PAS: This was easily the best show they have had since we have been doing these reports, this is a roster full of guys I don’t really care about but I pretty much enjoyed everything
What Worked
PAS: Booker T v. Mark Henry was maybe the best Booker T singles since coming to the WWE. Mark Henry continues to be the star of the show, as he has MOTN every time out. Booker T worked really stiff, and Mark Henry is really great at having a bunch of different ways to sell as a brick wall. He also set up the axe kick well, as he sold a punch to the stomach like he was going to puke. Henry doesn’t have any fancy offense but everything he does do looks really great, I think I rewound his elbow drop 3 or 4 times.
TKG: The “what will it take to knock down Henry” spots always work. I really dig the you can’t Irish whip Henry stuff too. The elbow drop was nice. I was disappointed Henry didn’t whip out his jump through the ropes move, which would have worked well in the Henry works the neck and head story. Henry’s gotten to the point where he has different offense depending on what part of the body he’s working. No bear hug in this match, but a nasty looking neck vice. Booker for his part looked real solid, easily best he’s looked post Golddust split. People give Henry alot of shit about his ten year contract and all his guaranteed money, but you watch enough New Japan and you start to feel sorry for him. He must be sitting there going “SHIT, I can be Donkey Kong, I could be the Beast...why did I sign here?”
PAS: I was really amused that a match dedicated to our Armed Forces was wrestled by four guys that look like they should be staring in “Drill Instructor 3: Butt Camp.” I’m not asking, but I am really afraid they are going to tell. Pretty okay match though, I enjoy Dupree for a guy who isn’t any good, and Cade is always fun.
TKG: Cade reminds us that he’s from Texas and hits his sweet Western lariat.
PAS: Flair sort of carried useless RVD to a slightly above average match. Outside of one bump, RVD did nothing. I am trying to think if Flair every carried as useless a spot guy before? Did he every work Master Gee George Wells? D.J. Peterson? I think Flair v. Jeff Gaylord could have been as good.
TKG: Yeah this match should really be on the “what didn’t work” section as outside of one big bump, damn did RVD suck. Also amused that while RVD has a reputation for potatoeing people, Flair still decided that he had to lean way into all of RVD’s crappy offense. Watch in slow-mo as Flair juts his face forward a good foot to catch the wild RVD superkick. Better than had any right to be.
PAS: Val Venis v. Rico was inexplicably good. All of Rico’s normally crappy offense looked good for once, and Venis was fun too. This was also like 29 minutes long, which didn’t make any sense. They had multiple near falls, each guy had sets of extended offense. This really feels like Bischoff is in control of RAW, because this felt like the kind of thing he would throw on Thunder and give a bunch of time too, which was one of the things I really loved about WCW. I remember how mad Jackie’s mom was when she made out with the JAPW jobber in the hot tub, I can just imagine what she thinks of her daughter now, as she is clearly leading a Baby Doll 1985 lifestyle, she looked as coked out as Juvi, without as pretty a face.
TKG: Rico’s offense looking good was inexplicable and I don’t expect that lightning to ever hit twice. But I enjoyed it while it struck. I had been really enjoying Venis on Heat working a work the leg based offense toward an inverted leglock. So was disappointed that he’s returned to the Blue Thunder big move offense. This is a match I was dreading and ended up being second best match on the show.
PAS: Goldberg looked really good in the handicap match, although the three heels kind of sucked. Helmsley really looked like he was cycling down, he was the fourth most roided guy in the match, and looked smaller then Jericho. I do have a problem with two Aryans (one with an iron cross on his trunks) and an Arab beating down and humiliating a Jew, is Greg Easterbrook guest booking this week?
TKG: Goldberg seems to have one neat new idea every match, which is how you entertain me. Here he refused to take Batista’s Irish whip and instead did a neat stutter step into short-arm clothesline
PAS: Goldberg also took Helmsleys knee into the chest atomic drop thingy really well as he splayed out his legs so it looked like it had alot of nasty impact. It is a spot that usually looks bad, and that is the best I have ever seen anyone take it.
What Didn’t Work
TKG: Hmm next week they’re going to do bring back the RAW Roulette. So they needed someone who was willing to shorten their career in a really stupid throw away TLC match. Welcome to RAW, Matt Hardy. Hopefully they’ll do an HLA match in Salt Lake City as it may be the only town that’ll get heel heat.
PAS: I didn’t care for the really obvious swerve tag match. They really should have built up the Matt Hardy turn a bit, although Bischoff is always fun in the ring.
TKG: I really feel like Sean Shannon as I think WWE is stealing my Neil Labute idea. As its pretty obvious at this point that they are doing a Jericho and Christian bet to see who can bed a face girl first. They better not hotshot it to end in Utah. The right creepy ending would be Lita forced to lapdance Bischoff’s wife. Remember, you heard it here first.
TKG: They’re trying to give Lance Storm a John Holmes gimmick which is just really stupid. If they’re going to book Val and Lance as a pornstar face tag team they should really book Lance Storm as Peter North and not John Holmes. At least that gimmick would work better with his spottyness.
PAS: Flair really looks like Marshall Applewhite in that black turtleneck, is Batista going to have to castrate himself?
TKG: Which explains Helmsleys really Female walk. Someone needs to take him aside and explain that men walk with shoulders shifting weight left to right, women forward and back. Thats not cultural thing, that’s universal. It’s a have a penis thing. You shift left right otherwise you’d scrape or something. But I guess that’s not an issue if you’re waiting for Halle-Bopp.
PAS: The Dudleys are the most tired act in wrestling. How in hell are they still doing the Wasssup headbutt? Those commercials stopped airing years ago. Where’s the “Avoid the Noid” double flapjack, or the “Don’t Squeeze the Charmin” bearhug/clothesline combo.
TKG: “Spuds Mckenzie” fireman’s carry/ neck breaker. This match also stunk. Who’s idea was it to put Bubba in shorts? The match was built around Bubba as face in peril with D-Von as hot tag. I mean D-Von is the worlds most mediocre face in peril....but shit he should never be the hot tag. And well Bubba really isn’t capable of switching roles either. I was amused by Ross mentioning them as 17 time tag champs. Fuck two more and they’ll lap PG-13.
PAS: The Dudleys are the most tired act in wrestling. How in hell are they still doing the Wasssup headbutt? Those commercials stopped airing years ago. Where’s the “Avoid the Noid” double flapjack, or the “Don’t Squeeze the Charmin” bearhug/clothesline combo.
TKG: “Spuds Mckenzie” fireman’s carry/ neck breaker. This match also stunk. Who’s idea was it to put Bubba in shorts? The match was built around Bubba as face in peril with D-Von as hot tag. I mean D-Von is the worlds most mediocre face in peril....but shit he should never be the hot tag. And well Bubba really isn’t capable of switching roles either. I was amused by Ross mentioning them as 17 time tag champs. Fuck two more and they’ll lap PG-13.
It goes to show just how hard it is for the WWE to put together a good tag team and not break it up. Raw just is allergic to good new tag teams. The Dudleys should have been doing the Indy circuit years ago. Why is it so hard to give me good solid tag team wrestling?
Gotta agree on Goldberg. He really is improving. I liked the two-step into a clothesline thing he did, he sold very well, and did you happen to catch that part when he caught Batista, and just tossed him onto his shoulder for the powerslam? Nice stuff.
What do you call Albert Einstein beatin' off? Give up? A stroke of genius!
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