OVW TV Report for 6/25/05... Taped, as always, from the Davis Arena in Louisville, KY on the Wednesday before this aired. You go looked up the date if you're a completist archiving wrestling history, I'm too lazy this week.
- We start with a clip of Synn "returning" and attacking Beth Phoenix from last week, which is apparently supposed to be a big deal. Synn is Cornette's girlfriend and is really gross.
- LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR! LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOOOOAHAR!
- Our Hosts are Jim Cornette and Dean "The Duke of Louisville" Hill. Tonight Bolin and Cornette reveal their Six Flags teams, a "Beat the Champ TV Title" rematch, the Blonde Bombers and Ken Anderson get ready for Chris Cage and the Dudleys at Six Flags.
Danny Inferno (w/ Synn) v.s. "The" Paul Burchill. Synn is rocking about 4 double chins and is grosser than ever. Burchill is well on his way to getting in WWE shape. This Friday, Danny Inferno and Aaron "The Idol" Stevens blow off their six month long running feud. Solid match here but nothing special. I'm high on Paul Burchill, especially knowing the crazy spots he used to do in England. The only trace of that here was a standing moonsault attempt. Inferno hits a Michinoku Driver #2 for a 2-count. Burchill reaches in his tights to either pull out a chain or whack off. Synn sprays him with mace and Inferno hits a flatliner for the three count.
Next Team Bolin Services and Team OVW will be announced!
- OVW in Derby Park Expo 5 and the WWE PPV. Five big matches! One low price!
- OVW Fundraiser. Receive a portion of the money OVW doesn't make on shows!
- Ad for "Raw Live". See all the Raw superstars... Batista, HHH, Shelton Benjamin, Ric Flair, and... CHRIS BENOIT. Plus Chris Jericho, Trish Stratus, Edge, and more! Saturday July 16th!
- Tonight we reveal the teams for the Elimination Match at Kentucky Kingdom. It's Kenny "Starmaker" Bolin with "The Giant Killer" Mike Mondo, and Blaster Lasheley. The losing manager will kiss the feet of the winning manager. Mike Mondo is the first member the team, big surprise. The second member of "Team BS" is Blaster Lasheley. God, he sounds like Michael Jackson, this is not good for a monster heel. Cornette says Bolin is a "Big Man in Any Town". Cornette announces Elijah Burke as the first member of his team, and the second member is the OVW Heavyweight Champion, "The Shooter" Brent Albright. Bolin says you rushed him. His third member of his team is Ken Donne. Donne says he was held back so he's going to embarass Jim Cornette. An update when we come back.
- OVW at Six Flags Friday July 6. Dudleys/Cage v.s. Blonde Bombers/Ken Anderson. Team BS v.s. Team Cornette. Apparently Cornette has a "mystery partner" to round out his team. Aaron Stevens v.s. Danny Inferno. The Thrillseekers v.s. Da Beast and Osama (w/ Mo Greene.
- Let us take you back to last week when Chris Cage fought both Blond Bombers and lost, setting up the match at Six Flags.
Here comes Tank Toland, Chad Toland, Ken Anderson, Jillian Hall, and Melissa Coates for an interview. Ken Anderson is now "Mr. Anderson" or something. He claims everyone is a "natural blonde" and is "over six foot two". Tank Toland says they are the "alpha males" and are the "top of the food chain". Tank says he beat Chris Cage all by himself last week and Chad would have beaten Cage if Cage wasn't a cheater.
- OVW Live in Vernon. 6 big matches July 8.
- Let us take you back to last week with The Thrillseekers v.s. Osama and Da Beast. Mo Greene interfered to help the heels win.
- Osama and Da Beast v.s. Chet the Jet and Nick Nemuth. Pretty dull match. Mo Green sits in on commentary and explains after the Heartbreakers "stabbed him in the back" and left him behind in OVW, he looked for a new team. He asked the Thrillseekers if he could manage them and they told him no, so he went to Osama and Da Beast and now he's going to get his revenge on them for turning him down. Anyway, Osama and the Da Beast finally win clean with a sidewalk slam/elbow combination doubleteam.
- Ken Donne (w/ Kenny Bolin) v.s. Deuce Shade. Beat the Champ TV Title match. Deuce Shade was Jimmy Snuka, Jr before, now he's got some kind of lame "The Gambler"/Kill Bill gimmick. He throws a deck of cards into the crowd. Deuce hits a nice top rope legdrop/armbreaker and later a top rope leg lariat, but this is quite dull. Cornette hard sells the Six Flags Show. Donne hits the Donneation for a 2 count and he can't believe it. Bolin tries to hit Shade with the briefcase but gets punched out. Mike Mondo runs in and hits Shade with the briefcase. Elbow drop by Donne and he gets a 3 count. Donne is the new TV champ and gets ... one thousand dollars. Blaster hits a powerslam on Shade. Albright and Elijah Burke hit the ring and clean house until Bolin throws powder in their eyes. Cornette goes crazy and says "THAT'S TOO DAMN MUCH" and hits the ring. He starts punching Bolin like crazy. Hill goes "OH JESUS, NO" as Donne decks Cornette and Blaster Lasheley gives him a big powerslam. Bolin takes his shoes and sock off and Donne makes Cornette kiss Bolin's foot. Hill is really racking up the "JESUS" count here as he gets another mention and a "Good GAWD" in. There's a huge pop! It's Eugene with a KENDO STICK. Huge "EUGENE" chant. Dinsmore goes crazy and clears the ring with Kendo stick shots. Cornette and Eugene hug. We'll be back with a final word from Team OVW.
- Cornette cuts a classic promo to close out the show. Deuce Shade will be guarding the door with a kendo stick. He says Mama Dinsmore named him Nick but the world knows him as Eugene and he will be the third man in Team OVW. Lots of great lines in this one as Cornette uses a bottle of water to try to wash the taste of Bolin's foot.
Wow... this show was very dull, but that angle at the end was super-hot and a great promo by Cornette saved it. The stuff at the end makes the show worth checking out this week.
IF FAMOUS B GOOGLES HIMSELF, HE MAY END UP HERE! WE FINALLY FIND OUT THAT THAT CHICK WAS A PLANT! LETHAL LADIES LOVE LRESTLING! ALL THIS AND NATURAL SELECTION OPEN A CHALLENGE - A CHALLENGE TO SIT THROUGH THE MAIN EVENT! PLAY ME FIRST!