People neglect to mention how the wedding march took a delightfully dark & evil turn when Lita entered.
There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened. - The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
Originally posted by bigredmachine29My sister, who is not a wrestling fan at all, came in my room to ask to borrow a pen, only to wind up in absolute tears watching Kane's face contort and the utter ridiculousness of the wall of fire stopping Matt and Lita.
My wife and kids did basically the same thing. They never watch wrestling and always leave the family room when it's on, but tonite was the first time that I can remember in a long time where they all stayed and watched the whole show. The Rock with the divas got their curiosity, and they were riveted by the time the wedding ceremony started. At the end of the show, I was shocked when both of my kids asked me when the next time wrestling was going to be on. Even my wife went to bed without making a single negative remark about the show.
"This just got a hell of a lot better." - Stifler, American Pie
Originally posted by bigredmachine29My sister, who is not a wrestling fan at all, came in my room to ask to borrow a pen, only to wind up in absolute tears watching Kane's face contort and the utter ridiculousness of the wall of fire stopping Matt and Lita.
My wife and kids did basically the same thing. They never watch wrestling and always leave the family room when it's on, but tonite was the first time that I can remember in a long time where they all stayed and watched the whole show. The Rock with the divas got their curiosity, and they were riveted by the time the wedding ceremony started. At the end of the show, I was shocked when both of my kids asked me when the next time wrestling was going to be on. Even my wife went to bed without making a single negative remark about the show.
So all the crap we bitch about (and rightfully so) just made some new fans? Damn that WWE for knowing how to pull in the unexpected viewer but then losing them with actual wrestling matches!
Good choice to make this a throw away Raw as far as matches go. Nobody would remember them anyways.
Oh and WHY was Trish in lingerie? Me liked. me liked a lot..but WHY?
(edited by dMp on 24.8.04 1241) *sigh* Why bother?
I laughed my ass off when Kane said that. It was the perfect response. During Lita's vows, you could see him getting angry and I thought he would hit her and then Matt would run out and the wedding would be off. But when she was finished and he smiled and said "That was lovely" I was useless. I fat laughed for a while after that.
I did however, think that Matt was going to beat Kane unconscious and then marry Lita right there, which would have been interesting seeing that it would have been a breech of contract. But, I think the WWE went the right way with this one and let the wedding go on. It should make for some going off camera vignettes during the next few weeks showcasing the wedding night and the honeymoon. Let's just hope the send them somewhere cheesy for their honeymoon and that they just don't show up at next weeks RAW.
Originally posted by dMp So all the crap we bitch about (and rightfully so) just made some new fans? Damn that WWE for knowing how to pull in the unexpected viewer but then losing them with actual wrestling matches!
Good choice to make this a throw away Raw as far as matches go. Nobody would remember them anyways.
Oh and WHY was Trish in lingerie? Me liked. me liked a lot..but WHY?
Hey, it's sports entertainment. I lean towards the soap opera side of wrestling more than the athletic side. So this was the perfect RAW for me!
COMPLETELY UNRELATED TO RAW NOTE OF THE WEEK: The response I never got a chance to hit in the "It's not McMahon, it's McMann" thread is...well, shit: that's not worse at all, in fact that's BETTER!! Viva la distant Scottish ancestory. Although in reality my section is a name cut from its German roots, so there's no relation...but of all the people to MISS the spelling of that name, *I* have to be in that thread making a McMahon joke as well and not knowing it was spelled McMann? That's just funnier than most of you realize.
OK, I'm done now.
I didn't really get to start watching RAW until about 10:40 or so last night, just in time for the wedding:
-Hey, it's a wedding as co-planned by David Lynch and Tom Wolfe!! Remembering that the second or third rule of comedy is midgets are funny, there are not one but TWO midgets as ring bearers, who with a name like that must have been at least cousins. The "acting" job Lita does during the vows will live in infamy as she's trying to articulate hate OFF AN INDEX CARD and still flubs it three times. That could very well be the ultimate "Lita showing DULL SURPRISE" moment. It may never be topped.
-The minister would have been best served to channel the minister from Spaceballs after a couple of minutes. But it was a good spin on the Austin rescue from some years ago, as in sometimes it doesn't always go as planned, as in Taker never thought to magistrate a giant wall of fire as a no escape...and it may have been one of those Horror Movie Stupidity Moments, but wouldn't RUNNING AROUND THE RAMP have worked? Or better yet, as I was thinking as well, why not marry her yourself, Matt? But really, Kane could in fact be Mormon for all we know. He had the tuxedo for it. By the way, if they get close to continuity and refer to her as Lita Bearer now, I'll laugh my ass off.
-Although, it's too bad that they're not ACTUALLY married and this whole thing that we've just seen is NOT real. Otherwise this would make for the greatest season of Newlyweds EVER.
I loved the wedding, but I just wish that the participants were different, at least on the face side. You had Lita flub lines, Matt Hardy miss every single spot (too high on the clothesline, not even close on the TOF), and even the preacher flubbing lines.
The only thing that worked was Kane, and whoever put together that video package. I've never been prone to hyperbole (ha!), but that was the single greatest package on Raw ever (even better than Rene Dupree).
Kudos to the writers for going heavy on the entertainment side for this Raw. We can have good long matches on Raw next week or something.
Joe Wilson (looking at Interocitor manual)- Hey, here's something my wife could use in the house... Crow T. Robot- A man? Joe Wilson- An interocitor incorporating an electron sorter. Cal Meechum- Oh, she'd probably gain 20 pounds while it did all the work for her. Tom Servo- Cal, you bitch!
Just watched the blessed event on tape. Some observations y'all haven't already beat me to noting:
- Bible passages are instantly improved by a "What?!"-ing audience. I need to try that at church sometime...
- Did you hear the smattering of boos when Lita professed her undying love for Matt? I don't think it was so much from dislike of those two or this saga or from hopeless romantics shocked at saying that while wedding another, but from a growing love for Kane. I think this crazy angle is having the repercussion of making fans dig Kane with his over-the-top escapades.
- Did you see even Kane ogling Trish in her Fredrick's Of Hollywood ensemble? Yeah, better check out other ladies while you still can, big guy. This gave me an idea for a way they can take this angle: Lita can turn and become a regular wife, meaning she morphs into a nagging, overbearing, ball-and-chain pain-in-the-ass. After a divas match, we cut backstage to her asking him, "You were checking them out, weren't you?! You think she's prettier than me, don't you?!" He can be booked for a title match, but he'll have to skip it to accompany her to an arts and crafts fair and the newest Meg Ryan movie. Kane will have gotten what he wanted in a wife and kid, but he'll discover they're overrated. This might be ironic, but that hoser Alanis completely muddled that word's actual meaning.
- I found Kane giving a big boot in that white tux to be an awesome visual for some reason. I think it's sort of a James Bond thing of being the acme of dressed-up while battling over a woman.
- Were we supposed to get The Graduate vibe from Matt and Lita's aborted escape? (Considering this angle, I could probably use a synonym there...) Too bad Rush didn't cover Mrs. Robinson on that album WWE got Summertimes Blues from. They should have gone for the total homage and kept cutting before each commercial break (which, according to Screaming Ed Begley Jr., there were plenty of) to Matt quickly driving to Anaheim. Of course, there's the plothole that Kane would see Matt's imminent encroachment. But this is the angle that gave us Lita privately disclosing to Stacy in front of a camera. So, while still ridiculous, it's at least internally consistent. Heck, they could go for a third-hand parody and have Matt stop and ask for directions at a gas station manned by...say, Paul Orndorff. Of course, at this point, they could probably easily convince Chuck Heston to make a cameo.
And regarding the Orton-Hunter confrontation, that was quite a spit spray Randy let loose! It was more like HHH's pre-match spittake. And did you see he still had drool stickily dripping from his stubble while spazzing out at Randy? EEEWWW!
Well, I guess I have to go to hell now for mocking an ailing Heston...
Most people are like Slinkys; they're utterly worthless except for the giddy joy you get watching one tumble down a flight of stairs.
Between: * Tajiri's facial expressions while watching the pie-eating contest, * "My butt is hungry," * Kane's facial contortions throughout the evening, * the FALL-OVER AWESOME "Havin' My Baby" video package, * "That was lovely," * the get-me-the-hell-out-of-here preacher, * McMahon's valiant attempt to save the Diva Search contest by sending in the Rock, * the midgets, * the vows, * Lita's inability to actually _read_ her vows, * "Here Comes The Bride" shifting into a minor key when Lita appeared in black, * the Inexplicable Wall of Hellfire and Brimstone, * and the ever-popular Gratuitous Lingerie Cameo,
this was one of the best Almost Completely Devoid Of Wrestling Content RAWs ever. The only thing they missed was having Kane explain that the white dress he offered was Katie's funeral dress...
"I'm convinced that Alan Keyes' Renew America is simply a front group for people who got fired from their local Arby's for coming into work drunk." -- Jesse Taylor, Pandagon
Fun Raw, albeit too light on the in-ring athleticism.
Rock looks a heck of a lot smaller now than he used to. Say what you want, but that was the first Diva segment I actually sat through the whole thing of. While the Rock couldn't save the angle from being poor, he did at least get me to watch it.
I liked Regal being apprehensive to Benoit's offering congratulations. The crowd loved classic Flair, even though they knew they were supposed to boo him, they still popped bigtime for the Flair flop, chops, catch me off the top rope, and the eye-poke.
Welcome Back to the midcard, Eugene, you belonged here all along.
Lately I've been thinking that Kane's mask (and beard for a while) prevented us from enjoying his great facial expressions for too long.
And of course, I was too busy enjoying Orton's performance and HHH on the mic to notice Orton hadn't smiled from the moment he walked down - carrying a mouthful of loogie potion. HHH can definitely help get Orton over. They meet at PPV, Orton will retain.
Was it me, or was anyone else in the world expecting Kane to fall right in love with Trish when she came down, push Lita off the stage through a table or something, and DEMAND (in a threatening Kane way) that Bischoff make the preacher marry him and Trish? Wow, would THAT have kicked ass. Lita getting through her vows without fumbling would have kicked ass too. Come to think of it, Matt and Lita jumping through the fire and then having Kane walk right through it to kick Matt's ass while he was trying to put out the fire on Lita's dress or something would have kicked ass as well...
Now I regret skipping through the video package and music at the wedding scene. Darn. I'll agree that it was comedy gold in the 'so-bad-its-funny' motif. Even if, once again, the WWE uses "midgets" obnoxiously. (Yeah, I have a personal axe to grind, being a guy with diastrophic dwarfism. Meh.)
I'm not looking forward to the large number of slow motion spit sequences they're gonna play for Orton's highlights from now on. UGH.