That was awesome! Somebody at the Onion loves the wrestling. Usually, attempts at wrestling humor fall flat due to ignorance of the subject. Thanks for posting that; you made my day.
"I tear my quadracep all the time! I tore it this morning, I'm fine! I'm here, I'm jumpin' around..." -- Kurt Angle
Legendary Lucha Libre wrestlers Mil Mascaras and The Son of Santo, who say they always longed to cross over to the U.S. in search of the American Dream, Dusty Rhodes, claimed that the WWE is exploiting its Mexican wrestlers.
No it wouldn't. Your body is more durable than you think. Friday night I went back-first into a wall at full speed playing wallyball, and kept playing. You'd be sore, but you'd be fine.