over Angle." I mean pretend that you're trying please.



Cena can't be beat because he's some unholy genetic recombinate of superstars past. I mean, you might as well call him John "Realest of the Real, Sargent Rock - Cold - A - Mania" Cena.
It's False
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Since: 20.6.02
From: I am the Tag Team Champions!

Since last post: 2199 days
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#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.37
Are they turning Awesome Kong FACE? What a colossally stupid move. Kong's heel run, in which she has yet to really be toppled, is one of the few redeeming qualities of the women's division.

Foley's promos are gold. If only he could still back it up in the ring, but that time has long since expired.

"Slapnuts" is a catchphrase that SO needed to stay dead.




"It's worth remembering that sometimes popular things are popular for a reason. Because they're GOOD or because Will Smith is in it."
Karlos the Jackal
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Since: 2.1.02
From: The City of Subdued Excitement

Since last post: 3011 days
Last activity: 1966 days
#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.00
    Originally posted by used2bcool
      Originally posted by Karlos
      Speaking of the first 20 minutes, what's Suicide's finisher?


    It's called the Suicide Solution. Wikipedia calls it a "Flipping Leg Hook Release Belly to Back Suplex." It's essentially a Teardrop Suplex (like Shawn Michaels' old finisher) or a leg-hook Saito Suplex (if you're familiar with Fire Pro Wrestling) that ends with the other guy being flipped onto his face.
Cool, thanks. That's a good move -- I think the "Suicide Solution" name is new and I wasn't sure what it was.


    Are they turning Awesome Kong FACE? What a colossally stupid move. Kong's heel run, in which she has yet to really be toppled, is one of the few redeeming qualities of the women's division.
I agreed with your assessment if you're right, but I'm going to guess you're not -- I think that was just a heel/heel match because Kong has killed everyone else -- they're just treading water until Sarah Stock's visa issues are worked out.

As far as the Main Event, I thought it was good. I have no problem with Kurt's reign of terror during the match. The only thing I didn't like was the treatment of Hernandez -- he should have been double-eliminated by Angle and Steiner, I think -- he ended up looking pretty weak.

--K



Last 5 movies seen: Quantum of Solace *** - The Deadly Mantis ** - Bolt ***1/2 - Dog Day Afternoon n/a - Making an American Citizen **1/2
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It's a damn shame to say the least. Too bad he never got to ROH, I'm sure they would have best utilized his talents, or even Japan.
- jerkflavorkoolaid, Crash's death ruled a suicide (2004)
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