1. While Kurt and the sewing lady are mesmerized by the WWE logo on the table, the UPN logo sneaks by undetected.
2.Rock: Hey, I heard you got fired. Don't worry, I got you a great opening as an extra for "Helldorado"! Austin: What?
3.Booker T: Damn! I wonder if I can stick all five of my fingers up dat huge nostril o' his!
4. DUHHHHH... BRAIN GO IN HERE!
5.Flair: Don't feel so bad about not being a six-time champion, Book. You'd probably have to surgically attach an extra finger to your right hand to do a Spinarooni. I'm a 16-time World Champion. This is why I don't do Spinaroonies...
6. Thus, Austin and Hunter began a tug of war to see who would be the first to hold down the new talent...
7. Behold! Undertaker prepares to chokeslam Fred Durst for butchering his entrance theme...
(edited by The Great Thomas on 3.4.03 2108) Now Playing: Megaman Battle Network
Seriously, six weeks? Are you sure you're a doctor?
2) So here's my agent's card, man...I think we can squeeze you in as an extra on that new Seagall movie. 3) So you'll buy some shit from my store once they release me, right? 4) With Edge out a year and woozie from painkillers, he foolishly agrees to Vince's suggestion that the following year's downside guarantee be paid entirely in hats. 5) So I pass the pilot the doobie, and the next thing I know the plane's going down...David Crockett starts pissing himself... 6) The young rookie's abmition to choke out everyone who ever refused to job to him is halted when he realizes he only has two hands. 7)
Sure you did, Fred. And I banged Miss Elizabeth.
"Whatever I just posted above is what your mother said in bed last night."
Clearly the main cause of Angle's neck injury is those darn Olympic medals he wears all the time! 2)
Austin looks up in surprise to see Bizarro Austin staring right back down at him. 3)
Booker: Look, Hunter, you KNOW I beat you at mini-golf, so you gotta do your part of the bet and grow your goatee back. Hunter: Never. 4)
Edge: My teeth are brighter than DDP's! 5)
Naitch: Hey, Booker, pal, please beat me up right now. ANYTHING so that I don't have to hang out with HHH tonight! 6)
Sugar Shane: Finally, it's Hurricane Appreciation Night! Hey, when you guys hoist me up on your shoulders, try lifting me by my legs.. not my arms, okay? 7)
Little Boy: Hey, lemme go! Get your claws outta my back! UT: I vant to zink my teeth eento your neck. Eet lookz zo tezty, and I am zo thirzty.
Kurt makes sure to greet Earnest Miller's momma on the way to the ring.
This spring, Steve Austin will be handing out diplomas to SCU's 2003 graduating class.
BOOKER T: "Hunter, I just noticed something. You've got one big ass nose!"
EDGE: "I stole this hat from that guy from U2."
RIC FLAIR: "Heres the deal. You pinned Triple H in a tag match so he gets to pin you for the next 3 consecutive singles matches. It is the law of 3, consistant as gravity."
Right as Hurricane is about to perform the double chokeslam, he suddenly starts to regret eating all of those bran muffins this morning.
UNDERTAKER: "Tell me the truth. I've got to know. What exactly happened between Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake?
YOU'RE my new doctor? Any way you can shorten my time off to a month? It's almost sweeps, you know.
ROCK: You know, if you get yourself a tan, you can be the Rock's new stunt double. AUSTIN: What?
BOOKER T: You keep asking for Taker-roonies, but JUST ONCE, I'd like to see you do an H-aroonie! HHH: Ha! Not on THESE quads!
EDGE: I should be doing toothpaste commercials, not HAT ADS!
RIC FLAIR: I'm sorry to tell you this, Book, but you'll probably be the next one released. But look at it this way. At least this isn't 8 years ago, or you'd be getting a Fed Ex.
HURRICANE: Come on, you guys! Rock put me over! WHY CAN'T YOU???
UNDERTAKER: How about you be my new partner? You can't be any worse than the one I have now. Uh...you don't lactate, do you? It was funny the first time I saw it, but now it's just gross.
(edited by It's False on 4.4.03 0049)
You know it won't be long now. May God help us all!
I only have one caption and its for the Ric Flair 3 fingers pic.
Record Exec. "So Busta, we make Pass the Couvasier part 3!!!" Booker T "If you call me Busta again I'm gonna break your neck Sucka!"
RIP Curt Hennig: Yeah, they call me a redneck, but you know---that's a beautiful thing!
You don't get it boy, this isn't a mudhole... it's an operating table. And I'm the surgeon. Something tells me to stop with the leg. I don't listen to it. But where in the world is there in the world A man so extroardinaire?
Kurt: So you couldn't just try doing the sewing before the show? 2)
Austin: I'm telling ya Rock, that Cornhusker's Lotion does wonders. Rock: You know, my hands do look and feel silky smooth, now. 3)
As Booker taunts HHH, the ref nonchalantly burshes the WWE logo off of Book's shoulder. 4)
Distraught over missing a year of action, Edge threatens to take his own life. No one has the heart to tell him that they all no he doesn't have a real gun. 5)
A confused flair gets ready to thump a pineapple to see if it's ripe. 6)
HHH: Dammit Steve, you just had to tell him you thought Superman would've kicked the Green Lantern's ass. 7)
Luckily for everyone there, Fred Durst knew the Heimlich Manuever. Now maybe Taker will learn that even Big Evil has to chew his food.
"You're watching FOX. Shame on you!" --Jay Sherman, The Critic
Ummm... miss? Sorry about the mix up earlier. I'm really not Stone Cold Steve Austin. 2)
Rock - Look man, you gotta be picky when you're looking for a wife. Check mine out, she's a vice president of Merrill Lynch. Austin - What? 3)
Look man, I know I'm not going over at Mania. Must you keep whispering that under your breath during my promo? 4)
Ummm.. HHH has me at finger-point and he wants me to read this: "You stupid Internet marks are ruining the business. You motherfuckers know about everything ahead of time now! We here at the WWE don't know how to deal with you, so we're gonna villify you and treat you like a radical marginal fringe! Even though you're our fanbase, you're not our LOYAL fans, the fans who buy t-shirts and shut the fuck up and don't ask questions. What, most of our fanbase is online? No, that can't be right, it's COMPUTERS, only fat, socially awkward people use those! Right? Like in the 70s? Fat nerds, right? No girlfriends! No? The average person uses a computer? Bah!! You're fucking things up! We don't know how to deal with you! We knew how to deal with you as a collective, unwashed mass, dumb marks that would pay good money to watch squash matches! Don't read the sheets, they know nothing! None of our disenfranchised midcarders call them and dish dirt about what's going on, they're MAKING SHIT UP! JR doesn't get to write a column any more because he was giving away too much. Too many people were learning about the inner workings of Oklahoma football and barbecue sauce. But the rest of that stuff is bullshit! Look, just trust us." 5)
I'm old and frightened. 6)
Yeah, this is probably gonna happen 7)
Don't go anywhere, Fred. This shouldn't take too long.
-- Asteroid Boy
Wiener of the day: 23.7.02
"My brother saw the Undertaker walking through an airport." "Was he no-selling?"
1: Kurt to woman: "You dad drinks, because you cry". 2: "Steve, it hurts. HURTS!" 3: Book to HHH: "I better be getting a rematch after Wrestlemania" 4: "And I got THIS scar from..... 5: "Sixteen time sixteen time sixteen time sixteen time sixte...."
6: Hurricane slowly realizes that no, he can not in fact chokeslam Austin and HHH at the same time
7: Taker: "I LOVE YOU MAN!". Durst: "Let go of me!"
(edited by El Nastio on 4.4.03 1124)
(edited by El Nastio on 4.4.03 1126) Reviewer of games, token redneck, and one of the few remaining Expos fans.
Angle: So, who has to wear that outift you're working on? Wardrobe Lady: Haas and Benjamin. When you leave, they're becoming TEAM SPANGLE!! 2)
The Rock IS Ryan Seacrest! Steve Austin IS Simon Cowell! American Idol: The Movie! 3)
Booker: C'mon! Nash went down to Hogan's finger! 4)
::Realizes he can't top Asteroidboy's caption:: 5)
Flair:Listen, Book, we all have to job sometimes. I mean, I was the 3-time, 3-time, 3-time Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Champion! Then I had to put that Japanese punk over! 6)
The cover of "What If?" #65. 7)
Taker: Did you just call me Britney? Let it go already!
Originally posted by Hogan's My Dad So I pass the pilot the doobie, and the next thing I know the plane's going down...David Crockett starts pissing himself....
Kurt: Jeez Booker, I told you those roids wouldn't be good for your health.... 2)
Rock: Look I know you're important to the business and all Steve, but everyone left the autograph session six hours ago Austin: What? 3)
Booker: Look down there *flicks Hunter's nose* gotcha! 4)
Edge: I'm just going to keep poking myself in the temple until I forget the fact I'll be in midcard hell for the rest of my life 5)
Flair: Let this be a lesson to ya Book, never try to push the limits on how far you can get a finger up your nose. The consequences are deadly, man. Book: Dude, who the hell let Leslie Nielson in here? 6)
Hurricane: Now let's see who they REALLY are! ......ah crap, no masks. Okay, you can both kill me now 7)
Taker: *pat pat* Okay you're clean, go 'head, go 'head
(edited by Evil Antler God on 4.4.03 0945) Anybody can kick people's asses. But it takes a true monster to kick people's asses AND breastfeed at the same time - Excalibur05
1. As much as Kurt sympathizes with Booker T's mom, he realized that her sewing all the wrestlers trunks was the only way that Booker got ANY pinfall victory over HHH.
2. Rock: "Steve, I'm going over at Wrestlemania." Austin: "What?" Rock: "It says so here on the sheet I'm holding." Austin: "What?" Rock: "Steve, please stop that." Austin: "What?" Rock: "It's not going to work..." Austin: "What?" Rock: "I'm still pinning you." (Long pause) Austin: "What the hell happened to your hair?" Rock: (After longer pause) "I'm leaving now."
3. You know, I wonder what might be the only scenario that the writers would have let Booker get the title (rubs chins, fades into dream sequence)
Booker: Trips! Over there Chyna and Steph getting it on lesbo style! HHH: Huh? (Looks over to where Booker's pointing) Booker grabs belt from Patrick and runs out of ring, laughing all the way.
4. Christian attepmted a Wet Willie, but unfortunately missed.
5. Flair: Busta Rhymes! Huge fan, my man! Booker: .... Ric, it's me, Booker. Flair: Pass the Couvarcier! Love that song! "Don't this shit make a nigga wanna jump, jump!! Booker: .... You've been hanging around RVD again, right? Flair: Hey, you were the bomb in Haloween: Resurection! Booker: .... Flair, please go bug HHH.
6. And then, Shane Helms woke up.
7. Undertaker: "Dude, fly's open."
By the way, Storm's gimmick includes 1.) telling the audience to shut up, and 2.) occasionally making everyone stand for the Canadian national anthem. You know they don't know what to do with a wrestler when he's making fans stand for a national anthem. It's like waving a white flag and saying, "This guy has no personality -- we give up."
1. Whoa, whoa, whoa! You're using THAT to repair my freaking neck?!? 2. Rock: A ROCK concert - get it? Because my name is The Rock, and.... Austin: I left staying at home for THIS? 3. Hold it, dawg! HE'S the only one allowed to hold me back! 4. I'M dumb? Which one of us gets to take a paid year's vacation? 5. Flair: That looks pretty serious, Book. You better have a *real* doctor look at that. Booker: You mean the woman outside working on Kurt's neck isn't a real doctor? 6. .... Able to leap glass ceilings in a single bound.... 7. You had me at hello.
"Triple H, The Rock says they didn't keep you at the bottom of the barrel just because you wanted to say goodbye to your roody poo friends in Madison Square Garden. No! The Rock says, they kept you at the bottom of the barrel because you absolutely suck."
I think Hogan's My Dad clearly wins this round...the Hurricane and Limp Bizkit ones would normally put him over the top, but the Flair plane crash sealed the deal...
Hah...hah...hah...hah! YA SCUM!!! Krankor: The Man, The Myth, The Legend
1. I want something that says "flamboyant" while not coming across as gay. Afterall, the Fashion Report would have me for breakfast were THAT kind of snafu to happen.
2. Rock: Sorry, Steve, but it looks like I sat on your sandwhich. Austin: That's okay; it's better than Debra's cookies.
3. Oh my God, Hunter, I think you should get this looked at.
4. Lookit - my DAMN STOCKINGCAP!
5. Flair: Let me demonstrate, Booker. See, your topknot is obviously too big. It can't even fit through this ring I make with my fingers. Booker: Tell me you didn't just say that.
6. The Hurricane knows he has to let one go, but he can't for the life of him choose which one.
7. The Undertaker shows his sensitive side by whispering sweet nothings into Fred's ear. Fred just likes to be touched.
Fashion Reporter Extraordinare
Do you know where your Chainmail, +1 vs. Cruiserweights is?
Thread ahead: The Newest Heel Gimmick (Raw minor spoiler) Next thread: Moving/Indy Wrestling (indy feds in/around these areas?) Previous thread: Edge on Kurt's Neck surgery
I'm not sure if I've seen the date, but I know it's soon. Melzter noted Team 3D has to win the tag team titles on this PPV, or they'll miss their chance to have been WWE, WCW, ECW and NWA champs (for whatever that's worth.)