More Nitro is going to be temporarily delayed I’m afraid… I’m missing my tape that holds the November 13 – January 8 editions, and until it comes up, I’m going to have to stop since I WOULD like to do everything in order. In the meantime, I’ll chug along with TNA, and perhaps fill some of the TNA holes in my archive. (Since I’ve got approximately FIFTY holes.)
Also of note, I did order the new TNA DVDs which I’ll certainly review the second they come in…
STU HART, 1915-2003
ROAD WARRIOR HAWK/MIKE HEGSTRAND, 1958-2003
That’s a depressing way to start.
LAST WEEK: Raven beats up James Mitchell, and Mitchell’s goons beat up Raven… AJ Styles wants Russo to keep the stupidity to a minimum… Hulk Hogan takes a Jeff Jarrett guitar to the cranium overseas, and Jeff Jarrett explains himself… Vince Russo keeps the stupidity to a maximum a gets taken out in an ambulance… AJ Styles and Jeff Jarrett close the show in a brawl…
TONIGHT: Jeff Jarrett, AJ Styles, for the NWA World Heavyweight Title.
THE SON, EKMO, and LEGEND (with Trinity) vs. 3 LIVE KRU (with catchphrases)
Siaki and Killings to start, to a “TRUTH” chant. Siaiki hits a shoulderblock, but Killings comes back with a flying elbow and hiptoss. In comes Legend, meeting a drop toe hold. Konnan enters and gets his ass kicked. BEST MATCH EVER! Stupid Konnan comes back with an X-Factor for 2. Killings and Konnan do their Wazzup Drop on Legend. Legend’s had enough, and tags in Ekmo. Killings is caught in a T-bone style suplex, but turns in midair enough to hit a headscissors takeover!!! AND EKMO KIPS UP! Running clotheslines from Ekmo hit – as does Uncle Slam. Legend comes in to sneak in a 2. Legend hits some running kneelifts, gets 2, and turns back to Ekmo. Ekmo tries an avalanche – but misses and hits the shoulder post HARD! Killings gets out and tags in (ew) Jizzle. He’s a house on fire, taking everyone out with rights. Rolling Thunder clothesline from Konnan on Legend. Killings manages to rana Ekmo out of the ring, over the top, leaving James and Siaki alone! Northern lights suplex – and Trinity goes up! James dodges, and Siaki takes the missile dropkick! James hits a pumphandle and scores the pin! (5:47) *1/2 Fun little opener!
Why hello MIKE TENAY and DON WEST! We’re live, as usual, in the Asylum. Tenay notes Russo hasn’t spoken to AJ Styles in a week. Also, he’ll make sure to tie up some loose ends involving Hulk Hogan and Bound For Glory. But for now….
We head to the back where SCOTT HUDSON is running around, looking for TRIPLE J, whom he finds in short order. Jarrett says for 4 months Vince Russo’s been in his way of the belt, so he took him out. He doesn’t care if anyone shows up tonight, he’s taking ‘em all out. DUSTY RHODES waddles into the scene and talks excitement! Dusty says he knows what it is to strap the belt around his waist, and will watch Jarrett’s back. Jarrett says to forget it – because he’s watching Dusty’s back, and everyone’s back. Dusty: “I just want to bring up one thing…when you called me a self-serving sonofabitch. Well let me tell ya something. It takes one self-serving sonofabitch to know one.”
Here’s a look back at Abyss killing Kid Kash for our amusement.
KID KASH vs. SONJAY DUTT
They trade hammerlocks – and Dutt works some hiptosses. Kash misses a standing somersault legdrop, and gets tripped up when he stands. Dutt offers a hand of friendship with perhaps the single greatest over the top dramatic babyface grin the whole time! And it works with this guy for some reason. Kash slaps him instead. Dutt makes with the angry faces and slaps Kash back. He lands on his feet in an attempted hiptoss, and winds up hiptossing Kash instead. That’s followed by a monkey flip and dropkick. Kash rolls out, having had enough, so Dutt springboards off the top and hits a corkscrew plancha! Kash comes back by delivering a jawbreaker over the top rope, and the springboards his way back in with a bodypress for 2. Kash slaps Dutt in the Mexican surfboard, before dropping the hold and chopping away. Kash hits a scoop slam, and heads to the top. Froggy Splash MISSES – and Dutt fires back. Springboard back elbow hits the target, as does a reverse tornado DDT for 2!!! Dutt trips Kash up for another 2. Kash goes up, but gets caught – and Dutt mounts his target. Kash uses a lowblow to stop him dead and FUCKING KILLS HIM WITH THE JUVI DRIVER!!!! 1, 2, 3! (4:42) **1/4 Kash makes Insane Faces and stomps on Dutt to some decent heel heat. MANKIND slowly wanders down to the ring and pounds away. Kash begs for mercy before running away. Dutt uses Abyss to get back to his feet and applauds Abyss, before hugging him! He offers Abyss the hand, so Abyss, confused, gives him a Black Hole!!! Abyss runs away, unsure how to cope with all this.
SCOTT HUDSON has burst in on NOT S.E.X. They’re pounding on the locker room of AJ Styles. Siaki says it’s important to make sure the title is properly defended as Russo’s not here. Trinity helpfully adds “that’s right!”
TAG LINES - Doring & Roadkill non-title win - AMW cost Diamond & Swinger - ECW rivalry renewed in NWA
DANNY DORING and ROADKILL vs. DIAMOND and SWINGER (with the Midnight Cowboy and The Real David Young) (for the NWA world tag-team titles)
Gilberti carries a tennis racket now – not unlike a stereotypical 80’s manager that he has claimed not to be. Gilberti defends it by stating it says “NWA” on the side, and he’s only proud of his company. Swinger and Roadkill start. Roadkill hits a powerslam and follows with an elbowdrop from the middle rope. Diamond comes in and gets powerslammed as well, and Doring hits a legdrop off the top for 2. In the back – AMERICA’S MOST WANTED watch the TV. On the floor, Swinger sends Doring into the ringsteps, rolls him in and Diamond gets 1. Swinger hits a clothesline for 2. Swinger applies a Boston crab, and Diamond drops a leg for 2. They pound on the back of Doring and hit a double team Russian legsweep for 2. Doring is thrown face first to the top turnbuckle as the beating continues. Doring tries to battle back, but Diamond rakes the eyes. Doring comes back with a clothesline and tags in Roadkill. He’s a barn o’ fire!!! Everyone gets clotheslines before Roadkill misses an avalanche. He still manages to hit the dual clotheslines – and both guys scoot in for covers, 1, 2, double kickout! David Young throws the a title belt into Swinger – and then distracts the referee allowing Swinger to get in a shot on Roadkill. Roadkill manages to kick out at 2! Swinger pulls out his hair and hits the Dirt Road Slam! Doring uses Roadkill as a springboard and hits a plancha on Gilberti and Young! Diamond takes a Dirt Road Slam, and Roadkill goes up! He misses the big splash and the champs hit the Problem Solver for the CLEAN win. (6:58) **3/4
THE FOLLOWING MESSAGE HAS BEEN PAID FOR BY THE FRANCHISE SHANE DOUGLAS
Douglas is between a couple of hot racks – and says he really loves his job. He says he enjoys what he sees, and loves what these ladies bring to the table. Next week, he’s going to reveal the new Franchise. If he does right tonight, the Franchise team could include him. We see a handshake, but no body. He’s white, which would suggest it’s not Ron Killings.
X FACTORS - Opportunistic Shane on a roll - Sabin and Daniels double the challenge - 3 way takes away champion’s edge
CHRISTOPHER DANIELS vs. CHRIS SABIN vs. SUPER MICHAEL SHANE (for the NWA X title)
Michael Shane comes out using Shane Douglas’ music, basically confirming that he will NOT be the new Franchise, because SWERVEZ = $$$$! Shane offers the double hand of friendship and gets the crap kicked out of him. Double backdrop – and the boys take turns getting their shots in. Daniels cracks first, belting Sabin in the back. Sabin counters with a rana, and turns back to Shane. Avalanche from Daniels hits Shane, and Sabin hits Daniels with a spinning heel kick. Shane tries to escape, but Sabin yanks him back in and knocks him down with a right. Same goes for Daniels. Running kneelift to Shane is followed by a Northern lights with a bridge for 1 before Daniels baseball slide dropkicks the knees of Sabin. Backstage, THE CHAMP rocks back and forth, preparing for his title match. Overhead t-bone suplex from Daniels on Sabin gets 2! SHANE DOUGLAS is on the stage, rubbing his chin. Michael Shane dumps Daniels over the top, but he’s back on the apron shortly and puts a sleeper on Sabin. Shane charges, Sabin sidesteps, and Shane knocks Daniels back off the apron again. Shane follows with a hairpull on Sabin – and knocks Daniels off the apron for a third time to continue his assault. Sabin knocks Shane to the apron, and hits a springboard dropkick sending him to the floor! Sabin gets ready to fly – but Daniels scoots into the ring and catches him in mid-move with a Blue Thunder bomb! In control, he hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker followed by an inverted forward Russian legsweep (yeah, you read that right) for 2. Daniels is desperate and keeps trying, getting 2 more 2 counts. Daniels drops a knee a couple of times across the back of Sabin, and hits a moonsault on the back and follows with a crossface! Shane tries to get in, and Daniels knocks him down. Daniels hits a double Scorpion Death Drop, tries a pin on both guys and gets a couple of 2 counts. Daniels goes to the top rope, but gets caught off by Shane. Shane is shoved off, but Sabin’s right behind him and tries to suplex Daniels in. They fight over the suplexes – but Shane gets in there and stops the whole thing, helping Sabin hit a suplexplex! Everyone’s dead. Sabin cleans house with chops on everyone. Daniels takes an enzuigiri, as does Shane! Over the shoulder Roll Of The Dice by Sabin gets 2!!! I have no idea how he even did that. Even after seeing it visually, I can’t figure out the physics. Shane hits a scoop slam on Sabin, and tries a tornado DDT on Daniels which is blocked and turned into a uranage. Daniels tries his double spring moonsault – but Shane scoots out, so Daniels hits the tope con hilo instead!!! He goes for the Angels Wings – but Sabin dives off the top with a monster plancha! SWEET CHIN MUSIC out of nowhere on Daniels from Shane! Daniels gets in slowly, and Sabin hits Cradle Shock for 2 – before Shane pulls the referee out! Sabin pulls Shane back in by the hair, and rolls him up for 2. SPRINGBOARD DDT gets a 2!!!!! Jesus they’re moving fast now… Shane escapes the Cradle Shock – and hits SWEET CHIN MUSIC out of NOWHERE! 1, 2, 3!!!! (10:12) ***3/4 Fuck the whole lot of you who say that Michael Shane doesn’t deserve the belt – that match RULED all. And the clean wins continue to pile up tonight, I’m *really* impressed.
THE LOUNGE SINGER and SLASH are in the back. Mitchell says he’s tired of being afraid of a paranoid schizophrenic kicking down his door and killing him. Mitchell says Raven’s caused him more pain and agony than anyone should have to endure – and will send him to hell. “Slash will ensure your thirst for vengeance will go unquenched.”
MIKE TENAY promises to address rumors surrounding TNA. And who better to tie up the loose ends than the World’s Most Irritating Voice – JIMMY HART. And well heck, they’ve still got American Made sitting around on an old cassette and fire that baby up! If you mess with the flag it’s like a slap in his face. The fans give him mild applause, and Jimmy acts humbled. Jimmy says there were a lot of Hulkamaniacs sitting in the airport this afternoon waiting for him. He told them all to tune in at 7:00 for news on Hulk Hogan, on the PPV. He’s got a bag open – and a cat runs out. Hart says TNA’s got the best young talent in the business, and it’s impressed Hulk Hogan. As a result, Hogan’s been negotiating with TNA. In fact, he’s signed with TNA. The crowd pops huge for that! Now, about Jeff Jarrett – when he busted Hogan over the head with the guitar, Hogan also hurt his knee. So as a result, the pay-per-view has been rescheduled until Hogan’s up and running again – but Bound For Glory WILL happen. I swear to god, if Randy Savage comes down to ringside right now and accuses Hogan of faking the knee injury and tells him to “BE A MAN!” I will cheer like I never have before! There is one thing that Jimmy wants to touch on however…why is it that 3 years ago in WCW, did Jeff Jarrett lie down when he had a chance to face Hulk Hogan? Hart says nobody could beat him for the title – but why did he avoid taking on Hogan? “Why Jeff, why???” TRIPLE J comes out to offer an answer I’m sure. Jarrett tells him to NEVER bring the incident up again. Jimmy starts a “WHY?” chant, which seems to be our second instalment in the “5 W’s” chants. “WHAT?” is still hot in WWE so they don’t need a new one. MLW fans starting this week could always chant “WHERE?” Jarrett tells Hart he’s going to tell him one time, and one time only. Jarrett: “The reason is…” *WHAM* Jarrett belts Hart and rips off his shirt. Jarrett uses his athletic tape to tie Hart to the ring ropes, takes off his belt, and starts whipping Jimmy! “COME ON HULK HOGAN! JIMMY HART, TELL HIM WHO THE MAN IS!” Jimmy: “Hulk’s the man.” *WHIP, WHIP, WHIP!* Hah! Hart’s back is about 900 shades of red. THE CHAMP hits the ring to chase away Jarrett, and it works as Jarrett gets the hell out of Dodge.
DIAMOND and SWINGER and with SCOTT HUDSON, celebrating another win – alongside THE MIDNIGHT COWBOY and THE REAL DAVID YOUNG. Gilberti tells them to go back to the hotel, because they’ve got some Oriental Spa masseuses waiting for them. At this point, Gilberti welcomes A COUPLE OF YOUNG GUYS to take out AMW. I guess this is the mystery team? I have no idea who the hell they are…
SLASH (with The Lounge Singer) vs. RAVEN (in a dog collar match)
Well, it’s a long dog collar, I’ll give it that… Raven pulls Slash right to him, and tries an Evenflow, but Slash rolls out. Raven pulls the chain to send Slash head first to the ring post twice. Raven gets in some shots, and Slash is bleeding ALREADY. Mitchell nails Raven on the outside of the ring, and gives Slash a chance to come back, which he does with a couple of shots, then yanks the chain right down to send Raven face first to the steps. Slash wraps the chain around the neck of Raven and drives him to the mat for 2. Raven rolls out – so Slash walks through the middle rope, pulls the chain, and hangs Raven. Raven smartly just climbs into the ring, so Slash enters on the other side – and Raven pulls on the chain to send Slash over and over to the top turnbuckle! Raven starts pulling Slash all over the place – and gets him in, going for the Evenflow – but Slash turns it around and hits a DVD for 2!!! Slash gives the international sign of the piledriver, which he can’t because Raven floats over the top, so Slash hits a neckbreaker instead for 2. Raven recovers, hits the Evenflow on the chain, and gets 3! (4:26) *1/4 Raven then hangs Slash over the top rope – so Mitchell gets in to break it up. Raven immediately rips off the collar – and puts a cobra clutch on Mitchell!!! MY LEAST FAVORITE WRESTLER (hey look – Shane Douglas has officially been replaced!) hits the ring and kicks at Raven. Raven hammers in a bunch of punches, which Vampiro no-sells because he’s JUST THAT BIG A STAR. Worthless shit. He blows green mist at Raven, but Raven still manages to hit a superkick while blinded. Mitchell chokes him out with the cane while Vampiro kicks away before THE GATHERING hits the ring to chase them away. Raven wants to know why they helped him when he told them not to… Julio and Punk apologize, but Raven’s really not happy and walks away.
THE JACKYL and RED SHIRT SECURITY are just standing around when SCOTT HUDSON happens by. Callis says he’s been part of the biggest negotiations in TNA history with Hulk Hogan, and promises the PPV will happen as soon as possible. Also – Erik Watts has been stating Roddy Piper is welcome back, but Callis squashes those rumors. He says no degenerate drunks in kilts will be running around. Hudson chews him out for chasing away some of the stars – but Callis asks if we really miss D’Lo Brown? Hudson says he does, so Callis offers a D’Lo Brown bobblehead doll. If he wants one, he can hit the website like everyone else tomorrow morning and get one. Oh, and with Goldilocks back, Hudson can thank his lucky stars he still has a job… Hudson makes faces.
THE NATURALS (with The Midnight Cowboy and The Real David Young) vs. AMERICA’S MOST WANTED
Who the fuck are the Naturals? Well, Mike Tenay tells us Andy Douglas and Chase Stevens have been playing around on Xplosion. The name “Chase Stevens” rings a bell for some reason… Maybe with the Hot Shots? My memory is shot – and until I go back and actually recap those old shows I won’t have a clue. AMW rushes ringside and attacks immediately. Everyone brawls on the outside, with The Naturals getting the advantage. And Tenay immediately validates me – by stating Chase Stevens was a member of the Hot Shots. Hey, so I’m not completely forgetful! I couldn’t tell you the name of his partner though… He looks less like a third man for the Lenny and Bruce tag-team these days, and more like An Indy Wrestler. Douglas and Storm start – and Storm gets tossed right away. Gilberti pulls away the mats to expose the concrete and Stevens hiptosses him onto it. Back in, both guys double team Storm, and Stevens hits a snap suplex. Stevens hits a double axehandle from the top for 2. In comes Douglas who comes off the top, and Storm gives him a shot to the midsection. Stevens smartly knocks Harris off the apron before Storm can get a tag. Stevens goes up and misses a moonsault! He grabs the foot of Storm to cut off the ring – but Storm gives him an enzuigiri and we have a hot tag after 3:02 of gruelling action!!! Harris has shots for everyone and hits a full nelson slam on Stevens for 2! Storm knocks Douglas outside, and AMW hit a double team clothesline/spinebuster for 2! Stevens takes Harris outside and whips him into the guardrail. Inside the ring – Douglas takes an 8 Second Ride, but the referee is talking CFL football with Glen Gilberti and can’t count. Stevens nails Storm in the head with a chain – Douglas covers…for 2! Chris Harris goes to suplex Stevens from the apron and back in, but Gilberti grabs a leg, and trips Harris up allowing Stevens to fall on top for 3??? (5:08) Fuck you Glen! ERIK WATTS and GOLDILOCKS saunter down and demands we restart the match. Harris SPEARS Douglas! Behind the referee’s back, Stevens gets tossed the tennis racket and nails Harris! He’s about to cover, but takes a superkick from Storm! 1, 2, Gilberti pulls Storm outside. Go the fuck away Glen! Harris hits a crossbody off the top onto Stevens for a 3 out of nowhere. (6:48) **3/4 Man oh MAN that was a hot match thanks to the cheating. Erik Watts decides to clean house, but RED SHIRT SERCURITY heads down now and double teams Watts. HEAVY D (speaking of people who should go away) is back again to clean house to Far Too Loud A Pop. And in the FUNNIEST moment all night, Tenay lets out a “wooooooo!”
DON WEST wants to direct everyone to NWATNA.com to get the latest DVDs… Before he can get into it though…
RAVEN hits the ring – and states that 20 years ago, Roddy Piper lost 80% of his hearing in a dog collar match with Greg Valentine. So next week – a Dream Blood Gallows Of Retribution match. First man to slap a dog collar on his opponent, and hang him until he passes out is the winner… I’ll wait until I see it to pass judgement – but it doesn’t sound too promising on paper.
THE CHAMP is with SCOTT HUDSON. Styles hasn’t checked in on Vince Russo, because he TOLD Russo not to do anything stupid – and he did, so Russo isn’t his problem anymore. His concern is tonight, where he’s going to walk in the champion and out the champion. NOT S.E.X. enters the scene and shows AJ some support. Siaki promises that they’re behind AJ. “You’ve got my back…all of you have my back? All of you do me a favor. Stay out of my way.” And THAT is the first promo Styles has done that makes him look like a champion to be quite frank.
TALE OF THE TAPE
Jarrett Styles 6'1" Height 5'11" 238 Weight 215 17 Years Pro 4
- Finally…the rematch - How will Russo’s absence affect Styles? - Is Jarrett’s focus on Rhodes, Piper…or Styles?
TRIPLE J vs. THE CHAMP (for the NWA world heavyweight title)
JEREMY BUFFER does ring intros. Jarrett meanwhile is much more concerned with chasing Styles out of the ring with a chair in his hands. THE JACKYL hits ringside, and begs Jarrett to cease. ERIK WATTS sides with Styles to make sure he controls his emotions. Everyone cools – and we ring the bell to start it off. They intensely lock up – and Styles takes down Jarrett with a shoulderblock. Styles with a crossbody block for 2. The announcers note the number of pies that Jarrett has his fingers in, and suggest the distractions could very well cost him the match. Jarrett sends Styles outside – and tries to hit a baseball slide but misses. Styles throws Jarrett into the guardrail and clotheslines him over the top. Styles drops Jarrett throat first on the guardrail and gets back in the ring. Jarrett tries to climb back towards the ring – and Styles hits a TOPE CON HILO OVER THE TOP AND OVER THE GUARDRAIL ONTO JARRETT!!! That boy can fly!!! Styles rolls Jarrett back in – and goes to springboard onto Jarrett, but Jarrett pulls the ropes and AJ falls. Jarrett slingshots AJ while he’s draped under the bottom rope. Styles stands, and takes a clothesline. Styles hits a back elbow, goes up, but gets caught and nailed with a spinning belly to back suplex. Jarrett boots Styles in the midsection, and we get a look at MANKIND watching over the match. Jarrett drives a knee to the midsection, and RAVEN’s keeping an eye on this. Jarrett tries a powerbomb, but Styles rolls right over into a sunset flip for 2! He picks up Jarrett for the Styles Clash – but Jarrett escapes and hits an atomic drop. JAMES STORM watches on intently. Jarrett signals for the figure four – but Styles drags himself to the ropes – turns, and hits an enzuigiri! We get a shot of CHRIS HARRIS, looking confused. Methinks the camera caught him at the wrong moment. Styles hits a hammerlock slam! He covers, and gets 2. Styles chops away – misses a moonsault, but lands on his feet, and hits a German with a bridge for 2!!! Jarrett is put up top, and they battle over something. Jarrett manages to shove him off – and when he comes back up, Jarrett hits an F5 off the top!!!! 1, 2, Styles JUST kicks out! Styles tries a spinkick, but has it blocked, and he gets tripped – and Jarrett locks in a figure four! Styles nearly gets counted down, but manages to keep getting out at 2. THE SON wanders down – but Watts is there to keep in the way. DUSTY RHODES comes down, gives Siaki a bionic elbow and beats him with a cowbell! While the referee is distracted with the mess on the outside, Jarrett grabs a chair and clocks Styles! Jarrett covers, 1, 2, Styles kicks out!!!!!! Jarrett goes back to his chair, but the referee sees it this time! Styles gets in a lowblow and sets up the chair! He sticks Jarrett’s head between the seat and the back of the chair – tries a top rope guillotine, but Jarrett moves, and Styles hits nothing!!!! Jarrett with a Stroke onto the chair, 1, 2, Styles kicks out again!!!!!!! Jarrett’s had about enough, and gets the World Title belt. Erik Watts tries to talk him out of it, and the brief distraction allows Styles to roll him up! 1, 2, Jarrett JUST kicks out! Jarrett LEVELS Styles with the belt, 1, 2, 3, FUCK!! (12:11) *** That match had 10 more minutes written ALL of it – and was building to an EASY ****1/2 classic. Regardless, we’ve got a new World Heavyweight Champion. Don Callis seems quite pleased with this. Don West says Styles had it coming from using every dirty trick to retain it previously.
Jarrett drags Tenay into the ring, and says he told him so. And as a result – he’s the NEW NWA World Heavyweight champion. Jarrett says nobody can stop him. Not Hulk Hogan, not Piper, not Sting, not Randy Savage, NOBODY! JIMMY HART appears on the TennesseeTitansTron and shows off his back which resembles ground beef. For every welt on his back, he promises Jarrett will lose a pint of blood next week – with the help of someone he used to manage. YES! Next week – the return of John Tenta – mark my words! And we sign off.
AJ Styles – if you never main event again, you can tell the world that for one night, you truly were the heavyweight champion of the world.
Okay, I'm banning you until Sunday for being stupid. Please feel free to read up on The Lines with the time you'd planned on spending posting stupid things to this message board. EDIT: Jubuki apparently deleted his message.