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The W - Pro Wrestling - On This (Yester)Day: WCW Uncensored 1996
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Since: 2.1.02
From: Ottawa, Ontario

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#1 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.81
Well, we all knew it was coming. The worst show in the history of mainstream pay-per-view would happen, sooner or later. Sure, you could make arguments for other shows – but I’m going to simply let tonight tell the story instead. I haven’t watched this show in over a decade, and I really never imagined needing to see it again. But then, I never thought I’d be recapping an entire year worth of professional wrestling, so here we are.
 
This review comes to you via Apple Chamomile tea. It’s the only thing I could find that would relax me going into this show, short of asking my doctor for a prescription for Thorazine.
 
Tonight’s participants in the main event are given a promo that would be better suited for Halloween Havoc, seeing as how everyone is distorted, using voice recorders, and may in fact be dead inside.
 
Hello Tupelo, Mississippi – we’ve got 4 cages, two tiers, and a lovely buttercream frosting – TONY SCHAVIONE, DUSTY RHODES, and BOBBY HEENAN are on site. Heenan is wearing leather for his own protection.
 
EDDIE GUERRERO vs. KONAN (for the WCW United States title)
 
Nice of the US Champion to show up tonight. Guerrero is the first deserving challenger to this belt since Sting was holding it back in November. Konnan takes Eddie to the mat, but Eddie bounces up and hits a super armdrag. Eddie goes to an anklelock, and moves to a figure four in the centre of the ring. Konnan gets to the ropes to break, and Eddie applauds him because he’s a wiener. Heenan: “He should pat Konnan on the back for a good escape, and then lay the boots to him when he’s not looking.” Eddie goes to a chinlock, but Konnan quickly escapes and grapevines the leg. Hold is released and moved to a Boston crab. They trade armdrags and legsweeps, and during the applause of respect, Konnan bitch slaps Eddie. Somehow this draws a split chant between the crowd, and I’d love to know what exactly Konnan has done to this point to deserve any of it? Eddie attacks first off this, and snaps off a Frankensteiner for 2. Eddie applies a camel clutch, but Konnan shrugs it off and dumps him. Back in, Eddie goes back to the headlock on the mat. Konnan heads to the outside, while Heenan rambles on about a bowl of Mama Guerrero’s chili. Back in, Eddie hits a European uppercut and Tony throws in that this is “a truly international affair!” Rana sends Konnan sprawling, and Eddie is quickly up top and nails the plancha. Back in, a slingshot senton gets 2 before Konnan hooks the ropes. Eddie applies a figure four sleeper hold, but Konnan won’t fade, and reverses into a backwards STF. Konnan hits a German, goes for a second but Eddie catches him and rolls him up for 2. Eddie goes back to the Frankensteiner for 2. Konnan comes back with a Razors Edge that gets a close 2; and I would have bet that was it. Eddie heads up, but gets dumped to the floor, allowing Konnan to nail tope suicida which was nowhere near as impressive as it sounds. Eddie is dragged back in and clotheslined. Konnan heads up but gets cut off and nailed with a superplex for 2. They head back to the corner and blow whatever they’re trying here. That leads to an awkward Thesz Press, where Konnan headbutts Eddie right into the jalapenos and gets the pin at 18:24 to retain. Konnan offers the hand of friendship to Konnan, but Eddie tells him to get bent as he coddles his balls. If you like a lot of moves with no flow, this match is for you. **
 
Meanwhile, COLONEL ROBERT PARKER and “DIRTY” DICK SLATER are with “MEAN” GENE OKERLUND, who suggests that Parker might have something to do with the disappearance of Bunkhouse Buck. Personally, I’d love to give you the lowdown of Buck’s mysterious disappearance, but I’ll assume it’s injury related because against my personal protests, he will eventually return. Parker promises he’s doing this for his Uncle, for Elvis, for all the people in Mississippi who love Colonel Parker like a hog loves slaw. I seriously hope he was considered for the Jack Swagger management role before they chose Dutch.
 
“LORD” STEVEN REGAL (with Jeeves) vs. FIT FINLAY
 
Finlay smacks Jeeves on the way to the ring, and I have to think it’s a shoot because he completely no-sells it and walks away. Finlay punches Regal in the corner with ridiculous force, and Regal comes back with some seriously stiff European uppercuts. Finlay’s forearm shot gets 2. A ridiculously hard short clothesline levels Regal; and I’m starting to think this pair genuinely hate each other. Finlay kicks Regal full force in the kidneys, and he’ll be pissing blood for a week. Euro uppercut drops Finlay, and Regal puts on a headlock. He doesn’t even seem to be doing THAT lightly, as Finlay immediately turns purple. Regal adds some eyebrow shots, but doesn’t draw blood. They head outside, where Finlay drops Regal throat first across the guard rail. Finlay starts working over Regal’s arm, so Regal fights loose with hair pulling and eye gouging, just like a Real Man’s Man. Regal plants Finlay with a dropkick, and covers with his elbow grinding into Finlay’s nose. Finlay cracks Regal with a forearm shot so hard I’m shocked he’s not immediately KOed, because that one rang through the arena. The fans are totally unsure of what to make of this having never seen anything like it, and it doesn’t help that both guys are heel, because this is pretty incredible. You can bet that if guys were hitting each other this hard today, they’d already be chanting “THIS MATCH RULES”. Regal kneels across Finlay’s throat, and kicks him in the side of the face. More Euro uppercuts, but Finlay pokes him in the eye and drops a knee across Regal’s face – thankfully NOT full force! A senton that sees the bulk of Finlay’s weight hit Regal square in the midsection gets 2. Finlay works a sleeper, but Regal fights out. Finlay explodes out of the corner with a REAL clothesline from hell, but it only gets 2. Regal checks his teeth. Finlay slams Regal face first into the apron, and sends him sprawling head first to the guard rail. Regal looks both pissed, and scrambled. Off the apron, Regal suplexes Finlay to the floor and he hits HEAD first – followed by Regal dropping an elbow off the apron right into Finlay’s face!! Back in, Regal drops an elbow again, but only gets 2 when Finlay palms Regal’s face, and kicks him in the spine. The fans are now waking up, and give Finlay a loud cheer; not easy to do from a man wearing that singlet with that hair. Regal kicks a field goal on the Blarney Stones, and grinds Finlay’s face into the mat again. Regal double stomps the face, because seriously, at this point what does it matter? More stiff kicks, but Finlay thumbs the eye and drops a knee on Regal’s head a few more times. Regal dodges an elbow drop, and applies a rear chinlock with some added forearm shots to the bridge of the nose. The guys suddenly remember they’re in a wrestling match, and try some mat stuff, but Regal gives up on that and starts pounding on the back of Finlay’s head again. Regal goes face to face with Finlay and tells him “NOW LISTEN” – and Finlay punches him right in the mouth. They head to the outside, where Finlay’s done with anything resembling tradition, and just throws punches they’ll hear in the 3rd deck. Regal’s nearly counted out, likely because he genuinely has no damn idea where he is anymore. Somehow he winds up back in the ring, where Finlay starts driving him head first to the buckle repeatedly. Finlay goes for the kill, but Regal has a little life left and sends him over the top. Regal is pouring blood like a faucet now from the nose, so we’re stuck on the hard camera from a distance. And for no real reason other than we couldn’t book a winner, THE BLUE BLOODS run out for the stupid DQ at 17:27. Finlay is triple teamed, while the camera tries like hell to avoid Regal’s face. Unfortunately, we only HEAR and can’t fully see Regal punch him out with a shot that would drop a lesser man. Finlay though mans up and chases Regal to the back. Holy hell ... match of the night, and totally forgotten classic. It’s all downhill from here kids. ****
 
“MEAN” GENE OKERLUND has tracked down JIMMY HART and THE GIANT. Hart vows tonight is the night he extracts revenge on everyone, from Hogan, to Savage, to Sting, to Loch Ness. Well then. Giant promises to smoke Loch Ness like bacon on the griddle, and is going to tear Ric Flair limb from limb and win the World Title tomorrow night on Nitro.
 
COLONEL ROBERT PARKER vs. MADUSA
 
Is this a match in the current WCW Cruiserweight tournament? Parker locks up Madusa right to the corner, and breaks clean, causing Dusty to scream about the entire affair as though he was watching two guys legitimately beat on each other for 17 minutes and 27 seconds. Parker goes into the airplane spin, where Madusa squeals like ... well, you know. Madusa gets a roll up for 2, and then slams the Colonel to way too much of a reaction. DICK SLATER meets Colonel in the aisle, while Madusa demands more. Colonel comes back with a double handed chokeslam, but misses an elbow drop. Madusa dropkicks him on both ends of the ring, and Colonel again runs out. This time, Madusa follows with a plancha, and kicks away at him. Back in, Colonel misses a clothesline, and Madusa hits a German for 2, broken only by Slater. Parker then covers for the win at 3:48. The good: It was better than most Craig Pittman matches. The bad: It was about 3 minutes too long. The ugly: Parker’s sweat stains coupled with Madusa’s horse face. DUD
 
LEE MARSHALL is standing by a chalkboard that describes the stupid Doomsday Cage. Thankfully we’re focusing on THE ROAD WARRIORS instead, words I never thought I’d write. Shockingly, they want the tag-team titles. Hawk promises that Sting and Booker will have to depend on Depends for the rest of their lives. What is with them, first Luger is a lousy piece of ass, and now they’re threatening bowel dysfunction?
 
DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE vs. THE BOOTY MAN (for control of Kimberly and DDP’s money, in an I Quit Wrestling match)
 
Sadly an “I Quit Wrestling” match isn’t going to be wrestled under the type of rules you might expect, because only DDP will be forced to quit if he loses which seems decidedly unfair. Booty Man is wearing so much spray tan at this point that even Hogan’s asking him to cool it, brother. DDP gets into it with the crowd before the match, and scratches his hair so much I’m concerned about lice, or a heroin problem. They trade pose-offs, with DDP getting booed out of the building. Booty gets the early control, while the camera takes uncomfortably long looks at his bright orange ass. Screw it, I’m not suffering alone.
 
 
 
Page screams at a “fat pig” in the front row. Now that doesn’t seem like the type of positivity I’ve come to expect from Page. I certainly doubt that’s how he started his conversation with Jake Roberts; though I would pay $9.99 a day to watch DDP’s Yoga Detox House and I do not understand why the WWE hasn’t purchased it as the staple of a potential WWE Network. DDP remains true to his craft, as he continues to yell “SHUT UP YOU FAT PIG” at the fans while stuck in an armbar. DDP gets dumped, and when back on the apron he gets into it with Nick Patrick. Patrick responds by shoving DDP back to the floor, and he bumps like a madman. DDP decides to leave, and seriously, the fix is in so I would too. Booty drags Page back to the ring, but this time Page is ready and slams Booty face first to the buckle. Again, we’re treated to this:
 
 
 
Booty basically no-sells and slams Page 10 times to the buckle instead, and a wobbly Page tumbles out to the floor and over the guardrail. KIMBERLY comes down to ringside dressed as an orange ballerina, complete with poofy orange tutu. After a criss cross that goes nowhere, Page struts like Flair and winds up getting beaten and tied up in the ropes. Page tries an armdrag, but the orange goof doesn’t even know how to sell that and he winds up lying down on Page for 2. Jesus. Finally, Booty misses a crossbody, allowing Page to choke him down and get 2. Page nails a backdrop and calls for the Diamond Cutter, looking squarely at Kimberly. Instead, he goes to a headlock, while Kimberly looks at the camera and carries on about the Booty Man being “sooooo cute”. Heenan: “It looks like she’s wearing a mushroom, that’s the worst looking dress I’ve ever seen!” Kimberly: “I don’t want him to get hurt, I want him to be my boyfriend!” Instead, Page grabs her and gets a kiss, but Kim slaps him, leading right into a high knee, and Page is forced to quit at 15:56. Booty and Kim make out, and she nearly passes out from the passion. You might wonder just WHERE this angle is going since Page has now lost the TV Title, his wife, his millions, and now his job. To answer that, we turn things over to ...
 
“MEAN” GENE OKERLUND who is openly wishing for a threesome with Kimberly and Booty Man by stating “I’m feeling a little left out!” JIMMY HART promises LEX LUGER it’s the last night he’ll ever manage Lex Luger, and leaves him with the Lex Luger jacket, finishing with “I love you man!!!” and runs off in tears. Luger tells Gene how hard it is to watch his best friend go through the Chicago Street Fight, to the point it breaks his heart. Luger promises to step in the cage later, “whether I want to be there or not”, and as the competitor he is, he’ll give it his best!
 
LOCH NESS vs. THE GIANT (with Jimmy Hart) (winner gets a World Title shot on Nitro)
 
Seeing as how they’re already announcing Giant as having the title shot, the result of this shouldn’t be in doubt. Giant chops away at Ness. Ness fires back with some slow punches, but Giant slams him face first to the buckle to stop that. Avalanche misses, and Giant goes flying to the outside. Back in, Ness hits the big elbow, but misses a second one. Giant drops a leg, and gets the win at 2:36. Giant points out that one was for Hogan. DUD
 
For anyone wondering why Loch Ness went from Hogan challenger to jobber; it’s because shortly after he arrived he was diagnosed with cancer and had to return home for treatment. WCW needed an escape plan, which is why you didn’t really see him wrestle after his abrupt dumping from the Dungeon of Doom.
 
LEE MARSHALL hypes the Chicago Street fight, and brings in STING and BOOKER T, the unlikely bedfellows. Booker promises it’s gonna be on like neckbone. Sting: “Straight OG like neckbone right?” Good LORD he’s white. It ain’t gonna be no thang like a chicken wang on a strang.
 
THE ROAD WARRIORS vs. STING and BOOKER T (in a Chicago Street Fight)
 
Hawk attacks during Sting and Booker’s entrances. This is a WCW special, with the split screen camera, and everyone all over the building where you can’t follow anything. Of course, the split screen winds up showing the same thing very early, making you wonder, is something wrong with one screen? Booker kills Animal with the axe kick, and gets 2. Animal comes back with a powerslam and elbowdrop. On the floor, Sting and Hawk punch each other a lot. Everyone trades. Animal crotches Sting on the ringpost, but Sting recovers and gives the same thing right back. Booker drops Hawk with Sweet Chin Music. Meanwhile, Sting faceplants Animal but Hawk breaks it up and chokes Sting out with the boot. Booker heads up, but Hawk stops whatever with a shot to the midsection. Meanwhile, Sting and Hawk are walking around the aisle and occasionally hitting each other. Animal and Hawk change places, so Booker puts Hawk in a cross armbreaker in the ring, while Sting and Animal start swinging chairs. Sting heads back in and cracks Hawk in the head, but Animal steals it and hits both Sting and Booker. Booker clotheslines Animal, while Sting spike piledrives Hawk. Of course, Hawk pops right up with more strength than ever, which Dusty explains is due to his unparalleled neck strength. I guess his spine is made of rubber too. Hawk drops Sting with a powerbomb and applies a rear naked choke. On the floor, Booker chokes out Animal with camera cables. Everyone winds up outside the ring, and trade blows, with nobody selling anything for more than a couple of seconds. Animal and Booker head to the back, where Animal throws Booker into the Doomsday Cage. In the ring, Sting misses the Stinger Splash, and Hawk clotheslines him. Animal hurries in for the Doomsday Device, but Booker breaks it up. A crossbody from Booker on Hawk gets 2. Sting goes low on Animal, out of character but in the context of the match I’ll let it slide. Hawk backdrops Booker. Booker comes right back with a sidewalk slam, and tries a spinaroonie but spins right into Animal and can’t finish the dance. Sting heads up and tries a splash off the top, but misses everyone. Hawk tries a flying headbutt, but Booker catches him with a dropkick. Animal powers Booker into the corner, where Nick Patrick asks “do you want to stop? Squeeze my hand if you want to stop!” Instead, Booker squeezes Animal’s little Warriors, and they head back to the floor. Everyone trades off again, and Booker hits the Axekick on Hawk. Sting is sent to the guardrail, while Booker puts the camel clutch on Hawk. Hawk escapes and clotheslines Booker to the outside. Sting slams Animal and heads up. Unfortunately, Animal is waiting and powerslams him. Everyone speculates Sting just blew out a knee, or tore a shoulder ligament. However, for a guy with all these alleged problems, Sting’s shaking it off well, on his feet and throwing chops. Booker flies across the ring with a huge Harlem sidekick on Animal, while Hawk and Sting fight over a chair. Sting walks off and Tony speculates he’s looking for a chainsaw. Hawk powerslams Booker, while Sting emerges with a broom. Animal is beaten down, and Hawk gets some licks too. Animal steals it, breaks the broom in half, and whips Booker with the broom handle; Sting with the broom. I smell racism. Booker takes off looking pissed, while Hawk splashes Sting alone for 2. We get a camera in the back, with a random shot of LEX LUGER walking around watching the match. Animal attacks him, which pisses Luger RIGHT off, and with STEVIE RAY’s help, Animal is triple teamed. JIMMY HART handcuffs Animal to a post, where Luger tees off on him. Booker heads back to ringside, but misses the Harlem Hangover on Hawk. Stevie Ray hits Hawk in the back of the head with a chair, and Booker gets the pin to earn a tag-team title shot at a ridiculous 29:31. This could have been wrapped up about 20 minutes earlier, and considering the participants, they would have been well served to do so. *
 
MICHAEL BUFFER is out, and ... I take it back – give me another hour of Sting/Booker vs. Road Warriors, anything but this!!!!
 
RIC FLAIR (with Woman and Elizabeth), ARN ANDERSON, KEVIN SULLIVAN (with Jimmy Hart), LEX LUGER, MENG (from some unknown part of the planet), THE BARBARIAN, Z-GANGSTA (a nightmare from Hulk Hogan’s past), and THE ULTIMATE SOLUTION vs. THE MEGAPOWERS (in a Doomsday Cage Match)
 
The announcers correctly point out that Brian Pillman was supposed to be part of this and is nowhere to be seen. Tony figures he’s too afraid to be near Kevin Sullivan; because THAT’S consistent with his character through this point. Gangsta and Solution are nowhere to be seen either. I need to give you an idea of how incredibly stupid this entire concept is, and I think that pictures are sometimes better than words. Though, please rest assured, I will be providing plenty of words.
 
 
 
Flair rips off Savage’s shirt and chops away. Arn rakes Hogan’s eyes and stomps at him. The mesh is holding together, but everyone’s a little tentative because there’s a lot of weight up there. Tony tries to explain the rules of this match, where if Hogan and Savage survive this first part, they’ll have to work their way to the bottom and survive that. But how is it determined they “survive”? Do they just decide at some point “yeah, we’re good” and walk downstairs? Are Ric and Arn allowed to follow? And just where IS Z-Gangsta? Heenan starts going on about how this is better than a Superbowl and a World Series combined, a pro-wrestling hyperbolic staple. Arn puts a figure four on Hogan, and Flair follows with one on Savage. Everyone smartly lies across the beams, likely in fear of tearing the mesh and collapsing right on to Meng. Flair passes something down through the floor to Luger, while Hogan throws powder in the Horsemen’s faces. Savage and Hogan head down to the bottom tier of the cage, and Tony declares Arn and Flair eliminated. Oh. Hogan wraps a chain around his fist and beats up Sullivan. If he was smart he’d have used Duggan’s athletic tape. Luger steals the chain and beats down Hogan. Tony starts speculating there might be another 35 guys in the back waiting for Hogan. Hogan uses his chain to cut off the cage, and lock the Faces of Fear away, leaving him and Savage alone with Sullivan and Luger. Sullivan leaves the cage and heads out to the scaffolding. Hogan tries to throw him to the floor, but Sullivan hangs on. Hogan and Sullivan brawl down a level, where Sullivan tries in vain to dump the Hulkster over the edge. All four guys wind up on the floor, where the bell DOESN’T ring, so if you’re still wondering how on earth this match is supposed to end ... well, you and everyone else. Sullivan is beaten down with Michael Buffer’s microphone, and given a big boot. All the other wrestlers break loose from the locked area, and try to make their way loose from the last door. Luger works over Savage alone, while Hogan heads back towards the cage. Hogan drops Luger with a knapsack (yes, a knapsack), and Sullivan throws Savage into the cage. Savage fights loose, and grabs some plywood. In the ring, Hogan and Luger square off, with Hogan getting all the offense. Sullivan sneaks in and goes low. All four men start randomly hitting each other, so this has now become a déjà-vous from the Chicago Street Fight. THE ULTIMATE SOLUTION and Z-GANGSTA make their way down now. Solution drags Hogan to the cage, and Gangsta does the same on Savage. The four wind up in a ring below the Doomsday cage but still inside the mesh. Solution powers Hogan down, while Gangsta beats his chest like a gorilla and stands over Savage. Hogan takes an atomic drop, but Hogan stays on his feet and rakes the eyes. Savage throws meaningless clotheslines at Gangsta, and winds up stuck in a bearhug. Hogan saves Savage, and winds up face to face with Gangsta. He chokes Hogan to the mat, while Solution powerslams Savage. Savage reaches into his tights, but now Arn Anderson and Ric Flair hit the ring, despite having been eliminated and thus should not be legal. Flair is strutting and feeling good. Hart celebrates while squealing like a hyena. Gangsta starts yelling loudly, and throwing some awful double chops at Hogan’s shoulders. THE BOOTY MAN slides a frying pan for each of Savage and Hogan, and everyone takes head shots. Luger rushes in to the ring, and Heenan suggests he bring a stove. Tony: “Luger’s obviously the fresh man, he hasn’t been hit with a frying pan!” Luger puts on a coal miner’s glove, but he decks Flair by mistake. Savage dives onto Flair, and gets the pin at 25:14. Yes, the WORLD CHAMPION does the job in a match featuring 8 guys to choose from. This is without a shadow of a doubt, the worst pay-per-view main event I have ever seen, and I’ve damn near seen them all. -*****
 
It was clear at this point, that WCW needed serious changes on top of the card. Hogan was NOT working anymore, they’d run through every single possible main event combination, and they needed something fresh. The Hulkster wasn’t prepared to relinquish the spot he’d worked so hard for either, but maybe a little time off was exactly what he needed.
 
And hey, maybe that Cruiserweight Tournament they’re talking up will help spice up the undercard. Just maybe. Honestly, if I had no idea what was coming, this likely would have been the last straw for me.
 
Nitro later.




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Since: 12.1.02
From: Indianapolis, IN; now residing in Suffolk, VA

Since last post: 63 days
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#2 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.20
I feel your pain. A few years ago the main event was a WrestleCrap inductee, so I checked it out on YouTube or something to see just how bad it was.

And yeaaah. The mere result of the match should have served as a dead giveaway. Hogan and Savage defeat EIGHT OTHER PEOPLE at the same time.



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Since: 11.12.01
From: Catlin IL

Since last post: 270 days
Last activity: 264 days
#3 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.02

"For anyone wondering why Loch Ness went from Hogan challenger to jobber; it’s because shortly after he arrived he was diagnosed with cancer and had to return home for treatment. WCW needed an escape plan, which is why you didn’t really see him wrestle after his abrupt dumping from the Dungeon of Doom."

There is a story that at a TV taping a worker took advantage of Loch Ness' immobility and got in an unscripted pin on the big fellow.

That worker was supposedly....THE GAMBLER!



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BigDaddyLoco
Scrapple








Since: 2.1.02

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 59 min.
#4 Posted on | Instant Rating: 5.24
    Originally posted by Eddie Famous
    "For anyone wondering why Loch Ness went from Hogan challenger to jobber; it’s because shortly after he arrived he was diagnosed with cancer and had to return home for treatment. WCW needed an escape plan, which is why you didn’t really see him wrestle after his abrupt dumping from the Dungeon of Doom."

    There is a story that at a TV taping a worker took advantage of Loch Ness' immobility and got in an unscripted pin on the big fellow.

    That worker was supposedly....THE GAMBLER!


I just got all tingly inside.
texasranger9
Chourico








Since: 9.1.11

Since last post: 2 hours
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#5 Posted on | Instant Rating: 2.40
I wasn't into wCw at this time. All I know of this match is it showing up in a Botchamania. The clip where Savage jumps at a pile of "powder" with the word COKE! on screen above him.
It's False
Scrapple








Since: 20.6.02
From: I am the Tag Team Champions!

Since last post: 7 hours
Last activity: 2 hours
#6 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.37
    Originally posted by cfgb
    EDDIE GUERRERO vs. KONAN (for the WCW United States title)

     


    Nice of the US Champion to show up tonight. Guerrero is the first deserving challenger to this belt since Sting was holding it back in November. Konnan takes Eddie to the mat, but Eddie bounces up and hits a super armdrag. Eddie goes to an anklelock, and moves to a figure four in the centre of the ring. Konnan gets to the ropes to break, and Eddie applauds him because he’s a wiener. Heenan: “He should pat Konnan on the back for a good escape, and then lay the boots to him when he’s not looking.” Eddie goes to a chinlock, but Konnan quickly escapes and grapevines the leg. Hold is released and moved to a Boston crab. They trade armdrags and legsweeps, and during the applause of respect, Konnan bitch slaps Eddie. Somehow this draws a split chant between the crowd, and I’d love to know what exactly Konnan has done to this point to deserve any of it? Eddie attacks first off this, and snaps off a Frankensteiner for 2. Eddie applies a camel clutch, but Konnan shrugs it off and dumps him. Back in, Eddie goes back to the headlock on the mat. Konnan heads to the outside, while Heenan rambles on about a bowl of Mama Guerrero’s chili. Back in, Eddie hits a European uppercut and Tony throws in that this is “a truly international affair!” Rana sends Konnan sprawling, and Eddie is quickly up top and nails the plancha. Back in, a slingshot senton gets 2 before Konnan hooks the ropes. Eddie applies a figure four sleeper hold, but Konnan won’t fade, and reverses into a backwards STF. Konnan hits a German, goes for a second but Eddie catches him and rolls him up for 2. Eddie goes back to the Frankensteiner for 2. Konnan comes back with a Razors Edge that gets a close 2; and I would have bet that was it. Eddie heads up, but gets dumped to the floor, allowing Konnan to nail tope suicida which was nowhere near as impressive as it sounds. Eddie is dragged back in and clotheslined. Konnan heads up but gets cut off and nailed with a superplex for 2. They head back to the corner and blow whatever they’re trying here. That leads to an awkward Thesz Press, where Konnan headbutts Eddie right into the jalapenos and gets the pin at 18:24 to retain. Konnan offers the hand of friendship to Konnan, but Eddie tells him to get bent as he coddles his balls. If you like a lot of moves with no flow, this match is for you. **



What exactly what the plan with Konan and Eddie supposed to be here? I remember watching the nutshot at the time and thinking Konan was going heel, but then no one ever spoke of it again. What happened?




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PowerPB13
Morcilla








Since: 25.4.02
From: Belleville, IL USA

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#7 Posted on
Finlay-Regal is a match that I reeeeeally need to go back and watch...I don't recall caring much for it at the time but I'd probably appreciate it more nowadays.



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Italian








Since: 11.5.02

Since last post: 6 days
Last activity: 1 day
#8 Posted on | Instant Rating: 8.38
    Originally posted by cfgb
    Well, we all knew it was coming. The worst show in the history of mainstream pay-per-view would happen, sooner or later.

It wasn't even the worst show of the last 6 months - Halloween Havoc 95 wins that acclaim by far!

Back in the 90's the only way we had access to WCW PPV's in the UK was through a German sports channel that would air them on a delay at 1am on a Saturday night. One of my friends would always stay over to watch and I vividly remember us watching this show and not having a clue what was meant to be happening in the main event. I guess we just assumed it was because the commentary was in German so we couldn't hear the rules but years later I finally got an English version of the show and it still made no sense at all. I don't even think the guys in the match knew what the rules were. I remember Savage walking out of the cage at the end and having to be told to go back and pin Flair!!

The ego on display in this match is staggering. And the fact they brought in two non-workers for a single PPV shot and STILL had Hogan pin Flair really speaks volumes about how the company was being run at that point. It's absolutely crazy to think they went from this to the nWo in the space of a few months.

Loving these reviews by the way. Keep them coming!



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cfgb
Lap cheong








Since: 2.1.02
From: Ottawa, Ontario

Since last post: 1 hour
Last activity: 15 min.
#9 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.81
    Originally posted by CTX
    It wasn't even the worst show of the last 6 months - Halloween Havoc 95 wins that acclaim by far!


Disagree. Havoc had a series of strong undercard matches, especially a wonderfully (if obviously) booked Sting/Flair vs. Pillman/Arn match that featured Sting capturing his record 6th "Dumbest Man In Wrestling" title.

JL and Sabu was pretty fast paced and way outside the WCW norm, and we even got a decent Page/Badd match that settled the "I ONLY MENTIONED ONE TIIIIREEEE! *tooti frooti!*" feud, and started the "I'm gonna steal your wife, money, job, and then let Ed Leslie reap the rewards with his giant orange ass" feud.

And if THAT'S not enough, you have the Giant no-selling a fall off the roof of the MGM Grand, and the Yeti humping Hulk Hogan. It's not even the worst Halloween Havoc of all time (hi David Flair vs. Buff Bagwell in a DNA match!).



The Shooting Star Press blog
ekedolphin
Scrapple








Since: 12.1.02
From: Indianapolis, IN; now residing in Suffolk, VA

Since last post: 63 days
Last activity: 8 days
#10 Posted on | Instant Rating: 3.20
Here's a YouTube link to the Regal/Finlay match, and something I found great about it is that the announcers were talking about the stiffness throughout the contest.

I'd also forgotten just how much personal animosity clearly existed between Tony Schiavone and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan. His slapping-down of Heenan's remarks was a lot nastier than Gorilla Monsoon's exasperated (but almost affectionate) "WILL YOU STOP!"

Of course, lest Finlay get over after that match, we must immediately book him against a barely-interested Savage the next night on Nitro and lose in seven minutes. THIS IS WCW!

(edited by ekedolphin on 26.3.13 2136)


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SKLOKAZOID
Bratwurst








Since: 20.3.02
From: California

Since last post: 1 day
Last activity: 2 hours
AIM:  
#11 Posted on | Instant Rating: 7.38
    Originally posted by cfgb

    Yes, the WORLD CHAMPION does the job in a match featuring 8 guys to choose from. This is without a shadow of a doubt, the worst pay-per-view main event I have ever seen, and I’ve damn near seen them all. -*****

Isn't it worse when the "captain" of the team isn't the one eating the pin? Keep in mind, Flair was the one that beat Savage for the title after getting Liz to turn on him just a month prior, so without Flair having to drop the strap to Savage, pinning Flair was a good way for Savage to get revenge without another rapid-fire title change.

It's much more anticlimactic for, say, Ultimate Solution or The Barbarian to be the one taking the pin.
cfgb
Lap cheong








Since: 2.1.02
From: Ottawa, Ontario

Since last post: 1 hour
Last activity: 15 min.
#12 Posted on | Instant Rating: 6.81
    Originally posted by SKLOKAZOID
      Originally posted by cfgb

      Yes, the WORLD CHAMPION does the job in a match featuring 8 guys to choose from. This is without a shadow of a doubt, the worst pay-per-view main event I have ever seen, and I’ve damn near seen them all. -*****

    Isn't it worse when the "captain" of the team isn't the one eating the pin? Keep in mind, Flair was the one that beat Savage for the title after getting Liz to turn on him just a month prior, so without Flair having to drop the strap to Savage, pinning Flair was a good way for Savage to get revenge without another rapid-fire title change.

    It's much more anticlimactic for, say, Ultimate Solution or The Barbarian to be the one taking the pin.


Look, I'd be liable to agree with you if:

- It was a regular 2-on-2 or even 3-on-2 handicap match, but not EIGHT! If the World Champion can't defend himself with 400% more players, then how am I supposed to believe he can successfully defend the title against anyone?

- If the announcers hadn't spent quite a bit of time going over how Flair and Anderson had been "eliminated" by allowing Hogan and Savage through to the second stage.

- If any of the goddamn rules made sense.



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I blame senility on this one. After a while it all starts to blend together and I convinced myself Taker won in '90 instead of '91.
- redsoxnation, Historical Question (2009)
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