In front of a crowd of 837 people, the IWS put on what is already being described as a five star show by the fans: Un F’N Sanctioned 2005. We have always recommended Un F’N Sanctioned 2003 as the show that fans should watch first to see what the IWS is all about. Today, we would still recommend Un F’N Sanctioned… Un F’N Sanctioned 2005 that is.
Un F’N Sanctioned Results Quick & Dirty
Kid Kamikaze won the Three-Way Dance over Dan Paysan and El Generico pinning El Generico at 13:59. Double K won with the help of the monstrous Vanessa Kraven who made her IWS debut with a thunderous power bomb on El Generico.
ExesS beat Sexxxy Eddy in 12:34 with the help of the ropes.
Wrestling without his injured partner, Takao, Kenny the Bastard of the Flying Hurricanes successfully defended his IWS tag team titles in a four team scramble match pinning Shane Matthews of 2.0 at 10:18. Marc le Grizzly of le SLI was pinned after 5:05 to eliminate him and Viking after 2.0 hit him with a chain. 2.0 (Shane Matthews and Jagged) then eliminated the Wrecking Crew (Tomassino and Chris Wells) after 8:24 by pinning Tomassino
Returning from an injury, the Green Phantom pinned Chris Hero in 14:42.
A serious Beef Wellington pinned Super Dragon in 13:43.
In a vicious brawl, Damian beat Fred la Merveille in 17:10.
Franky the Mobster successfully defended his IWS title and CZW Ironman title beating Kevin Steen in 19:11, but only with the help of Damian.
D-Vyn beat former IWS president Seska in a lube match in 3:38 with the help of Dan Paysan.
Kurt Lauderdale and the Arsenal beat IWS owner PCP Crazy F’N Manny and the Evil Ninja in a bloody Fans Bring the Weapons match after 20:21.
Detailed Un F’N Sanctioned Results
The show started with a bang or make that an OLE! as El Generico made his return to the IWS after an absence of nearly four months, and after a tour of Europe. He faced Dan Paysan and Kid Kamikaze in a high flying three way dance that many fans are calling the greatest IWS opening match ever. El Generico stood poised to win until the unexpected debut of the monstrous Vanessa Kraven who destroyed Generico with a thunderous power bomb from the Medley stage into the ring. This gave Kid Kamikaze the opportunity to dispatch El Generico with a Shining Wizard at 13:59. It quickly became clear that Vanessa Kraven is the new featured star of the Kid Kamikaze Experience.
(As a side note, I should point out that when I say that Vaness Kraven is a monster, I do not mean to imply that she in unattractive. In fact, Vanessa Kraven is an extraordinarily beautiful woman… who just happens to be 6 feet tall and 200 pounds of hard body; who is rumoured to make grown men cry during practice with her knife-edge chops; who is in better shape than 99% of the men in Quebec, heck Canada and who is not going to hurt me for calling her “monstrous”. Right? Right? Please? Pretty please?)
For nearly two years, wrestling fans have waited for Sexxxy Eddy and EXesS to have a match to see who is truly the best in Quebec. The fans were not disappointed when these two men finally met as the two combined for a high-flying technical show. What was disappointing was that EXesS felt compelled to cheat and use the ropes to get the win after 12:34. What was even more disappointing was that ExesS turned his back on the fans by attacking Eddy after the match.
Three weeks ago at Breakout, Tomassino of the Wrecking Crew tried to choke out Takao of the Flying Hurricanes by tying him to the ring post by his mask. Despite an injured larynx, Takao was planning on gritting out the injury until he woke up the morning of Un F’N Sanctioned having difficulty breathing and swallowing. His doctor forbid Takao from wrestling… which left Kenny the Bastard alone to defend the ‘Canes tag team title against three other teams in a four way scramble match: the Wrecking Crew (Tomassino and Chris Wells), le SLI (Viking and Mark the Grizzly) and 2.0 (Shane Matthews and Jagged).
In a match filled with ironies, while it was 2.0’s first “official” loss in the IWS, it was also their most dominant performance. They eliminated le SLI at 5:05 by pinning Marc le Grizzly (with the help of a chain) and then they eliminated the Wrecking Crew by pinning Tomassino at 8:24 after a double team back breaker and three consecutive Jagged knees to Tomassino’s face. In each case, 2.0 deliberately focused and dispatched the larger member of the team they were facing. Also ironically, despite pinning the two giants involved in the match, 2.0 lost to the smallest wrestler in the scramble: Kenny the Bastard. The Lizard King took advantage of a momentary miscommunication between Jagged and Shane Matthews to pin Matthews at 10:18. No doubt 2.0 are devastated by this lost chance to win IWS gold.
The Green Phantom made a triumphant return from the injured list at Un F’N Sanctioned beating Chris Hero with a Phantasm at 14:42 after a massive brawl. People were not expecting much from this match, expecting ring rust from the Green Phantom or a styles clash, but the only clash that people got was the clash of fore arms and fists. The Green Phantom came looking for a fight and Chris Hero gave him one before the Hardcore Hero of the IWS emerged triumphant.
A serious even grim Beef Wellington faced off against a man reputed to be the stiffest man in California: Pro Wrestling Guerilla champion Super Dragon. In a non-title match, most people thought Beef would be lucky to survive. But Beef matched Super Dragon stiff shot for stiff shot, even throwing away his beloved tassels during the match to show how serious he was. Beef received a thunderous roar of approval after pinning Super Dragon at 13:43.
The bell had not even rung when Fred la Merveille speared Damian out of the ring during his entrance ritual. These two former best friends battled through the crowd of the Medley lacing each other with stiff shots. Damian appeared to be out to cripple Fred at one point giving Fred a double foot stomp from the top rope to the floor where Fred was sandwiched between two ring barriers. After 17:10 of an intense physical contest, Damian finished Fred off with a double knee stomp from the top rope.
Franky the Mobster was brought into the IWS by Kevin Steen. Franky the Mobster got his shot at the CZW Ironman belt, because an injured Kevin Steen suggested that Franky take his place against B-Boy. Instead of gratitude, Kevin received jealousy and paranoia from Franky. This set the stage for their match at Un F’N Sanctioned. Making his return to the IWS after four months and a trip to Japan, Kevin Steen moved with even more confidence in the ring than he showed when the fans gave him his nickname Mr. Wrestling. Kevin seems determined to earn that nickname.
Kevin’s new confidence gave Franky fits. And Kevin Steen would be the IWS champion right now if referee Bakais had not been distracted during a sure three count by the arrival of Damian at ring side. Kevin Steen had just given Franky two consecutive Package Pile-Drivers, knocking Franky loopy. Damian’s arrival saved Franky’s championship and after a top rope foot stomp on Kevin and a vicious corner Ohtani kick, Damian dragged an unconscious Franky over a stunned Kevin Steen for the victory at 19:11. Why Damian attacked Kevin Steen remains to be determined, what is not in doubt is that Kevin is pissed about it.
Like a sorbet to cleanse the palate between two courses, the ladies’ lube match between former IWS President Seska and former Sexxxy Eddy valet D-Vyn was sandwiched between the two main events of Un F’N Sanctioned. IWS commentator, the Renaissance Man Peter LaSalle, the self-proclaimed “Dirtiest Man in the Business” was delighted to be asked by Seska to lube her up while D-Vyn was being lubed her best (girl) friend. Adding to the mayhem was special guest referee Big Larry of T-Unit. The match itself was short but sweet as the two women engaged in a brief and slippery cat-fight before Dan Paysan interfered on behalf of his fellow Italian D-Vyn to give her the pin at 3:38.
For close to six months, IWS owner kept the Arsenal out of the IWS ring, preventing him from doing what he does best – hurting people and smiling about it. On Saturday, during a bloody Fans Bring the Weapons, the Arsenal was smiling as he and his partner, Kurt Lauderdale, used “Weapons of Manny Destruction” to beat their own boss into a concussion and a win after 20:21. The high light of the match was no doubt the stereo balcony dive as a bleeding Arsenal dropped a double knee off the balcony onto Manny through a table while the Evil Ninja dropped an elbow off the balcony onto Kurt Lauderdale and through a table.
With the match over, the victorious Arsenal, crazed by his need for revenge, sent Manny to the hospital by dropping a TV on Manny’s head while his head was being held down on a chair by Kurt Lauderdale.
After the show, walking through glass so thick that it crunched under their feet like a layer of crusty snow on a cold January night, the fans dazed and mostly inebriated staggered out of Le Medley announcing to the world that they had just seen the best IWS show ever.
Un F’N Sanctioned 2005 will be available for sale on VHS and DVD soon from www.smartmarkvideo.com You can already purchase previous IWS shows from there on VHS or DVD.
The IWS is pleased to announce that our next show, Know Your Enemies will be hosted at Bar le Break, 20 Blvd Cremazie, Montreal, Quebec, CANADA, Saturday April 23rd. Doors open at 7:30pm, bell rings at 9:00pm. Tickets are $20 for VIP, $15 for Regular. To purchase tickets in advance e-mail Llakor@hotmail.com. For further information about the IWS, go to our website www.syndicatewrestling.com
The IWS on tour
CZW This Saturday, April 2nd during CZW’s Trifecta Elimination 3…
The Triple X “Sex XXXpress” Sexxxy Eddy is scheduled to face Eddie Kingston while…
Viking, Damian and Dan Paysan are scheduled to face off in a three way dance with the winner meeting the winner of the Chikara three way dance (Jigsaw vs. Hallowicked vs. Joly Roger) and the winner of the IWA-MS three way dance (Brandon Thomaselli vs. Silas Young vs. Josh Abercrombie)
Also rumoured to appear are Beef Wellington and IWS and CZW Ironman champion Franky the Mobster.
Kevin Steen and El Generico are scheduled to appear during PWG’s All-Star Weekend April 1st and 2nd at the Hollywood-Los Feliz JCC Center. On the first nights show, they are scheduled to fight in the main event in a three-way dance with Super Dragon for his PWG title.
El Generico just returned from a whirlwind tour of Europe. On Friday, March 18th for TAP Wrestling in Loughborough, England he defeated El Ligero. On Saturday March 20th for wXw in Essen, Germany he lost to Super Dragon. On Sunday March 21st for IPW:UK in Orpington, Kent, England he teamed with Aviv Mayaan and lost to Super Dragon and Stevie Douglas. El Generico was pinned by Super Dragon at the same time that Aviv Mayaan was pining Stevie Douglas. Aviv Mayaan then faced off against Super Dragon one on one… and lost.
Don't you watch Heat?! No? Um, well, neither do I, but according to a recap I read, Rico beat Tommy on the last Heat to earn a spot in the Rumble. Now feel free to be more disgusted. And awesome Satire as always.