That was without a doubt the most fun I've had watching Raw ever. The entire show was just hilarious. It was a ton of fun.
I really can't say anything that anyone hasn't said already. The entire wedding bit was pure gold in my book. Between the orchestra playing Kane's theme, the random midgets, the video package, Kane playing so much Diablo that he can now summon a Level 16 Fire Wall... I loved it all.
Two questions remain: 1) Was Lita wearing a thong underneath her lovely wedding dress? I only ask because I saw that she was wearing boots.
2) Could someone who taped the show transcribe Kane & Lita's wedding vows for us?
(edited by Nuclear Winter on 23.8.04 2344) Check out my 15 minutes of fame (wrestlecrap.com)
Originally posted by Nuclear Winter Could someone who taped the show transcribe Kane & Lita's wedding vows for us?
Because I'm that big of a loser....
Kane: Lita, when I first chose you to carry my seed, I thought of you simply as an instrument, nothing more. But as the days have passed, I'm happy to say that you're more than just the woman carrying my child. You are now... my property. You are mine to do with, as I see fit. You will never know freedom, you will never again feel the embrace of another man. For there is no escape, Lita. From this day forward, until the day... you... die. You... are... mine...
Lita: Kane, I hate you, worse than (mumbling). I hate you Kane, more than life itself. You are a vile, horrible man, with no soul. And even though I have no choice but to marry you, I want to make it clear that I love, and I will always love, Matt Hardy. The only joy I have now in life, is in hoping and praying for you to suffer a horrible accident, resulting in your painful and immediate death. I sincerely hope you rot in hell.
Kane: That was lovely. (laughs)
(edited by King Of Crap on 24.8.04 0028) You think WWE now is bad? Some of us had to live through 1993-1996!
1) How can they legally call the Diva Search a legit contest when they are hyping up one girl, Carmella? I noticed she is always in the center of the divas now when they line up.
2) And speaking of which, maybe I am going senile, but remember the phone vote used to eliminate one girl? Now I noticed you vote for the one you want to stay! A big difference if this is true, because Carmella would easily be voted off by the fans. However by making it a vote for the one you want to stay, makes it a lot harder to vote off people.
3) What was the point of Eugene tonight? He didn't do really anything except get knocked out for a few seconds by Batista. Did his character quickly die off or what? Then again, the gimmick only was meant to be a short term thing anyhow.
4) Two real matches tonight? It sickens me to see how much talent is being wasted by Raw.
5) And going back to the Divas. Sorry, but I am the only tired of seeing 5 skinny girls with almost the same body type? I like to see a little bit of meat on the bones.
6) It's way too early for the HHH vs Orton match at the next PPV. Batista vs Orton should be the event hyping up to Orton killing another legend, Flair, then building up to a HHH match.
7) Anyone noticed how red and swollen Regal's chest was tonight? I'll also give Flair credit, at nearly 100, he still performs and sells well.
Two points made that the best wedding in the history of the Earth. Kane's music being played by the wedding musicians and Bischoff wearing that all white suit. Simply amazing.
Originally posted by Nuclear Winter Could someone who taped the show transcribe Kane & Lita's wedding vows for us?
Because I'm that big of a loser....
Kane: Lita, when I first chose you to carry my seed, I thought of you simply as an instrument, nothing more. But as the days have passed, I'm happy to say that you're more than just the woman carrying my child. You are now... my property. You are mine to do with, as I see fit. You will never know freedom, you will never again feel the embrace of another man. For there is no escape, Lita. From this day forward, until the day... you... die. You... are... mine...
Lita: Kane, I hate you, worse than (mumbling). I hate you Kane, more than life itself. You are a vile, horrible man, with no soul. And even though I have no choice but to marry you, I want to make it clear that I love, and I will always love, Matt Hardy. The only joy I have now in life, is in hoping and praying for you to suffer a horrible accident, resulting in your painful and immediate death. I sincerely hope you rot in hell.
Kane: That was lovely. (laughs)
(edited by King Of Crap on 24.8.04 0028)
This is simply fantastic.
It's hard to imagine that a wrestling wedding could ever again reach, let alone exceeed, such heights of fantastic absurdity.
Hocking is going to have to work extra hard on the satire this week, since I don't think there's anything that could possibly top this week's Raw in terms of comedy. That wedding was just a riot from beginning to end. The Rock's bit was pretty goofy, but better than any other Diva search segment. I am now actively rooting for the crazy redhead to win, since she's the only one who seems to 'get it,' so to speak.
And speaking of the Satire, how ironic is it that HHH is the one who asks ORTON to fall down? I mean, that's his move! [tm Tony Schiavone]
When I realized that the piano and strings were playing Kane's theme, I started clapping... I'll agree, that was very cool.
Just out of curiousity... what happens in real life if someone does present a reason why the wedding shouldn't go forward? I know the topic has been tackled in movies and such, for example Shrek, but I'm wondering what might have happened if Matt had simply come out at that point and objected. Would the wedding not have gone forward?
For that matter, what would the penalty have been for Matt or Lita if they breached the contract and decided that they wouldn't have the wedding?
When Matt was taking Lita by the hand and trying to rescue her, I was saying, “Matt, head the other direction-- go back to the altar and say 'I do' yourself!” I wonder if that would have worked.
(And yes, I know wrestling's a work... I'm simply contemplating the 'ifs'.)
In any case... a very entertaining wedding. Pretty weak six-month layoff bump for Matt though, if in fact that's what it was.
That's OK, though, 'cuz here's hoping that 2005 will be the Year of Mattitude!
(edited by ekedolphin on 24.8.04 0111) “Nobody enjoys a good time more than I do, but this business of yours is as legitimate as a three-legged donkey-- which of course is illegitimate because as we all know, donkeys have four legs.”
--Lance Storm, WWF RAW, 1/21/02
Two-Time Wiener of the Day (5/27/02; 7/3/02)
Certified RFMC Member-- Ask To See My Credentials!
Good use of the Rock to try to get the Diva search over. I don't think it worked though. It wasn't Rock's best night on the mic, but that's still better than half WWE's roster. His best bits were when he made fun of individuals in the crowd....Edge v.s Jericho was very disappointing. And the finish was dumb, but as they say, it's the referee's discretion, and I suppose TECHINICALLY, they COULD DQ someone for doing that....
The Evolution segment was decent. Other than a couple of "Randy" chants, he didn't get much of a face pop. But boy was that loogie huge!....I didn't like the Flair/Regal match either. The crowd seemed conflicted on who to cheer for. And the crowd wasn't really behind Eugene tonight- I just don't think that gimmick works if you let him flounder in the mid-card....The wedding was CLASSIC. Just CLASSIC. But you'd think they'd be able to get Bischoff to pronounce "Ephesians" right....The two ends of RAW were good, but the middle wasn't worth much.
(edited by geemoney on 24.8.04 0124) MY Summerslam Hangout report and More!: Experience It
The Rock and ONLY the Rock could get away with a marijuana reference the way he did. I mean, he was just outright with it, wasn't he?
And I thought it was kinda' funny that Lita said she hates Kane more than life itself. I suppose that means she hates life A LOT. Kinda fits with the Goth look she sported tonight in the wedding.
Orton spitting in Triple H's face was awesome, I will agree, but I wonder what it'll take for our new World's Champion to be able to garner a major face reaction.
RAW certainly wasn't the best tonight, and the matches were bleh, but what the heck? I was entertained. :)
If your nose is full of boogers it's snot my fault!