Oh, man, I picked the WRONG time to break my vacation from Smackdown.... Okay, last night I taped the thing, and as I came home, I just scanned the whole show really fast without seeing a whole segment...except the Michael Cole kidnapping. My first reaction was laughter, because, really, who would miss HIM? Then came the whammy. Heineyreich thrusting at Cole from behind in a dark room. Ewwww....
Okay, to be fair, I have nothing against the gay folks, some of my friends are gay. But when it's THOSE TWO...a line must be drawn. And it was on FREAKIN FREE TV!!! I almomst lost it. So I shut off the tape after that because as it stood, it looked like I wasn't gonna sleep much anyway. Now the real kicker. I have Turner Classic Movies on my cable, and the minute I turned off the VCR and began to channel surf, no lie, Deliverance was on. Now, I have never seen that movie though I have seen spoofs of it. Guess which scene was on when I was about to surf?
Yeah, the squealing scene. I had to PS2 to sleep for God's sake. Wow, what great timing on my part to come back. Anniversary or not, the sabbatical resumes next Thursday. Did you guys catch that vibe, or were you lucky?
No, of course not, but it was set up like Cole's was against the wall by his stomach and Heidengoober was right behind him making these noises, saying he was gonna do this and that. Oh, I know about the poem, but seriously, what rational wrestling fan wouldn't puke at seeing Cole of all people getting nailed against the wall by another guy?
"For all intents and purposes, Heidenrendenreich was fucking him in the ass while muttering unsweet nuttings in his ear."
Don't forget the moneymaker...
"Aren't you gonna THANK me?!"
I thought I accidentally sat on the remote and caught a rerun of OZ for a second!
Two hours later they decided to stop at a diner Because they loved the smell of eggs and coffee I just had to smoke a cigarette and wear a hat By the time that they set off again, the sun was starting to set It made the sky look red like a nuclear ray One of them said "what do you want more than anything in this whole wide world Do you want money, do you want sex, or do you want all that success?" I thought about that one myself (Then they came upon the thing)
From, "The Church of Logic, Sin and Love" by The Men
yeah, I thought for a second that I was sick, that I was reading too much into it. "surely they are not doing male rape on Smackdown," I thought. butt, no, they were doing some wack Aryan rape angle. Every thrust from Heidenreamer proved that it wasn't me. Yes, poor shoestring was being buggered!
And TAZZ ran off to stop it? Guess not. he never found poor shoestring, who had to stay away, ostensibly to have salve applied to his battered ass, for the rest of the show. And TAZZ returned, not even mentioning the rape. Guess he felt responsible.
(edited by 3Is on 18.9.04 0247) "We all know what flies are attracted to." -KA
I found this disturbingly entertaining. I don't know if they ever told us what "Little Johnnie" was, but this might actually make Heidenreich interesting as opposed to just waiting for him to miss a spot and maim someone.
Ringmistress, I caught the same vibe, but I had watched Deliverance on videotape over this past weekend. It's a damned documentary....
It's not a new idea to try to use an announcer to get a midcard character over. Heidenreich does have a nice build and Heyman can hopefully get him over.
I would guess that the backstage skit was taped in advance, I just wonder how many takes it took him. I don't get the impression he's comfortable with a live mic yet. Same goes for Luther Rains, whose micwork with Big Show was pretty solid last night - but it had to be taped.
A good sign idea for next Smackdown would be:
"Aren't you gonna THANK me?" I smell a catchphrase...
Tune in next week to see John Heidenreich almost rape someone else...Chavo's been buried for a while, as has RVD. Gangrel could use it. Bring back Naked Mideon. The obvious choice is that RICO will try to get in line...but it is an special, season premiere so we may get Pat Patterson enjoying it...
I think Micheal Cole now knows EXACTLY what little johnny is. And I still don't think anyone cares.
More Ravishing than Rick Rude could have dreamed of, and I get the kind of women Rick would have loved, Marvelous Matt Mercerbr>LAter God bless Marvelous Matt Mercer www.MattMercer.tk
All these reactions are what happens when people start reading into a segment and taking out of it what they want. The whole segment was BRILLIANTLY written. And I'm getting the impression that the message behind what Heidenreich was saying (yes, there was a message AND a point) was lost on some people, which is too bad. He all but said that he was abused by someone else - the script was written subtly enough that the writers weren't spelling it out for us - and that his way of dealing with that is to make everyone else's life just as much hell as his own has been so far. It was very clever, if you can get past the "oh, this is too offensive and repulsive to watch" visuals. I think everyone seems to be overlooking the gold in that segment: the dialogue, not the dry-humping.
Pair this with the Dudleys storyline, the London-Kidman storyline, the positioning of Big Show so far... and I'm pretty sure there is either a new writer coming up with this stuff, or else the existing writers are now finally showing what they're capable of. Whatever the case is, I thorougly enjoyed most of Smackdown last night and look forward to these stories continuing at the pace they're at right now.
Aye, chill- I see what you mean. SO I guess that now I wont be typing in the phrase "Smackdown isnt where I go to get my daily helping of prison humor" (oops, too late...)-Interesting what you say there chill, Smackdown is getting better all of the sudden; and with the 5th anniversary special coming up next week, it might just build some momentum towards a great show (can you feel it coming?!)
Hopefully Im not getting too off-track (I am!) but I was just thinking- "Damn, Smackdown used to be really exciting to watch before" when they were showing the promo for next weeks show that had Foley, Austin, Hogan, TLC matches etc in it... The "funny" (maybe not ha-ha funny) thing about that is that a couple weeks ago on Velocity Bill Demott showed a Smackdown Throw Back (or whatever its called) clip of when Hogan came back and got cheers for like 15 minutes straight; then the other guy whose name I forget said, "Wow, reminds me of how good Smackdown used to... uh, I mean is."
Its no Deliverance connection but it is some type of vibe alright; some type of crazy vibe.
Eric: "Now to unveil my finishing move; the Bischoff lock!" Vince: "Let go of me you idiot!"
Originally posted by chillAll these reactions are what happens when people start reading into a segment and taking out of it what they want. The whole segment was BRILLIANTLY written. And I'm getting the impression that the message behind what Heidenreich was saying (yes, there was a message AND a point) was lost on some people, which is too bad. He all but said that he was abused by someone else - the script was written subtly enough that the writers weren't spelling it out for us - and that his way of dealing with that is to make everyone else's life just as much hell as his own has been so far. It was very clever, if you can get past the "oh, this is too offensive and repulsive to watch" visuals. I think everyone seems to be overlooking the gold in that segment: the dialogue, not the dry-humping.
Well said, Chill. I feel a bit of a dumbass because well if that's what you get out of a segment--the dry humping, well, then you're not getting the whole message. I totally understand. But it involved MICHAEL COLE! IF it was someone who was a tad attractive, maybe I wouldn't have been so quick to vomit. And, I honestly believe that Heiden-something or other ain't gonna last too long, so I think I'm being realistic here when I say that this segment (and the poem) ain't worth a hill of sh$t in the long run.
Originally posted by chillAll these reactions are what happens when people start reading into a segment and taking out of it what they want. ... I think everyone seems to be overlooking the gold in that segment: the dialogue, not the dry-humping.
... I thorougly enjoyed most of Smackdown last night and look forward to these stories continuing at the pace they're at right now.
(edited by chill on 17.9.04 1520)
I almost spit up on my keyboard! "Overlooking the gold?" man! you slay me! The dialogue? shit please. This is Hendenturd, not Lani Poppo. This dude is bound for Velocity Hell in a few months, if not weeks and we have to try to see the gold in him buggering Cole?
You look forward to this story continuing at this pace? What pace is that? Bully to buggery in two weeks? He bullied Cole, Cole stood up to Heyman, Heyman unleashed the manrapist to bugger Cole in a wooden box somewhere? While Tazz was so moved he took off in search of the ASSailant, didn't find him, and went back to work!
This is classic WWE crappola! In the same vein as Katy Vick. Let's just hope this goes as far as the KV angle... nowhere. Let's hope we never get to confirm that Cole was manraped. Tazz would always have that trump card in any jabbing they get into. Imagine... ~~~ Tazz: he's right Cole, you do stink. Cole: Well, at least I am taller than I am wide. Tazz: At least I haven't had a man inside me ~~~
Back to reality! This segment sucked, and I don't mean that in a ghey way!
Give it a couple years... This angle is SO "Wrestlecrap"-bound it ain't funny! Leave it to an angle Paul Heyman is involved with to have the Yaoi goodness!
Next week, Heidenreich corners Rico... A new tag team is born!
God it's sad when the most talked about angle on a wrestling program is a large man dry humping an effeminate midget...
Two hours later they decided to stop at a diner Because they loved the smell of eggs and coffee I just had to smoke a cigarette and wear a hat By the time that they set off again, the sun was starting to set It made the sky look red like a nuclear ray One of them said "what do you want more than anything in this whole wide world Do you want money, do you want sex, or do you want all that success?" I thought about that one myself (Then they came upon the thing)
From, "The Church of Logic, Sin and Love" by The Men
I'm hoping that he managed to get Rico, and when he gets him all ready, Rico's all like "Yeah! Bring it baby!" and Heiden. just doesn't know what to do.
Michael Cole, You'll never forget the name shhhhh Heiden-thrust.
smark/net attack wienerville advisory holds at ORANGE alert - High (JBL is STILL WWE champion and now smarks arch enemy HHH is the World Champion. Major red threat, but the undercard seems okay. The alert holds... for now)- 9/19
Originally posted by chillThe whole segment was BRILLIANTLY written. And I'm getting the impression that the message behind what Heidenreich was saying (yes, there was a message AND a point) was lost on some people, which is too bad. He all but said that he was abused by someone else - the script was written subtly enough that the writers weren't spelling it out for us - and that his way of dealing with that is to make everyone else's life just as much hell as his own has been so far.
Pair this with the Dudleys storyline, the London-Kidman storyline, the positioning of Big Show so far... and I'm pretty sure there is either a new writer coming up with this stuff, or else the existing writers are now finally showing what they're capable of.
Was it daddy? Or was he abused by a wrestler and now he looks to take it out on other wrestlers. Might be a possible angle there.
I understood Paul Heyman was actually spot writing a lot of stuff recently and maybe thats where the new direction/storylines are coming from.
Originally posted by GreymarchI'm hoping that he managed to get Rico, and when he gets him all ready, Rico's all like "Yeah! Bring it baby!" and Heiden. just doesn't know what to do.
Didn't that happen once when Rikishi tried to give Rico a Stinkface? He put on Vaseline Lip Therapy and puckered up!
Well; this angle could work if they made it humorous. As it stands, it just alienates the casual viewer.
Then again, with Kenzo Suzuki, Caribbean Cool and that Dean whats-his-face workout gym guy; do we need more "funny" wrestlers? (yes, Im being ironic) Keep in mind that the Eugene gimmick has nowhere to turn to but comedy either (or the heel thing, but I doubt it)-
Oh well, it could go funny but so far the whole poem thing is just coming off as awkward.
AFTERTHOUGHTS: "Heidenthrust" ha! thats funny,I forgot which one of you wrote it but it would make a great T-shirt... or foam finger... or signboard, or S.v.R. Created Wrestler... The possibilities are endless.
HULK: "Which one of you smart-asses gave me this rubber t-shirt, Brother?!"
PLEASE. PleasePleasePleasePlease... Never say "Heidenthrust" and "finger"in the same sentence again. I beg you.
Two hours later they decided to stop at a diner Because they loved the smell of eggs and coffee I just had to smoke a cigarette and wear a hat By the time that they set off again, the sun was starting to set It made the sky look red like a nuclear ray One of them said "what do you want more than anything in this whole wide world Do you want money, do you want sex, or do you want all that success?" I thought about that one myself (Then they came upon the thing)
From, "The Church of Logic, Sin and Love" by The Men