Originally posted by Sec19Row53If you ever want to hear the unvarnished truth, ask anyone under 6 or an old lady. That's what was on her mind, so she spoke.
Yeah, they do that, don't they? I volunteered at an Old Folks Home (Adopt a Grandparent in middle school) and my first day with the lady she looked me up and down and said "Boy you're fat." I held back from saying "Boy you're old."
Originally posted by CRZI mean, it's nice that she has a cause and all, but....how the hell do you answer THAT?
"No habla ingles."
I've found it effective in cutting off unwelcome conversations or comments from strangers, and I don't come within a million miles of looking Hispanic. Failing that, a blank stare might work.
Vampiro gave a tomstone piledriver to the Midget Blue Monkey
This immediately and unequivocally makes him PUBLIC ENEMY #1
How about "It was my mother's dying wish that I never cut my hair." If that fails, ask her if you can borrow $20. That always gets rid of people for me!
The question of whether computers can think is like the question of whether submarines can swim. -Edsgar Dijkstra
Or you could have said "But then I'd lose my superhuman strength!" and bounded away. Of course, I don't know how well you bound, so maybe this wouldn't have worked for you.
A shove in her face followed by a front sweep of her legs would have sufficed. And then to be cool, you could have thrown a wrestling catchphrase over her prone body, something like "You can't see me!" or "It's not my fault!"
It would make for a good Smoking Gun report, anyway.
Originally posted by CRZI mean, it's nice that she has a cause and all, but....how the hell do you answer THAT?
"No habla ingles."
I've found it effective in cutting off unwelcome conversations or comments from strangers, and I don't come within a million miles of looking Hispanic. Failing that, a blank stare might work.
That doesn't work worth a damn where I'm from...the person more likely than not will start rattling away in spanish.
But 99 times out of 100 that trick is all gravy anywhere north of Broward County. :)
Say you'll put your hair on the line only if she agrees to put her mask on the line as well... Oops sorry that's her face!
Err I'm not proud of what I just wrote.
smark/net attack wienerville advisory holds at ORANGE alert - High (JBL is STILL WWE champion and now smarks arch enemy HHH is the World Champion. Major red threat, but the undercard seems okay. The alert holds... for now)- 9/19
I don't know why.... but for some reason you reminded me of a story I hadn't thought of in almost four years...
My son was maybe four or five months old, and I was taking him out for a walk. Being January or so, he was bundled up, but it was quite mild outside (for Toronto). In retrospect, he could have been a little less bundled up, but I was a new father and erring on the side of caution.
ANYWAYS.. some old woman comes up to me and starts SHOUTING that he's dressed too warmly. I'm polite enough and thank her for the advice, silently thinking "And this is any your fucking business.... how?". So then... she looks into his stroller and starts TAKING HIS SHOES OFF!!! As cautious as I was being, it certainly wasn't *that* warm out, nor was it her place to do such a thing. So I got defensive, told her in no uncertain terms to get the hell away from my son, and she starts SCREAMING at the top of her lungs that I'm an incompetent father. In the middle of a crowded sidewalk!
"If you want me to watch the shows, buy tickets when you come to town, buy t-shirts, and pay for a PPV every three days, you bet your ass I'm going to hard to impress. And when you give me stuff that blows and then tell me I don't get a vote on sharing that opinion, I'm going to tell you to go catch an STD." - Hogan's My Dad
"My brother saw the Undertaker walking through an airport." - Rex "Was he no-selling?" - Me
Just be thankful that you don't work in retail, because you'll have conversations like that EVERY DAY. I once had an elderly gentleman spend close to an hour trying to convince me (and anyone else who happened to walk by the counter) that credit cards were created by the Communists in the late 1940's as part of a plot to destroy the American way of life.
Then there was the lady who insisted that I measure her son for a dress shirt:
ME: Okay, is your son here with you?
CRAZY LADY (very nonchalantly): Oh, he's dead. I'm buying this for him to wear in the casket.
ME (shocked): Oh, I'm very sorry to hear that. My condolences.
CRAZY LADY (disturbingly calm): Yeah, well, he had it coming.
ME (highly confused and a little nervous): Okay...what size shirt did he wear?
CRAZY LADY (annoyed): I don't know, that's why I want you to measure him!
I then decided that it was best for me to call a manager to deal with this particular transaction. Better safe than sorry.