After last week’s god awful iron man match with Craig Pittman and Sting, we hope to god Prime never tries to experiment like that again. Please return me to jobbers being squashed like bugs.
CHRIS CRUISE is quick to remind me we’re less than a month away from Uncensored, and that alone makes me want to quit. DUSTY RHODES is here too, ON THE PRIME!
BUNKHOUSE BUCK and “DIRTY” DICK SLATER (with Colonel Robert Parker) vs. “HARD WORK” BOBBY WALKER and BART SAWYER
Yes, it’s Bobby Walker, the same man who once filed a lawsuit against WCW alleging racism in their booking. Now, I see a double of rednecks like the Stud Stable, managed by an obvious plantation owner in Robert Parker, and the bulk of the offense is directed at Walker, the lone black guy in the match. But, then I also see a guy who once offered to paint his face black and be Sting’s evil nemesis, “Stang”, so I don’t feel too badly for Walker. Sawyer is pinned by Buck at 2:32. 1/2*
ICE TRAIN vs. MANNY FERNANDEZ
Fernandez starts crying about Train pulling the hair right off the lock up, and we can assume that’s about all we’ll see from him. Train hits a hammerlock overhead suplex. A scoop slam sets up a vertical suplex and big splash. Avalanche leads to the announcers talking about whether Ice Train’s weight was the reason he lacked success before. Dusty totally disagrees with weight ever being a problem, and I can’t imagine why he’d take that stance. Powerslam gets the win at 3:37. *
JOHNNY B BADD (with Kimberly, Badd Blaster, and Frisbees) vs. DISCO INFERNO (for the WCW World Television Title)
This is your usual poor planning by WCW, as it probably wouldn’t have killed them to edit Johnny out of the show. One; he and Kimberly appear plenty in love at this point, despite the fact on the other shows they don’t appear to be on speaking terms. Two; Mero had already given his notice to WCW, so the only appearance we needed at this point was him dropping the TV Title, and sending him on his merry way. And for those who are probably lost regarding what I’m talking about, I’ll tackle this soon. Meanwhile, Disco is wearing diamond studded rings that spell out “DDP” which I find incredibly hilarious. While Disco’s here, seriously, why DID Hogan feel “The Booty Man” was a great way for Brutus Beefcake to go, when we have someone doing the EXACT same act? Disco ain’t gonna be confused for no main eventer anytime soon, but he does the Booty Man act even better than Booty Man does. I’d probably move the TV Title to Disco Inferno at this point just to ensure more Disco Inferno is on my TV. Tooti Frooti sends Disco to the floor, where the Badd Day sets up the Badd Mood, and champ retains at 4:05. *1/2
COBRA vs. LT. JAMES EARL
“It’s Sgt. Earl!” Dusty wrongly crows. Cruise reminds us that Cobra is the former CIA Operative, getting Dusty to quip “he worked the phone? Like a operator?” He’s wined and dined with kings and queens, and sat in a ditch eating pork and beans, kids. Dusty’s spies send him a message from his planet about Manny Fernandez, but he opts not to share. Cobra Clutch Slam wins at 3:55. 1/2*
THE NASTY BOYS vs. STING and LEX LUGER (in the Match of the Week for the WCW World Tag-Team Titles)
Champs aren’t wearing the gold, but of course this was taped about 21 months before they won the belts, so that’s no surprise. Luger starts with Saggs, and drops him with the running forearm smash. Cruise actually brings up Luger’s steel plate in the arms, and that’s one area where I’ll give WCW credit – they followed the WWF storylines to ensure some sort of continuity. Saggs drops Luger on his head with a REALLY dangerous looking spike piledriver, but Luger seems alright. Sting and Knobbs head in, where Sting is a house o fire, but a splash is blocked by Knobby Knees. Both Nastys beat on Sting in the corner, getting Dusty screaming about how they’re the best clubberin’ team in the biznezz. A Knobbs splash gets 2. Saggs comes off the top but Sting kicks him in the face and tags out. Luger powerslams Knobbs and calls for the Rack, but Saggs blocks that, and everyone’s in now. Sting faceplants Saggs, but misses the Stinger Splash. Knobbs faceplants Luger, and heads up top. JIMMY HART runs in and trips up Knobbs, and the referee calls for the bell at 7:07. Nastys are announced as winners by DQ, and Sting is dreadfully confused. He screams at the referee, “HOW DID WE GET DISQUALIFIED REF?” – and Luger pulls him to the back to keep him from asking anything else. **
Cruise has a big announcement – next week, Manny Fernandez will be on Prime. Dusty says he’s investigated why Fernandez is always on the show, and it turns out that the producer, “Diane”, has been seen around town with Manny Fernandez. Dusty has the inside scoop next week; though I daresay he just gave us all we need to know. And that’s it! See you next week!
Also, I want to say that I really appreciate how you're covering the 1996 jobber shows along with Nitro. I didn't start watch wrestling until 2000 when the only shows available on my TV (besides Smackdown) were WWF Metal and WCW Worldwide, so I've always had a soft spot for the jobber shows.
Originally posted by Dionysus Also, I want to say that I really appreciate how you're covering the 1996 jobber shows along with Nitro.
Seconded. And there's even interesting stuff going on on the jobber shows, too. By the time I started watching WCW, Prime and Worldwide were quite chaotic and clearly thrown up there just to fulfill contract agreements.
"I'm sorry, I'm not much of a hugger." "Not yet you're not." --Randy Orton and Daniel Bryan, SmackDown 1/18/13
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I also wish Kev the best. Smart-mark, anti-mark, pock-mark, it's all the same shit to me. But even if we're mockin' big Kev it wouldn't kill anyone to add a little: "seriously, though, I hope he's all right."