Ssssmackdown! It's my life, my time....and a Fashion Report, too!
Rey, in "Rey 619" wifebeater and leapard-print "619" trunks and mask, wearing the belt, vs. Mattutude, who punks-out the MF'ers in the back, in red pants with black pockets and gold print, for the Cruiserweiht Title. Lotsa two-count goodness. A good match.
Piper's Pit. piper, in black leather coat, white "Piper's Pit!" tshirt and kilt, with Sean, in black leather coat with silver flaming cuffs, welcome Eddie, in red "Latio" tights wearing the belt, and Tajiri, in black "Cheat 2 Win" tshirt and black pants with white dragons, belt on his shoulder, in a green car. A nice table spread of Japanese and Mexican food winds up getting wasted.
In Steph's Room of Fun, MatureLady uploads nude pictures of herself (so THAT'S what Lawler looks at). Oh, and Steph is bringing back the US title.
Torrieberg, in blue bodysuit with silver belt, is our special ring announcer, when she can bother to take that sucker out of her mouth. Albert, in black undies with matching crotch- and butt-crests (neatly trimmed body hair), vs. Billy Gunn (265 lbs?), in green fullcuts with yellow crotch lips and purple "Mr. Ass" butt lips. A poor match. Torrie makes a pass at the married Billy Gunn. Sable is jealous. So is Billy Kidman.
Taker, in black "Big Evil Pain Syndicate/Let the Beating Begin" diablo-skull tshirt, with black singlet thereunder and leather pants, vs. Johnny, in red "FBI" undies, with Chuck and Nunzio. Okay match. Then, as is customary, a beatdown.
Typo of the night "Taker Rulz". I mean, couldn't you even write "Rulez"?
Meanwhile, Mr. America trains Zack. Um, I don't think this last-minute workout will help.
Steph, in black sportcoat with white shirt and black leather miniskirt, introduces...Sable? Sable, in black lounge dress with pearl necklace, interrupts. Then Steph introduces Zack, in white "Mr. America" sleeveless tshirt and navy blue warmup pants, with Mr. America, in same as always, and Daddy, in black muscle shirt and black warmup pants. Vince's hubris makes him accept Hogan's challenge and wear himself out. A pretty boring segment. But Vince DOES bleed.
Benoit, in black "Toothless Aggression" tshirt and blue "Toothless Aggression" tights, and Rhyno, in black "Rhyno" singlet, vs. Basham Brothers, in black leather pants, with Shaniqua (sp?), in black leather bikini top and tiny shorts, with a riding crop (dang - she's RAIL THIN). But her abs are ripped. An okay match, and the Rhyno/Benoit misques continue. I don't see what she brings to the Bashams.
Cena, in a Cubs shirt, baseball cap, and black shorts, vs. Funaki, already in the ring. Cena raps then Funaki does a song and dance. Cena is very intense in this squash.
Angle, in red "Team Angle" warmup and gold medals, reveling in the "You Suck" chants, is out to talkl. He calls-out Team Angle, in blue "Team Angle" warmups and blue "Team Angle" singlets. What - HIS team turns on HIM? Well, they must be serious about a face run for Kurt.
Tazz, in tan sportscoat and blue shirt (top button undone) with orange hanky, and Cole, in black shirt, are our hosts.
BigShow, in one-stap singlet, vs. (my old arch-nemisis) AdBreak, vs. Brocky, in black undies with butt skull, wearing the WWE Championship belt. Midway, Show's strap rips in two. HOLY FUCK! Kids, do NOT superplex BigShow off the top rope or THAT could happen to you, too. I sure hope you all taped it (or do when the replays come on). No contest, but an okay match while it went on. Hell of an ending.
Overall: A good show. The Vince/Zack segment was pretty bad, but the rest was good. And the ending was just crazy-go-nuts. Holy Shit chant and all.
Edit: So, bringing back the US Title, are they seperating that from the IC title, seperating it from the Raw Heavyweight Title, or starting a new lineage? Or are they gonna say Test was the last holder (ignoring the unification match with the IC belt)?
(edited by ScreamingHeadGuy on 12.6.03 2134)
Fashion Reporter Extraordinare
Wisdom is learning from one's mistakes. Greater wisdom is learning from the mistakes of others.
It's kinda anticlimactic to have Matt and Rey battle each other in a war last week, and then this week they go 5 minutes. The match was fun, but it was pointless to do the rematch so quickly.
If the U.S. title goes on Cena or Matt, it's a great idea. If it goes on A-Train, Big Show, Benoit, or Billy Gunn it's pointless. I don't think Smackdown really needs a secondary title unless they're going to use it to build up younger guys, because unlike Raw, the main-event scene is more wide open.
Piper's Pit was fun, but who's O'Haire going to team with? Does this mean that he's out of the Mr. America angle?
Torrie and Billy together? Well at least they'll be sucking together in one segment instead of individually in two.
John Cena is starting to get a connection with the fans. He's definitely on his way to becoming huge. I wish that it looked like there was more of a plan for him in place than "guy who squashes cruiserweights".
I like that the Bashams bump big for everyone, but they need some offense. Right now they wrestle like a better bumping, but less manpretty La Resistance. It'd be a funny gimmick if Linda used the crop to motivate the Bashams before their matches.
Logic says that Benoit turns soon, but I wonder if they won't pull the SWERVE~ and have Rhyno turn. Either way, the match will be pretty good.
I liked that Angle was more intense and did less comedy this week. It's important that the fans take Angle seriously if he's ever going to be a viable main-event face. That doesn't mean he can't do comedy, but they have to keep him from doing it too much. How much heel heat would Haas and Benjamin get if next week, they gave Angle the Superkick/German combo? I have a feeling Heyman is probably coming back next week. What happens to the music? And the awesome tracksuits?
One of the reasons Brock is so special, and is so important to the WWE, is that he has the ability to get good matches out of bad wrestlers. The work of the match was pretty good, but the ending, while a great spot, was kinda dumb. If you're going to do the big "Brock kicks out of the chokeslam" spot, why would you hjave the match end in a no contest? You have pretty much offically proven that Big Show can't beat Brock in a singles match to the point where even the blindest mark can see it and you have the match end in a no contest. Big Show is dead in the water at this point, and there's no more mileage left in his main-event push.
Okay show, but yet again lacking something special in the ring.
I thought the ring collapse would have been much more effective if Cole and Tazz just went dead silent, much like Styles did when Bigelow and Tazz went through the ring in ECW. Still, it was an excellent visual.
I hope Team Angle keeps calling themselves Team Angle, just to annoy Kurt. Maybe they could have a handicap match for the rights to the name "Angle".
Ever notice that when Mr. America is down and pouty after Vince berates him that the mask makes his eyes look all Snuffleupagus-ish? Or maybe Eeyore...
I bet if somebody did a weekly Smackdown parody on this site, the name "Sable" would constantly be replaced with "Mae Young".
One of these days, Taker is going to be holding some wrestler in the air by their tights, and those tights are just gonna break away. And when you think about it, breakaway tights would be the perfect counter for that move.
I thought the ring collapse would have been much more effective if Cole and Tazz just went dead silent, much like Styles did when Bigelow and Tazz went through the ring in ECW. Still, it was an excellent visual.
Though Tazz saying "Holy Shit" and getting bleeped was pretty amusing.
Was that supposed to be a Cena face promo?
This week featured the return of my favorite wrestler (Mick) and my favorite entrance theme (Ass Man). Thanks Vince!
I'm generally of the opinion that Smackdown has the better announcing crew of the two shows, but man I would have loved to hear JR call the ring-break. I'm not exactly sure what he would have said, but I am confident he would have made it perfectly clear that God was his witness.
Originally posted by UnderwaterPiper's Pit was fun, but who's O'Haire going to team with? Does this mean that he's out of the Mr. America angle?
Whoa, he was *in* it?
Anyways, I have no problem at all with just about anything they did this week, on either show. The good outweighed any bad, and the ring collapsing was the best way to top it off.
I also realized tonight that sometime in the last 2 years I've gone from hating Stephanie to the point where I was convinced she was created as a Hellspawn just to destroy all that is good in wrestling (both things) and that she should just stay the hell off my tv with her screeching voice, to now being totally okay with her. The idea that a boss *doesn't* spend all day thinking of ways to ruin people's lives is a nice twist they've finally decided to do with the role.
Of course, now Vince is there to make sure that there's an evil boss over her. Damn, I'm getting sick of that never-ending gimmick.
Tribal Prophet
Wrestling exists in the eternal present. What is, has always been, and when it no longer is, it never was. It has no past and no future, and sometimes even today is in question. - Madame Manga
Click Here (welovetheiraqiinformationminister.com)
Originally posted by ScreamingHeadGuyEdit: So, bringing back the US Title, are they seperating that from the IC title, seperating it from the Raw Heavyweight Title, or starting a new lineage? Or are they gonna say Test was the last holder (ignoring the unification match with the IC belt)?
(edited by ScreamingHeadGuy on 12.6.03 2134)
You're kidding, right? I mean, you don't really expect them to address that issue at any time, do you?
Heck, I could be wrong, but I was picturing longtime WWF (as opposed to WCW) fans going "bring back the US title? What the heck is the US title?"
Obviously the ring collapsing was terrific--I swear, when they started to set up the superplex I thought, "man, that could collapse the whole ring" but I didn't think they'd actually do it! However, anal as I am, after it happened all I could think of was, "Show's head is on top of Lesnar's arm! That's a pin! Why isn't Chioda counting?" Not that I want Show to win the title, mind you, but when it's right there, it bothers me. If nothing else, it needed a line.
Since Angle was supposed to get a shot at the winner of the match, I'm guessing this means we'll get a three-way at Vengeance.
I read somewhere that they're thinking of not turning Benoit. Guess that means that Rhyno will be the heel.
Angle was his usual awesome self. Benjamin and Haas were pretty good on the mic as well. Another strong segment.
Of course, the end of the Lesnar-Show match was AWESOME. The actual match was actually pretty decent.
Overall, Smackdown was pretty good.
(edited by tomvejada on 13.6.03 0515) "Oh my God, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits! It says, 'Oooooo!'" Peter Griffin "Peter, those are Cheerios." Brian
Originally posted by UnderwaterPiper's Pit was fun, but who's O'Haire going to team with? Does this mean that he's out of the Mr. America angle?
Whoa, he was *in* it?
Anyways, I have no problem at all with just about anything they did this week, on either show. I also realized tonight that sometime in the last 2 years I've gone from hating Stephanie to the point where I was convinced she was created as a Hellspawn just to destroy all that is good in wrestling (both things) and that she should just stay the hell off my tv with her screeching voice, to now being totally okay with her. The idea that a boss *doesn't* spend all day thinking of ways to ruin people's lives is a nice twist they've finally decided to do with the role.
Of course, now Vince is there to make sure that there's an evil boss over her. Damn, I'm getting sick of that never-ending gimmick.
Tribal Prophet
I agree with Tribal Phophet on this one, it's amazing to see Steph change like that. When she first became GM, I was sure that it wouldn't be long until she would screech again. Now though, I'm impressed with her restraint, and the fact that for the most part she's the opposite of Bichoff (ruining people's lives and being in tons of segments EVERY week). Good job, Steph, and keep it up. Now I'm waiting for the day she sends Daddy to the looney bin.
Originally posted by Mr Heel III hope Team Angle keeps calling themselves Team Angle, just to annoy Kurt. Maybe they could have a handicap match for the rights to the name "Angle
If they book it anything like Booker losing the T in his name than I'm THERE!
T-minus 2 days till Lou Pinella throws another tantrum.
Originally posted by Peter The HegemonObviously the ring collapsing was terrific--I swear, when they started to set up the superplex I thought, "man, that could collapse the whole ring" but I didn't think they'd actually do it! However, anal as I am, after it happened all I could think of was, "Show's head is on top of Lesnar's arm! That's a pin! Why isn't Chioda counting?" Not that I want Show to win the title, mind you, but when it's right there, it bothers me. If nothing else, it needed a line.
Both of their shoulders were one the mat, so neither could claim a pin. When they do a "passed out wrestler gets a pin" spot, the winner is always on his stomach with his arm drapped over the loser. This was just a double count-out (I would like to have seen it actually counted, though).
One thing that got me a little chuckle was Eddy talking about the fine Mexican cuisine and if you look close enough, you can see the Taco Bell wrapper underneath the taco...
I'm curious to how they had the ropes tight enough to support Brock doing the superplex but the ring posts unsecured from the floor. The last reply was such that you could see the ringposts push out a second before the ring collapsed, so there was secondary supports just under the apron that were taking the weight of the ring, but what was supporting the ropes?
I was really impressed with how well that collapse came off. That's a good sort of blow-off to the feud. Brock has dominated Big Show to the point where he's not a viable contender, so this was to me more of the exclamation point.
Now the question is does Show go off and get a makeover of some sort? Hey, if Rico's doing Adrian Street, maybe Show can try Adrian Adonis!
-I think its revealing of the WWE talent and creative team that the biggest "holy shit" pop WWE has gotten in the past year was due to a ring collapse.
-The biggest positive that comes out of this is if they will reprise the Playboy Buddy Rose Blow-away diet with Big Show.
-Hey if VKM can kick Gowan in his prosthetic leg, Zach should be able to hit him in his prosthetic hair.
The above post has been verified as 100% accurate.
-Mysterio vs. Hardy- Kind of surprised they are doing this match the very next week, but still cool. Matt Fact: "He's too handsome to wear a mask". Good fast paced match, love the reverse of the twist of faith but sloppy west coast pop finish by Mysterio.
-Pipers Pit- It was decent enough. Dare I say it was actually a little fun. Just a little mind you LoL.
-Gunn vs. Albert- Torrie comes out to special ring announce. She Sucks! Figuratively and literally on the lollipop. Announcers want her to do it all the time and the SD divas breath a sigh of relief. Hey Raw has a sexy ring announcer, and she DOESN'T need to ice cube her nipples everytime she comes to the ring either. I've actually found myself cheering for Albert for the first time so of course he loses in a minute... Billy Gunn does equal Torrie. They are perfect for each other. They are one in the same! Think about it, for the last 5 years their character consist of "Hey I'm hot", both done homosexual characters, both can't wrestle worth a damn but "Hey look at my look". Could you imagine the intergender tag team of these two, and who would be the work horse of the team? LoL. Billy Gunn, Torrie Wilson and cherry red lollipop. I vote for the lollipop as the captain.
-Undertaker vs. Stamboli- Personally I think they need to end this feud. I think both parties can be used more effectively in other feuds. Good Gawd did Stamboli almost slipped and dropped Taker on his head during the delayed suplex. Pulumbo got a wicket superkick.
-Arm Wrestling- Got to give Steph some props, I loved how she cut Sable off mid-sentence at the beginning of the segment (ha). Ahh top of the hour segment = Long segment. We get 2 arm wrestling matches, the joy. I was into this feud a month ago, but it lost me. I guess this got the top of the hour focus time spot because of the bad rating last week with it wasn't focused too much. So of course they go back to this as a major focus.
-Basham Brothers vs. Benoit/Rhyno- Linda Miles is jacked! No soft luv there. Don't really get that leather appeal, but that's just me. Basham Bros. came in and seem pretty generic, actually Benoit/Rhyno characters aren't much better. I can't remember much of this 3 minute match except Benoit almost kicked Miles in the face and a pretty cool body scissors takedown by one of the Basham... Well copy/paste what I wrote for RVD/Kane this time for Beniot/Rhyno "Dissension buh gawd Dissension!"
-Cena vs, Funaki- That sure sounded like a babyface promo by Cena. Squash!
-Angle's interview- I was impressed with Haas & Benjamin mic work here.
-Lesner vs. BigShow- Amazing German suplex by Lesner on Show. Okay I've haven't seen a WWE crowd do that huge of a "Holy sh*t" chant in a long time. It was an amazing visual I must say. But I would have liked Lesner to roll over and pin Big Show, I really want to move on from this feud. Oh well the fans didn't seen to care there was no finish. They were marking out pretty strong.
-other stuff- There was very little backstage stuff this week. The U.S title is being returned for nor apparent reason. Don't think SD needed another title, but whatever... Surprised their wasn't any rundown for the Bad Blood PPV on the show
I found the bookends to the show pretty entertaining. But the rest of the show never really got off the ground for me... I found Raw to be a better overall show this week.
cause there's limits to our liberties. 'Least I hope and pray that there are, cause those liberal freaks go too far.
I'll crush all opposition to me And I'll make Ted Kennedy pay If he fights back, I'll say that he's gay
Quick question, cause I missed the show. Did the announcers actually acknowledge that it was Linda Miles, TE II winner? Or did they do the whole "She's Shaniqua now and Linda Miles or Tough Enough never existed" routine? Seeing as it is Michael Cole, I'm guessing the latter.
By the way, Storm's gimmick includes 1.) telling the audience to shut up, and 2.) occasionally making everyone stand for the Canadian national anthem. You know they don't know what to do with a wrestler when he's making fans stand for a national anthem. It's like waving a white flag and saying, "This guy has no personality -- we give up."