I'm sticking with the answer that I had when this came up on the old board - based on the combination of available budget, supposedly talented people involved and actual theatrical release, "Nothing But Trouble" is the worst movie of all time, if not in the history of all ever.
Royal Tenenbaums was indeed fantastic, and this being Oscar night, it's a sham (and/or shame) that it's not up for more, especially Gene Hackman.
As for the Cube, I was kind of with it until the end, where what happened (or didn't happen) and who it did or didn't happen to made me wonder what the theme of the movie was and if they really had one at all, or if they just decided on a random ending and ran with it. That bugged me - it was like an interesting Twilight Zone with no moral, or a muddled one, at the end.
Originally posted by BigDaddyLocoIt's a toss up between any Hulk Hogan movie and any Roddy Piper movie.
Aww, come on...They Live was actually an above average action film with a kinda cool concept, and Body Slam was legendary! Tonga Kid! Billy Barty! Lou Albano! Dirk Benedict! Ric Flair! Sheik Adnan! Fred Blassie! A very young Kellie Martin! (betcha forgot that one) How can you miss with that lineup?!
"You used it to shove your miserable daughter down our throats week in and week out...not anymore!" - Ric Flair gives me hope, Raw 3/18/02
I just saw one of the worst movies of all time at my friend's house. i can't believe i even watched it. COOL AS ICE. Starring vanilla ICE And god was it stupid.
Any movie starring Ice-T (read: Final Voyage, Sonic Impact) has to be on the "worst movies list," although "Mean Guns" was kind of cool with the mambo background music while a hundred criminals are shooting each other, Quake-style. Judgment Night with Dennis Leary's cheesy lines and lack of excitement for the first half of the movie has to be considered, as well as the Jennifer Lopez/Jon Voight craptacular Anaconda.
But the worst of all-time, IMO, that isn't shown at 2:00 AM on Cinemax has to be The Fast and The Furious. The movie is devoid of any plot for a good hour or so, the characters are predictable and stereotypical in nature and the car "races" are won based on who hits the NOS button last. It makes for a good comedy, but sadly the movie wasn't intentionally made to be funny. =)
My bottom 3, and I implement my personal "No MST3K films" rule:
3. Walk Like a Man. Howie Mandel thinks he's a dog. Somebody out there thought this concept would work for a movie. The big gag is that Howie's character really likes to play in wet cement. And he does it more than once. The hilarity of it all.
2. The Wizard. Fred Savage in nothing more than a 90-minute advertisement for Nintendo. It's kinda like Tommy when you peel back all the product placement, only it's just awful. Not even nostalgia makes this watchable.
Number 1: Snowboard Academy. Stop the pain. Stop the pain. It's the geeky ski guys vs. the kewl snowboard guys in the battle for the mountain. Jim Varney is in it. His character makes Ernest look like an intellectual superior. Corey Haim came down from whatever drugs he was on to join the cast. And just try to count the # of "I was on SCTV" looks on Joe Flaherty's face.
The Wizard... I remember Nintendo Power pimping that movie like there was no tomorrow, even said something about Super Mario Brothers 3 making its first ever appearance in the film.
Man, seems like no movie that has to do with video games can escape sucking. (The only one I think was any good was the first Mortal Kombat.)
I vote for "Arena," recently seen on Showtime late at night. Here, kids, is a movie that even gratuitous nudity (and Karen McDougal nudity at that) can't save.
"Arena" is kinda meant to cash in on "Gladiator (it's not the Pam Grier version from the 70's) and in fact, cribs a filmic device from "Gladior" remember those flash-cut bits from "Gladiator?"
"Arena" does that the whole movie. It's like watching a movie edited by a crackbaby.
And worse yet, the story makes no damned sense as a result. But any movie with a bunch of gay centurions jumping up and down in a circle, well-tanned Druid women fighting with hubcaps, a fight involving a chicken cage used as a weapon, and a bald woman wearing a bush is bad in a "Plan 9" kinda way.
Thank god I managed to stay away from shit like Battlefield Earth or Freddy Got Fingered..
However, I wasn't able to avoid 'Conflict of Interest'. This movie is about the relationship between a cop and his rebellish kid. I think.. The overal feel of the movie is just so craptacular.. The kid throws out some haikus which just suck, and more bs. Judd Nelson plays the criminal boss and is SO not harsh in this movie.
"...And I use that to fuck them some place fairly uncomfortable." "What, like the back of a volkswagen ?" -Mallrats
You want to see really bad movie... go rent Hardball with Keanu Reeves. The plot was bad enough with it being a bad attempt at modernizing The Bad News Bears, but the ending was probably THE WORST ending EVER~! I am not blowing things out of proportion either... Spoiler of Movie Ending to Follow This... Instead of having a happy scene of them winning the ghetto championship or someting, the people making this gem of a film decide to KILL the youngest kid on the team in some random gang shootout. The show clips of them playing the the playoff games, but have to show a dreadfully slow build to the kid getting killed (you could see it coming a mile away but didn't think they'd do it), and then have this terrible funeral scene where Reeves shows how bad of a serious actor he is (stick with action or comedy Keanu).
This movie flat out sucked, and I will put it up against any movie and I am pretty confident it will win.
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at the man.
Originally posted by TrineoYou want to see really bad movie... go rent Hardball with Keanu Reeves. The plot was bad enough with it being a bad attempt at modernizing The Bad News Bears, but the ending was probably THE WORST ending EVER~! I am not blowing things out of proportion either... Spoiler of Movie Ending to Follow This... Instead of having a happy scene of them winning the ghetto championship or someting, the people making this gem of a film decide to KILL the youngest kid on the team in some random gang shootout. The show clips of them playing the the playoff games, but have to show a dreadfully slow build to the kid getting killed (you could see it coming a mile away but didn't think they'd do it), and then have this terrible funeral scene where Reeves shows how bad of a serious actor he is (stick with action or comedy Keanu).
This movie flat out sucked, and I will put it up against any movie and I am pretty confident it will win.
I'm not goign to try to defend Hardball, because it was a bad movie, but the reason it had that ending is because it is based on a true story.
A few truly awful movies that I forgot:
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: TNG - Matthew McConaughy, Renee Zellweger, and Mrs. Rattlesnake herself, Debra star in what could have a campy little fun movie. It wasn't. It made my soul hurt.
Troll 2 - A boy tries to save his family from evil goblins in the town of NILBOG (get it?). Best scene? When the boy, realizing his family will become goblins if they eat Nilbog food, gets on the dinner table and pees on everything.
"Your mother ate my dog!"
"Well...not all of it."
4/3/02-"Your undisputed randomly selected wiener of the day"
I'm too lazy to look through all of the posts so I dont know if anyone has said this yet, but how about "The Stupids" from about five or six years ago. A true dog.
The stupids did have its redeeming moments, but the one i would pick is not "stop in the name of the Loyd", but rather when one character (i forget who) is making a mad dash for freedom of some kind and tries to climb/hurdle a fence, and gets over the top, then gets a shoe stuck and falls flat on their face. That made the movie for me.
Easily Moulin Rouge. The first 15 minutes were pure horror and the rest was not much better.
This entire thing we're involved with called the world is an opportunity to exhibit how exciting alienation can be. Life is a matter of a miracle that is collected over time by moments flabbergasted to be in each others' presence. The world is an exam, to see if we can rise into the direct experiences. Our eyesight is here as a test, to see if we can see beyond it. Matter is here as a test for our curiosity. Doubt is here as an exam for our vitality.
Speaking of "another day/another virus": Security Company Warns of New Sobig attck I sincerely hope they find the malicious little bastards that write these damn things and do something unspeakably nasty to them.