First of all, if this was repeated in some other thread (I dunno how new it is) please feel free to shut this one down. I'm not good at googling stuff on the site, and with this one, I honestly don't know what I'd even search for. Anyway, this is an actual paper turned in by an actual University student.
I'm unsure which I find most disturbing: a) The teacher graded it ??? b) It got a 61% for a D- ??? c) The teacher's handwriting. That is, assuming that she's over 12.
I wonder if Mr. Freeman went to all the trouble to turn that in on his own, or if he had some "help" from a friend or two.
I'm going out on a limb here, and I mean way out, and I'm gonna guess that's not real. What teacher would use that many misspellings in their own corrections, for one?
Originally posted by emmaI'm unsure which I find most disturbing: a) The teacher graded it ??? b) It got a 61% for a D- ???
At some places, an F can get replaced on a transcript if a class is retaken at a later date, while a D or a D- cannot be replaced. Thus, the student still doesn't pass and can't bail themselves out at a later date.
Originally posted by PalpatineWI'm going out on a limb here, and I mean way out, and I'm gonna guess that's not real. What teacher would use that many misspellings in their own corrections, for one?
I'm with you. No self-respecting educational professional would even come close to dignifying that crap with a grade.
"Lita holds a Stone Cold Steve Austin home pregnancy test. What will the Bottom Line say? “Hell Yeah” or “Eh-EH”?" - Raw Satire, 6/15/04
"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." - George W. Bush
He does however include his citations, among them, tubgirl.com, which as we all know is quite the vital academic resource.
I was most impressed by Page 3, which says "This is Page 3." with no other text. A brilliant treatise on the deconstructionist nature of post-modern intellect, positing that all knowledge is subjective, therefore no text can be accepted as factual.
Just remember "The Bible tells you to smoke lots of pot, and Oedpius used to blaze with the makers of Aqua Fresh tooth paste."
To be fair, I'm sure he worked harder than any other student in the class. I mean, this is damn near artful absurdist shit. If it was an English class, I wouldn't fail him either. I mean, it's a folk tale, not a goddamn Oxy Clean Commercial.
That deserves, at the very least, a C+ for creativity.
Cerebus: RIP 1977-2004.
"What do you think it's like being created by a manic-depressive, paranoid schizophrenic, hypochondriac, misogynist with delusions of grandeur and a messiah complex?"
Yeah, we've all been there before. Probably some freshman kid, first semester in, failing the course. So this was his 'fuck you' to the system.
I've seen this type of psychology before, when I was on the verge of failing 9th grade health and family, I had to do an essay on Nuclear Families and present it to class. So I dug up a bunch of old ninja turtles (who were humans warped from nuclear fallout) and presented an action figure sex show in class. I got grounded, but man, them were the days.
I call complete bullshit on the authenticity (no prof would ever bother to grade such a monstrosity past page one,) but it's still the funniest damn thing I've read in quite some time.
Hierarchy of Deities: Sarah Vowell > Roger Ebert > Albert Pujols > God
So, um, I don't want you to believe everything you hear at the parent-teacher conference, okay, 'cause...they lie. And they exaggerate. That's why they're teachers, right? Those who can't, right, Mom? Those who can't.
I think I read somewhere that the guy was 100% stoned when he was writing and while he turned in his paper. Apparently this was a class where participation and attendance was part of the grade, and I would guess as long as he turned *something* in, he couldn't be failed on it. 61 sounds like the lowest non-F grade they could give him. On the page where it says "This page is to [sic] long," supposedly the page is done on legal (8.5 x 14) paper.
I turned in a 15 page essay on the death penalty, 7 of which pages were different cover pages (with varying titles, from "Kill 'Em All", "Ride the Lightning", "Barbecue of Death", "Kill 'em All and let God Sort Them Out"), 4 of which was an excerpt from Stephen King's "The Green Mile", a fictional peice, and anything else I actually wrote in the paper was written in lyrical prose, ala Dr. Seuss. I got a 72% for my efforts.
And I did this a few years before I ever started smoking pot.
Hold nothing sacred and you'll never be dissapointed. Especially not this statement.
No wonder the 'student' got a D; the teacher wrote "to large" instead of "too large;" if I were a teacher, this moron would have been failed instantly for missing a citation.
If it's real, then I don't know who more to feel sorry for; the student, the teacher or the university.
Not that I've heard. I'd rather have the PTI Rockem Sockem Robots. I'm supposed to be going up again next week to sit in. Maybe I can ask Tony or Mr. 74 about them then.