3)Kane: "RVD, beat me if you... RVD: "Whoa dude gotta avoid those ECW time loops."
4)Undertaker and Orlando Jordan look on as Kareem Abdul-Jabbar tries to steal some airtime.
5)As Chris Jericho speaks Scott Steiner is shocked and awed by the dead crowd
6)Storm: "I, Lance Storm is going to kill the President of the United States."
7)Randy Orton is not sure how to react to the 400 lbs. woman flashing the crowd.
8)Guerrero and Tajiri find themselves locked in an aquarium by the dastardly Team Angle.
Triple H's Theme ----------------------
Time to flame the lame... time to flame the lame
It's all about the game, and how you play it I hunger for control, That why I'm with Stephanie It's all about the lame,and Vince has gotta pay me... I am the lame... you don't want to like me... I want control I used to do Joanie... I am Kev's bitch... But people still hate me I am the lame... and Zenk is going to flame me
Originally posted by KawshenYou know the drill. Enjoy.
1)FIVE Time, FIVE Time, FIVE Time,FIVE Time, FIVE Time Chef-boy-R-D eater. 2)I milked that myself this morning, Kurt. 3)Confucius Says ... Man who stand on toilet high on pot.
5)You findin' anything with that minin', BPP? 6)Now I lay us down to sleep, I pray the Lord our Souls to keep. If we should die before we wake, I ask the Lord our Souls to take. - OK, now we can have my very exciting match. Want to sing now? 7)Where's Ole When you need him, Damnit!
Originally posted by KawshenYou know the drill. Enjoy.
1)Tell me I didn't just shill this crap. 2)No thanks, Kurt, I'm lactose-intolerant. 3)Please, I really think I have a cavity. 4)Cena: Come on Taker, Tai-Bo is so 90's. 5)Jericho: No Scott, you can't join the "Buried by Trips" Club. 6)Oh crap, I forgot my spectacles! 7)HE'S BETTER THEN PAUL ROMA, I SWEAR! 8)Pam & Tommy - Tajiri & Eddy...
Booker: The man who invents non-slipping off your fork ravioli'll be one rich dawg, dawg
Kurt Angle elaborates on his post wrestling career: sperm donor
As RVD does his Liu Kang impression, Kane hides behind his towel and repeats "There's no place like home" over and over again.
Cena: Dude, I didn't know you knew Samuel L. Jackson! But what the hell happened to his pants?
Upon seeing new interviewer Mary Kate Olsen up close, Big Poppa Pump promptly loses his lunch.
After 10 awkward minutes, Lance Storm still had not moved an inch from this position
Ric and Randy: RANDY WANTS TO BE A CHICKEN, RANDY WANTS TO BE A DUCK, QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK!
A very confused Tajiri giggles like a schoolgirl as Eddie lets him know they're out of gas
(edited by Evil Antler God on 5.7.03 1822) Anybody can kick people's asses. But it takes a true monster to kick people's asses AND breastfeed at the same time - Excalibur05
"I'd rather be eating Swanson with that fine ho, sucka!" 2)
Brock: "Man, that Chef Boy-Ar-Dee is giving me bad heartburn." Kurt: "Looks like you could use a nice cold glass of milk!" 3)
RVD: "Now you just sit there with that towel on your head until you're ready to play nice, young man!" 4)
When Undertaker saw Kareem, he was shocked to see how much people *really* shrink with age. 5)
Y2J:"Steiner, you should know that chainmail only works on cruiserweights!" 6)
"Take my wife, please! Laughter! Wait, was I supposed to say that last part out loud?" 7)
Flair: "Look everybody! Randy's doing his Shane McMahon impression!" HHH: "I don't like it. I'll have to hold him down for it - nah, I'll hold him down just for fun." 8)
Eddie: "Ese, you keep smiling like that, everybody's going to get wise to our little 'tag-team', homes!" Steph
I'm going twenty-four hours a day...I can't seem to stop - "Turn Up The Radio", Autograph
It had to happen eventually: Wiener Of The Day - June 10th, 2003
2. Brock: Honey, this rollup is giving me heartburn. I need to use the bathroom. Kurt: Hey, can you believe I've nearly drank a whole freakin' gallon of milk? And it's not even June. (Note: June is Dairy Month)
3. Rob: Kane, without your mask you're no longer marketable. Nobody wants to see a big, bald guy who mopes around backstage with a towel over his head. But I'm not telling you anything you don't already know.
4. (singing) All of these are not like the other. None of these things are kinda the same. None of these things are not like the other. Now it's time to rap-out our evil plan.
5. Jericho: And our second nominee for the "Best Dressed" award is Scott Steiner, for his unique Chainmail +1 vs. Crusierweights. Steiner: (cough)
6. Lance Storm prepares to give his acceptance speech. No-one had the heart to let him know that he wasn't even nominated in any category, however.
7. Flair: Just look at this pose. How can you tell me he doesn't look more homoerotic than Rico? He's even got the lip pucker thing going people! Whoo! HHH (thinking): Wow, I never noticed that. Sure hope Kawshen doesn't get a screen cap. of this for his captions page.
8. Tajiri tries to peel his lower lip from his face. Fortuantely, the WWE had this camera installed in the car should just such an event occur.
(edited by ScreamingHeadGuy on 5.7.03 1925)
Fashion Reporter Extraordinare
Wisdom is learning from one's mistakes. Greater wisdom is learning from the mistakes of others.
Booker, despite significant praise for his awesome physique, goes on the much ballyhooed Spike Dudley diet.
Angle challenges an unwitting Brock Lesnar to down his Olympic-sized sperm sample.
RVD realizes what in his heart he already knew about his partner. Kane is not the New Diesel, Issac Yankem, or even Glen Jacobs. He's Cobra Commander.
A rare sneak peak behind the making of a tae-bo info-mercial.
Chris Jericho, wanting to stir the pot and get fired so his band can be featured on such high-quality programs as Last Call with Carson Daly, exposes Steiner in the ring by doing something Steiner can't: Straightening one of his arms.
7)
Lance Storm remembers only too late that he had a coupon for his last trip to Supercuts.
The three horsemen stand triumphant in the ring. Because Triple H insists on being War, Famine, and Death (for the company anyway) Flair and Orton are forced to share pestilence. Orton makes a funny face as he tries to figure out what that is.
A drunken Zorro hooks up with the Green Hornet's sidekick, Kato; and both choose to ignore Commissoner Gordon's distress signal.
(edited by Hogan's My Dad on 5.7.03 1739)
(edited by Hogan's My Dad on 5.7.03 1741) "Whatever I just posted above is what your mother said in bed last night."
What'chu MEAN Triple H ain't letting me do endorsements, now? 2) Lesnar: No, I couldn't eat another bite... Angle: Aw, come on. I practically insist. 3) RVD: Okay.... let's assess the situation. True enough, I said last fall that the storylines couldn't get any worse...
4) Cena: How 'bout I beat you clean? Undertaker: Nope Cena: How 'bout I win by cheating? Undertaker: Nope Cena: How 'bout I just sneak-attack you backstage? Undertaker: I don't think so. Cena: Well... can I at least beat this loser? Undertaker: Fine. 5) Steiner: Hold on, hold on.... Jericho ISN'T a woman? Keibler: 'Fraid not Jericho: That's what I kept trying to tell you last night, assclown!
6) Picture the audience in their underwear, picture the audience in their underwear... 7) HHH: (Thinking) Okay, just keep walking away slowly... no one will notice.... 8)
The number one reason why 'Dude, Where's My Car II' won't be a box office smash...
1. After his new inheritance Jamie Noble treats the WWE superstars to the finest meals. 2. Kurt: Sure was nice of Jamie to buy us all this food. Lesnar: Yes, it gets me right here. 3. RVD: Look on the bright side dude....atleast Katie Vick never saw your face.....and she's dead....so she never will! 4. Cena wonders if this is a bad time to give Undertaker the gift he bought him, a Doug Christie jersey. 5. Jericho: I'd recognize those teeth anywhere. Ralphus! I missed you pal! 6. Lance: By the time I read what's written here you could've watched my matches against Goldberg and Edge.....twice. 7. Triple H wonders why Orton is always smiling when Flair talks about Space Mountain. 8. Eddie: You do realize that when Chavo comes back I'm going to have to put you through that winshield.......Just kidding man! I would NEVER do that!
Booker T desperately awaits the day he's allowed to eat at Wendy's again.
2)
"C'mon. One more hit." "No way, Kurt. I can feel my arteries clogging now with that 'whole' crap you drink. Back to 2 percent for me."
3)
"Dude, now that the mask is off, I've signed you up for a television show that will create a whole new image for you. It's called 'What Not to Wear'." "Fuck off, Rob."
4)
"...See? I TOLD you Nathan Jones could turn black before you." "That's NOT Nathan Jones." "Is too." "Is not." "Is too."
5)
"STEINER! Was that you?" "Whoops! Tee hee"
6)
<
"I am a sexy beast."
7)
"Hey Cowboy Bob! You think YOU could have spawned this bad boy? It was ME baby!"
8)
Tajiri tries NOT to stare at Eddie's manly shaved breasts.
1) YO Vince! When I said I wanted to do some serious acting, this is not what I ment! 2) (Brock)So at the end of Titanic I cried. (Kurt) No wonder Curt Hennig wanted to kick your ass! 3)
So...do you have ANY burns on your body?4) (Cena) So Taker, where did you find Bad News Brown at? 5) So Scott, Madajah called, she wants to know why your with Stacy now and not her? 6) In the middle of cutting a promo, Lance remembers he never told Jim Duggan that Team Canada ended in WCW and that Duggan is still waiting for Storm to call him with a mission! 7) Iam RIC FLAIR dammit and WWE have the audacity to but me with Triple Crap and Injury Boy? 8) (Eddie) You know Tajiri, this is our last time as a tag team? (Tajiri) I know, but today I am back pains so please don't throw me anywhere ok?
(edited by XPacArmy on 6.7.03 1329) Shopkeeper: Take this object, but beware;it carries a terrible curse! Homer: Oooh, that's bad. Shopkeeper: But it comes with a free Frogurt! Homer: That's good! Shopkeeper: The Frogurt is also cursed. Homer: That's bad. Shopkeeper: But you get your choice of toppings! Homer: That's good! Shopkeeper: The toppings contain potassium benzoate. [Homer looks puzzled.] Shopkeeper: That's bad. Homer: Can I go now?
Originally posted by KawshenYou know the drill. Enjoy.
1) At least my commercial is better then the Rock's crappy gettin cheffy wit it 2) I got nipples Kurt, can you milk me? 3) You know kitten if someone makes fun of you because the way you look, they aren't really your friend at all 4) Are you ready to play some funky music white boys? 5) Jericho: But Stacey has a surprise for you today Scott....that's right she is pregnant with Rick's baby! 6) ....you take one down then you pass it around, then there will be 92 bottles of beer on the wall 7) Flair: All I'm saying is just because he dates Mango, does not mean he can't kick ass in the ring! 8)
Tajiri: Oh Eddie, I bet you say that to all your ethnically stereotyped tag team partners quoteend]
1) Director: Um... Booker, since things haven't panned out as we had hoped, we've decided to replace you with a Champion. Christian!! Booker: Tell me you didn't say that. 2) Kurt momentarily stops drinking his milk to confide to Brock to details of the night he and Stephanie entered the 'Love Chamber', better known as Room 814, after SummerSlam 2000. 3) RVD: Say it Kane. Tell me I was right. KANE: Okay, okay! A warm moist towel does help me get a better shave. Happy now? 4) Orlando Jones can't believe that he fell for the old 'Tell him it's a pool party and then pretend you don't notice his shock that it's actually a costume party' gag. 5) Jericho: I knew you ate my last stick of gum. Give it back now, Steiner! 6) Letter: Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to job the rest of your career away, with no hopes of ever garnering the respect that you deserve. This letter with self destruct faster than you can say 'Benoit'. 7) Randy Orton and Ric Flair pay homage to their favorite SNL Characters-- "We're two WILD and CRAZY guys!" 8) The look on Tajiri's face reminded Eddie of the same look that poor Mr. Bones' face had on the day he driven out to the woods and abandoned forever.
Originally posted by KawshenYou know the drill. Enjoy.
1)
"Don't hate the dinner...HATE THE FORK!!!" 2) "Kurt, could you pour me a glass of that Nathan Jones there?" 3) "Our Zen koan for today: Kane is afraid to go out into the ring because he thinks people will dislike his scars, yet he has no scars. Meditate on this, my students." 4) Neither Undertaker nor John Cena has any ideas on how he can get people to stop referring to him as "Orlando Jones". 5) Scott Steiner is reluctant, but he knows he lost that hair vs. teeth match fair and square. 6) A rare picture from Lance Storm's failed audition to be a WWE ring announcer. 7) Sour Starburst! Use responsibly! Wooo! 8)
Shuttle to Enterprise, request permission to enter docking bay one, esse.
All Thanks should be directed to Thunder Down Under for providing me with the show. WHAT WORKED: -Perfectly acceptable battle royale. Nothing actively good. But nothing that made you want to vomit on your shoes.