This is a guest editorial by former WCW C-Team announcer Chris Cruise, absolutely tearing apart Joey Styles' announcing ability. It's long, so I won't re-print the whole thing here. An excerpt:
Originally posted by Chris Cruise, via the TorchI find Styles to be a drag on the broadcast, more irritating than incisive. His overly nasal and whiny voice is jarring and his interjections are often off-topic or contrived. He is an insincere shill, completely lacking in credibility, which Ross seemed to have in abundance. One gets the sense that Styles is just spouting lines and needs to be constantly coached. In that respect, not much has changed since his ECW days, except that the voice in his headset is McMahon's and not Heyman's. This guy is in so far over his head its a surprise he can see daylight.
...and it goes on like this. Kind of a jarring read- I didn't think anyone disliked Joey that much on commentary.
Why my Royal Rumble night sucked and more!: Experience It
He lost me when he said that Styles is behind the Coach. Coach is the real albatross around the neck of the Raw announce team, since things noticably improve when Styles/Lawler get to work alone. Why Vince keeps this guy around is beyond me.
"Oh, gosh, you know, I'm not much on speeches, but it's so gratifying to leave you wallowing in the mess you've made. You're screwed, thank you, bye."
Wow, I certainly never thought I'd hear the name "Chris Cruise" again. I'm tempted to say that guy wasn't any good, but really, he never got much of a chance to prove whether he was or not.
I'm not chalking this column up to sour grapes -- it seemed pretty sincere and genuine. But I do like Styles. He's not perfect -- he's particulary weak during intros and outros, but he's gold during the match itself, and I'm not just saying that because he knows the names of the moves.
Hey, one thing Cruise says that I've always unpopularly believed is that Vince McMahon was a terrific announcer. Yeah, he didn't know the names of the moves, but you know, I didn't much care. Vince could make a Duke Droese vs. Barry Hardy squash seem exciting. That voice! And those catchphrases! When Vince went heel back in '97, I remember being worried that it would end his announcing career, which sadly, it pretty much did. With a few exceptions, of course. Remember when they did Rock vs. Foley in an empty arena during halftime of the Super Bowl? JR was incapacitated or fired at the time and Michael Cole was the lead announcer for everything important, but Vince, despite being the biggest heel in the company, announced the match himself anyway. He obviously figured this was too big an event to entrust to Cole. And he was right -- Vince lent it a main-event feel that Cole couldn't have, and still couldn't.
Which reminds me: Cruise is also dead on about Cole. He's improved tons and he's serviceable, but he's not great and he never will be.
I guess Cruise doesn't care much for Monsoon, eh? I dunno, I always liked him, especially paired with Heenan -- but that's hardly an original sentiment.
Cruise is dead on about Style, especially the part where Styles was gawking after the Mitchell Super Bowl ad. That seemed so over-the-top that it made the segment even lamer.
He's also right about how Coach and Lawler don't seem to try to help Styles.
Joey was always a little overrated (just like ECW, really.) He's good at calling matches, but he's not good at getting over stories or angles. Whether we approve or not, that's what the WWE is in the business of.
I think Joey is being a little emasculated by the restrictions, but he needs to get over that vibe he gives off that he's to good to be calling stupid shit.
I think Cruise is just sour grapes because he never got the HUGE payday that Styles just got.
I admit Joey is no Jim Ross or Gordon Solie. But he light years ahead of Coachman and Schiavone.
Big Show: Why is he getting the Intercontinental Title shot and not me? RVD: Ahhh...maybe 'cause you're a tool. Big Show: Look. I am 7'2". I am 500 pounds. I'm a giant. RVD: Oh ok. You're a giant tool.
Not denying that whatsoever. But would you rather have just Coach & King? Considering what they have on staff, unless Michael Cole is going to do both shows, they needed someone else.
Mike Tenay is better than Styles too.
Big Show: Why is he getting the Intercontinental Title shot and not me? RVD: Ahhh...maybe 'cause you're a tool. Big Show: Look. I am 7'2". I am 500 pounds. I'm a giant. RVD: Oh ok. You're a giant tool.
I always get the feeling that Coach is trying to bury Styles on commentary. He barely lets him get a word in, and when he does, Coach will take personal shots at him, above and beyond the usual schtick that heel announcers do.
It makes for a very annoying show. I want to listen to them call a match, not hear Coach being snide and jockeying for his announcing spot.
Originally posted by asteroidboyI always get the feeling that Coach is trying to bury Styles on commentary. He barely lets him get a word in, and when he does, Coach will take personal shots at him, above and beyond the usual schtick that heel announcers do.
It makes for a very annoying show. I want to listen to them call a match, not hear Coach being snide and jockeying for his announcing spot.
I personally like that, though. The best announcing squads for me were the ones where there seemed to be a little bit of tension. Gorilla/Jesse and Vince/Jesse had great chemistry, and the latter gave off the vibe of not really liking each other very much. It worked.
I maintain that Jesse Ventura was the last great colour commentator in wrestling. Bobby Heenan was great, but definitely overstayed his welcome when he hung around WCW too long. Yes, WCW's product didn't help but Heenan's jokes were cheesy and lame by anyone's standards. Heenan was better as a manager, in small doses. Jesse, by contrast, was actually cool. He sided with heels in all situations, even characters supposedly from the USSR and Iran, and defended said heels in almost any situation. Macho Man flattening Liz in the Mega-Powers V.S. Twin Towers match from the Main Event for example was classic Jesse. Instead of using the "Owen Hart is dead" voice that all announcers in today's environment must now use to put over shworks, Jesse BLAMED her for getting in the way. Lawler used to do that, but his jokes were always lame and he just seemed like such a dork. Tazz is a tweener on colour, defending rule-bending by heels but more or less operating as a face, but at least he and Cole disagree sometimes and have chemistry.
This Chris Cruise guy loses all credibility when he says Vince was great. "Whatta maneuver" and "nicely done" thirty times a night do not a great announcer make. Also, saying that match is over and then retracting that, and admitting it was only two, was very annoying. And let us not forget him announcing the thirtieth entrant in the Royal Rumble as "the winner" during his entrance, thus forever giving away that this person would not win.
Styles is also very dorky, but compared to Jim Ross he's Samuel L. Jackson (or someone you think is cool). Ross deserved a much, much better sendoff than what he got, which he got for not being a McMahon ball-licker like Flair, but he was weak for years before they cut him loose. He was getting move names wrong, as well as the wrestlers names wrong, he was stuttering all over the place and struggling to find his words. He would end every show by screaming at the top of his lungs, usually with Triple H de-evolving before our very eyes doing that pose where he looks like he's growing wings, to the raspy strains of Ross' drawled "DAHM HYMN!"
Styles is overrated, but don't try and have that argument with a hardcore ECW fan. That's like a debate on geo-politics with one of those Gorillas who knows sign-language.
Kind of a tangent on my one memory of Chris Cruise...
I remember when they had a very extended session of WCW Saturday Night, or something similar, where the announcers were all in a room together staying up for most of the evening in some house, talking about that week's past events in WCW. Schiavone, Heenen and Chris Cruise were all there, as were some others.
Anyway, Bobby Heenen was ripping on Chris for how boring he was, and after a couple hours, Chris was pouting in the corner of the couch, arms folded and looking straight ahead with his bottom lip jutted out. Suddenly, Ric Flair burst in and Heenen became ecstatic, yelling to him about how horrible Cruise's personality was, comparing him to a "doorknob salesman". Very funny stuff.
Ken Patera was on KFAN this morning for a good 40 minutes sharing stories from back in the day. Thought I'd share their podcast cuz it is good listening. http://www.kfan.com/player/?station=KFXN-FM&program_name=podcast&program_id=KFAN_PowerTrip.