FOOTAGE! of the way-too-long "Main Event" segment from last week. Right now, La Resistance, is in the ring, in yellow undies.
Fighting evil by moonlight, winning love by daylight, never running from a real fight, because it is time to WAKE UP! It's Raw, live from Atlanta, GA...and a Fashion Report, too!
Austin, in sleeveless black skull/beer bottles tshirt, jean shorts, and kneebraces, drives down on his 4-wheeler of justice. He stunners Rene, driving La Res from the ring, and proceedes to blab - he doesnt like either Brock or Goldberg. So Vince, in black suit and pink shirt is out to get some heel heat. Austin makes to do some vehicular homicide on Vince.
Victoria, smiling, in zebra striped bra, hotpants, and elbowpads, wearing the Womens' Title, and Lita, in black mesh shirt, pink lacy bra, and green shorts, vs. Jazz, in black bare-backed outfit, with Teddy, in black suit, and Molly, jiggling, in red/black. Jack Doan is the referee. Jazz quickly takes Teddy and leaves. Victoria with the quick rollup for the pin. A bad match. Post-match Molly violences Victoria big time. Eightbillion referees come out to pull them apart.
FOOTAGE! of Shawn superkicking Benoit three weeks ago. And FOOTAGE! of Benoit crossfacing Shawn last week.
In the back, Shawn is walking. Coach, in DAMN STOCKINGCAP and green sweatshirt, asks a question of Shawn.
Bisch, in a black suit and blue shirt, has some long-haired loser, in shiny bronze squared shirt, barge into his Room of Fun. So Bisch makes this hippy bitch into his apprentice. Then Austin barges in. Then Molly barges in. Bisch books Molly vs. Victoria at WrestleMania. Austin makes Molly put her hair on the line. Oh - hippy bitch incessantly introduces himself as "Jonny Blaze".
Hurricane, in green/black "H" outfit and sparkly green cape, and Rosie, in sleeveless grey sweatshirt, green/purple shorts, and orange bodysuit, vs. Jindrak, in red "Jindrak" undies and Cade, in red undies with silver hips. Mike Chioda is the official. Wasn't this on Heat last night?
In the back, Benoit stretches. Coach intrudes and inquisits.
Umm, who is "Bow Wow"? Why not a close-up of "Acts 2:38" guy? Oh, and here's some FOOTAGE! of Mick's interview from last week.
In the ring, Rico, in maroon-tassled white tights, introduces Jackie and Stacie, in evening gowns. Stacie's is pink. Jackie's is shiny zebra-striped (really small stripes). Woo-hoo! Kane, in black tights with red barbedwire stripes, interrupts this waste of time. Rico sacrifices his well-being so that the hussies may leave. Kane gets on the mic and promises a "persecution of biblical proportions". Que the blue lights, flaming "TX" symbols, chanting, and eerie video.
In the back, Coach brings Benoit and Shawn face-to-face to build tension. Somewhere, Shawn's music plays.
Shawn, in red leather with mirrors and red "Shawn Michaels HBK" tights with sundered hearts, and Benoit, in black tights with black slashes, vs. Batista, in black undies with arcing red flame, and Orton, in purple "Orton" undies with gold hip bolts. Chad Patton is the referee. Ha - there's an "Orton fears Jeb" sign in the front row, screen left. Shawn nails Benoit. Eventually all four men are down (a NASTY clothesline on Shawn by Orton).
But, there IS no "Everett, WI" with a population of umpteen-thousand. I think that's just a fiction. Yeah.
Cont. Everyone is back up. Mis-communication by the faces leads to infighting. That allows Randy to get the roll-up pin on Shawn. A nice match. Post-match the faces continue to go at it. Then HHH, Flair, and Randy and Batista all join-in on a beatdown.
Moments ago...you already saw it. In the back, Evolution is watching the monitor; that's how they know Mick is walking - somewhere.
In the ring, it's the Hilight Reel Set. To Jericho's entrance, it's Christian! (damnit, JR, shutthefuckup - "CLB" is NEVER getting over), in many-shades-of-green sweater and blue jeans, with FOOTAGE! of last week's match with Trish. Christian gives the "it's for your own good" spiel, being the friend who does what has to be done. Oh, and Christian vs. Jericho has been booked for WrestleMania. Hey - here's Jericho, in black shirt and tan cargo pants, cleanshaven. Jericho takes it to Christian, but the heel runs.
FOOTAGE! of Austin attempting to jump Vince's limo, but failing horribly. Ooo - MachoGuysWithEngines!
JR, in grey suit with white shirt and tie and black hat, and Lawler, in black "WrestleMania XX" jersey, run-down the card for WrestleMania.
In the back, we see the 4-Wheeler of Justice being towed away. Meanwhile, HHH tells the boys to take care of Foley before he heads off to bang the wife.
Rob, in purple singlet with crotch-eatin' dragon, the Tag Title over his shoulder, and BookerT, in black hot-crotch flamin' "BookerT" undies, wearing the Tag Title, (Lillian in short black shirt and skirt) vs. Mattitude, in black/white open shirt and funnypants (Ms. R. calls them "pajama bottoms") and Test, in red undies with black hip flames. Mike Chioda is the official. Scissors kick + 5Star -> pin. An average match. What the heck happened to Steiner?
In the back, Mick, in the flannel and black Smileyface in Mankind mask tshirt, tapes up.
Mick comes out - it's 9:58 so this is gonna be a much faster beatdown. Evolution (sans HHH) comes out, Randy and Batista in the same as before, Flair in a grey suit and grey shirt. Blah blah. Book Mick and Rock vs. Flair, Batista, and Randy at WrestleMania. Eventually Rocky, goateed, in sleeveless black "How long's it been/...Ass Whoopin" tshirt and black warmups with white stripes comes out; he and Mick take care of the heels. If we smell....
Overall: The first hour was a difficult time to watch. The second hour was better; but, after the first hour, I just wasn't up for it. A poor show.
Fashion Reporter Extraordinaire
Fear not the future. For that is where your dreams will come true.
Who in the fuck booked that final segment? That was goddamned anticlimactic. Did they forget how the dramatic return works? Orton offers Foley the one-on-one at WM, Foley refuses, beat down ensues, fans chant "Rocky," music hits, Rock storms the ring, whoops ass, cuts promo to establish WM match, cue credits, fade to black. HOW IN THE BLUE HELL DO YOU FUCK THAT UP?
Gee, Austin/McMahon. For the love of God, its been over 6 years. Move away. Move away. Another member of the Tough Enough Bunch? Still don't care. It would have been better if Molly pulled the old Bobby Heenan and carried Victoria's hair in a bag for a few weeks. But, hair vs. title is an interesting stip. Jericho vs. Christian? To spice up Mania, they should make it a cage match. A five man match with Foley and Flair, and yet still 60% of the match I have no use for. Well, maybe 50% as perhaps Batista has half worth. Of course, it could be interesting if the two third-generation superstars talk about backstage in the 80's as children and why Pat Patterson was instrumental in at least one of their pushes. The wacky tag partners of Michaels/Benoit still makes no sense. Then again, Jim Ross said Michaels was tagging with HBK at one point, so it must make sense.
Latest sign RSN's mind might be fading: The new plan is to vote for Jerry Remy's Wally the Beanbag Buddy as the Democratic Primary for President.
Good opening segment, thanks to the cornball acting of Vince....The women's tag match was bizzarely short, I guess only a backdrop for the Molly/Victoria feud. It's funny- I noticed Molly pulling on Victoria's hair an unnatural amount of times, so I blurted out "Uh-oh, hair v.s hair match coming up." I was close!....Victoria looks hotter as a face, oddly enough, but that shit-eating grin on the WM preview screen has GOT to go....It's odd that they'd place John Hennigan on RAW- he and Matt wrestled Saturday on Velocity, and I would think John could help out the C'weight division. Not a bad job by Johnny Blaze in his first (for the most part) on-screen acting experience....Ugh, Cade and Jindrak at WM?....
I like the "two angles intersect" with Kane/ladies, and of course Rico trying to stand up for them....Good tag match, with great job by Michaels and Benoit to keep in-fighting during the match, and after....Nice job by Christian on the mic, and props to the guy in the crowd who yelled "shutup!" You could hear it loud and clear. I'm looking forward to the Jericho/CLB match....The Main Event (i guess) was a bit sloppy. But I'm still digging the RVD/Booker tag team. Not exactly looking forward to the four-way at WM though....Awesome last segment, thanks in much part to the Rock. I especially liked his Flair strut before he nailed him. And I liked the rhyming catchpharse he did, apeing Flair's.....Hot RAW, with lots of angle developments for WrestleMania.
And in case anyone is wondering, Acts 2:38 is: "Then Peter said unto them, repent, and be baptized everyone of you in the name of Jesus Christ, for the remission of sins. And ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost."
An OK show. I really haven't cared about Rock since his Corporation heel days, so his BIG RETURN~! doesn't do anything for me.
--Austin/Vince - the point of this was...?
--women's match - too quick. But at least we didn't have to watch Lita "wrestle".
--Bisch/Austin/Molly/John Hennigan a.k.a. Johnny Blaze - now *this* segment was great. Hennigan was great, and his interactions w/ Austin & Bisch were perfect. Johnny: "What's with him?" Bisch: "He gets that way." GOLD~! Great segment.
--Cade/Jindrak vs. Helms/Rosey - their Heat match was better. Wasn't feeling this match.
--Rico/chicks/Kane - I ignored this segment.
--Benoit/HBK vs. Ecolution - OK match, I thought it was kinda lacking. Evolution beat-down puts heat on the WM match.
--Peep show - good segment.
--Book/RVD vs. Test/Hardy - hey, every match was a tag match tonight! Blah match.
--ME Interview - good job of building the Foley/Orton feud. I don't particularly care for any of the guys involved, but the crowd was *hot*.
--Misc. - that's the most heat Orton has gotten so far. Let's see if it sticks next week.
Originally posted by geemoneyAnd in case anyone is wondering, Acts 2:38 is: "Then Peter said unto them, repent, and be baptized everyone of you in the name of Jesus Christ, for the remission of sins. And ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost."
Originally posted by rockstarWho in the fuck booked that final segment? That was goddamned anticlimactic. Did they forget how the dramatic return works? Orton offers Foley the one-on-one at WM, Foley refuses, beat down ensues, fans chant "Rocky," music hits, Rock storms the ring, whoops ass, cuts promo to establish WM match, cue credits, fade to black. HOW IN THE BLUE HELL DO YOU FUCK THAT UP?
I agree that someone should hang for booking such an anticlimactic moment. As much as the leaks over the 'net and USA Today may have pissed off the higher ups, they should have remembered that a SMALL number of them read these rumors. To play them up was a total waste and killed off what could have been a killer surprise to the viewing public.
But that doesn't take away from what was a HUGE pop!
Edge: So Triple H wants me to come to Raw and fight him for the big gold belt. I've TOTALLY passed you on the card. Jericho: Yeah, but while Triple H is burying you, I get to make out with Trish in front of millions. You tell ME who the winner is here, junior!
We do have some actual meaningful feuds building for WM though. Christian and Jericho are about perfect. Benoit and Michaels are doing a great job building for their match, and tonight was no exception, from the backstage staredown to the match itself. That was the most right thing about the show tonight. Victoria and Molly? You betcha.
On the other hand, you have the tag divison. A four-way? Isn't that the throwaway thing they do to the women's division?
You almost have to wonder if the Rico/Jackie/Stacy segment’s interruption by Kane wasn’t an abrupt decision by somebody backstage. If ever a segment needed more Kane, that was it.
I don’t think they could have made Rock’s return more anticlimactic if they tried. Just BRING HIM OUT ALREADY.
Well I guess somebody decided we really needed a “Dumb Segment of the Year” candidate, didn’t we? The McMahon/Austin chase segment was the very definition of overacting. Holy CRAP that was bad.
As Blue Man Kane stood in the ring looking at the burning symbols, I had a mental picture of Undertaker, at home with Sara and their child, feet on the ottoman, beer in one hand, watching RAW, and thinking to himself, “Damn. I’m good.”
Awww. Bischoff got a puppy.
Wait a minute…If Test is working on RAW, who is Steve Richards wrestling on Heat?
Originally posted by geemoneyAnd in case anyone is wondering, Acts 2:38 is: "Then Peter said unto them, repent, and be baptized everyone of you in the name of Jesus Christ, for the remission of sins. And ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost."
Originally posted by geemoneyIt was a sign in the crowd tonight.
I already knew about the sign... my question was, why would someone bring THAT to a RAW event? Was it a hidden message, an inside joke, or am I just looking too much into things?
Originally posted by geemoneyIt was a sign in the crowd tonight.
I already knew about the sign... my question was, why would someone bring THAT to a RAW event? Was it a hidden message, an inside joke, or am I just looking too much into things?
...naw, couldn't be.
It's the first week of Lent. Some people will find any reason to preach. My guess is that's all that sign was about.
Question: How pretty was Stacy K. tonight? Answer: Extremely!
Question: How lame was the Stone Cold/Vince segment? Answer: Extremely! All I kept thinking was: I remember Booker T and Stone Cold tearing that grocery store to the ground. Nothing will ever live up to that.
Okay, I know some of you might ride me for being a Benoit-mark, and I am, but was anyone else bothered by how Benoit just went down out cold after one punch from Skinny-boy Michaels? I mean, I'm bigger than that guy, and I look like Ghandi. I don't know if Benny was just over-selling, or if that was forced on him by the Bookers. One's thing's for sure, they're not doing an outstanding job of making him look super-strong heading into WMXX. Another thing, Benoit keeps breaking out the sharp-shooter. Shades of Bret. I smell something looming at Backlash.
And did anyone else notice that blotchy mark on Michaels' neck? What the hell was that?
Wow. The Rock's back. The most electrifyi.............Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Originally posted by Mr Heel IIHey! They finally fixed the Spike logo.
Which Spike logo was broken?
As Blue Man Kane stood in the ring looking at the burning symbols, I had a mental picture of Undertaker, at home with Sara and their child, feet on the ottoman, beer in one hand, watching RAW, and thinking to himself, “Damn. I’m good.”
I can so picture that.
Awww. Bischoff got a puppy.
Wait a minute…If Test is working on RAW, who is Steve Richards wrestling on Heat?
Hey, you're right. Test was on Raw, Hurricane was on Raw, Cade and Jindrak are going to Mania, RVD has a tag belt... Oh my, I do believe Heat is empty! (The Dudleys have their match on Heat this weekend, but that doesn't count. They're showing up as a special guest 'we-have-what-it-takes-to-be-on-Raw' segment, and to make room for the Stacy/Jackie/Rico thing earlier.)
HHH: You two had better stop your ambiguiously gay excersions before I kick you happy asses out of Evolution, damn it! (H yelling at Ric & Randy from 'God Knows', http://www.fanfiction.net/.) ~~*~~*~~ Triple H is like fine wine, his grace and talents accented gracefully by his advancing years. Ah, yes, just like fine wine; that or those triple chedder nachos I forgot in the back of my fridge for three months. ~~*~~*~~ Be good, Vince. Don't be dumb.
Originally posted by JMShapiro"I don’t think they could have made Rock’s return more anticlimactic if they tried. Just BRING HIM OUT ALREADY"
Nope certainly not an electrifying segment in the slightest!!!
I'm not saying it was a bad segment in and of itself; it certainly got a big reaction and since the crowd knew ahead of time that the Rock was going to be there, it wasn't going to be a surprise for them. But the "returning face makes save" concept is as cookie cutter as it gets. Forget Booking 101, this has its own chapter in Remedial Booking for the Educationally Subnormal.
By the way, did anyone notice the ORTON FEARS JEB sign?
Originally posted by geemoneyIt was a sign in the crowd tonight.
I already knew about the sign... my question was, why would someone bring THAT to a RAW event? Was it a hidden message, an inside joke, or am I just looking too much into things?
...naw, couldn't be.
Makes as much sense as "John 3:16", I'd say.
They must've been hard up for features when they had that long segment on SportsCenter about him (The John 3:16 guy with the rainbow wig) a few weeks back.