(SPOILERS) WWE Smackdown Taping Results from Bakersfield, California
I missed all the dark matches and Velocity, but I did manage to catch the very end of Velocity and here is what I saw.
***VELOCITY***
Josh Mathews and Ernest Miller at the announce table.
Cruiserweight Championship - Billy Kidman beat Jamie Noble w/ Nidia via shooting star press.
***SMACKDOWN***
Michael Cole and Tazz at the announce table.
Smackdown starts immediately with the first match.
Charlie Haas w/ Paul Heyman beat Edge with a rollup and Heyman's interference. Heyman jumped on the ring apron. Edge speared him off. Haas took the easy rollup from behind. Before the match a large wooden crate was shown at the top of the entrance stage from Big Show to Undertaker.
-commercial-
Backstage, Stephanie enters her office to find Kurt Angle. Angle gives her a rose. Stephanie wants to talk to Angle about a match. Angle says they are the perfect match. Angle goes to kiss her but Brock Lesnar walks in. Steph tells Angle that isn't the match she was talking about. She was talking about a 6 man match at No Way Out consisting of Team Angle vs Lesnar, Chris Benoit, and Edge that will take place.
Rikishi vs Nunzio was a no contest. Chuck Palumbo (italian) and Johnny The Bull came down to ringside to help Nunzio triple team Rikishi. I guess we now have our WWE version of the FBI. Where's Big Sal when you need him?
-commercial-
Rey Mysterio beat Matt Hardy w/ Shannon Moore with a springboard huricanrana. After the match Matt talked with the announcers about needing to lose some more weight and being dehydrated. Matt goes on to say he will beat Billy Kidman at No Way Out for the Cruiserweight Title.
Backstage, Benoit is shown doing pushups.
A-Train is shown walking to the ring.
-commercial-
Backstage, Sean O'Haire tells Brian Kendrick that he was impressed with what he did last week. Hugh Morrus walks up and slams Kendrick into some lockers. O'Haire gets in Morrus' face and tells him the boy has had enough. But you know what, I'm not telling you anything that you don't already know.
Chris Benoit beat A-Train with the crippler crossface.
Backstage, Joe Francis from Girls Gone Wild knocks on Torrie Wilson's locker room door. He wants Torrie to be the special guest on their upcoming spring break uncensored PPV. Torrie accepts and Francis leaves.
-commercial- During the commercial break a crane lifted the large wooden crate into the ring.
Back from commercial, Paul Heyman is shown in the ring with the crate and a mic in hand. Undertaker rides to the ring on his motorcycle. Heyman leaves the ring and walks up the ramp. Undertaker opens the door of the crate and it's Chris Kanyon signing "Do you really wanna hurt me". Kanyon attacks Undertaker and gets the better hand but that does not last long. Undertaker sends Kanyon out of the ring and continues his attack. Undertaker hits Kanyon with a chair. Undertaker throws his Big Evil shirt on Kanyon and leaves.
-commercial-
Shelton Benjamin w/ Charlie Haas beat Eddie Guerrero. I missed the finish.
-commercial-
A video montage titled "An In-depth look at Hogan/Rock" is shown.
-commercial-
Hugh Heffner is shown on the oval tron saying a WWE Diva will soon be appearing in an upcoming issue of Playboy.
Special Valentine's Day Bra & Panties Match - Torrie Wilson beat Dawn Marie Wilson. After the match Nidia hit the ring and attacked Torrie. Torrie ended up double clotheslining Dawn and Nidia, and pulled Nidia's pants off. Torrie gave a sneak peak of her ass and left.
Backstage, Shannon Moore is encouraging Matt Hardy, who is on an excercise bike, to lose two more pounds.
Backstage, a hip Funaki interviews John Cena.
Brock Lesnar beat John Cena via F5. After the match Lesnar gets on the mic and calls Angle out.
Backstage, Angle is with Heyman and says they are not coming.
Lesnar says maybe this will change his mind - Lesnar picks Cena up on the outside of the ring and F5's him into the ring post.
Angle tells Heyman that Lesnar is trying to punk him out so he has to go out there.
Angle walks out to the top of the stage. Lesnar calls for an impromptu match. Angle accepts and enters the ring. Angle gets in Lesnar's face and says not tonight. He has a sinus infection. Lesnar calls Angle a chicken shit. Angle says he really does have a sinus infection but they should have a match next week.
Lesnar accepts and kicks Angle out of the ring. Lesnar follows out and sends Angle into the ring steps. Lesnar suplexes Angle on the floor. Lesnar picks Angle up for an F5 against the ring post but Haas and Benjamin come down to stop it. Lesnar F5's Benjamin on the floor. Lesnar walks up the ramp and leaves.
That sounds like a show that focused more on angle advancement than the actual matches (besides the usual suspects).
Palumbo and Johnny the Bull as Nunzio's backup is hellalame. But pantsless Nidia, the return of KANYON baby (Will they mention him backing up DDP when he was stalking/getting his arse kicked by Sara? Probably not), Hugh Motherf'n Hefner (no seriously, he's likely f'd your mother), and the possible return of the Steph/Kurt entanglement should make this worth watching.
Most people are like Slinkys; they're utterly worthless except for the giddy joy they give you when you see one tumble down a flight of stairs
Dawn Marie jobs to Torrie Wilson? Wow, that has never happened before. Hopefully, they aren't beginning an angle that places Stephanie McMahon in some capacity of the Angle/Lesnar match. Then again, it wouldn't be Mania without a McMahon involved in the main event. If Kanyon got any offense in, that is more than either he or Page had in the entire feud with Taker in '01. Always a letdown when Angle does not wrestle.
Breaking News: In a preemptive military strike, the French Government has announced it has surrendered the 2/3 of France, and will move back to Vichy.
Well, okay, but I'm only watching for Team Angle...and Guererro...and Mattitude. Sounds to me like it's not going to be as tight from top to bottom like the last few episodes.
Ringmistress
Proper planning prevents piss poor performance" William Regal
Team Angle: Kurt Angle, Shelton Benjamin, Chris Kanyon, the Big Show and Charlie Haas.
Evilution: Triple H, Ric Flair, Batista & Randy Orton
Team Angle has the best pure non-Benoit wrestler, plus two really good young guys, a helluva technical guy in Kanyon AND the gimmicky big guy in Big Show. All this plus one HELLUVA mouthpiece for the Show and the youngsters in Paul Heyman.
Whereas, Evilution has oft-injured Trips, an over-the-hill semi-retired Flair, plus a HOSS BY GAWD in Batista and a good wrestler in Randy Orton. If I were the WWF, I'd ship Orton to SmackDown again and stick him in Team Angle. Then again, I'm not the WWF.
"I know something that will cheer you up, Wesley" "Are you programmed to be thinking what I'm thinking?" "MAKEOVER!!" Princical Scudworth & Mr. Butlertron; Clone High
As I understand it, just because The Big Show and Kanyon are apparently aligned with Heyman doesn't mean they are in Team Angle. Then again, wasn't Span-- er, Brian Kendrick aligned with Heyman two weeks ago for his non-Diamondback/Jet/River Rat debut, and now he seems to be the butt of Sean O' Haire's jokes? I can see them putting Kanyon as Big Show's back up, and I can see them using Kendrick and Kanyon as Team Show, and I can also see them dumping Kanyon back into the roster and leaving Big Show and Undertaker to feud themselves. Basically, I don't know what they are going to do, but I'm pretty sure that Show and Kanyon are separate from Team Angle.
And the last time I recall Johnny the Bull on Raw was right around Bischoff's debut, when he won the Hardcore title from Bradshaw (and Bradshaw won it right back, I think). Has he even been on Heat lately?
I also wouldn't put Show in Team Angle. It seems like Heyman has 3 different groups, Team Angle, Show + A-Train, and occasionally Matt and Shannon.
You don't get it boy, this isn't a mudhole... it's an operating table. And I'm the surgeon. Something tells me to stop with the leg. I don't listen to it. But where in the world is there in the world A man so extroardinaire?
I like where this whole thing with Mattitude is going. One of my guiltiest pleasures back in late 1998 was watching Disco Inferno try and pass himself off as a cruiserweight so he could take on Kidman for the title. Sometimes, the simplest angles are the best ones to recycle. Mattitude's match with Rey Rey also sounds like must-see TV.
Back to the midcard for John Cena...for now. Remember that this ain't Raw, so he'll be back to fight another day.
Welcome back, Kanyon! We'll get to see Undertaker squash...er...I mean..."give him the rub". In all seriousness, the fans haven't heard anything about Kanyon, probably didn't recognize him when he returned, and watched Undertaker completely beat him like a bitch. How the hell is this supposed to get him over at all? I'm not asking for Kanyon to beat him down. But would it hurt to let him have any kind of offense at all? Or better yet, just keep him the hell away from Underseller, period?
As for the proposed match between Angle and Brock next week? That can only end in a bait and switch. And when you can see a bait and switch coming a mile (and more than a week) away, that's not a good thing. They'd better have something GOOD to make up for that.
Originally posted by EddieBurkettHas he even been on Heat lately?
Oh yeah. His gimmick has been that he switches from face to heel depending on how he feels about Coach and Lita talking about him and his sucess with the ladies. Yeah...It wasn't exactly "Gimmick of the Year".
EDIT: Thanks Tom.
(edited by Excalibur05 on 14.2.03 1635) RAW Satire 2/10 Buffy 7.14 gets a 7.10 WAY better than last week, and I like the Principal Wood character alot.
Originally posted by EddieBurkettHas he even been on Heat lately?
Oh yeah. His gimmick has been that he switches from face to heel depending on how he feels about Michael Cole and Lita talking about him and his sucess with the ladies. Yeah...It wasn't exactly "Gimmick of the Year".
I don't recall Stamboli being on Heat in at least a month, though, and probably closer to 2 months.
I like both Palumbo & Stamboli, so I'm interested to see where this goes. Triple-Stinkface from Rikishi isn't the correct destination, though.
Matthew: You would've loved it, David. A week in a foreign country, strange people, strange customs... Dave: Oh, I know what you mean. I've been to Canada.
Team Angle: Kurt Angle, Shelton Benjamin, Chris Kanyon, the Big Show and Charlie Haas.
Evilution: Triple H, Ric Flair, Batista & Randy Orton
Team Angle has the best pure non-Benoit wrestler, plus two really good young guys, a helluva technical guy in Kanyon AND the gimmicky big guy in Big Show. All this plus one HELLUVA mouthpiece for the Show and the youngsters in Paul Heyman.
Whereas, Evilution has oft-injured Trips, an over-the-hill semi-retired Flair, plus a HOSS BY GAWD in Batista and a good wrestler in Randy Orton. If I were the WWF, I'd ship Orton to SmackDown again and stick him in Team Angle. Then again, I'm not the WWF.
i'm not sure i would agree with you on "a good wrestler in randy orton." the last time i remember seeing him, BEFORE his injury, he was pretty dismal.. ridiculously telegraphed dropkicks and top-rope cross body blocks, fake looking mat wrestling. he was always that guy that JR had to push the validity of because he wasn't doing it himself in the ring.
Originally posted by tomvejadaYou mean Coach and Lita, not Cole and Lita.
Err...uh...
Yeah.
Howler Monkey and Coach. Right on.
(edited by Excalibur05 on 14.2.03 1634) RAW Satire 2/10 Buffy 7.14 gets a 7.10 WAY better than last week, and I like the Principal Wood character alot.
i'm not sure i would agree with you on "a good wrestler in randy orton." the last time i remember seeing him, BEFORE his injury, he was pretty dismal.. ridiculously telegraphed dropkicks and top-rope cross body blocks, fake looking mat wrestling. he was always that guy that JR had to push the validity of because he wasn't doing it himself in the ring.
I thought that Randy Orton's match against the Undertaker many months ago was one of the better matches that I had seen. His more recent match against Christian and Lance Storm where he injured himself was not as good.. but I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt, since he was, well, injured.
I agree with your main point. The 2 workers don't have to be great to make for an entertaining match or program. However, I STRONGLY disagree with your claim that Brock Lesnar is 10 times the wrestler that Austin was.