Johnny B Badd, having debuted for the WWF weeks earlier, remains in the opening credits. THIS ... is WCW!
DUSTY RHODES and CHRIS CRUISE welcome us to another exciting edition. And how exciting? Well, Battlebowl is NOT happening tonight, and that alone is worth something! Also, Fit Finlay is here. Maybe we’re on to something. Also the Barrio Brothers. Well, you can’t win ‘em all. Let’s get down.
FIT FINLAY vs. BILL PAYNE
Dusty points out that this is not Bill Payne who competed in the Olympics; lest we confuse him with a top athlete. Finlay slams Payne face first into the corner of the ring apron. Then Finlay goes to the well, and hits the ASS SPLASH! A kick that you can hear across the arena is delivered to Payne’s face, but Payne kicks out at 2. I suspect he’s going to regret that. Vaderbomb from Finlay is blocked with Payne’s knees, and he hits an explosive clothesline. Finlay responds by kicking him in the face, and flies in with a Shining Wizard. One of the nicest Tombstones you’ll ever see finishes at 3:29. I had honestly forgotten how polished Finlay was in his initial WCW run, and this has been a treat to watch. **
BIG BUBBER vs. MIKE WINNER
Amongst the reasons I love Prime, is you’ve got a guy like Mike Winner who has been appearing on WCW Saturday Night for the last weeks as Chris Kanyon’s latest pillow-buddy, with a freshly trimmed look. Yet here, he is Kanyon free, and his mullet is full of life. So one of two things is happening; he is either getting extensions on a weekly basis, or Prime was taped about 3 and a half years earlier. I’m looking forward to our main event that sees Ron Simmons defend his World Title against Rockin Van Hammer. (That’s a joke folks ... Van Hammer was far too well protected to be squashed by the champion. Simmons is actually facing Chuck Coates.) Bubba shows some agility by hitting an enzuigiri. Bossman Slam finishes at 2:46. *
THE STEINER BROTHERS state their intentions in WCW; specifically, that Scott Steiner will silently mouth all the words to Rick Steiner’s promos in the background going forward.
ALEX WRIGHT vs. PAT TANAKA
Forget Fandagoing, these chicks were Wrighting years ago:
In the truly bizarre world of wrestling, the fans chant USA to show support for ... referee Mark Curtis? Cuz it sure as hell ain’t either of the wrestlers. A headscissors takeover sets up a dropkick which sets up a European Uppercut. I suggest he watches himself; he wouldn’t want to upset Dave Taylor for stealing his move-set. That’ll just get him a European Uppercut, followed by a European Uppercut. Tanaka tries cheating, but it doesn’t work out. Wright gives him two more European Uppercuts, slams Tanaka, and gets 2 off a slingshot splash. German suplex finishes at 6:00. That was about 5:00 too long. *
SCOTT NORTON vs. “NASTY” NED BRADY
Ned kinda looks like Festus, so I’m a little afraid to ask why he’s known as Nasty in fear of hearing about the time he gave Mae Young the Shocker or something. Norton beats Ned to a pulp that has Dusty howling with laughter, with rhymes like “Ned gonna be restin’ in a hospital bed!” Shouldbreaker ends this at 1:26. DUD
Advertisement for Barb Wire, Pamela Anderson’s “breakout” film that answered the question on all our minds; just how much cleavage can you fit into a size 2 leather jacket? That’s followed by the opportunity to purchase “the Art of Woodworking”. WCW!
DISCO INFERNO hawks the “Shake Your Booty Tour” CD, buy now at 1-800-DISCO. “MEAN” GENE OKERLUND hits Disco up for winning horse names at the track, because he’s just as much of a sleazebag as Disco.
CHRIS KANYON vs. BRAD ARMSTRONG
Dusty points out that Brad Armstrong is the best of the Armstrongs, which is actually kind of sad. Kanyon hits a really nice Northern Lights suplex for 2. He applies a Boston crab, and uses the ropes for leverage while the referee checks on Armstrong. He gets caught, because Mark Curtis isn’t taking any nonsense tonight. Kanyon goes up instead, and misses an elbow off the top! Armstrong hits a running knee lift, and follows with a dropkick for 2. Russian legsweep finishes at 2:38. ½*
THE BARRIO BROTHERS vs. STING and LEX LUGER (in the Moo Match of the Week for the WCW World Tag-Team titles)
Dusty notes Sting and Luger aren’t getting along, because apparently he hasn’t seen the last month worth of programming. Sting’s hair is about an inch shorter than it was on Nitro. The very vocal USA chants really make Fidel’s ears bleed, and he’s forced to block the wound with direct pressure in the form of his palms. However, when Sting cheap shots him, his hands bust lose, and blood is just spurting all over the ring. While Fidel bleeds to death, Ricky avenges his brother’s death by getting beaten up by Sting. Ricky tags in his brother, but seeing as how he’s a corpse, he’s easy pickings for Luger who picks him up and clotheslines him. I’ve heard of carrying a match before, but this is ridiculous! But then, just like Al Davis, Fidel comes back to haunt us and leaps off the top with the dreaded hokey pokey attack by putting his right arm in, and Luger sells it like a gunshot. That’s what it’s all about. Ricky comes in to finish, but seeing as how he’s never won a match and has no idea what to do, he winds up getting punched in the face. Fidel goes back to the top, but this time his right arm is out, and Luger just slams him and tags in Sting. Everybody brawls, and the inevitable sees Sting give the Deathlock to Fidel while Luger Racks Ricky, and both tap out at 5:35. **
The boys wrap up the show. This week’s edition was pretty solid. I’m not looking or anything more than a few relatively solid squashes that show off the arsenal of mid-carders I enjoy, and this one delivered. See you Saturday.
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