Shitty, half, maybe quarter-assed recap this week. I really wanted to do a full one, but I've got way, way, way too much work on my plate. There probably won't be anything at all from me next week. But I had to put something up this time, for a couple of reasons, which I'll get to momentarily.
The Undisputed Era open the show. "Blah blah blah, we're cool, we're tough, we're badasses." You know the stuff. It's mostly interesting because they start with Cole and work their way down the UE in terms of mic skill - next Fish, then Strong, then Reilly. Anyhoo, it's a setup for Cole to defend his title against Oney Lorcan, so Cole sends his boys to the back. The match is honestly p. good, although both guys could definitely pick it up more. The finish is when Strong and Reilly run out, Reilly to distract and Strong to hit Lorcan with an apron backbreaker. Cole hits the Last Shot for the win. Match Rating: P. Good. After the match, they put a beating on Lorcan, which draws out Burch for assistance. But they are two, and the Era are (at present) three, and the math checks out.
They do some spotlight packages on all the women they've still got in the division. It's a good idea to remind us who's still around.
Heavy Machinery are fighting Sabatelli and Moss, again. I've already wasted my best joke on this. They do the same finish they've already done, where Tino takes a walk in the middle. Match Rating: What-Ever. Afterwards, HM call out the War Raiders, and that name ain't aging any better with the passing weeks.
Aliyah still works here.
Dakota Kai is afraid of Shayna Baszler, apparently because she didn't expect confrontation in this line of work. It's dumb, but it'll still be pretty great when Kai gets it together and kicks Baszler's ass.
We all had some fun last week at Kona Reeve's expense, but my wife nailed it - he's a dollar-store Hiromu. Good effort everyone, but it looks like the lady takes the prize.
Pete Dunne returns next week.
We're supposed to get Gargano/Black next, but Gargano gets jumped by Ciampa on the way down the ramp, in full violation of Wrestling Law. Gargano won a match, you can't fight anymore! This was the primary reason I wanted to put something up this week. Gargano makes a valient effort, but ultimately Ciampa kicks him in the dick and Air Raid Crashes him off the stage and through a table, in a spot designed to mirror his original turn. Gargano gets a full stretcher job, and I legit am not sure where this is going. Triple Threat at Takeover? Some kind of even more gimmicky match where Ciampa can be redeamed? I don't know.
What I do know is that, since we didn't get the match we were promised, Black gets the mic, but is quickly cut off by Eric Young and SAnitY (minus Cross). Since they're leaving, Young needs to do the honors, and this is who he'll be doing them for. The match is, again, p. good, but with the conclusion foregone, there are limits on what it can accomplish. The finish comes when Young tries to get clever, but Black sees him coming and counters with a Black Mass. Afterwards, it's Black Masses all around for Damo and Wolfe as well. Match Rating: See You On Smackdown Live, Boys (Probably/Maybe/We'll See).
Young's farewell was the other reason to put up a thread. Sorry it's bad, and sorry about next week as well. Somewhere in here is going to be a half decent recap, just you wait and see!*
*I do not actually advise waiting and/or seeing on this particular matter.
Funny that you mention him looking like Hiromu Takahashi. I was watching it with a friend, and my wife was in the kitchen. The friend said "His character is a cheap ROck, his looks are a blonde Hiro--" and he gets cut off from a distance "Hey is that the guy with the cat doll you like so much?"
So yeah. Your wife is on the right page. Still not convinced he'll be anything good but we'll see. I am tired of Heavy Machinery. I hope they get destroyed by War Raiders (you're right, the name still sounds crap)
I enjoyed the Ciampa thing again. No clue where they take it next time but a triple threat match sounds like it could be great.
It's a lot easier for me to be positive about SD (except maybe when Taker or Bradshaw are involved) than Raw. Last week's Velocity had a fantastic Knoble/London match that made me giggle like a schoolgirl.