IWS Hardcore Heat Saturday, August 26th, 2006 Bogey's World, Montreal
IWS Owner PCP Crazy F'N Manny named himself the new IWS announcer replacing Brian the Guppie. He brought out Kenny the Bastard and announced that as a result of the two broken ribs and one cracked rib that Kenny suffered during Summer Slaughter after being power-bombed to the outside by Cheech and EXesS in the opening seconds of their three-way dance, Kenny would be on the shelf for at least six months. Manny gave Kenny props for wrestling during the Vans Warped show despite his injuries... but then turned on Kenny for not finishing his match after his injury during Summer Slaughter... and collecting his full pay.
Kevin Steen came out to join Manny and gave Kenny a sickening chair shot to the ribs followed by a disgusting power-bomb. Steen announced that he was going to unmask Kenny, but he was prevented by the arrival of the IWS champion Viking who chased Manny and Kevin Steen from the ring.
After cutting a blistering French promo on Kevin Steen, Viking helped Kenny to the back. Manny tried to get the show started, but was interrupted by the arrival of the Number One Contender to Viking's belt, "Canadian Dynamite" Max Boyer. Manny explained that he was giving Kevin Steen the shot at Viking's title ahead of Boyer, because he had confidence in Kevin Steen being able to beat Viking, but didn't think Max Boyer could do it. Manny handed Boyer the mike to reply, but he chose to make his reply by putting Manny in a submission hold that had Manny tapping furiously. El Generico rushed the ring to save Manny which lead to the first match.
Match #1. Maxime Boyer vs. El Generico Maxime Boyer got the pin after a German Suplex followed by a power-bomb held for the pin after 11:40.
After much teasing El Generico shook Max Boyer's hand much to Manny's disgust. Manny quit as announcer after this match citing a shoulder injury suffered at the hands of Boyer and drafted Joey Soprano to finish the show for him.
Match#2. Kid Kamikaze vs. Stupefied Despite demonstrating some astonishing athleticism in his debut match, Stupefied lost to his craftier, veteran opponent tapping out at 8:50.
After the match, Kid Kamikaze and Fred la Merveille engaged in duelling promos after Kid Kamikaze announced that since he had already won the IWS tag team title and the IWS Canadian title, that his goal was to win the IWS Triple Crown by winning the IWS Title.
When Fred pointed out that he had beaten Kid Kamikaze last year, Double K retorted that Fred hadn't won a match since that match, while he, Kid Kamikaze, hadn't been pinned since. Kid Kamikaze also pointed out that the only belt that Fred has ever had in the IWS was one that he had bought at Toys'R'Us. Fred claimed that in fact that he had beaten Bobby Lashley for the WWE US Title. Kid Kamikaze made his way to the commentary table promising to give detailed commentary on how much Fred sucked.
Match#3. Team Boyer (Fred la Merveille, Shayne Hawke and Jagger W. Bush) vs. Dan Paysan, Twiggy and Porn-Star Juan Dan Paysan, Twiggy and Porn-Star Juan defeated Team Boyer in 16:25.
Dan, Twiggy and Juan took advantage of a verbal spat between Fred and Kid Kamikaze on the outside to ambush and pin Shayne Hawke and Jagger W. Bush.
Match#4. IWS Canadian Title Match "Paranoid" Jake Matthews vs. Player Uno Player Uno defended his IWS Canadian Title with a little help from Jagged on a flash roll-up at 9:15.
Jagged announced that he had helped Player Uno win, because he didn't think that he could beat Jake Matthews but he knew that he could beat Player Uno having beaten him at Summer Slaughter during a three-way dance also featuring "Sweet and Sour" Larry Sweeney.
Jake Matthews manager Joey Soprano sent another member of his stable after Jagged, sicking Jimmy Stone against him. Before the bell even rung, Jimmy Stone had damn near crippled Jagged's left arm with a chair.
Match#5. Jimmy Stone vs. Jagged Despite wrestling with a busted wing, Jagged gritted out a victory giving Jimmy Stone a Gory Guerrero bomb onto a chair slid into the ring by Jimmy Stone's manager Joey Soprano after 9:00.
Match#6. IWS Tag Team Title Match The Missionaries of Violence (Lufisto and Sexxxy Eddy) vs. The Hardcore Ninjaz The Hardcore Ninjaz defended their titles after 17:05 in an all-out war with the CZW Junior Heavyweight Champion Sexxxy Eddy and the CZW Iron... WOMAN Champion Lufisto. The match turned on the second rope breaking during a double Super-plex by the Ninjaz on Sexxxy Eddy about halfway through the match. The Ninjaz were able to adapt to the situation and continue making top-rope moves despite lacking the second rope.
After a brief intermission to switch the ropes, the show continued with top ropes and second ropes but no bottom ropes.
Match#7. Beef Wellington vs. EXesS vs. Franky the Mobster Announced as a one-on-one match, this turned into a three-way dance with the addition of the returning Franky the Mobster. The missing bottom rope nearly had a huge impact on the match as EXesS trapped Beef in his stretch muffler variant and Beef despertely tried to grab the non-existant bottom rope. Beef won the match with a flash roll-up on Franky the Mobster after 6:50.
After the match, Beef announced that he had no intention of ever facing EXesS in a one-on-one match as the fans had no interest in watching Beef wrestle in a submission match and, in any case, EXesS wasn't even as good at submission wrestling as Beef's old partner Kid Kamikaze.
Match#8. IWS Title Match Kevin Steen vs. Viking Viking defended his IWS title after 20:55 in a wild contest that included a barbed-wire bat, barbed-wire boards, thumb-tacks, chairs and Viking diving off a candy machine through Kevin Steen and a table. Steen came agonizingly close to winning the IWS title for the second time getting 2 and 3/4 counts on a Package Pile-Driver and a Steenalizer into some chairs, but Viking, known in the IWS locker room as the toughest son-of-a-bitch in Quebec wrestling, was always able to just kick out.
Judging by previous discussions on this board about late night talk shows, I'm probably one of the only people here who watches Lopez Tonight on a semi-regular basis, but I was surprised no one mentioned last week's deluge of WWE superstars taking part in...