It’s the most exciting hour of Jobber Squashes on TV 17-years ago! THIS ... is WCW Prime!
CHRIS CRUISE is hyping Valentine’s Day first, and Superbrawl second. I guess if you look like Chris Cruise, you gotta work the ladies with whatever straws you can grasp at. DUSTY RHODES is all over tonight’s main event, the Nasty Boys against Men At Work! I’m probably far too giddy about that.
MENG vs. RIC VALENTINO
Cruise is dumbfounded that the Dungeon of Doom is able to continually acquire great wrestlers week after week. Look, I’m not one to doubt the greatness that is Meng, I think you, Chris Cruise, and I all see it. But Jesus man, this is a stable that also contains the Zodiac, the Barbarian, and Kevin Sullivan, let’s watch that hyperbole just a little yo! You’ll notice I omitted the Yeti, who was recently redubbed Super Giant Ninja, because there’s the awesome wrestlers like Meng, and then there’s some people that just transcend the sport itself. Meanwhile, Meng does that thing Meng does, and the Spike ends this at 2:56. *1/2 for an entertaining squash.
STING vs. THE GAMBLER
Oh hell yes baby! Gambler shows off his Ace of Spades, FOLLOWED BY HIS FIST! Sting better best be paying attention, this is clearly a man who means business. Gambler gives Sting a chance, and slides out to the floor to point to his head. I’d absolutely love to see him at a poker table, pushing all in on a bluff, getting called, and berating the other players for being too stupid to know when to fold. Sting hiptosses Gambler, so Gambler regroups by talking to himself and pointing to his head over and over and re-iterate just how damn smart he is. Who’s to argue? He is the Gambler! Gambler actually gets the first offense of his career, and puts a grapevine on Sting! Unfortunately, well, you know ... Scorpion Deathlock ends matters at 2:53. * Sting beats Meng’s time by 3 seconds and is now tonight’s Beat The Clock leader.
HARLEM HEAT gets a little promo time. Stevie Ray tell it like this – ain’t nothing gonna change, all tag-teams be gettin the whippin of they lives. Booker T talks trash against Flava Flav. Well I never.
THE YETTI vs. BARRY HOUSTON
I am downright disgusted with WCW’s decision to get rid of the Super Giant Ninja nickname, but he has kept the ninja gear as opposed to reverting to the dusty toilet paper. Ninja makes ninja moves to let us know just how ninja he is. He’s super. Giant even. Karate chops are put on display, along with plenty of Japanese fight poses. Tilt-a-whirl slam is decidedly un-Ninja, but gets the win at 2:04. 1/2* The commercial breaks aren’t even this short.
MR. JL vs. DISCO INFERNO
This is apparently a grudge match from around Christmas, where JL scored an upset win over Disco. This is Disco’s first appearance on Prime that I’ve recapped I think – and gives me a chance to relive just how fantastic his initial few months in WCW were. The fans chant “DISCO DUCK” which sends Disco into a confused rage, which he takes out on JL. Disco’s all white 1970’s suit, and obsession with shaking his booty is basically right out of the Roxbury Guys sketch from SNL; assuming they were professional wrestlers instead of professional clubbers. The fans are positively rabid here; so much so I forget that it’s basically a controlled studio audience. JL gets the “upset” win again with a rollup out of the corner at 3:11. Disco doesn’t care, because his hair is still in place, and true to form, he shakes his booty. That’s my Disco! 1/2*
PUBLIC ENEMY gets promo time, and Rocco Rock pulls an Eric Bischoff by mouthing along with Johnny Grunge. Lots of rapping, none of it original.
KEVIN SULLIVAN (with The Giant and Jimmy Hart) vs. CHUCK WILLIAMS
Giant chokeslams Williams on the floor behind the refs back, which upsets Dusty, because “the outcome of this match was never in doubt!” Well then why have the match? The bell never actually rang to start this one, but it’s your usual Sullivan garbage, with lots of slams and punches, and little else. Double Stomp finishes the business at approximately 2:45. DUD
THE NASTY BOYS vs. MEN AT WORK (in the Match of the Week)
Finally, the answer to the question we’ve waited a lifetime for: flannel, or paint splatter. It seems odd to me that the construction workers appear so much cleaner than their opposition, but then we’re talking about Chris Kanyon so it’s no surprise they’re well groomed. Dusty kills me here by saying Kanyon’s a 26 or 27 year veteran, followed by Cruise: “He’s not even 27 years old!” Saggs hits a really rough clothesline on Kanyon, and sends him to Pity City. A double team effort gets control for the Men at Work, and Mark Starr violently throws Knobbs face first into the post. The one thing I’ll give the Nastys credit for is that they take it as rough as they dish it out. Kanyon’s legdrop gets 2. MAW uses a double team Flatliner, but can’t get the pin. Knobbs turns the momentum with a hairpull that looks like it concusses Starr. Saggs gets the hot tag, and finishes Kanyon with a pumphandle slam followed by a Knobbs splash at 5:55. Kanyon and Starr could bump with the best of them. **1/2
Cruise and Dream wrap things up, by quickly plugging Superbrawl.
This is easily my favorite show of the group I’m doing to recap. Between the colorful characters, and the ridiculous commentary, there’s nothing not to love. Best of all, it’s Hogan-free.
I was on WWE Classics last night, and they had the Top 10 Upsets in a Championship Math, and the one with Giant/Hogan that got interrupted by the Yeti was on there. Two things very funny about that video. One was Schiavante's pronunciation of said Yeti: It's The Yet-aaayyy!" (Like Fonzie saying AAAAAAAy.....", but cut short. The other was what the hell said Yetayy was doing to Hogan and Wight. 4000 year old dry humping???? Whutthu. Check it out:
Originally posted by cfgb This is easily my favorite show of the group I’m doing to recap. Between the colorful characters, and the ridiculous commentary, there’s nothing not to love. Best of all, it’s Hogan-free.
They're the ones I look forward to the most.
I don't think Meng ever had another meaningful win for the rest of his run in WCW, but he could show up on Prime and take it out on some punk and that was enough to keep Meng from becoming Tensai. It kept Alex Wright from becoming Zach Ryder.
I assume the Gambler points to his head right before he takes both arms and rakes in a big pot not after he rakes it in.
The fact that Dusty was allowed to be Dusty and just philabuster for a moment is one of the most underrated things about these shows. Was the commentary good? No, not really, but neither was the wrestling. It was an authentic type of carny, not a what Vince thinks should be carny.
Originally posted by DionysusI am shocked that Sting is in a match so low on the card. It is weird to contemplate Sting as being anything other than a veteran warrior who thinks he is the Joker.
Hmmm. I wonder if the Gambler's use of cards will be an inspiration for Sting's later Heath tendencies.
It's pretty weird seeing Sting on WCW Prime, period. By the time I got into WCW in '97, not only was Sting in the middle of his "Crow" era and not wrestling, but Prime was full of jobbers from top to bottom. Former world champions? Fuhgettaboutit.
"I'm sorry, I'm not much of a hugger." "Not yet you're not." --Randy Orton and Daniel Bryan, SmackDown 1/18/13
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If it is, I hope it isn't the main event, or at least not the only main event. I'm not paying $35-$40 to watch Hogan's decrepit ass in a main event. This matchup might have been interesting even two years ago, but now...