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The W - Guest Columns - Official Results from IWS Season's Beatings
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Since: 2.1.02
From: Montreal, Quebec, CANADA

Since last post: 1868 days
Last activity: 1860 days
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Official Results for IWS Season’s Beatings (December 18th)

IWS Bloodstream for December:
(Worth seeing just for the amazing Pierre Carl Ouellet promo at the end.)

During the traditional IWS Christmas Tree match, Beef Wellington celebrates Hannukah by hitting Shinto worshipper Evil Ninja over the head with a gift-wrapped light tube. (Caught in mid-shatter!)

Quick and Dirty Results

Player Uno beat Dave Trips. 8:44
Fred la Merveille & Viking beat Matt Classic & Tomassino. 16:11
Chikara Six Man Tag: Technicos beat Rudos 14:19
(Gran Akuma pinned Black Jack Marciano with a Code Red after a running palm strike by Mike Quackenbush to the back of Black Jack Marciano’s head)
Evil Ninja beat Beef Wellington in the traditional IWS Christmas Tree match. 10:34
The Triple X “Sex XXXpress” Sexxxy Eddy beat Damian with a Total Sexxxtacy after Damian’s former tag partner Viking attacked him. 12:28
Flying Hurricanes retained their IWS tag team title pinning Sabian with the Unpredictable Motion. 19:16
Franky the Mobster retains his IWS title and beat Pierre Carl Ouellet. 13:32

From the Time Keeper’s Table: Official Report on Season’s Beating’s

This is not an easy report for me to write. The show that we just had on Saturday may well have been the best show that we have ever had, and the worst. It was a night when we made the fans as happy as I have ever seen them, and pissed them off royally. The most promising big man in Quebec was publicly humiliated and fired in the ring, and the best veteran in Quebec snapped. We presented a match that has never been seen in Quebec, and we did a match that we do every year but in a way that it has never been done before. It was a night where we looked to the future, and a night where we returned to our roots, only to find some of those roots had gone dark and twisted.

It’s no secret that the International Wrestling Syndicate is owned by Manny Eleftriou aka PCP Crazy F’N Manny along with his silent partner Danny Cox. What is not so well known is that Manny, my boss, is insane. Every few months or so, Manny goes on an ego trip, and the most dangerous place to be back stage is standing between Manny and a live mike. On Saturday, Manny made one of these unplanned tirades, and nearly started a riot. In the process, five years worth of dirty laundry came spilling out in the middle of the ring.

Just to give a little background, about four months ago, just before our Freedom to Fight show, we worked out a deal with Mike Burns of Smart Mark Video where he would drive down eight hundred miles to Montreal to tape our shows and then drive back eight hundred miles to edit them and release them on VHS within a week and on DVD within two weeks. Obviously, we were thrilled. Now, no one drives eight hundred miles, just for the money they could make off our shows. Clearly, Mike Burns does it because he loves our product. It’s a huge professional compliment. The day that this news was announced was one of the best days that we have ever had, everyone was happy… except for Derek Arsenault.

It is also no great secret, that Derek Arsenault, the IWS video editor is also The Arsenal, an IWS veteran and former IWS champion. I admire Derek a great deal, he is one of the most talented people that I know. (I am actually a distant cousin of Derek’s, my Grand-Mother was an Arsenault from New-Brunswick.) He is also one of the most self-destructive. On the day that we announced that Mike Burns was coming to our shows, Derek went onto the message board run by and posted a rant about how we would not need Smart Mark Video to come down to Montreal, if other people in the IWS would do there job properly. There was a lot of truth in what he posted, but it was a totally inappropriate time and place to post it. I remember reading it with a sinking feeling in my gut, wondering, if I was Mike Burns, why would I even get in the car and make that insane drive to help these ungrateful punks?

That night, Manny woke me up at two o’clock in the morning, ranting. He does that a lot. He told me that he was going to fire Derek before the next show. Take the hi-lite reel from him and throw him out of the building as soon as he walked in. And to my immense regret, I had a chance to argue with Manny and tell him that he was over-reacting that it was just a post on the internet. Instead, I went back to sleep. I probably would not have won the argument, actually scratch that, I never win arguments with Manny. But I would feel better about it, and I apologize publicly to the Arsenal for not standing up for him when I had the chance. I also apologize to the fans for keeping my mouth shut about the whole situation, I was under orders, but that is no excuse. Manny told the entire locker room that what happens in the back, stays in the back and that any wrestler who could not keep his mouth shut or control his friends would be fired like the Arsenal.

Last month, during the main event of Born to Bleed, a six man elimination match for the IWS title, a fan threw a half full pitcher of beer at Kevin Steen. Honestly, I am not sure what was worse, throwing a glass pitcher at Kevin, hitting him in the face with it or spilling the beer. I am not a religious man, but for a Canadian like myself, spilling beer is tantamount to blasphemy. The fan was from Hemmingford and wrestling fans from Hemmingford take wrestling seriously. The fan was also a friend, better make that a follower of Hemmingford’s own Kurt Lauderdale.

On Saturday night, after the IWS tag team match, where the Flying Hurricanes defended their titles pinning Sabian of CZW’s Black Out, Kurt Lauderdale and his tag partner were left in the ring after blowing a chance to win the titles. What we had planned was that we would finally pull the trigger on the break-up between Kid Kamikaze and Kurt Lauderdale. Double K ended up being saved from a beating however when Manny came out with Kurt Lauderdale’s bag.

Brian the Guppie, our ring announcer and a member of the IWS management, tried unsuccessfully to reason with Manny, as he ordered Dylan (Kid Kamikaze) to the back and threw Kurt’s bag at him, firing Kurt in public and having security throw him out of the building. From what I can tell, Kurt got straight into his truck and drove straight to Hemmingford without looking back… and I don’t blame him a bit. Leaving aside the unfairness of firing Kurt for the actions of his friends, firing Kurt is down right stupid. Ever since Kurt got in the ring with Sid Vicious and stared him straight in the eyes, Kurt has been on a roll. It’s as though Kurt realized in that moment just how big he was, and how dangerous he should be in the ring. Publicly humiliating the most promising big man in Quebec, firing him, it is beyond stupid, it is insane.

Manny went on to nearly start a riot, attacking our fans verbally, and blaming them for the fact that where he used to love wrestling, now he hates it. We are so fortunate in the IWS to have these big great hot crowds of knowledgeable fans and here we have the owner of the company attacking them. He even had our DJ, Stab, play the Arsenal’s theme music and then tell them that the Arsenal was fired and was never coming back. It was at this point that the crowd intervened, literally picking up the Arsenal, who was watching the show as a fan and carrying him to the ring. Manny, astonishingly, surrendered the mike to the Arsenal who delivered an emotional promo, attacking Manny for firing him over a post on the internet, after five years of destroying his body for Manny.

It was inevitable that the two men came to blows. The only consolation for me is that the Arsenal really stiffed Manny before Manny’s security grabbed the Arsenal and Manny got some cheap shots in, busting up the Arsenal the hard way, cutting him over his eyebrow. Manny then had the Arsenal thrown out onto the street like Kurt.

This may be the last IWS report that I write. I know that Manny would prefer that the exact details of what was said Saturday be kept under wraps. I overheard a conversation with Mike Burns where he asked Mike to edit out what happened in the ring, but to his credit Mike Burns refused. At this point, the cat is out of the bag and Manny has only himself to blame that what happened back stage has spilled out.

Having spoken to the rest of the IWS management, we are all of us, deeply disturbed by what happened on Saturday. We would like to extend our apologies to the fans, to Kurt and to the Arsenal, as well as to Pierre Carl Ouellet and Franky the Mobster who had the difficult task of saving the show with an amazing main event.

Official Results for Season’s Beatings

The show started with the first IWS dark match, showcasing two young promising Quebec wrestlers, Dave Trips and Player Uno. Despite Dave Trips thuggish behaviour, Uno won over the crowd with his high-flying antics. The eight-bit warrior also won the match pinning Trips with the Game Genie, a rope assisted pile driver after 8:44.

After Blood Stream, Fred La Merveille and Viking were scheduled to face “La Maudit Traitre” Damian along with Matt Classic, but Damian ducked the match telling Fred that he wasn’t big enough for Damian to bother with and sending out Tomassino instead. Tomassino and Matt Classic combined to beat Fred and Viking into a pulp, before Fred rallied and he and Viking pinned matt Classic with “La Tueur des Policiers” after 16:11. After the match, Fred challenged Damian to come to the ring and face him like a man, but Damian refused to come out.

The IWS showcased U.S. promotion Chikara Pro who put on a dazzling six man tag done in the traditional style of a Mexican lucha libre match. Mike Quackenbush was a revelation for Montreal fans, smooth as silk and crisp a new bill. His technico team of Shane Storm and Gran Akuma beat the rudo team of Hallowicked, Ultra Mantis Black and Black Jack Marciano when Gran Akuma pinned Black Jack Marciano with a Code Red after a running palm strike by Mike Quackenbush to the back of Black Jack Marciano’s head after 14:19.

Every year at Christmas, the IWS has a Christmas tree match. Unfortunately, the man who always wrestles in this match, the IWS hardcore hero, the Green Phantom, was unable to compete after fracturing his elbow five months ago during Body Count. Taking his place was Hannukah worshipping Beef Wellington who took on the Evil Ninja who follows the Shinto religion. Despite the lack of connection to the Christmas tree, the two men got into the spirit of the match, beating the living hell out of each other with the tree and with gift-wrapped light tubes. (See Picture Above.) The Evil Ninja emerged triumphant after hitting a Pearl Harbour on Beef through a table while the Ninja’s boss Commissioner Joseph FitzMorris held Beef down. The Evil Ninja rolled Beef in for the pin at 10:34.

The Sultans of Smirk, 2.0, came to the ring dressed as Mr. And Mrs. Claus, and allow me just to say, Jagged has stunning breasts for a man. They announced that 2.0 would be the year of 2.0 and that they would be the new Hardcore Heroes of the IWS, and the new Two Man War. They stopped short of declaring themselves the new Hi-5 however. The two men also entered their name in the hat to take part in the IWS “Fans Bring the Weapons” match scheduled for March 26th at the Medley in downtown Montreal.

Sexxxy Eddy, just back from his tour of Europe, was originally scheduled to face EXesS in a match that wrestling fans have been looking forward to for a long time. But Commissioner Joseph FitzMorris and his Evil Ninja attacked EXesS back stage and the Commissioner sent out Damian in ExesS’ place. The ensuing match pitted the stiffest wrestler in Quebec, Damian against the human rubber ball, Sexxxy Eddy. Throughout the match, Damian escalated the violence, but Eddy managed just barely to avoid the pin, time after time. In the end, Eddy was rescued by Damian’s former tag partner, Viking, who attacked Damian giving Eddy a chance to hit The Total Sexxxtacy for the win after 12:28. Also, of note, before the match Eddy’s sexy valet, D-Vyn turned on him and kneed him in the balls for sleeping around on her.

Former CZW tag team champions the Black Out, Sabian and Ruckus, drove down from Philadelphia to face IWS tag champs, the Flying Hurricanes, Takao and Kenny the Bastard, as well as The Kid Kamikaze Experience featuring Kurt Lauderdale. Black Out and their manager were a little disconcerted about how we do things in Canada, complaining about the lack of ring barriers and the continuous pounding on the ring of the fans. After much stalling, the former CZW tag champs finally got down to business and proved to be a good match for the Flying Hurricanes, with Ruckus being especially impressive in the ring. All three teams had chances to win, but in the end the IWS champions retained their titles with Takao and Kenny the Bastard pinning Sabian with the Unpredictable Motion after 19:16

It was at this point that Manny came to the ring and fired Kurt Lauderdale, which nearly started a riot.

In the main event of Season’s Beatings, the IWS champion, Franky the Mobster faced off against Pierre Carl Ouellet in a match of two of the biggest stars in Canada. The fans were thrilled by the unexpected return of the Green Phantom who acted as guest referee. One man not happy to see the Green Phantom return is PCO, who lost the match after a sit-out power bomb by Franky the Mobster at 13:32. Virtually everyone around the ring other than the Green Phantom insist that PCO had his shoulder up when Phantom counted three. A frustrated PCO attacked the IWS referee and ring crew, as well as IWS Commissioner Seska, leaving the ring filled with unconscious bodies to end the show.

The Internet Wrestling Syndicate presents Praise the Violence, January 15th at Unison Bar et Billiard, 3500 Boulevard Cote Vertu, Montreal, Québec. Doors open at 7:00 PM, IWS Bloodstream begins at 7:30 PM, show starts at 8:00 PM. Tickets are fifteen dollars. For information about the show e-mail or visit the Internet Wresting Syndicate at their web-site: For information about IWS merchandise & DVDs, our wholesale prices or our customer referral program e-mail or order from or from Smart Mark Video:

(To reach Unison on foot, go to metro Cote Vertu and take either the 121 or 177 bus and get off on the corner of Cote Vertu and Beaulac. For those coming to Montreal from outside of town, take Autoroute 13, turn off on the 40 service road to Cote Vertu and take Cote Vertu to Beaulac.)

{EDIT: When you make ME resize your table-breaking images, they inevitably end up REALLY REALLY TINY - just so you know - CRZ }

(edited by CRZ on 22.12.04 1543)

"Don't Blame CANADA, Blame Yourselves!"
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Chapter Twenty: “What Do We Have” -What do we have? I almost have this Grizzly guy tracked down. I have a lead on a bouncer who uses a cane to get around. He’s been arrested for hitting people with it. -We have a murder, a stabbing.
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