Nope. The Nitro from November 13, 1995 – January 8, 1996 remains missing, and unlikely to be found. If ANYONE has this footage, e-mail me please.
As a result, I have started on some extra TNA stuff I never recapped (since I only started about 5 months ago), but before too long I’ll likely turn back to the Nitro since it’s where my heart lies and what I have the most fun writing about. A shame I’ll have 2 months worth of holes though.
In the meantime, TNA had a show this past week. Let’s get to it!
Approximately a month ago, Jeff Jarrett flew to Japan and beat the crap out of Hulk Hogan. We’ve seen it before, we’ll see it again now, and we will ultimately see it again, and again, and again. Jimmy Hart then wanted to know why Jeff Jarrett lay down on the biggest night of his life back in July 2000 against Hulk Hogan, which is definitely misleading. Jarrett was already the champion, and the match was poorly built up with Hogan having been off TV for the month leading up to the show – but who needs real history when we have “Real Wrestling History As Told By Jimmy Hart”. Jarrett wouldn’t give an answer, and beat on Jimmy. Hart responded with mystery opponents, but that wasn’t all of Jarrett’s concerns. See, AJ Styles wanted a rematch, and Dusty Rhodes was more than happy to hop on a title shot should one become available. Neither got one. Later that night, Jim Duggan arrived as the mystery opponent and stunk up the place – earning a quick trip back to retirement. Jimmy Hart asks “who was in the hummer”, dragging up a sentence I was kind of hoping had also been sent into retirement, but snuck out of the home with Duggan earlier in the afternoon. Rick Steiner was in the hummer this time – and didn’t really do much before taking a guitar to the head. Then the kicker…this week – STING RETURNS. Whew! I hope you were able to follow all that because *I’m* lost!
Live footage! JIMMY HART and SCOTT HUDSON are hanging out near a limo. Jimmy suggests Jarrett’s biggest concerns might be under the tip of his nose – and laughs like a hyena. I swear I’ve seen this opening before…LIKE LAST WEEK.
MIKE TENAY and DON WEST welcome us to the Asylum for some Total Nonstop Jericho! (Quit yer daydreaming, Jericho ain’t going anywhere.) Tenay shouts “IT’S SHOWTIME!”
KID KASH and LAZZ vs. JULIO DINERO and CM PUNK
Who the FUCK thought it was a good idea to bring Lazz back??? Not a promising start to say the least. Lazz and Punk start. Lazz feels him up out of the waistlock, and Punk doesn’t take kindly to it, stomping away. Punk tries a sunset flip, and Julio makes sure it goes over with the aid of a clothesline. Painted across Julio’s chest: “Die Mitchell Die!” I didn’t know Julio was German! Lazz puts Julio’s arm under his groin and humps it – which I suppose it some sort of armbar thing. It doesn’t last long – as Julio launches Lazz back pumphandle overhead suplex style! Kash comes in and pokes Julio in the eyes a bunch. Tenay notes that backstage, Kash was NOT pleased about being paired with Lazz – but has accepted it as something of a challenge to overcome. Julio blocks a hiptoss and hits one of his own, followed by a deep armdrag. A belly to back suplex connects – and Punk comes in with a slingshot senton. Into the corner, Punk chops away HARD! Kash falls, and Punk levels him with a running knee to the head. Julio in – and he hits a dropkick for 2! Kash gets up and kicks Julio in the groin…and not gently by any stretch. Lazz gets in and steals a 2 count. Lazz hits a Northern lights for 2! That was unexpected. Kash in – and they hit the double backdrop. Kash works a camel clutch, but Julio gets out. They fight to the top rope – and Julio gets shoved off. That’s followed by a missile dropkick and a scoop slam. Kash bounces around – and lands a double spring moonsault for 2. Lazz comes in, and hits a Diamond cutter from off the top! It gets a 2 count. Kash heads in, and sets up Julio for a powerbomb, but Lazz yanks him back, ass first to his groin. *sigh* They tug back and forth from powerbomb to assfuck position before Kash has enough and shoves him. They get into a shouting match, allowing Julio to clothesline the both of them and make the hot tag. Kicks all around from Punk, followed by a powerslam for 2 on Kash! A pier 54 brawl erupts – and Kash tosses Punk to the floor. Lazz and Kash double clothesline Julio for 2 before Punk yanks Kash out. They brawl on the floor where Kash delivers some LOUD chops. Wooooo! Back in – Julio sets Lazz on his shoulders, allowing Punk to fly off the top with The Near Death Experience to score the pinfall victory! (7:22) **1/2 Post-match, Kash throws a tantrum that his team lost and uses lots of colourful language that does NOT make it on camera. Lazz takes a powerbomb – and here comes MANKIND! Abyss gets in some shots and clotheslines Kash – who quickly takes off before he can get in any more. In fact, he leaves the building, but Abyss is hot on the trail.
In a black and red room – SCOTT HUDSON crouches down to get a word with RAVEN. Raven promises tonight is the twilight of the gods – as the Church has been broken. Only he and Mitchell remain, and Mitchell has been re-assigned to a new parish…in Hell.
MIKE TENAY steps mid-ring once again for his now weekly interview with TRIPLE J. Jarrett says he’s out here to discuss two people – and the crowd wastes no time firing up a “HOGAN!” chant. Jarrett whips out a Japanese newspaper, which asks how long Hogan’s surgery is going to take. He’s wondering the same thing. A German magazine wants to know when Hogan is going to make his first TNA appearance – and again Jarrett ponders the same thought. Antonio Pena from Mexico asks if he can host Jarrett vs. Hogan in a 50,000 seat arena in Mexico. And finally, everyone wants to know if the match takes place, will it be for the World Title? Tenay adds a final question, and encourages the crowd to chant “WHY???” again, in reference to BATB 2000. Jarrett FLIPS and tells Tenay he’s had enough and orders him out of the ring. Tenay doesn’t move quick enough, so Jarrett adds “West, if you don’t get your ass up here NOW, then you’re going to be commentating alone. Tenay, get the hell out NOW.” Tenay, embarrassed and making his “angry” face, sits down. Jarrett tries to continue the promo – but the familiar music of AJ STYLES fires up, and out walks the former champion…in the crowd. With all due respect to Hogan and Sting – Styles tells Jarrett that there’s only one person he should be concentrating on Styles. “Well AJ, it’s awful hard to be concerned about somebody when their ass gets dragged out the back door. Ha ha!” Styles wants to know where his rematch is? Jarrett says Styles doesn’t have a bunch of old men gunning for him, nor does he have the press all over the world – and the reason why is he can’t cut it. Styles responds in a very respectful way. “You suck!” Jarrett says it doesn’t matter, he’s the champion. He then gives Styles some advice…to enter the X Division Triple Chance tournament. Styles says he won’t, because the X Division doesn’t need him – the Heavyweight Division requires someone to knock Jarrett off. And with that – it’s on! They fight next to the ring, trading punches – before Jarrett drops him across the safety railing and on the stairs. The bell rings 10,000 times, because lord knows that’ll make ‘em stop. Styles blocks a Stroke and dropkicks Jarrett in the face. RED SHIRT SECURITY pounces, but Styles takes THEM out too! Jarrett evens the 3-on-1 score by bringing in a chair to level Styles. Out of the ring, Red Shirt drags him around, tossing him randomly into the guardrail and beating the crap out of him. And with that – Jarrett promises to see Sting in an hour. “Choke on that.”
The beating on Styles continues – and the Red Shirts go to toss him out of the building, completely forgetting that MANKIND is out there. Abyss jumps back in, and single handedly destroys the Red Shirts. THE JACKYL arrives as Red Shirts regain their control. Callis smiles – but Abyss comes back and runs them over with clotheslines! Black Hole Slam on Ryan Wilson! Clothesline over the top for Northcutt! That leaves Callis and Abyss alone, so Abyss goozles him, but Northcutt gets back in to save. Abyss goes to hit the sitdown backbreaker on Northcutt – while Callis screams that he’s a psycho. “YOU BETTER PUT HIM DOWN PSYCHO!” So Abyss puts him down…by hitting the move! Hah! Callis takes off as Abyss follows. I smell a monster push on the way.
THE LOUNGE SINGER warms up for his match while SCOTT HUDSON lurks. Hudson points out that Mitchell isn’t a wrestler. Mitchell suggests that Raven trained for this match by pulling goldfish out of water, yanking wings off flies, and torturing small animals – since all he does is prey on the weak. Raven’s afraid of him because Mitchell questions who he is – and suggests that while he’s stronger, not to forget that he’s a thinker, and thinkers will always come out on top.
SHANE DOUGLAS vs. THE HAK
Douglas is officially out of my doghouse. I have NO idea how he pulled that off…but congratulations Troy. Don’t fuck it up. Sandman returns, looking old, haggered, and not particularly spry. Sandman busts himself open on a beer can as usual, due to his paper thin forehead. The referee and Sandman get into a tug of war with the kendo stick. The referee WINS. Okay Sandman, go home. If referees who fall over when a stiff gust of wind hits ‘em are beating you in tug of war events, it’s over. Sandman hits a back elbow – and Douglas begs off. Sandman falls into the trap, and winds up getting launched to the outside, and nailed with a baseball slide dropkick. HOLY SHIT – Douglas hits a plancha! Has he used that in…oh, I don’t know, the last FIVE years? Sandman comes back, whipping Douglas into the guardrail. He sets up a chair – but misses the jumping elbow. Douglas follows with a belly to belly into the GUARDRAIL and exposed concrete. Back in – Douglas puts his feet on the ropes, tries a pinfall, but gets 2. Vertical suplex is good, and Sandman sells the back. Douglas hits the running necksnap. Here’s to you Curt Hennig! He hits another, and follows snapmare. Tenay and West discuss various neck injuries Sandman has had over the years, adding to the psychology just THAT much more. See, I find that FAR more interesting than “geez King, what POWER being displayed by the massive Goldberg.” “Yeah, but you can’t count out Batista JR.” “No siree, that Batista is an animal. I don’t much care for his actions, but mah gawd what an athlete!” Oh yeah, right, THIS match… Sandman fights out, but gets pounded right back down with an elbow to the back of the neck. Douglas heads up, but like his idol Dick Flair, he gets caught and tossed back in. Sandman hotshots Douglas over the top rope – and hits a springboard legdrop!!! From there, he hits a slingshot guillotine on the prone Douglas, and sets him on the top rope. He nails the rana!!! I cannot figure out how a man who can barely WALK anymore still manages to bust out ranas, legdrops, and sentons every week. With the help of the kendo stick, Sandman hits the white Russian legsweep…and only gets two? SOME WOMAN who looks a bit like Trinity heads down – and comes off the top with the Pie In The Sky. YOU figure out what this Hilarious Innuendo stands for. Keep in mind, it was not me who made it up, I’m on the messenger. Sandman grabs her by the hair, but Douglas sneaks in a belly to belly, 1, 2, KICKOUT??? He hits it again, 1, 2, 3. (5:36) *3/4 Douglas rubs the woman’s ass, and welcomes her as the first member of the Franchise. She says there’s nothing that she wouldn’t do to protect the Franchise. Hrm…I SWEAR I’ve seen her before. Maybe she was a member of Bitchslap? I can’t remember, I was TRYING to block those horrid skits and catfights out of my head. Whatever, she doesn’t have a name yet – let’s move on.
JIMMY HART (I’m starting to sense a pattern) talks turkey with SCOTT HUDSON. Jimmy says Sting is his friend – and with Bound For Glory right around the corner, that’s why the Stinger has chosen to show up tonight. Jimmy gets back into the “WHY?” stuff – at which point STING joins asking the same question, and announces it’s showtime!
THE SON and EKMO (with Trinity) vs. AMERICA’S MOST WANTED
Trinity has raided Trish Stratus’ wardrobe, and swiped a hat! Siaki and Storm start. They trade hiptosses, before Siaki scores a 1 count off one of them. Siaki shrugs off a dropkick, but misses the somersault legdrop. Siaki applauds the move, and slaps Storm – followed by an eye rake. Storm comes back with a rana and turns it over to Chris Harris. Harris hits an atomic drop, Storm hits a Russian legsweep, and Harris gets 2. Ekmo comes in, and Harris shoves him off! Ekmo no-sells a few shoulderblocks and clotheslines the crap out of Harris. Scoop slam is good for 2. Siaki comes in – but Harris recovers, and hits a 17 second vertical suplex!!! Storm comes in, and they hit a double dropkick for 2! The referee grows distracted with Harris, so Ekmo chokes Storm out in the ropes and tags himself in. Scoop slam, big fat legdrop, 1, 2, kickout from Storm! Ekmo works over Storm with headbutts, while West states that if AMW loses this match, they will fall all the way to the bottom of the contenders list. That seems a little extreme, considering this team has lost, what, all of 4 times all year…maybe? Storm hits a DDT on Siaki and starts the crawl over to Harris. Harris comes in, knocks Ekmo off the apron, and backdrops Siaki. Full nelson slam for Siaki – but Ekmo comes in to stop any more attacks. HOLY SHIT – Harris BACKDROPS Ekmo! Flying clothesline gets a 2 before Siaki breaks it up. Harris drops Siaki out to the floor, and Trinity berates him. Siaki immediately rushes in to shove Harris off the top rope – allowing a double team gorilla press for 2. Storm gets in, but his superkick is blocked by Siaki. He DOES hit a strange forward DDT thing, for 2! Ekmo comes back in – and they attempt an avalanche – but Storm sidesteps and Ekmo nails Siaki!!! Harris follows with a SPEAR on Ekmo!!!!! 1, 2, KICKOUT – FUCK! Storm hits a slingshot crossbody on Siaki who is recovering on the floor – but Siaki comes back with a whip into the guardrail. Trinity rolls a chair into Chris Harris??? Da fock is this? Harris nails Ekmo behind the referee’s back – but the referee remains distracted with Trinity and can’t count. I’m lost. Siaki sneaks in – but Harris is ready for the Catatonic…which he can’t hit because THE REAL DAVID YOUNG fucking sneaks in with a tennis racket shot – and Siaki hits the Siakalypse. Goddamnit no. 1, 2, 3. (9:11) The usual *** for AMW, but MAN that ending was annoying…
In the back, THE MIDNIGHT COWBOY, DIAMOND and SWINGER, and THE REAL DAVID YOUNG gloat about the loss AMW just suffered. Young is welcomed to the group officially by Gilberti – at which point Young says that was simply part 1 of a 2 part plan. Gilberti is confused by a second part. The second part is Young and Gilberti against 3 Live Kru! Gilberti is NOT happy about that since it’s his “night off” – so Young suggests he’s afraid. Swinger jumps in and says this is a GREAT idea since they can kill 2 birds with one stone. Gilberti pounds the wall and takes off while the tag champs invite SCOTT HUDSON to come along for a drink. Hudson: “I’m in!”
Here’s a look at some of Michael Young’s title defences to date – and the interview in which Young decrees he won’t waste his time with people who can’t elevate his career any longer, proposing the Triple Chance tournament.
LOW KI vs. CHRIS SABIN vs. SONJAY DUTT vs. SHARK BOY vs. JOHNNY STORM vs. CHAD COLLYER vs. CHRISTOPHER DANIELS vs. X (in an over the top rope battle royal)
Rules are this: Top 5 guys move on. The 2nd place guy takes on the 5th place guy next week, and the 3rd and 4th place do battle. 1st place get a bye to the finals, where the 2 winners and 1st place get it on. Winner gets a title shot against Michael Shane. X is a thick guy in a Villano mask. WHERE’S LA CUCARACHA??? We’re reminded the X division is not about weight, but about style, which is why X is allowed to compete. He takes Dutt and Storm out with clotheslines. Storm tries to eliminate Dutt, but he hangs on. Sabin hits a backbreaker on Low Ki. Collyer nails a German suplex on Christopher Daniels. Storm tries something on Dutt – but winds up DDTed for his effort – but comes back with a Whirlwind. Storm nearly winds up eliminated by Chris Daniels on top, but Shark Boy rushes over to sunset flip Daniels back in. Shark Boy attempts his Deep Sea Dive on Collyer, but gets stopped and nailed with a brainbuster by X. That’s followed by a powerbomb on Johnny Storm by X – leading to an easy elimination. (3:04) Shark Boy is right behind him, thanks to X. (3:10) Dutt tries some dropkicks, but X no sells. He gets hit with a rana by Dutt, but is promptly right back up – hitting an overhead uranage into the turnbuckle! From there, he’s press slammed over the top with ease. (3:55)SHANE DOUGLAS and SOME WOMAN watch the match – and Tenay suggests Douglas is behind X. Daniels tries to backdrop Collyer out, but he hangs on and fights his way back in, despite a springboard attack from Low Ki, which he blocks. Back in, he doesn’t fare as well – as he’s hit with a spinebuster by Daniels and catapulted out in short order. See ya Chad! (4:55) Daniels tries to whip X, but fails miserably. An enzuigiri is no sold, and X hits a sitdown chokeslam/powerbomb!!!! He misses an avalanche on Low Ki – but a rana from Ki is blocked and powerbombs him HEAD FIRST into the turnbuckle! X goes up, but Daniels cuts him off and Low Ki jumps with everything he’s got to kick him in the head about 8 feet in the air! That’s followed by a slam from Daniels off the top, and Sabin nails a froggy splash! He follows with an enzuigiri to Daniels, and delivers one to Low Ki. Sabin’s the only guy on his feet, and hits Daniels with a wind up backbreaker! Ki sees a chance to dump Sabin, and they fight on the ropes – so Daniels helps, shoving them BOTH over. They both manage to hang on however. Ki flips, and chops the hell out of Daniels, tosses him – but Daniels hangs on. They fight mid ring – and Ki blocks an Angels Wings, and that’s followed by Daniels blocking the Ki Crusher. Ki does manage to hook a Dragon Sleeper right by the ropes, and Sabin sees the chance to shove ‘em both out, and does!!! (9:13) X and Sabin are the final two. X nails a hard shoulderblock – so Sabin rolls out to recover. X follows right behind and runs him into the steps. Ki and Daniels continue to do battle on the floor, despite security trying to break it up. HOLY MOTHER OF GOD – X hits a PACKAGE PILEDRIVER on a chair!!!! From there, Sabin’s dead weight, and X tosses him with ease. (10:25) **3/4
To the back, where THE JACKYL and SCOTT HUDSON converse. Hudson wants to know why Callis thinks he can control Abyss – but Callis is only interested in discussing the wonder that is X. Hudson asks if Callis is responsible for X? Callis says he’s responsible for a lot of things. Hudson mentions we’ll be hearing from Roddy Piper later, which Callis declares “the update from the mental institution!” Callis says nobody should be allowed to watch this footage! RED SHIRT SECURITY busts in and announce they know where “he” is. Callis takes off.
Here’s the Roddy Piper video package. Piper’s standing near a hospital, saying something about Russo in a hospital, but he’s REALLY hard to understand. Piper says with Russo out of the way, the doors should be open to his return. NWA is the grandfather of all wrestling promotions, and will always be his home. Piper compares the red shirts to red coats, that we eliminated years ago in a war. Piper brings up Hogan – and says he’s not sure he’ll let Hogan win the NWA World Title. Piper promises to come back, and talks about the rocket ship again. I have NO idea what the point of ANY of that was.
THE MIDNIGHT COWBOY and THE REAL DAVID YOUNG vs. 3 LIVE KRU
The idea here from Young is that if they take out 3 Live Kru – they will have successfully killed all the top contenders to the tag-team titles in one night. Konnan gets mic time, much to my dismay. We start with Killings and Young. Killings rolls him up in a small package for an early 2. That’s followed by a rana and hiptoss. Tag in to the Jizzle. They hit a double team elbowdrop for 2. Konnan joins the Spanish Announce Team. James hits his punches and shaky shaky kneedrop for 2. James knocks Gilberti off the apron – allowing Young to fire off a spinebuster! NOW Gilberti is more than happy to come in, and he hits a Russian legsweep. Gilberti drops an elbow while West compares Gilberti to a great man in Herb Tarlic. I find that greatly unfair to Herb! I would imagine since we’re making comparisons that Sandman is our Johnny Fever. James and Gilberti hit a double clothesline – and both tag out. Killings drops Young with a series of punches – so Gilberti strikes from behind. Killings comes back with a flying forearm shot – and DDTs Young for 2! Killings and James whip Young and Gilberti into eachother. Killings and Gilberti fight out to the floor – while James and Young battle inside. Gilberti whips Killings into the apron, and steals the chair of JEREMY BORASH! Konnan jumps back into the fight, and knocks Gilberti over – but the chair remains in the ring. James and the referee hand the chair out Killings – and Konnan tosses a tennis racket over to James while the ref remains busy! He levels Young, Killings hits an axekick, covers, 1, 2, 3! (4:16) *1/4
After the fact, Konnan hits a rolling thunder clothesline on Gilberti – so DIAMOND and SWINGER attack. AMW head out to even up the numbers – and everyone separates. AMW somehow wind up carrying the tag-team titles. Harris calls Gilberti the most worthless piece of crap on earth. He demands a rematch with Swinger and Diamond NOW. James jumps in and says it’s great they saved the day, but there is NO way AMW are the #1 contenders. In fact, they’re looking at the top contenders. THE SON, EKMO, and TRINITY are the next to crash the party. Siaki tells AMW and 3LK to go home – because Siaki and Ekmo took care of business tonight, and as a result Gilberti owes them. They want a title shot. Gilberti asks Young if he made a deal with Siaki and Ekmo? Young says yes. Hah! Gilberti says he doesn’t work well under pressure, and disappears.
Here’s a look at the feud between Raven and Mitchell – starting at the hair vs. hair match, and working our way to the present. Then, in some footage we didn’t see until now, Mitchell running around in the parking lot last week, freaking out about the idea of facing Raven.
THE LOUNGE SINGER vs. RAVEN (in a last man standing match)
Mitchell tries to bail immediately – but Raven’s on him and throws him into the ring steps. Taking a close look at Mitchell, I’ve FINALLY figured out who it is he’s supposed to be “insinuating” a resemblance to. Without a shadow of a doubt, he’s done a fantastic job at getting the look down perfectly, and today he’s exactly as I remember him. It’s almost eerie… James Mitchell IS Ed Ferrara. Mitchell juices right away while Raven knocks him out with a cobra clutch. Back in they go, where Raven whips Mitchell with a chain, and chokes him out with the chain wrapped around the mouth. Raven grabs a chair – when suddenly THE GATHERING arrives at ringside. Zuh? The distraction gives Mitchell enough to sneak in a low blow and he gives Raven a chairshot! Another one is delivered, so Mitchell covers for barely a 2. He tries to choke Raven out, grabs the chain and starts to whip Raven. The guy looks so uncomfortable in the ring right now it’s ridiculous – and I can’t imagine him wanting to do this again. Mitchell slaps Raven – allowing Raven to come right back with a couple of clotheslines, and sets up the chair. He hits the drop toe hold onto the chair, nails the Evenflow, 1, 2, 3. From here, we wait for the 10 count – but it’s just a formality. (5:14) 1/4*
For fun, Raven hangs Mitchell over the top rope while the Gathering looks on in amusement. He lets go after about a minute, and grabs the mic. “So much for Jim Mitchell and his new church!” Yep, that’ll officially end this feud. “I told you Jim Mitchell I would go through your men one by one by one. And now, I have a destiny to fulfill, because Jeff Jarrett, Jeff Jarrett, I’m coming for you! I have a destiny to be NWA World Heavyweight Champion. However, in this quest, I need to do this alone. I’ve asked you for 5 weeks, I said please allow me to do my stuff. I thank you for your help, but I’m setting you guys free. You guys did a great job, but look it’s a hard road, and I walk it alone, I’ve always walked it alone.” Punk is not happy, and begs Raven not to do this. “Boss, don’t walk away, boss, Raven, Raven please, please, Raven please don’t do this!” Raven just walks off to the back while Punk continues his begging.
LOW KI busts onto the scene while Tenay and West hype next week – and promises to Christopher Daniels that he will prove he is the better man.
TRIPLE J vs. STING (in a non title match)
I once again question whether or not it’s a title match – since they hyped it on the website as a match between the Champion and a “challenger” but never once did they mention it was a title match. I will assume it’s not, but we’ll discuss that later. Jarrett immediately bails – stalling as much as possible to take the crowd out of it. He heads in – and Sting nails him with a shoulderblock. He follows that with a clothesline, and Jarrett begs off. I’m WAITING for 5 fake Stings to wander down, like the last time these two had a match. They have a test of strength, and Sting takes him down in seconds. Takedown – and Sting goes for the Scorpion Deathlock!!!! He gets it applied – but Jarrett crawls like a madman to the ropes for the break! Outside they go, and Sting wraps a Sting blanket over Jarrett’s face and punches him. They brawl into the crowd where Jeff leaps at Sting, but Sting gets a right hand to Jarrett’s midsection. Sting nails Jarrett with a couple of chairshots and tosses a Rubbermaid at him. They fight back to the announce table, where Sting grabs Tenay’s portable fan and decks Jarrett! Back in we go, where Jarrett’s a bloody mess. Jarrett does manage to get in a sleeper hold, but Sting fights out and they trade punches. Sting gets the better of it and starts running Jeff over with clotheslines – and hits a Stinger splash! Again he goes back to the Scorpion Deathlock, but Jarrett shoves him off and he accidently falls onto the referee. Jarrett grabs the title belt, but misses the belt shot and gets dropped with a Deathdrop!!!! 1, 2, and THE JACKYL arrives to pull the referee out. Jarrett nails Sting with the belt – and Callis shoves the referee in. 1, 2, and now JIMMY HART stops the referee. Sting slaps on a Scorpion Deathlock – and now RED SHIRT SECURITY hits the ring. Sting hits ‘em all with Stinger Splashes but Jarrett grabs a chair to knock out Sting, drawing a DQ finally. (8:43) **1/4
We continue the triple team beatdown of Sting – but the fans erupt because RAVEN has hit the ring! He and Jarrett trade punches – which Raven wins and goes for the Evenflow!!! Northcutt stops him short, and Raven can’t fight off all three, despite a valiant effort. AJ STYLES decides to give it a go – and hits a crossbody on everybody! Jarrett takes a spinkick – and Styles goes to work. It doesn’t last though, because Red Shirt Security hits a double team powerbomb. The fans scream again, this time because MANKIND hobbles down! EVERYONE bails immediately, not wanting to face this guy. Styles is pleased and holds up the arm of Abyss! So Abyss DROPS HIM HARD with a Black Hole Slam! Holy fuck, I think Styles is half way to hell from that one! Jarrett and the Red Shirts celebrate this heel turn, and Jarrett grabs his guitar. Sting’s back to his feet – Jarrett swings, but STING BLOCKS IT with his bat!!!! The guitar explodes on collision, and Sting goes to work, taking out Jarrett, Abyss, and The Red Shirts with wild bat swinging!! Tenay: “Sting has cleaned house!” Out of nowhere, Callis yells “Raven, you’ll never be World Champion.” What the hell? We cut back to the entrance way where Callis promises the Red Shirts will be taking care of Raven next week. Sting meanwhile grabs a mic and says he likes what’s going on in TNA…and likes it so much he’ll be back NEXT WEEK! However, it’s on the condition that AJ Styles is his tag-team partner! Jarrett says that’s no problem, because he’s got a man who can’t wait to show up in TNA. And that man?
The Total Package, Lex Luger.
Now – the ending was hot, and was a great end to a very well done show. THAT SAID, initially I was pretty annoyed that Sting was not announced as the World Champion – ONLY due to the fact they’ve made such a big deal over the title changing hands in DQ situations. TNA did a very poor job of painting whether or not the match was or was not for the belt to the point I assumed it was because last week WAS a title match – and presented in the EXACT SAME WAY. I’m not a mind reader when it comes to this stuff, and in the future I would simply appreciate them stating either way in advance so I don’t come off wondering about the lapse in continuity when they change their minds on the fly.
Thread ahead: Inside The Ropes - ANOTHER Retro Edition Next thread: The Obtuse Review: A Stone Cold Letdown Previous thread: Inside The Ropes - Raw Rating Plunges 0.0001 %, WWE Going Out Of Business For Sure
Last Week: Those Darned Canadians booed all of the faces. Kevin Nash groped some man boobies. And the wrestling world was stunned at the debut of StoneMan Still Austinberg. Backstage before the show: Triple H: Uh…hey, Kevin! Nash: Grrr… HHH: