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The W - Pro Wrestling - Captionomics!
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Kawshen
Liverwurst








Since: 2.1.02
From: Bronx, NY

Since last post: 5402 days
Last activity: 3662 days
#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.17
Ladies and gentlemen of the W, once again, I bringeth the captionomics consisting of 11 screencaps. Fire away.

1)


2)


3)


4)


5)


6)


7)


8)


9)


10)


11)




(edited by Kawshen on 29.7.05 0150)



"The way I feel right now, I'd trade my mother if the right deal came along." -- Isiah Thomas.
Promote this thread!
Chumpstain
Bockwurst








Since: 21.1.02
From: Canada

Since last post: 558 days
Last activity: 558 days
#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.66

1)


The US navy unveils its revised Uncle Sam, designed to attract more female applicants, to mixed reviews

2)


"You didn't hug her. Tell me.. you didn't just hug her!"

3)


Enzyte can put a smile on anyone's face!

4)


"What, there's a no-smoking policy in the arena? That's okay, this isn't tobacco. 'That's how I roll' isn't just a catchy saying, you know."

5)


"Little Miss Muffet, sat on a tuffet, eating her curds and whey. Then along came Uncle Eddie, and he was quite ready, to take all of it away! Viva la raza!"

6)


Jeff Jarrett goes a step too far in trying to be Sting, dressing up for his Driver License photo

7)


"Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him well. See? I can make a career on stage once I blow these wrestling and rock gigs!"

8)


Paul London turns the WWE Cruiserweight title into a boombox, and no one notices

9)


"I'll get you next time, Edge! Next time!!"

10)


"Why thank you, I do think it matches my suit nicely."

11)


"What's that? I can't hear you booing me yet! I turned heel, damnit, boo louder!"

(edited by Chumpstain on 29.7.05 0111)
Gugs
Bierwurst








Since: 9.7.02
From: Sleep (That's where I'm a viking)

Since last post: 3961 days
Last activity: 3090 days
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.86


He took the Big Gold Belt away from Triple H and lived to tell the tale. He can wear ANYTHING he wants.

2)


Chris Benoit was overjoyed to find that, even in heels, Sharmell is STILL shorter than him.

3)


The General Manager was not pleased to see John Cena start ripping off Diamond Dallas Page.

4)


*sniff* "I should have never come to SmackDown. I can't get JBL's ass off my fingers."

5)


"Once upon a time, there were two fabulous wrestlers trapped in a horrible angle..."

6)


Jeff Jarrett thought that he could get away with using his own credit card for the fake Sting promo. Little did he realize that there were thousands of people at home, writing down the numbers...

7)


Chris Jericho practices for a post-wrestling career in proctology.

8)


Paul London bought an imitation WWE Tag Team Championship belt in an ultimately-fruitless attempt to relive the days when people knew who he was.

9)


Security guard (thinking): "Man...how'd his face get that red, while his arms are so WHITE?"

10)


Nobody realized that Rey Mysterio was actually standing behind the microphone.

11)


"Whatcha gonna do...oh, crap. Hurt my back."



"He is the most overrated piece of crap in the league. He bitched and whined after he got his ass beaten in New England last year, so the NFL changed the rules. Then he got his ass beaten in New England again. Every year he's the top MVP candidate. Every year he's supposed to be the best. Every year he's going to carry the Colts to the Super Bowl. And every single year he goes to New England and gets his ass beaten. And his brother's a whiny little bitch." -A friend of mine, on Peyton Manning

1,000 (bushflash.com)
Snookum
Kishke








Since: 19.6.03
From: Louisville

Since last post: 6082 days
Last activity: 6063 days
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.73
    Originally posted by gugs


    The new version of Willy Wonka takes a bizarre twist when Wonka powerslams Charlie to win the championship belt.
JoshMann
Andouille








Since: 17.11.03
From: Tallahassee, FL

Since last post: 5736 days
Last activity: 5733 days
#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.07


Batista shows a look of surprise and appreciation when he sees that the WWE sprung to hire James Brown to sing "Living in America".

2)


Chris Benoit attempts to play catch-up with Edge to reclaim his title of Pre-Eminent Wife Snatcher

3)


"You swapped WHAT at WCW?".

4)


Christian walks to the ring blissfully unaware that he's about to be destroyed by the giant nebula behind him."

5)


"A long time ago in a barrio far far away...."

6)


Jeff Jarrett shows both ways he was able to secure the TNA deal with Spike: 1) An excellent line of credit 2) He tricked them into thinking he was Sting.

7)


Chris Jericho, 10 seconds before he injures himself attempting a spinaroonie.

8)


Paul London responds to Cena's Bling Bling Belt by having an iPod installed in his belt.

9)


Matt Hardy prepares for his inevitable inclusion into the Masterlock Challenge a few months down the road.

10)


"Why YES, it's embarassing to come to one of these Lucha Social events and someone have on the same mask as you do!".

11)


Shawn Michaels has been wrestling for three years not knowing exactly what the magic combo would be to set off his bad back. And in imitating Hogan's pose, he realizes he just found it.




(edited by Blanket Jackson on 29.7.05 0902)

"He's too much of gentleman to assume that the lady he is with would have a disease and he's man enough to raise any offspring that should arise. HE IS AL WILSON."[-DEAN~, 7/22/05]
CANADIAN BULLDOG
Andouille








Since: 5.3.03
From: TORONTO

Since last post: 3989 days
Last activity: 1610 days
ICQ:  
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.33
    Originally posted by Kawshen


    1)


    Uncle Sam Wants YOU To Take Steroids.

    2)


    Booker: "Back off, dawg. I saw what you did to Sullivan's wife."

    3)


    Cena shows off how his teeth match Bischoff's hair.

    4)


    Christian: "I was being pushed to the moon. What the hell happened?"

    5)


    Eddie: "Tonight, holmes, I will be reading the first chapter from Chavo and The Chocolate Factory."

    6)


    When Sting refused to return to TNA, management had to take drastic measures...

    7)


    "I was *this* close to quitting the damn company, and then fucking Meltzer has to go and leak it to everyone...."

    8)


    Visit WWE Shopzone: Where anyone can pretend to be a champion.

    9)


    Flanked by security guards, Matt Hardy does his best to break the MasterLock.

    10)


    Rey: "So, uh, yeah. We're going to be this angle where Eddie is the father to my son. Why? I have no idea... Look, no more questions. This press conference is over."

    11)


    Michaels can hear a pin drop after the fans ponder the fact that he's telling the truth about Hogan.









The book... is... HERE!!!

Inside The Ropes lives on!!!
The official Canadian Bulldog Blog, Website, and Merchandise Center.
waffleking
Pickled pork








Since: 2.10.02
From: Missouri

Since last post: 6272 days
Last activity: 3961 days
#7 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.45

1)


Ladies and gentlemen, introducing first, your champion, the Dancing Destroyer, the King of Sting, the Count of Monte Fisto, the Master of Disaster, the one and only Apoll..... I mean Bastita!!


2)


Outdoing Gene Snitsky's foot fetish, Booker T reveals his secret turn on of watching his wife with short Canadian guys.



3)


Don't you think my shirt is funnier when I'm not wearing pants!


4)


This ass-whooping tonight is being brought to you by the letter "C".


5)


What shall I read to you tonight Dominic? Goldylocks and the 3 Vatos? Julio and the Beanstalk? Or how about my personal favorite.... El Santo vs. the Martian Zombies from Hell.


6)


Don't be a victim of identity theft. Keep your Social Security number and face paint secure.


7)


... and now I shall reinact that classic scene from Evil Dead II where Bruce Campbell wrestles his own hand.


8)


Shh... the belt is telling me secrets.


9)


While watching Matt Hardy on tv, Kevin Sullivan contemplates his return to wrestling by breaking into arenas, interrupting matches, and calling Benoit "poop" .


10)


On behalf of Smackdown, we apologize to all the fans that ordered the Great American Bash.

(edited by waffleking on 29.7.05 0948)


"No, this is Bronson, Missouri!"
RYDER FAKIN
Six Degrees of Me








Since: 21.2.02
From: ORLANDO

Since last post: 1440 days
Last activity: 1223 days
#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.31
    Originally posted by Kawshen




    “Regrets, I’ve had a few…”

    2)



    I don’t want her, you can have her, she’s too phat for me

    3)



    Yes Siree, Gee Wilikers, I am your Champion! Oh Rats, the camera’s on? WHUT, UP DAWG…BOYYEEEE! SHIZZLE NIZZLE DIZZLE

    4)



    “Hmm...all I need is a Sting Credit Card!”

    5)



    CREATIVE ISSUES: Two seconds to plan and write the "secret" angle – five weeks to come up with clever ideas for a book that Eddie can take to the ring

    6)



    Clown...

    7)



    Crystal Ball! Tell me: Should I re-sign? “Yes, Christopher –the sheets and Internet already have your obituary in wrestling written. Make them ass-clowns!” Done Deal! MARKS!

    8)



    “Hey there! I’m someone you should know!” ME: no idea

    9)



    "So, my love life has been reduced to a black guy going down on me...at least it’s not TNA!"

    10)



    RICAN? No he ain’t...

    11)



    ”I’ve got five for an autographed copy of Marty’s Rap Sheet – do I hear $10?”



(edited by RYDER FAKIN on 29.7.05 2222)

Demonstrations are a drag. Besides, we're much too high

1ryderfakin.com - THE IWC 100! And The Wrestling Dead Pool!!
CRZ
Big Brother
Administrator








Since: 9.12.01
From: ミãƒã‚¢ãƒãƒªã‚¹

Since last post: 8 days
Last activity: 2 days
ICQ:  
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.46
    Originally posted by RYDER FAKIN

Geez thanks a LOT. You have totally RUINED my "nobody EVER says anything funny EVER in these threads EVER" post that I was working so hard on. Ha ha ha ha ha ha get it hard on ha ha ha. Don't worry, jwrestle, you can still post in this thread.



©CRZ
The Thrill
Banger








Since: 16.4.02
From: Green Bay, WI

Since last post: 3633 days
Last activity: 232 days
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.25
God bless the men of 2nd Bn, 127th Inf, 32d "Red Arrow" Brigade, WI Army Nat'l Guard...good luck, and come home soon.

1)


"Now THIS is how you do a 'Mr. America' gimmick."



2)


"WhoawhoawhoawhoawhoaWHOA. Didn't I just go through this sh*t with Angle?"



3)


Bischoff remains skeptical of Cena's glowing testimonials for Botox.



4)


Remember how they took Cookie Monster's cookies away, so little kids won't get fat? Here's the next step in getting the little brats active.



5)


"And this, kids, is the story of how Uncle Eddie watered down the nWo brand name even further in the old WCW."



6)


A scene you didn't see when they threw Ric Flair in the crazyhouse on Nitro.



7)


"A powerful Sith you shall make. Henceforth, you shall be known as Darth...Ralphus."



8)


If you hold the cruiserweight belt to your ear, you can hear the fans not caring.



9)


It really was a shoot. Ring of Honor's plan to bring down WWE: The Macarena.



10)


"Thank you all for coming. We're here today to raise awareness about the severe problem of American bashing..."



11)


Not buying the whole WWE/RoH angle, HBK mocks the Hardyz' gunz-to-the-head pose.






Rebecca Louise Ross
1947-2005
R.I.P., Mom...

www.pancreatic.org

The Guinness.
Potato korv








Since: 24.4.05
From: San Diego, CA

Since last post: 2144 days
Last activity: 51 days
#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 1.10
Messed that up, pls ignore




(edited by The Guinness.Lanny Poffo? on 29.7.05 1612)


"Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?" -Donnie Darko
HMD
Andouille








Since: 8.6.02
From: Canada

Since last post: 2541 days
Last activity: 2541 days
#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.76





    Dave Batista wears the Patriot Del Wilkes old uniform, which had been planned but never used as part of his proposed team with TAFKA Goldust. Dave conveniently forgets the assless chaps.

    2)



    On the road, Sharmell is Woman.

    3)



    John Cena picks his spots. He knows that the time to mock Eric Bischoff is when he has just finished his coffee.

    4)



    Christian thinks he sees his push floating into the upper bowl, but it was just a fat guy falling off his chair.

    5)



    Even though it is not a real book, "Eddie Guerrero's Bedtime Stories" manages to debut higher on the NY Times Best Seller list than any of Madonna's kids book did.

    6)



    Jeff Jarrett finally reveals how TNA pays for everything: credit card fraud. A skill he learned from Steve Corino.

    7)



    Jericho never showered with Andre the Giant, but that doesn't mean he can't relate an amusing anecdote about the Haiti Kid and one of the Frenchman's testicles.

    8)



    Paul London reenacts his extensive job interview with Pat Patterson.

    9)



    Extensive facial surgery cannot obscure the fact that the person who now plays Matt Hardy is actually Playboy Buddy Rose.

    10)



    Rey Mysterio relates the humiliation of having stolen his attire from Paris Hilton's dog.

    11)



    Shawn Michaels shows glimmers of his old personality when he thinks his own echo is Jesus.





Hot Virgins-The World's Most Steadily Shrinking Commodity
OMEGA
Lap cheong








Since: 18.6.02
From: North Cacalacky

Since last post: 5385 days
Last activity: 2990 days
#13 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.20
I've never done one of these before, and I believe these next few captions should prove why.

2)


"Dammit, Benoit! Sullivan warned me about you~!"

6)


TNA takes false advertising to new hights.

8)


Paul: Mr. McMahon, I left the Cruiserweight belt at the hotel. D'ya mind if I just use this Tag belt for tonight?
Vince: Uh, who the fuck are you? Security!

10)


"Dominick, I'm gonna' say this just once. I don't think you heard me the first time. I did NOT have sexual relations with that woman -- You're mother..... Eddie did, I'm sorry."

sigh Sorry folks. It's all I got.

(edited by OMEGA on 30.7.05 0040)


The answer to WWE's financial problems...

Never 'Wiener of the Day', and is actually quite bitter about it.
Amazing Telephone
Salami








Since: 12.12.02
From: Winnipeg, Manitoba

Since last post: 3713 days
Last activity: 2914 days
#14 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.56
1)


...with the end result being that the first wrestling game for the PlayStation3 is titled WWE SmackDown!: LOL Look at My Hat.

2)


Three weeks of 'Jungle Fever' jokes later, Chris Benoit made a point of tracking down and punching everybody on the writing staff.

3)


No matter how much you want feedback on your new haircut, there are some people that you just shouldn't ask.

4)


"Wait a minute," Christian thought to himself, coming to a dead stop halfway to the ring. "What if Edge isn't my real brother?"

5)


"Oh, sure, you laugh now -- this shit bought Foley a second house!"

6)


Good News: there is, despite previous claims to the contrary, documented evidence of Jeff Jarrett having once been entertaining. Bad News: this picture is five years old.

7)


Seven years later, Chris Jericho finally adds the Tongan Death Grip to cap his arsenal off at 1,005 moves. Take that, Dean Malenko!

8)


As a cost-cutting measure, the WWE has abandoned the practice of personalized nameplates for lower-card belts in favour of simply glueing each belt to the current champion's face. Despite the move, morale remains high.

9)


"Guys--ack--seriously, you're cutting off the circulation t..."

10)


Yes, Rick Moranis will be reprising his role as Dark Helmet for the Spaceballs sequel, and yes, slamming the brakes during Ludicrous Speed is still a bad idea.

11)


Well, he's wearing nice suits and he's started dropping elbows on nothing during interviews -- guess a feud with Flair is next on the list.

(edited by Amazing Telephone on 30.7.05 0205)

Kevintripod
Knackwurst








Since: 11.5.03
From: Mount Pleasant, Pa.

Since last post: 23 days
Last activity: 4 days
#15 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.67
1)


"Apollo Creed couldn't carry my jock !!!! I WANT THE STALLION !!! I WANT THE STALLION !!!"

2)


"Hey....please don't squeeze the Sharmell."

3)


"Dammit Cena, quit pissing on my leg.....it wasn't funny last week and it isn't funny now !!!"

4)


"My name is Christian, but do I get cool looking religious WWE wrestling shirts to wear ?....Noooooooooooooooooo."

5)


"Hey....would you rather be watching that Diva crap on Raw ? Yeah, that's what I thought, so shut the hell up."

6)


Note: Due to cost cutting moves at TNA, the role of Sting will now be played by Jeff Jarret.

7)


"I'm telling you that I'm a true rock star and the real deal.....check out the heroin tracks on my arm !!!"

8)


"Heeeeeeeey....I can't hear the ocean......oh you guys with your crazy ribs !!!"

9)


"Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor ??? Hell noooo !!! Edge.....DEAD !!!.....Neidermeyer....DEAD !!!"

10)


"What was that ? Am I promoting the new Batman movie ? Ha ha, very funny.....next question."

11)


"Whaaat ? Ben Franklin ??? Um, I don't get it."






"Oh it's on like Donkey Kong !!!" - Stifler, American Wedding
Peter The Hegemon
Lap cheong








Since: 11.2.03
From: Hackettstown, NJ

Since last post: 61 days
Last activity: 30 days
#16 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.07



(Sung) "...'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this LAAAAAAAAND!"

6)


There are some wrestlers who would step out of the main event picture so their company can have a fighting chance to succeed. For everyone else, there's Mastercard.

7)


Jericho regrets saying that if they settled the strike in time for the start of the season, he'd eat a puck.

8)


The original prototype for Jillian Hall's mole.



BOSsportsfan34
Pepperoni








Since: 2.1.03
From: MA

Since last post: 1390 days
Last activity: 1389 days
#17 Posted on | Instant Rating: 4.31
    Originally posted by Kawshen

    1)


    So this is what Wonder Woman would look like after a sex change and a roid injection?

    2)


    Hey Chris, once you go black you never go back.

    3)

    "You thaought Sub-Zero was a great idea? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    4)


    This sucks!!! If I was 6 inches taler and 100 pounds heavier I'd be pushed to the moon.

    5)


    "Here's a new 'Bedtime Story' for you. It's called....'Transitional Champion; the WWE career of Eddie Guerrero'.

    6)


    "I own this damn company and I still have to resort to this crap?"

    7)


    "Damn, I missed this spot washing my hands in the bathroom."

    8)


    Man, what you can buy on EBay these days...

    9)


    "So crying like a chick got me my job back in the WWE?"

    10)


    Staring in "Pulp fiction II" as "The Gimp"; Rey Mysterio.

    11)


    "What was that? 'We want Bret'? We aren't in Canada are we?"






(edited by BOSsportsfan34 on 31.7.05 2205)

Nardo
Loukanika








Since: 11.9.03

Since last post: 6814 days
Last activity: 6777 days
ICQ:  
#18 Posted on

1)



"OK, try again. Remember Dave, finger not thumb..."
"Right, sorry...I want YOU!"
"No dammit! Take 26!"


3)


"Well it's been thirty minutes now and I have to admit it Eric, you may just get that job at Buckingham Palace security."


4)


Problems I have with today's fashion #1:
Look, you're hot or you're cold, make your damn mind up!


5)


The latest WWE book tie-in/biography decided to capitalise on another red hot market...
"They weren't booked for anything the next day, so Hector, Rico and Heriberto had a good time, drank a few too many Telchino Tequillas that night and . . . you know kids, shit happens in this industry."


7)



"Oh man, I've been spewing these black balls out for a few minutes now. Quick! Somebody call the guy who played Leslie Nielsen's part in Soul Plane!"


9)


After the Edge feud ended, WWE decided to ditch Matt Hardy again, and he set up a school to try and make ends meet, but his mental state was still hanging by a thread....
"Look can ANYONE here pull of a full nelson? IT'S BEEN FIVE MONTHS PEOPLE!!! CHRIS FREAKIN' MASTERS CAN DO IT!!!"

(edited by Nardo on 1.8.05 0328)


"Hardy Boys, Boyz with a Z. Is that Z supposed to scare us or something?"
-Christian
Stephanie
Landjager








Since: 2.1.02
From: Madison, WI

Since last post: 614 days
Last activity: 54 days
#19 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.22
1)


"Hey, I'm just like Apollo Creed beating the Russians!"
offscreen: "Um, Dave, that wasn't what happened..."

2)


"No, Booker, I can still feel her underwire."

3)


Cena: "Who told you the Net wouldn't like the McMahon-Austin angle done over again?"
Bischoff: "You don't have to rub it in."

4)


"Hmm...does Christian start with a C or a K?"

5)


"And now, I'll tell you the story of how I wasted all the credibility I had worked so hard to regain in one really lame angle - the WWE version."

6)


"This is the MasterCard I'm using to fund TNA by laying off the charges on Sting - people really ought to look closer at the picture."

7)


"And I looked at the card and I thought, 'Hey, it looks like Sting - what's the harm in lending him $500?'"

8)


Paul London tried to capitalize on the popularity of Cena's "spinner" belt with his "cell phone" belt. Unfortunately, the keypad was too far down the belt for it to be useful.

9)


Matt sees Tatanka hogging all of the fried shrimp on the buffet table and has to be physically restrained.

10)


Rey: "I can't tell you why I though it would be a good angle - or why I involved my son in it."
Reporter: "Do you mean Eddie Guerrero's son?"
Rey: stares at reporter, then leaves the stage

11)
Deafened by old age, Shawn can't hear the screams of the crowd warning him about the knife-wielding Bret Hart entering the ring.



I'm going twenty-four hours a day...I can't seem to stop
- "Turn Up The Radio", Autograph

Wiener Of The Day - June 10th, 2003
W Of The Day - September 11th, 2004 (add spooky music here)
TheMikeSays
Bauerwurst








Since: 30.10.04
From: Kalamazoo, MI, USA

Since last post: 6498 days
Last activity: 6245 days
#20 Posted on | Instant Rating: 0.88

You know, this once touched the groin of Rey Mysterio...


CENA: C'mon, Eric, this one is easy...

ERIC: I dunno...Meng?

CENA: NO! DDP, duh!

ERIC: Never heard of him...



YAPPAPI STRAPPATION, BROTHER!!!
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Is it just me, or do the RAW and SmackDown tapings seem pretty blase this week. I mean, they're not bad shows. It's just that, considering they were done over in the UK, I expected them to do something special on the shows.
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