A 23-year-old smokes pot? HEAVEN FORFEND! WON'T SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN?!?!?!
Skinner: Well, I was wrong. The lizards are a godsend.
Lisa: But isn't that a bit short-sighted? What happens when we're overrun by lizards?
Skinner: No problem. We simply release wave after wave of Chinese needle snakes. They'll wipe out the lizards.
Lisa: But aren't the snakes even worse?
Skinner: Yes, but we're prepared for that. We've lined up a fabulous type of gorilla that thrives on snake meat.
Lisa: But then we're stuck with gorillas!
Skinner: No, that's the beautiful part. When wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death!
Richland County Sheriff Leon Lott says he will charge Michael Phelps with a crime if he determines the Olympics hero smoked marijuana in Richland County.
Phelps, who set a record with eight gold medals in the 2008 Summer Olympics, was photographed smoking a marijuana pipe at a November party in Columbia.
The picture was published in the British newspaper News of the World. Phelps apologized Sunday, calling his behavior "inappropriate."
"This case is no different than any other case," Lott said Monday. "This one might be a lot easier since we have photographs of someone using drugs and a partial confession. It's a relatively easy case once we can determine where the crime occurred."
Possession of marijuana is a misdemeanor, punishable by up to 30 days in jail or a $570 fine, plus court costs.
But Lott seems to be the only person talking about making a case against Phelps. Both the USC and Columbia Police Departments said they would not pursue charges.
For cripes' sakes, just let the story DIE!
"It's worth remembering that sometimes popular things are popular for a reason. Because they're GOOD or because Will Smith is in it."
Originally posted by ZeruelAshton Kutcher, via imdb.com, says that the real on at fault is the picture taker...riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
More because it wasn't one of the cameras Kutcher endorses?
As of 2/28/05: 101 pounds since December 7, 2004 OFFICIAL THREE-MONTH COUNT: 112 pounds on March 9, 2005 OFFICIAL SIX-MONTH COUNT: 142 pounds on June 8, 2005 OFFICIAL ONE YEAR COUNT: 187 pounds on December 7, 2005 As of 2/27/06: 202 pounds "I've lost a heavyweight" As of 7/31/06: 224 pounds As of 12/7/09 (four years out): Still 210 pounds down! Now announcing for NBWA Championship Wrestling! *2008 NBWA Personality of the Year* www.IlliniHQ.com home of DWS Sportsnight PODCASTS, the E-Files and downstate radio home of thecubsfan!
...and the Democrats are still looking for his replacement. Zing! Check out the NYT Obit of Uncle Joe. An excerpt for you: "Stalin took and kept the power in his country through a mixture of character, guile and good luck." Oh yes.