Once upon a time, I carelessly dumped a large filet of cooked salmon into a garbage can without wrapping it up.
A few days later as I was walking past the can I noticed a putrid smell that I immediately recognized from my early childhood in the tenements of Portland.
I carefully lifted the lid and just as I had suspected, the trash was teeming with hundreds of maggots. Worse yet, because the can had been almost full when I dumped the salmon, the inside of the lid was covered with maggots.
The maggots inside the can didn't pose a problem, the garbage men would take most of them away when they dumped the can, but cleaning that lid wasn't going to be very pleasant.
As I carried the lid around the corner so that I could hose it down, I noticed a busy ant trail leading from the hedge across the walkway and into the garage.
"It's worth a shot", I thought to myself.
I delicately placed the lid upside-down in the middle of the ant trail and went inside to watch television.
When I came back an hour later, the ants were dragging the last of the maggots across the walkway toward the hedge. The lid, which had been teaming with maggots earlier, was now spotless.
I carefully picked up the lid, took it around to the front lawn, hosed it down, and placed it on its side next to the garbage can.
Then I went into the garage, got some ant stakes, and placed them in the busy ant trail where the lid had been.
What could've possibly entered your mind that made you post that?
(Not in an "I think you are an idiot" way or anything, just you know how sometimes you're talking about something and that makes you think of something else, then about four something elses later (in your mind) you blurt out the next thing in your stream of thoughts, and the person you're with is like "WTF?!" I'm genuinely curious about what led you to post that.)
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I have a deep childhood fear of maggots and swarms of ants. And I have played with scorpions in the deserts of the middle east and ate roasted spiders and beetles in Thailand. But when it comes to mostly harmless ants and maggots, I will clam up and puss out. If I was Boston Idol I would first jump backed and screamed like a school girl then I would send my wife out to throw some lighter fluid in the trash and burn the whole thing. I better get over this fear of ants and maggots before I have kid. Can't have my son thinking of how much sugar his dad has in the tank when I am constantly sending him out to kill bugs. And it is only ants and maggots I am scared of. I love tarantulas, snakes, lizards, all sort of creepy crawlers.
That was a classic heel move, putting the maggots against the ants like that. Genius.
R.I.P. Paul Bearer 1991-2004 Forever cemented in wrestling history
My father used to get a kick out of walking around our backyard killing ants with a blow torch. Not sure how effective it was, but he sure did get a kick out of it.
Those ants are using their political pressure to hold the maggots down. Nonetheless, the maggots brought the brawling, while the ants brought the workrate. Match started slow, but picked up at the end, building to a hot finish.
A few days later as I was walking past the can I noticed a putrid smell that I immediately recognized from my early childhood in the tenements of Portland.
Originally posted by SeVen ™I have a deep childhood fear of maggots and swarms of ants. And I have played with scorpions in the deserts of the middle east and ate roasted spiders and beetles in Thailand. But when it comes to mostly harmless ants and maggots, I will clam up and puss out. If I was Boston Idol I would first jump backed and screamed like a school girl then I would send my wife out to throw some lighter fluid in the trash and burn the whole thing. I better get over this fear of ants and maggots before I have kid. Can't have my son thinking of how much sugar his dad has in the tank when I am constantly sending him out to kill bugs. And it is only ants and maggots I am scared of. I love tarantulas, snakes, lizards, all sort of creepy crawlers.
That was a classic heel move, putting the maggots against the ants like that. Genius.
As a victim of fire ants on several occasions when I was growing up in Florida, you have every right to hate the little fuckers. I was bedridden for three days after being pushed into a 3 foot tall, five foot round mound. After that, I have kept a hatred for the bastards. As a kid I would demolish their mounds with a super soaker after that incident. I became like the Punisher.
I lived on Montgomery Street in 1971-72, then we moved across the park to Smith Street from 1972-1976. In fact a good friend of mine still owns that building.
I use the term "park" liberally. It was half paved, half dirt and broken glass, with a swingset, a slide, monkey bars, a teeter-totter, and a dried up fountain.
One of the good things I remember is the hot summer nights when all the kids on the block would stay out past 10PM playing hide and seek in that park.
Back then it was safe to do that, there were so many kids and everyone knew who belonged on the block. A few years later we started to hear stories about razor blades in apples and older kids beating up younger kids on Halloween. The world around us was changing.
Some years after I left Portland, Gerald Johnson, who had also lived on Montgomery Street, stabbed a man to death in that park.
I still remember the night Gerald and his brothers brought their electric guitars and amplifiers into their back yard, which was separated from the park by a chain link fence, a ubiquitous feature in the inner city, and gave a "free concert" for all of us kids.
We were all scared of Gerald because he had a quick temper, but it's still odd to think that a guy I knew when he was twelve grew up to be a murderer. Then again, my best friend fathered four children by three women before he was twenty-one and got kicked out of school for beating up one of his teachers.
There was one guy, Robert Peasley, who was sort of a neighborhood mascot. The older kids got their kicks by beating him up or by getting him to beat up other kids. I once ran two blocks with ten kids chasing me to avoid being the solution to their boredom.
Years later, after I moved to California, I hit a growth spurt that took me to about six feet tall and 180 pounds. I went back to Portland one summer and I was thinking about settling a few old scores. I spotted Peasley in the park from an upstairs window.
He had been beaten up so many times that he walked with a limp. That day I realized that fate had already settled my scores with the residents of that neighborhood, especially the ones still living there.
Frank
(All bets are off if I ever meet Joe Adams. Nothing disgusts me more than an instigator who never fights and hides behind his older brother. I'll make him walk like Peasley.)
Originally posted by Boston Idol(Montgomery Street, Portland, Maine)
Answered my only question.
(Not Bob Kohm)
In the context of baseball, the use of drugs hurts only the player. In the context of baseball, the use of alcohol hurts only the player. In the context of baseball, womanizing hurts whom? Maybe the wife of the player? In the context of baseball, felonies are crimes against society, not against baseball. In the context of baseball, gambling is the only crime against baseball.
Gambling, in the context of baseball, is a capital offense and Rose has richly earned-- hell, he agreed to-- his death sentence. Let him hang.
Bob Kohm, co-owner of Rotojunkies.com (rotojunkies.com) , and a large market kind of guy.
My exroommate had a... I'll call it 'WACKY' ...thing he did where he would let chicken sit outside for a few days in the back yard and let maggots get on it and it would attract all the ants to it. Then he would pour boiling oil on the ant mounds.
No shitting! It was crazy! He did it once a month. As long as I didn't go back to the corner where he laid it out, I was ok. And I can't complain cause we didn't have any ants around the yard, all over the place.
Cerebus: RIP 1977-2004.
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