Another long work week gives me approximately 2 hours in which I am allowed to “live”. This “living” I am going to do involves RECAPPING TNA! What a life!
Congratulations to Shooting Star Press writer Bryon Frazier, whose “The Issue And A Reason Why I Miss WCW” has been picked up by 411 wrestling. Get a preview of what to expect by checking out his archives! Go!
I HAVE A BIG IMPORTANT REMINDER FOR YOU!!!!!
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THREE WEEKS AGO: James Storm bumps his head and loses a belt…and likely his mind for awhile.
TONIGHT: Four teams compete to become #1 contenders to the NWA World Tag-Team Titles! One of them will emerge and challenge Simon and Swinger. (And hopefully get the belts off them NOW!)
We are LIVE from the Asylum – and we’ve got a match months in the making! Plus, Piper returns, and some other stuff might happen. Hello MIKE TENAY, hello DON WEST!
3 LIVE KREW vs. MANKIND and KID KASH vs. THE DISCIPLES OF THE NEW CHURCH (with James Mitchell) vs. AMERICA’S MOST WANTED (in a #1 contenders match to the NWA world tag-team titles)
Konnan seeks dogs, BG James is gonna drop a single next week (did he just promise to job to someone?), and Killings says nothing. I smell racism! Man alive – I think this match alone more or less shows how unprepared the tag-team division was for AMW, the only real stars in it, to drop the tag-team belts. What exactly do you DO with AMW from here though? Konnan joins the commentary table. AMW double teams Slash for awhile – with a Russian legsweep getting 2. Swinging neckbreaker and a legdrop gets 2 from Storm. Sinn comes in – applies a Torture Rack, and with the help of Slash, they hit a double team Samoan drop for 2. BG James comes in to steal Sinn’s pinfall – but Sinn breaks that attempt up. The pumphandle is blocked – and Storm hits a superkick! Kash gets the tag in, tries to steal that, but it’s quickly broken up. Another try…and Slash stops that one. Kash sets up BG James on the ropes – and springboards from the OTHER side of the ring, with a somersault legdrop to the groin! It gets 1 before the referee notes Kash’s blatant cheating with legs on the ropes. Kash misses an elbowdrop, and here comes Ron! Axekick from Killings – and James comes back. Kash takes a spinebuster highlighted with a dropkick to the face, and James gets 2 before Sinn saves. Killings gets back in, and Kash flips him off, tagging out to Abyss. In a neat spot, literally EVERYONE comes in to wring Abyss’ arm, one after another. Once they do it, they tag out, and the next guy does it. Abyss gets so discombobulated from the whole affair that Kash slaps him which sets Abyss off and he destroys EVERYONE single handedly – including throwing Storm into Slash and Sinn, getting 3 at once. After clearing the ring of everyone, TWICE, AMW manage to take him out with a double spear! Outside, it takes a double pescado to knock Abyss on his ass. Back in – Kash is trying to powerbomb Killings, but TERRY TAYLOR runs in, lowblows Kash, and Killings gets the pin! (7:20) *** This promotion is booking Abyss SO right at the moment it’s scary. Picture Vader, circa 1992.
Tenay and West hype things and the power goes out in the Asylum. When it comes back on, RODDY PIPER stumbles down to the ring. Tenay celebrates this as a homecoming for Piper after WWE turned their backs on him. “Heard any good Roddy Piper jokes lately?” Are you RELEVANT enough for a joke? Piper says people think he’s crazy. He’s not crazy, just a little unwell. Piper feels this is as real as it gets, but I have NO idea what he’s referring to. Piper starts taking credit for the history of the NWA. He promises never to back down. “I saw the thing on the Internet as you did.” This has to do with drugs or something – when his little boy asked him if he was a drug addict. Piper starts to cry. “I helped build the NWA, I created Wrestlemania! And because of some dumbass shit promoter putting it on the Internet for my family to see, a bunch of garbage, I don’t understand!” Piper claims to want to be part of the NWA, at which point VIC VENOM thankfully interrupts this hypocritical crap. “This is as real as it gets.” Piper wants a piece of Russo right now, just because his name is Vince. Russo says he’s not here to fight – he’s here to discuss the last time they came face to face. Russo says Piper ripped his heart out last time he was out here, bringing up something he knows NOTHING about. (I’ll assume Russo is talking about Piper blaming him for Owen’s death since that’s the only thing that makes a smidgen of sense right now.) Russo says Piper’s only here in TNA because he’s burned every bridge and nobody wants him. Hah! “I don’t give a shit about your 4 children, I hope they starve to death, because I don’t want you here either!” Now RUSSO starts taking credit for creating NWA TNA. “It’s either you or me that’s gonna stay here.” Russo says however, if he goes, Styles goes too. Russo wonders if Piper cares about the NWA…or Piper. Russo slams down his microphone – and takes off.
That hurt my head.
Speaking of crap – here’s a look at the feud Nobody Wants To See! Sonny Siaki and D’Lo Brown don’t like eachother, and fight a lot. Someone care to explain to me HOW it is that Siaki’s even earned a quarter of the push he’s getting?
THE SON (with Trinity) vs. D’LO BROWN (in a casket match)
D’Lo attacks to start. Interesting to note, the casket sits inside the ring as opposed to the outside. Siaki falls in about 10 seconds into the match, D’Lo has about NINE HOURS to close the lid, but Trinity’s standing on the apron and gosh darnit – he just can’t close it as long as she’s there, giving Siaki a chance to throw the lid back at D’Lo’s face. This match just lost about every star it had coming through sheer stupidity. D’Lo dropkicks Siaki, and sets up the casket in the corner. Siaki gets launched into the casket back first. D’Lo charges, but winds up getting hotshotted onto it, denting the top of the cheap plastic. Siaki slams it on D’Lo a couple of times – before ripping the inside stuffing out of it. D’Lo backdrops Siaki and clotheslines him a couple of times. Whip is reversed – D’Lo goes face first into the casket, and Siaki slams the casket on D’Lo’s head a couple of times, driving him into the turnbuckle. D’Lo comes back with a spinebuster on the casket and frogsplashes him. D’Lo goes to put him in the casket, but JAMAL of all people turns up and Samoan drops D’Lo. Jamal goes up and splashes D’Lo, throws him in the casket, and closes the lid. (5:24) DUD
SCOTT HUDSON returns! THE JACKYL stands nearby on a telephone. He finds it ridiculous that Jerry Lynn is getting a World Title shot tonight – and plans on doing something about it. He talks trash about Erik Watts, and before you know it, ERIK WATTS shows up. Funny stuff, as Callis IMMEDIATELY turns to shake Watts’ hand, smiling and calling him “buddy”. Watts says the Jerry Lynn/AJ Styles match is happening whether Callis likes it or not. VINNY RU wanders by and says Styles will take on anyone – and wants a word with Callis elsewhere.
NOSAWA, SUPER CHRIS SABIN, and MICHAEL SHANE vs. (not) DAVID YOUNG, FRANKIE KAZARIAN, and THA JUICE
Which genius named Eric Young “David Young”? I could accept it if, you know, DAVID YOUNG HAD WRESTLED A MATCH IN THE LAST YEAR OR SO IN TNA. Juvi and Michael Shane start. Juvi chops the shit out of him to start, but takes a spinkick. Nosawa comes in, hits the sunset flip WAY too hard, so Juvi rolls right through and dropkicks Nosawa. Eric Young gets dropkicked – and in comes Sabin. Young dropkicks Sabin a couple of times, and tags in Kazarian. They hit a simultaneous legdrop/splash and it gets 2. Shane drags Kazarian out, and throws him into the guardrail. Back in – Sabin hits a springboard 360 elbow, and gets 2. Shane heads in – and hits Kazarian with a top rope neckbreaker! It gets 2. Sabin back in, but Kazarian is ready and kicks him in the face. The heels attempt a triple team. Nosawa and Shane hiptoss Kazarian onto Sabin’s shoulders – but Kazarian follows through the momentum with a rana! Kazarian follows with a springboard back elbow for the other two – and Tha Juicy One is in! Sabin holds him back – Shane and Nosawa charge, and clothesline Sabin by mistake! Juvi follows with a double bulldog, and DDT’s Sabin! Spinning heel kick for Nosawa who rolls out, and Juvi follows with a plancha! Michael Shane is right behind him with a tope con hilo! Eric Young follows with a tope suicida, and Kazarian hits a tope of his own. This leaves Sabin who hits a GREAT looking tope con hilo!!!!! Back in – Juvi and Sabin are all alone. Juvi Driver!!!! Juvi goes for the Firebird Splash, but Michael Shane stops him and Sabin hits the Cradle Shock! Kazarian sneaks in with Wave Of The Future on Sabin – but gets DDTed by Shane before he can follow up. The band is warmed up, but there’s Juvi to pull Shane to the floor. Shane takes a rana into the guardrail – while in the ring Nosawa kicks the crap out of Young. A superkick is blocked, and Young hits a wheelbarrow into a neckbreaker! Sabin hits the ring and plants Young with the belt, Shane sneaks in, 1, 2, 3! (9:13) **1/2 Sabin’s not happy that his pinfall was stolen. Meanwhile, Kazarian’s chatting it up with A REALLY FINE CHICK, and apparently doesn’t care about the loss.
Here’s a Very Special Look at the Christopher Daniels and Jeff Jarrett feud which has gone NOWHERE over the past 2 months or so.
CHRISTOPHER DANIELS is backstage, preaching to a choir. 3 alter boys hold candles – and Daniels orders them to seek out Jeff Jarrett. In 7 days he promises metamorphosis. These alter boys are apparently his “minions”.
TRIPLE J hits the ring. He has 3 points to make. “Erik Watts, where’s my title shot at? I want my damn rematch, and I want it now.” Point #2, he sides with Roddy Piper because Piper cares about the business. Point #3, tonight Jarrett’s the hunter and Daniels is the hunted.
MAD MIKEY gets to speak with SCOTT HUDSON. His shirt is cool – taking the Fed Ex logo and turning it into Fed Up. Mikey’s pissed that his partner would rather play with a remote control inflatable doll than prepare for a match with the champions. Mikey destroys the toy, and Shark Boy looks sad.
DIAMOND and SWINGER (with The Manager Of Champions) vs. SHARK BOY and MAD MIKEY (in a non-title match)
Swinger and Mikey start. Mikey hits a flapjack, drags him to the corner, walks the bottom rope known as “Pre-School”, and tags in Shark Boy. Missile dropkick connects, but Swinger hits some snake eyes. Diamond comes in and takes a Sharkacanrana. Mikey comes in – and they go to drop elbows but Shark Boy needs to do the Big Wiggle first. Mikey yells at him, and now they hit the elbows. It gets 2. Diamond hits a superkick for 2. Sidewalk slam/Deathdrop gets 2.
THIS JUST IN: TRIPLE J is walking around backstage, with SCOTT HUDSON.
Shark Boy hits dropkicks all around, and a face buster for Swinger. Atomic drop stops Diamond in his tracks – and he gets thrown out to the floor. This has been a full out squash by the JOBBER COMEDY TEAM. Swinger gets his face bitten by Shark boy and hits the Deep Sea Drop!!! 1, 2, Gilberti puts the foot of Swinger on the ropes. Mikey goes over to deal with Gilberti while the champs FINALLY hit a move…the Problem Solver. 1, 2, 3. (4:55) * Look – I don’t want Diamond and Swinger as champs, I think I’ve made that pretty clear. That said, if the company is going to push them all the way to belts and put them over the hottest indy tag-team in years, then TRY to keep them strong, mkay? This match helped absolutely no one.
Backstage, TRIPLE J beats up THE MINIONIONS. I guess we ARE getting close to Thanksgiving. Jarrett throws one of them over the upper staging through a table down below.
Here’s a look back at the Jerry Lynn/AJ Styles feud. Lynn remembers pinning Styles on 3 separate occasions. Lynn meanwhile claims this to be his first NWA World Title shot which is a blatant lie according to my complete NWA TNA World Title history.
TALE OF THE TAPE
Jerry Lynn Styles 5'10" Height 5'11" 210 Weight 215 15 Years Pro 4
- Watts grants Lynn title shot - First match since November for TNA’s feud of 2002 - Experience edge vs. Russo factor
JERRY LYNN vs. THE CHAMP (with Trinity) (for the NWA World Heavyweight Title)
JEREMY BUFFER does the usual. RUDY CHARLES gets booed out of the building for some reason. They shove eachother for awhile before Lynn bitchslaps Styles. Nose to nose, and Lynn clotheslines Styles. Lynn kicks at Styles and monkey flips him into the turnbuckle. That’s followed by a backbreaker for 2. Hotshot onto the ropes – and it’s followed by a springboard dropkick that sends Styles to the floor! Lynn whips Styles into the guardrail – but Styles instead slides under it. Lynn seems to turn his attention to Trinity – but the second Styles attacks he winds up taking a gutbuster. A cradle piledriver is setup, but Trinity breaks it up, and Lynn winds up launched into the stairs via catapult. Lynn blades (eh, why not?) – and back in Styles covers for 2. Styles heads up, but a tornado DDT is blocked, and Styles winds up thrown into the top turnbuckle. A backdrop hits, and a neckbreaker follows. I’m getting REAL tired of neckbreakers actually, as they’re quickly becoming TNA’s version of the spinebuster. TKO gets 2. Running Liger Bomb(!!!!) gets 2! Styles reverses a piledriver into a double leg slam – and follows with a brainbuster for 2. Trinity rolls a chair into the ring while Styles sets up the Styles Clash. Suddenly, Lynn stands while in the hold and hits an INVERTED VERTAEBREAKER! Wipe Styles off the mat – he’s dead! 1, 2, the referee gets pulled out by Trinity. That gives Styles a chance to hit a lowblow followed by reverse DDT on the chair for…2? Trinity has a fit. Styles Clash is next, 1, 2, 3. (9:05) **1/4 That’s about as clean as you’ll get these days so I’ll take it.
VINCE RUSSO comes out during the celebration and wants an answer about who’s leaving – Piper or him? However, we don’t get Don Callis – but rather DUSTY RHODES! I thought that music was a little too honky for big Don. Styles wields a baseball bat. Dusty tells Styles he’s got a choice – he can leave TNA or not, but that decision is NOT Vince Russo’s. The lisp is NOT here tonight – which sounds kinda weird. Dusty must be sick. Rhodes wants to know if Styles smells desire burning when he gets up in the morning? Rhodes brings up the Pay Winda’!!!! Dusty suggests Styles dump Russo because his cheques are dwindling as a result of Russo taking a cut of his pay. Styles gives Dusty the baseball bat…and then attacks him anyway. Together they beat the crap out of the Dweem before RODDY PIPER comes to hit the ring. RED SHIRT SECURITY stops him in his tracks and drag Piper out. And finally, when things look their worst for big Dust… TRIPLE J arrives to save the day. Minutes later, a blind man saw, a dumb man spoke, and Dusty Rhodes walked again!
NEXT WEEK: 3 Live Krew vs. Diamond and Swinger – and 3 Live Krew will debut a new single, Kid Kash will face Terry Taylor, and…SOMETHING’S GOING ON IN THE BACK!
THE JACKYL decides Roddy Piper is gone! See ya!
The feud between Raven and Shane Douglas has been excellent…despite me not actively WANTING to enjoy it – so huge kudos to the company for that. It’s been ALL Raven. Here’s some highlights proving just that! The guy who dresses in white is prominently featured which means I guess they’ve once again decided to run with the mystery guy after forgetting about him for over a month now.
In the back, JAMES MITCHELL and MY LEAST FAVORITE WRESTLER get in their last second words. Mitchell wonders how anyone can be a Messiah when their peers do not respect him because the Messiah is bald and ugly. “How can a Raven fly once he’s lost his plumage?”
SHANE DOUGLAS (with James Mitchell) vs. RAVEN (in a hair vs. hair match)
Douglas tries to intimidate Raven with talk – but fails, and bails when Raven attacks. That eats up the first 2 minutes. They lock up at 2:14, and Raven takes him down with a right. They lockup again and fight to the floor. Raven throws Douglas into the guardrail and follows with a forearm. Raven throws Douglas around in the crowd. Chairshot to the face! A lucky fan gets to hold a chair while Raven throws Douglas into the chair. Raven takes a full Rubbermaid garbage can next and attacks with that. Douglas is thrown face first to the guardrail and then into another chair. Back to the ring they go and Raven hooks a cobra clutch! Evenflow is blocked – and Douglas hits a drop toe hold that sends Raven flying through the middle rope to the floor. So back to ringside we go! Raven recovers and hits a Russian legsweep into the guardrail and then sends him headfirst into the steps. The bird is flipped – Douglas charges, and Raven smartly ducks allowing Douglas to hit the ringsteps. Douglas bleeds – and considers grabbing the scissors to attack Raven, but actually reconsiders. Instead, he just plants Raven face first in the steps. Raven follows down the path of blood – and Douglas punches away at the wound opening it up even more. Neck snap – shades of Curt Hennig from Douglas…assuming nobody liked Hennig. Douglas with an abdominal stretch – but Raven escapes it. Douglas re-applies, and gets hiptosssed. Raven tries one of his own – but winds up hiptossed OVER the top rope and hits the apron on the way down. Yowwch! Douglas chokes out Raven by the ropes….and horks a little. Ew. Raven keeps the attack on and Douglas throws up full blown. That’s extremely gross and was a little unexpected. (And for those of you who are bound to ask – no, it was not a work like when Booker T spewed on Michael Cole.) Douglas gets a chain – nails Raven who falls into the puke (EW!), and gets 2! Raven makes a superhuman comeback and hits the drop toe hold onto a chair he’d set up right before being decked with the chain, covers…for 2! Bulldog on the chair – another cover…for another 2! Raven hits a superkick that drops Douglas! 1, 2, and the referee gets pulled out by SLASH. They’ve already DONE that finish tonight. West: “I’m so tired of this!” Raven hits a bulldog out of the corner, but bumps the ref on the way so now we’ve got a ref bump as well. SINN heads down and superkicks Raven – allowing he and Slash to stomp away. WHAT IS THE POINT, I COULD HAVE SWORN THIS WAS NO DQ ANYWAYS! They get 2 tables – and at this point CM PUNK and JULIO DENIRO rush the ring to chase off the New Church. Douglas sets up a table, but Raven hits an Evenflow!!!! 1, 2, Douglas actually kicks out. FUCK! They fight to the top – Raven tries a superplex, but Douglas shoves him off and through the table. He covers…1, 2, Raven kicks out!!!!!!! Douglas gets the other table set up, and puts Raven on it! Raven recovers as Douglas heads to the top and hits a SUPER EVENFLOW THROUGH THE TABLE!!!!!! 1, 2, THE GODDAMN LIGHTS GO OUT! What is this shit? The lights come on – and THAT KLAN GUY is in the ring. The hood comes off…and oh shit, it’s MY SECOND LEAST FAVORITE WRESTLER. Don’t even get me started on this guy… DDT connects, Douglas covers, 1, 2, 3. (16:59) **3/4
Mitchell grabs the clippers – and Douglas gloats. “How do you like your hero now?” Raven wilfully takes a seat and Mitchell goes to school, cutting the shit out of Raven’s head. I’m not talking a few nics and scratches – his WHOLE FUCKING HEAD is bloody as hell. Raven takes it like a man. Tenay starts cursing like never before – and West throws down his headset and walks off while Raven’s forced to watch his hair leave his head.
Someone tell Mitchell to learn how to use the fucking clippers before cutting someone’s hair. If I’m Raven, I kill him backstage.
So I’ve got Douglas AND Vampiro now huh?
EDIT: Here's a picture of Raven's head... Credit to NWATNA.com. Nasty stuff.
I've never liked Vampiro's character. He has no charisma, and is incredibly overrated as a worker. But that was just how I felt at the start, whatever. Could have been WCW's booking system at the time. I'm thinking early 1999 here.
What REALLY got me was how lazy he really is. I kept hearing people state he should be pushed, but I NEVER SAW A SINGLE REASON the guy deserved to be pushed over 100 other guys on WCW's roster. He started dogging it and it was obvious.
You're entitled to dog it, but when you start lashing out against the public about your lack of push etc. you might want to turn around and consider your piss poor work ethic and attitude. But that never phazed Vamp. He'd go on WCW Live and go on a tyrade until he felt better. I think he quit 5 or 6 times and I kept hoping he'd stick to it...
Not to mention, every single time the guy has been stuck in a feud - bad things have come. I'd rather watch the Harris Brothers wrestle than face what this guy brings.
Classic Vampiro moments include:
- Introducing a watered down ICP to WCW. - Trying to start a feud with Evan Karagias and Scotty Riggs in one night (come on now!) - Introducing Jerry Only and the Misfits into a feud with Berlyn and The Wall. - His feud with David Flair, nearly burying the already unover team of Flair and the charismatic and 5000x more talented Crowbar. - His stupid feud with Sting - His stupid tag-team with Muta - Being a part of Halloween Havoc 2000.
No good has EVER come out of having Vampiro around. At least for me personally.
I'll give him an out.... The booking has not been kind to him. But tell me he didn't have a SMALL hand in some of this? Some people can take crap and turn it into something cool. Tell a guy "here's your gimmick - you're insane" and you can get Kevin Sullivan...or you can get Mankind. Tell someone to be a rapper and you can get K-Kwik or John Cena. It's all a matter of taking what's dealt and finding a positive.
I don't actively dislike a lot of people. I rag on Jarrett a lot, but I don't dislike him... I just dislike the way he's booking himself. He's a helluva worker (though sometimes I may forget that). As long as you're TRYING, I'm happy.
Vampiro's NEVER done anything positive, and he's not a good worker.
Douglas edges him out...but barely. He's been trying lately and I've eased up a bit. Vamp may be a walk out away from topping it.
Good evening ladies and gentlemen, this are Ortega and the Lines for Thursday's SmackDown are up for viewing. SmackDown Lines: January 12, 2004 And of course, for all readers, the Lines decoder is always here for your enlightenment.