International Wrestling Syndicate owner PCP Crazy F’N Manny had a simple plan for the IWS show of the year Un F’N Sanctioned 2007, March 24th at the Medley in downtown Montreal. Pierre Carl Ouellet and NWA World Heavyweight champion, Christian Cage, would team together to teach a lesson to Viking and “Canadian Dynamite” Maxime Boyer. Only three people stood in Manny’s way: Viking, Boyer and to Manny’s shock Christian Cage.
First, Viking ruined Manny’s plans by successfully defending his IWS title against “Paranoid” Jake Matthews in a barbed wire boards match. Manny switched to Plan B: announcing that Viking would have to defend his IWS title at the Medley against hardcore wrestling legend Necro Butcher. Viking accepted the challenge saying that he would prove that French Quebecois could be as hardcore as anyone in the world, and then he told Manny that Boyer had a surprise for him.
Boyer spoke live from the Chikara Trios tournament where Manny had sent him to represent the IWS (and keep him from helping Viking keep his title.) Boyer challenged PCO and Paranoid Jake Matthews to a match at the Medley. When Manny demanded to know who Boyer was going to find to be his tag team partner, Boyer who refers to himself in private as “Le Peep Numero Un de Quebec,” smugly announced that Christian Cage had agreed to be his tag team partner.
Violent Valentine Results Quick and Dirty Saturday, February 17th, 2007 Bogey’s World, Montreal, Quebec, CANADA
IWS Canadian Title Match: Dan Paysan vs. Stupefied Dan Paysan defended his title pinning Stupefied after 8:51 with the Canolli Crusher.
Hi-5 (Kid Kamikaze and Beef Wellington) vs. the Hardcore Ninjaz Hi-5 double pinned the Evil Ninja after 14:00.
EXesS Open Challenge: EXesS vs. Stefany Referee Yan stopped the match due to excessive violence to Stefany after 9:54.
Fred la Merveille and Kenny the Bastard vs. Shayne Hawke and Above Standards (Carl Choquette and Eric Lauze) Fred & Kenny double pinned Choquette and Lauze for the win at 9:54.
Sexxxy Eddy vs. PCO PCO beat Eddy with two Peace-liners after 6:23.
IWS Tag Team Title Match: The Green Phantom vs. the Rock and Cock Express (Twiggy and Pornstar Juan) The Green Phantom pinned both Twiggy and Juan for the win after 6:12.
Barbed Wire Boards - IWS Title Match: Viking vs. Paranoid Jake Matthews Viking defended his IWS title pinning Jake Matthews after 10:28.
Violent Valentine began with Dan Paysan, as Joey Soprano refers to him, “the IWS Italian-Canadian champion,” defending his gold against the 2006 IWS Rookie of the Year, Stupefied. Dan came to the ring draped in gold – he is now the champion of four different promotions. Stupefied did not allow this display to intimidate him however, giving Dan Paysan everything that he could handle, including a breath-taking dive to the outside when Dan had rolled out to catch his breath. In the end, Dan’s experience was just enough to beat Stupefied’s enthusiasm as the Dapper Don won the match with the Canolli Crunch after 8:51. After the match, Dan Paysan vowed to defend his IWS Canadian Title against anyone.
Originally, Hi-5, Beef Wellington and Kid Kamikaze were scheduled to face Team Checkmate, Lionel Knight and Chris Bishop. Unfortunately, Ontario’s top tag team were trapped in a snow-storm and could not make it to Quebec. Beef announced that they had ten seconds to make it to the ring or he would declare the match a count-out victory for Hi-5. With two seconds left, the Hardcore Ninjaz music (and the Hardcore Ninjaz) hit the ring. Despite wanting nothing to do with Beef Wellington, Kid Kamikaze was able to rekindle some of the old Hi-5 tag team magic to win a surprising victory over the Hardcore Ninjaz after 14:00. Give a big assist to the IWS tag team champions, Mean and Green, Dru Onyx and the Green Phantom, who dragged Hardcore Ninja Number one from the ring to the outside and broke him open the hard way while the Evil Ninja was being double-teamed and double-pinned on the inside of the ring.
I should probably also mention that Kid Kamikaze is the early front-runner for the 2007 wrestler with freaky submission moves that not even Mike Quackenbush has names for.
ExesS continued his open challenge series by taking on Quebec joshi Stefany in a match that was a physical display of pure brutality. Stefany has fighting spirit and an admirable sense of technique as on several occasions she was inches away from securing either a guillotine choke or a triangle choke on EXesS. Each time however EXesS was able to grab the ropes and break the hold. After EXesS lowered his knee pads to drop successive swinging double knees into Stefany’s chest, referee Yan stopped the fight at 9:54, judging that Stefany could no longer defend herself. After she was carried to the back, the IWS fans surrounded the ring and pounded the mat chanting her name in respect.
Kenny the Bastard made his triumphant return to the IWS last night, to the delight of the fans, coming to the aid of Fred la Merveille in his handicap match against Shayne Hawke and Above Standards (Carl Choquette and Erc Lauze). Kenny did not miss a step in his return hitting the terrible trio with all the high-flying speed that made him a favourite of the fans in the first place. Much to Shayne Hawke’s disgust, Fred and Kenny were able to double pin Above Standards for the win after 9:54.
After the match, Shayne Hawke challenged Fred to a match, any match, at the Medley. Initially, Fred suggested a No Ropes Barbed Wire Match. Shayne was much relieved when Fred said that he was joking. Instead Fred chose a Quebec Rules match. We have not seen a Quebec Rules match since Fred’s match against Beef Wellington at the 2004 Medley show Know Your Enemies 2004, which included rules against pile drivers and ass punches. We will have to see how Fred will define Quebec Rules this time around.
Personally, I’m campaigning for a no red-heads rule. Maudit Roux.
Sexxxy Eddy came to the ring and complained that IWS management had forgotten to book him for a match at Violent Valentine. After stripping for the mother of IWS super-fan Violent Ray, who had been brought to the show as a Valentine’s Day gift from her son, Eddy somewhat regretted his complaint as IWS management sent out PCO to face Eddy. Using his speed, Eddy was able to keep the match competitive and had a chance to win, stolen from him when Manny’s personal assistant D-Vyne distracted referee Yan. Manny then distracted Eddy long enough for PCO to load up not one but two Peace-liners for the win after 6:23.
Twiggy and Pornstar Juan’s miracle run came to an end against Mean and Green, but not before the Rock and Cock Express came within a heartbeat and a prayer of winning the IWS tag team titles. Dru Onyx and the Green Phantom gave Twiggy and Juan an opening when they announced that they would even up the odds by making the match a handicap match. Onyx said that since he has lost the coin flip in the back, the Green Phantom would defend the belts by himself. Onyx still got involved in the match until Yan had enough and sent Onyx to the back to fan chants of “Racist Ref” The Hardcore Ninjaz also got involved in the match, but the Green Phantom was able to withstand their sneak attack and get the pin on both Twiggy and Juan at 6:12.
After winning the match, the Green Phantom called out the Hardcore Ninjaz who attacked him with burning kendo sticks. My Japanese is a little rusty, but I interpreted that as a challenge for a tag team title match at the Medley. Maybe my Japanese is not so bad, because that is exactly the way that the Green Phantom interpreted it, and he accepted their challenge. We know that their will be no Fans Bring the Weapons match this year at the Medley due to issues with the venue, but maybe we will see a Ninjaz Bring the Weapons match.
In the main event, Viking was able to defend his IWS title despite not knowing that it would be a Barbed-Wire Boards match until the start of the match. Viking took an absolute pounding in the match including being thrown to the outside through a barbed wire board propped on a chair fort, but “Paranoid”: Jake Matthews wasn’t able to put Viking away. When Manny sent PCO into the ring in frustration, the move backfired as Viking ducked the Peace-liner and then pinned Jake Matthews at 10:28, after the two big men collided.
The IWS proudly presents: Un F’N Sanctioned 2007, Saturday, March 24th, 2007, at the beautiful downtown Medley, 1170 St-Denis, near the Berri-UQAM Metro. Montreal, Quebec, CANADA. Doors open at 7:30 pm, show starts at 9 pm. VIP tickets are $30, Regular tickets are $25. VIP ticket holders admitted first. VIP tickets are almost sold out so order them today. No reserved seating. Tickets can be purchased online at http://www.ticketpro.ca or in person at the Medley box office. 18+ Card and times subject to change. For more information go to www.syndicatewrestling.com or e-mail Llakor@hotmail.com .
Un F’N Sanctioned Card to date:
Dan Paysan will defend his IWS Canadian title Battle of 2.0: Jagged vs Shane Matthews Quebec Rules Match: Fred la Merveille vs. Shayne Hawke IWS Tag Team Title match: Mean and Green (Dru Onyx and the Green Phantom) vs. the Hardcore Ninjaz IWS Title match: Viking vs. Necro Butcher NWA World Heavyweight champion Christian Cage and “Canadian Dynamite” Maxime Boyer vs. Pierre Carl Ouellet and “Paranoid” Jake Matthews
Our retarded little step-brother, Inter-Species Wrestling, will be hosting a show called Slamtasia, Saturday, March 3rd, 2007 at Bogey’s World Bar & Billiard, 3250 Cremazie East (corner of Cremazie and St-Michel near the St-Michel metro), Montreal, Quebec, CANADA. Doors open at 7:00pm, show starts at 8:00pm, tickets are $10. No reserved seating. 18+, card and times subject to change. For more information go to www.beyondthebarn.org or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org .
And yet the writers were BAFFLED on what to do with Ultimo Dragon. And they're STILL baffled on what to do with Paul London and Billy Kidman. On the other hand, somewhere out there, Disco Inferno's having himself one big laugh over this.