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The W - Pro Wrestling - Nonsensical Blither Blather and Vince
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Lexus
Andouille








Since: 2.1.02
From: Stafford, VA

Since last post: 1462 days
Last activity: 209 days
#1 Posted on
First, a story.

Imagine, if you will, that Jim Duggan and Harley Race came back to the WWF. They would show up on Raw one night, both run in on a tag match, and declare themselves the "Rat Finks." They really get into character, too. Howard Finkle is their new manager, and they have a pet rat named Shante.

Now, these two run roughshod over the entire WWF tag team scene.

They beat Chuck and Billy. They beat the new team of Bart Gunn and Shawn Staziak. They beat another new team, Road Dogg and O'Hare.

Finally, they face up against the duo of Rikishi and Mike Rotunda, newly repackaged as marxists. They're called the "Soviet Strykerz". Huge with the crowd.

Well, after a long feud and an hour long Tag Team Iron man match, The Rat Finks finally beat the Soviet Strykerz, and are awarded the now vacant WWF Tag Team titles.

Did you take that in?

If you didn't, don't worry. It's bullshit.

It is, however, more plausible than what I saw last night on Smackdown.

Austin and Angle are having a fantastic match, when suddenly, Kane interferes and chokeslams both of them. Well, for no appearant reason, the Big Show waddles down to the ring, and chokeslams Kane. This is cool, but, here's HHH (Hunter Hearst Helmsley) to kick the Big Show in the nuts and give him the Pedigree. Then, Taker stands at the top of the ramp and glares at him.

For those of you who think that this is remotely good television, let's switch a few of the names, shall we?

Flair and Sting are having a fantastic match, when suddenly, Scott Hall interferes and chokeslams both of them. Well, for no appearant reason, Goldberg waddles down to the ring, and Jackhammers Hall. This is cool, but, here's HHH (Hollywood Hulk Hogan) to kick Goldberg in the nuts and give him a leg drop. Then, Nash stands at the top of the ramp and glares at him.

See? Told you it was retarded.



Hulk Hogan: BAD MAN!
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MoeGates
Boudin blanc








Since: 6.1.02
From: Brooklyn, NY

Since last post: 23 days
Last activity: 1 day
#2 Posted on
Schmozzy, no-contest ending once in a while on SmackDown! in order to set up a storyline (or heck, even for no reason at all) -not cause to preach about the coming downfall of the WWF.

Schmozzy, no-contest ending to every RAW and SmackDown! as well as most PPVs. WWF is going the way of WCW.

The complaints about WCW came after the ending that happened on Thrusday had become a regular, expected occurance.

With the exception of making too much use of the ref bump, WWF in the last few years is really approaching the ECW levels when it comes to clean finishes. I'm not going to complain about one free TV main event.

Moe





"Excuse me, do you have any EuroDisney T-Shirts?"
January 2nd, 2002. Paris, France. My proudest moment.

(edited by MoeGates on 11.1.02 0938)
cfgb
Bierwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: Ottawa, Ontario

Since last post: 571 days
Last activity: 31 days
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.87
But IT WOULD BE A BLATANT CASE OF IGNORING HISTORY!!!!!

What about the Slammy Awards where they destroyed the catering section? That was a good 20 minute backstage brawl! Now THAT is hate!

So I'm being just a tad picky?




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The Squire
Chipolata








Since: 8.1.02
From: Farmingdale, NY

Since last post: 6424 days
Last activity: 6417 days
#4 Posted on
It's called hype for the rumble. It's to make it seem like all of these guys will be looking to take one another out up until and during the rumble.
If WCW had a rumble, then while it would still be a useless schmozzy ending, it'd have it's place.

Now granted, that may have not even be what crossed Kane's mind at all when he wandered out. Austin may have stolen a case of chef boyardee from him and replaced it with Franco American, so thusly Kane came out to get him some REVANCH! This fact was unknown to the commentators who made their own judgements. Kane, still smarting over Angle beating him with the ankle lock 2 months ago on Smackdown decided not to be chummy with him either and chokeslam his ass as well. This unfortunately triggered off a whole bunch of succeeding events which in no way had to do with the missing box of boyardee.




They gotta bring these back!!!:
"talk to the hand because the man don't understand." - "The Crippler" Chris Benoit
"...and that is the LAST WORD." - "The Big Nasty" Paul Wight
and of course: "Don't hate the playa...HATE THE GAME~!" - WCW World Champion Booker T
The Vile One
Chourico








Since: 3.1.02

Since last post: 7889 days
Last activity: 7766 days
#5 Posted on
I'd like to point out for years, Kane has randomly interfered in WWF matches for no apparent reason. Does it make it any less stupid? No. But it makes me wonder why the internet didn't complain about it 4 years ago.




"It is a strange fate that we suffer so much fear and doubt over so small a thing...such a little thing."
-Boromir
Ubermonkeys
Frankfurter








Since: 2.1.02
From: Michigan

Since last post: 6962 days
Last activity: 6836 days
#6 Posted on
I'd like to point out for years, Kane has randomly interfered in WWF matches for no apparent reason. Does it make it any less stupid? No. But it makes me wonder why the internet didn't complain about it 4 years ago.

"The internet" (actually, people on the net, not the net itself, so you MAY have a point...*SARCASM*) did. If you didn't hear people bitching left and right, including me, when Taker and Kane were running in on a good portion of the matches on Raw, you just weren't listening very well.



I'M A TOOL, PLEASE KICK ME IN THE JUNK
Tragic1
Chourico








Since: 2.1.02
From: Rolling Meadows, Illinois

Since last post: 7814 days
Last activity: 7805 days
#7 Posted on
It also sort of fits into Kane's character to do the run-in. He's not the kind of guy to hold a press conference to announce that he's in the Rumble. His style is to go out and be mindlessly violent against whoever is in it to send the message.

Though a Kane press conference would make for good TV. "Yes Mr. Brokaw, you have a question?"



"HOROWITZ WINS! HOROWITZ WINS! HOROWITZ WINS!" Jim Ross

"INDEED" Sho Funaki

"Tool" "The Shooter" Dean Malenko
TheMarketingMajor
Bauerwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: University of Pittsburgh, UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

Since last post: 7650 days
Last activity: 7602 days
#8 Posted on

Kane is such a completely worthless character.

It's a shame because he's prolly the most talented big man around these days (in the ring I mean). You just can't do anything with his character. Well, let me rephrase that, it would be extremely difficult to come up with a storyline to make him a legit main eventer.

I'll agree with Lexus though, after SD I was just shaking my head thinking, "WTF!?!?!"

Although I do like Tragic's explaination, then why not have more guys come down so it would be more readily apparent that that's what was happening? Have a locker room clearing brawl if your theory is right.

BTW, I'd like to see Kane interviewed by that Canadian punk Peter Jennings. Of course Kane would have to tombstone him through a coffee table or something to make me happy.

I hate ABC news.



My name is E-Z-E, and I'm a Kordell Stewart mark.
BigDaddyLoco
Scrapple








Since: 2.1.02

Since last post: 327 days
Last activity: 327 days
#9 Posted on
'Rat Fink' a damn fine song.

Kane's character is fine his direction sucks. Someone needs to piss this bastard off so they can have a good long violent feud. Or Raven should get in his head and try to control him. I'd mark out for that.



cfgb
Bierwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: Ottawa, Ontario

Since last post: 571 days
Last activity: 31 days
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.87
BTW, I'd like to see Kane interviewed by that Canadian punk Peter Jennings. Of course Kane would have to tombstone him through a coffee table or something to make me happy.

HEY! Go easy on my neighbor! He comes up to the area in which my parents live (in rural West Quebec) and my friend who works the convinient store nearby swears up and down he is the BEST tipper he's ever dealt with...

Who the hell tips at a convinient store? Only someone who doesn't deserve to be tombstoned by Kane!

Save that for Pete Rose. :-)




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Mike Phoenix
Chorizo








Since: 8.1.02
From: Pittsburgh, PA

Since last post: 7459 days
Last activity: 7459 days
#11 Posted on
I thought it was just as well done as poorly done. I agree with the above statement that if they were going to do as much as they did, they could have had the locker room cleaned out, and still ended it the exact same way...

Damn... I wish I had been on earlier



---=---:---=---
[Look up a line]
Wow, that belt looks like crap... I'll take it and carry it around for years and see if people can take it away from me... What? What was that? You mean even THIS belt doesn't matter! What? I'm insulted! Get away from me you... you... defiler!

Fully Technical Wrestling http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/fullytechnicalwrestling
JasonMF
Longanisa








Since: 9.1.02

Since last post: 6148 days
Last activity: 6148 days
#12 Posted on
I will now attempt to explain the thought process for each character before coming out to join the fray on SmackDown!

Kane: Hey, I'm better than Goldust! I'm gonna go out and show everybody how much of a badass I am by kicking the asses of the top two workers on the active roster and prove that I'm a threat to win the Rumble!

Big Show: Hey, as long as Kane's lighting all those fires out there, I might as well go out and make some S'mores! Mmmmmm... Smooooooores... What? NO GRAHAM CRACKERS?? AAAAAAAUGH!!!

Triple H: Hey! That fat fuck is tryin' to steal my spot! THE MAIN EVENTS BELONG TO MEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Undertaker: Triple H has only been here since, what, '95? I've been here since '90. I don't care if he's busted his ass for the past eight months to come back from injury; I'm the Dead Man, and I'm takin' my 10% of that crowd heat! LOOKIT ME! *ptoo*



"You people have been led to believe that mediocrity is excellence. Uh-uh.

JERICHO... IS... EXCELLENCE!"
dMp
Knackwurst








Since: 4.1.02
From: The Hague, Netherlands (Europe)

Since last post: 265 days
Last activity: 15 hours
#13 Posted on

Originally posted by TheMarketingMajor

>Although I do like Tragic's explaination, then why not have more guys come down so it would be more readily apparent that that's what was happening? Have a locker room clearing brawl if your theory is right.



Dude, there was more than a week to go before the rumble. I am sure the brawl will happen this week. Doesn't it always? At least this tells us most of the big names who are entering aren't all chummy with one another like Rock and Austin suddenly are.



Imagine this is some funny signature. Then I will imagine you compliment me on it.
Tragic1
Chourico








Since: 2.1.02
From: Rolling Meadows, Illinois

Since last post: 7814 days
Last activity: 7805 days
#14 Posted on
Originally posted by BigDaddyLoco
'Rat Fink' a damn fine song.

Kane's character is fine his direction sucks. Someone needs to piss this bastard off so they can have a good long violent feud. Or Raven should get in his head and try to control him. I'd mark out for that.






Kane's character always gets limited whenver 'Taker's around because the bookers just treat him as "Undertaker's brother". Take a look back to the time we saw the character develop, most of it happened when 'Taker was on the DL from Sept '99 to May 2K. Without UT around, Kane had to develop on his own and went from being "The Undertaker's brother" to "A brooding monster of a man, who has a hard time communicationg with others due to an unhappy childhood that stems from losing his mother and his face as a small child in a fire that was set by his brother... who just happens to be The Undertaker."

In fact, the only time the Kane character can work in the presence of UT is when they're feuding, since that's the only thing that makes sense storyline wise.

Granted the WWF hasn't been much about making sense these days.



"HOROWITZ WINS! HOROWITZ WINS! HOROWITZ WINS!" Jim Ross

"INDEED" Sho Funaki

"Tool" "The Shooter" Dean Malenko
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http://www.nme.com/news/metallica/61668 So, either Hogan is being his douchebag self as always, or he was offered a spot in Metallica back in the day by Lars Ulrich. He also claimed to have liked the Stone Roses, which I refuse to believe.
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